I really like where this story has gone; I hope you all do as well. This chapter is very Emma centric.

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Chapter 9

For the next three days, Emma did nothing but sleep, take her pills, and go back to sleep. Maybe she'd allow Regina to get food down her occasionally, but mostly, she just slept.

"I miss her." Regina admitted to her mother as they drank coffee before Regina went to work. "I know she's here, and I know she's going through a horrible thing, and it's so selfish, but I miss her. Her smile, her laugh, just…talking."

Cora sighed and put her hand on her daughters. "It's not selfish. Unfortunately, we have to be patient and be here for her when she decides to open up. Does she know I'm here?"

"No…I didn't tell her because I don't want her angry with me but mom, I can't leave her here alone."

"I know, baby girl. Go up and say goodbye to her, even if she doesn't say anything back. I'll stay here until you get home and if you're going to be late, I'll stay in the guest room."

"Thanks, mom." Regina said, kissing her cheek. She took a breath before heading to her room. "Emma?" She turned the light on and was surprised to find the bed empty. She had about half a second to panic before she heard the shower running. She stepped into the bathroom with a small smile. Emma hadn't showered since this happened. "Emma baby? Are you okay?"

Emma peaked out from the shower curtain, trying her best to give a smile. "I'm okay. I thought maybe if I showered and at least walked around a bit, I'd start to feel better." She wasn't completely lying, only leaving out some details. "I'm sorry I've been so down."

Regina sighed. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Ems. Do you want me to stay home today? It's busy with the audit, but I'm sure Mal can cover it."

"No baby. You have to work and I understand that. You're off Sunday, right?"

"Yes I am."

"Okay, then just two more days and we can spend all day together. I'm going to try to be better by then, Regina, I promise."

Regina shook her head and held out the towel as Emma stepped out. She wrapped it and her arms around Emma. "Emma, my love. There is no rush to feel better. You're going through a lot right now and no one is expecting you to just be okay. Take all the time you need. You're still going to see Dr. Nolan on Monday, right?"

Emma gave a nod. "I tried to get in sooner, but she's fully booked. She said she'd call if something opened up."

"Okay baby. I hate to leave you and any other time I wouldn't."

"It's okay, Regina. You never asked for any of this and I…"

"You never asked for it either." Regina said sternly.

Emma smiled softly, a real smile. "I know baby. I'm just saying you have no reason to feel guilty. I'm going to be okay; it may take time, but I'll be okay eventually." The blonde really didn't know why she was keeping the secret she was keeping; she just felt like this was something she had to do alone. She just hoped it would actually help her. "Now, go to work and don't worry about me."

"I will go, but I will worry. I love you so much, Emma. Please, never doubt that."

Emma softly kissed Regina's lips. "I love you too."

Regina headed to the front door as Emma got dressed and was about to turn and tell her that her mother was there, but her phone rang, and she really had to go. "Mom, Emma's just out of the shower and will hopefully be coming out of the room today. I forgot to tell her you're here, but I really have to go."

"No problem, sweetheart. Have a good day."

"Thank you so much, Alex, I'll be there at eleven sharp. Thank you for letting me do this." Emma said before hanging up. She tied her hair back and put her shoes on before coming out of the room. Turning the corner, the blonde just about jumped out of her skin when she saw Cora. "Shit, you scared me. What are you doing here?"

"Well hello to you too, Ms. Swan." Cora said, though she was smirking. "I just stopped by to see how my girls are doing." She rose a brow at Emma's attire. "Going somewhere?"

"Did Regina hire you to baby sit me?" Emma sighed, helping herself to a piece of toast. "That's really kind of you, but I'm fine."

"Okay, but where are you going?" Cora asked. "You didn't tell Regina you were going anywhere."

"I wasn't aware I had to." Emma said and then sighed. "Sorry…I didn't mean…Cora I just have something I need to do and until I do it, I don't want Regina to know."

Cora sat on a stool at the counter. "You're going to see her, aren't you? That Margaret woman who did all this to you."

Emma looked down. "I have to, Cora." She said quietly. "I get that you may not understand, but I have questions that only she can answer."

Cora lifted Emma's chin. "I do understand, Emma. I do. I just…what if she won't answer you? What if you go and see her and she refuses to give you the answers you so desperately want?"

"Then at least I tried." Emma said, though she knew she'd take it harder. "But I can't see that being the case since she approved for me to visit her." Emma looked at the clock. "I have to go or I'll miss the bus."

"You think I'm going to let you go alone? No sweetheart, we can go, but I'm driving and we're stopping to get you real food…or at least drive through food."

"Cora you don't…"

"Either I go with or I call Regina."

"Fine." Emma said, relenting. "Fine. Let's go."

Emma was quiet in the car, even after forcing herself to eat a breakfast sandwich and drink some coffee. "I don't know if they'll let you in the visiting area. Alex told them it would just be her and I."

"That's fine. I just want to be here for you, Emma. I can wait until you're done."

"I haven't seen her since it happened." The blonde said softly. She shook her head. "When I first met her, I did something I hadn't done in years. I allowed myself to hope. I allowed myself to open to her, to hope this was going to be a good thing. It was at first and I let my guard down. I think that's why it hurt so much when it happened; because I thought she was different, I thought I was finally good enough."

Cora looked at the clock and knew they had time. She pulled over, parked her car, and turned to Emma, taking her hands. "I understand why you or anyone else in your situation would blame themselves or think they were not good enough, but Emma, it wasn't you. Don't get me wrong, the foster system is great when it works, but it failed you Emma and they failed you. Those adults who were supposed to love you and care for you, failed you. It wasn't you, my sweet girl." She did her best to wrap her arms around the now crying blonde. "Can I ask Emma…how are you going to feel if her answers aren't what you want to hear?"

Emma sniffed and used her napkin to wipe her nose. "I don't know, Cora, but I have to try. I can't explain why this means so much, but it does. Maybe I'm hoping it'll bring some kind of closure. Cora, I don't want to have this affect me forever and I don't know, but I think I need closure."

"I understand and I'm not stopping you, Emma. I just really hope you get what you're looking for, and if you don't, I hope you can find a way to accept that."

"I'll try my best. That's all I can say."

"Okay, dear. Let's get going."

The two entered reception and Alex was already there. "Oh, I didn't know you'd have someone with you."

"I didn't feel right with her coming on her own and riding back alone. I'm Cora Mills, Regina's mother. I don't have to go with; I can stay out here; I just want to be here when she's done."

"I'm glad to hear that she'll have someone with her." Alex looked to Emma. "Are you ready?"

Emma swallowed a few times. "Yes. I…I think so."

As Alex and Emma left, Cora sat and took her phone out. She'd felt bad for not telling Regina, but she understood why Emma didn't want her to know at the time. Now, however, she called her daughter.

"Hello? Mom? Is Emma okay?"

"Yes dear, deep breath. Emma's just fine. I wanted to call you and tell you where we are."

"Where you are?"

"Emma didn't want to tell you because she was afraid you'd either try to talk her out of it or insist on coming with you."

"You're at the prison, aren't you? To see Margaret?"

"How did you know?"

"Mom, I'm glad. I wouldn't have tried to stop her because I've been wanting to suggest it myself. I would, however, insisted on going with her. I'm glad you're there in case she doesn't get the answers she's looking for. Thank you for calling me though and letting me know. Call me later?"

"I will, sweetheart. I really do hope this goes the way she wants it to."

Emma felt her heart pounding as she sat at the table waiting for Margaret. Her leg was bouncing, and she had to keep reminding herself to breathe. "Emma, are you okay?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, just nervous. I know she can't hurt me, I get that, but I'm scared I'm either not going to like her answers, or not get any."

Alex put her hand on Emma's. "I hope you can get answers, Emma, but I can't make her."

"I know." Emma looked up as prisoners started coming into the visitation area. She swallowed the bile in her throat when she saw the woman. "She looks the same." Emma whispered.

The woman came and sat at the table across from Emma. She looked nervously at the blonde. "Emma…you haven't changed a bit. You're so beautiful."

"Don't." Emma said sternly. "Don't say that."

"Emma, I'm sorry. I never thought you'd want to see me and I'm not sure what to say."

Emma looked at her, blinking back tears. "Tell me why. Why me, Margaret? What did I ever do to you?"

Margaret sighed and looked down. "It wasn't my plan, Emma. I didn't look for you specifically or plan for any of that to happen. Believe it or not, I had hoped for you to have one good home before you were out on your own. I planned on staying in contact with you and making sure you were on the right track. Emma, I cared a lot about you and only wanted the best for you."

"Then what the hell happened, Margaret, because that was not a show of caring or a good home. It was rape, Maggie, you let them rape me and you filmed it and people are still watching me get raped. You got paid to let men rape me! You betrayed me more than anyone in my life ever has! Why?! What did I ever do to you?! What did I do to deserve it?" Others were looking over, but Emma didn't care. "I need to know why, Maggie. Please, just tell me why."

Maggie sat back, her own tears filling her eyes. "I had to, Emma. My daughter got mixed up with Mr. K and ended up owing him a large debt. He said he'd kill her if we didn't pay up and I didn't have the money. He worked out a way for us to get it as soon as he saw you. I didn't want it to happen, I never wanted him to know about you, but he was at our house when you came home early from school one day due to being sick. He told me if I didn't do what he said, he'd kill me and my daughter." She wiped at her eyes. "I sacrificed you for my own daughter and I'm sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I've regretted it every day. You didn't deserve it, Emma, and you did nothing wrong. I couldn't face you afterwards because I was so ashamed of what I did. When you left, I had no right to stop you, but I should have. I should have talked to you and apologized."

Emma sniffed, blowing her nose, and taking it all in. "I…I guess I can maybe understand that, but why record it? Why let it go online?"

"I had no idea about that, Emma. Yes, I knew it was being recorded, but I was told only I would have access to it and once the debt was paid off and you were done, I could delete them. I was told to have it recorded in case one of them went too far. I had no idea he also had access to them. Emma, you didn't deserve any of this and I've been waiting for this day; the day I get what I deserve and the day I can give you answers. I failed you in the worst way and I deserve any punishment I get, but you didn't deserve it, none of it."

"What happened to your daughter?" Emma asked, though she knew she may not get an answer.

Margaret sighed. "She ran off as soon as she could. She's died since. The world of drugs is a dangerous one."

"So, she died anyway? You allowed me to get raped over and over and she just left and died anyway? You sacrificed me for nothing! Do you get that? You gave away my innocents, my body, my…my fucking life for someone who just threw it all away?!"

"Yes! I did, Emma, and I'm sorry! I'm so damn sorry!" She reached forward for Emma's hand, but Emma pulled it away. "If I could take anything back, it would be what I did to you. I know I can't say or do anything to make it okay and I hate that because you deserve so much better. I'm going to testify against all of them; in each case, I will tell them what they did…what I allowed them to do. I want everyone who hurt you, including me, to be punished." She looked at Alex. "I don't want that deal my lawyer made with you. I want to be punished as I should be."

"No." Emma said, surprising even herself. "You didn't have to give names and you did. You get that deal, but I hope you get the harshest sentence possible. I know you said you're sorry and I actually believe you are, but that doesn't change what you did to me, what you allowed to happen to me. It doesn't change that I am all kinds of fucked up in the head because of all of this, nor does it change the fact that there are videos of me online being raped! Do you get how that messes with someone? Do you even understand the damage you have done? Sorry or not, you can't ever take that back." Emma looked at Alex. "Thank you for setting this up. I got my answers, I'm leaving now." Emma stood and Margaret once again tried to touch Emma's hand. "Don't touch me! Do not fucking touch me!"

Margaret pulled her hand back. "I'm so sorry. I just…Emma, please don't blame yourself for any of it. It was not your fault and nothing you did. You were innocent in all of it."

Emma turned and glared at her. "I'm so glad to know that so many fucking years later." She hissed before turning and leaving the area. She came out to the waiting area and saw Cora. "We need to go now. Please."

Cora stood and put her arm around Emma as they walked out. "Are you okay?"

"I just need to get far away from that woman." Emma said, wiping her eyes.

"Did you get answers?"

"Yes. As much as I don't like it, I got answers and closure. I wish Dr. Nolan had an opening for an appointment today though, I'd really like to talk to her now and not wait until Monday."

Cora opened Emma's door and then got in her own side. "Call her. Just call and check. You never know."

Emma nodded and got her phone out. "Hi Grace, it's Emma. I know it's a shot in the dark, but has Dr. Nolan happened to have any cancellations? Really? I'll take it…wait a minute." She covered the phone. "Cora, can you take me to her office? I'll find a way back home…to Regina's."

"It's your home too and yes I can."

"Thank you. Grace? Yes, I'll take it. I may be just a few minutes late, but I'll be there. Thank you so much." Emma hung up and sat back, her mind going a mile a minute. Cora was quiet, giving Emma space, but Emma looked over. "She said it was nothing I did. She said she never planned it but needed to do it to save her daughter. I don't know if that's worse or better. In the end, her daughter ended up running away anyway." Emma said and then explained it.

"That's…that's no excuse." Cora said, though, she knew most mothers would do anything for their children. "Do you feel any better?"

"Weirdly, yes. I just want to talk to Dr. Nolan as well. I…I have so much going on in my head."

"I get it, but I just wanted to make sure this trip was worthwhile."

"Very much so. Thank you so much for taking me." Emma opened the door at Dr. Nolan's. "You don't have to wait; I can take the bus."

"I'll wait and we'll go out for a late lunch."

"Thanks, Cora." Emma said and headed into the office. She caught Mary Margaret up on everything that happened and her trip to the emergency room.

"I'm prescribing more Xanax for you, but only take it when you feel the need. You're going through a lot, Emma, and there's no shame in taking medication to help you cope. Now, tell me how you feel about today."

"Conflicted, to be honest. It's why I wanted to talk to you. See, I'm very glad to have answers, but…"

"But?"

"But it didn't exactly help as much as I'd hoped it would."

"It didn't take away the past."

"No, and I have no idea how to feel. I do think she was being honest and really was sorry and felt bad, but…I just don't know that I can forgive her."

"Who says you have to?"

"Isn't that what people are supposed to do? Forgive others? I mean, I've read that you can never move past things if you don't forgive. I just…I really don't think I can forgive, even if I believe she is sorry."

Mary sat back. "I don't believe that. I think there are some things in life that are unforgivable, and this is one of them. You don't owe her anything, Emma, and you don't have to forgive her to move past it. I believe now that you know it wasn't anything you did, that you were innocent, you will have an easier time healing. One day, if you feel you're ready, maybe you can forgive her; but no one will ever just expect you to." She looked at Emma. "If you do believe she is sorry, do you also believe you did nothing wrong?"

Emma thought for a bit and then finally gave a nod. "I think I actually do. It makes sense, you know? Why she was so kind to me, why she made me feel safe. Because that's how it was supposed to be before her daughter got in trouble. I mean, it doesn't make it easier, but at least I know it wasn't me." She bit her lip. "I just…I'm not a bad person if I don't forgive her, right?"

Mary sighed and shook her head. "No, you're not. Emma, if you were to be sitting here saying you do forgive her, I would be worried. Like I said, some things are unforgiveable."

Emma gave a nod. "Thank you and thank you for seeing me today. I know I come in on Monday but I just…I needed reassurance; you know?"

"I do understand and you're welcome. Emma, today was focused on what you found out today but Monday, I think we really need to discuss everything else. I know you're focusing on Margaret's visit, but we do need to look at the fact that those videos are online and what that means to you. I understand you not working and I support that, but maybe while you're home, don't just sit and be depressed. Write a journal, write in this." She said, handing Emma a notebook. "Write about anything and everything you're feeling. If you think about the past, write about it. It's a way to get your feelings out."

Emma took the notebook. "I'll do my best. I'm also going to be working on school stuff. I just…I can't go back to work yet." She looked down. "I don't know if I ever can, but we can talk about that on Monday."

"We will talk about that on Monday. I'm changing it to a double session. I'll see you then, Emma, but if you need anything in-between time, you have my number."

"Thank you so much."

Emma and Cora had a quiet but nice late lunch and when they got back, Emma said she needed a nap. She was emotionally exhausted after her morning and after taking a pill, she needed sleep.

Regina came home and smiled at the note Cora had left her. She had gone home for the night and said she'd check in on Emma the next day. She went into her room and smiled at the blonde who was sitting up in the bed. "Hey."

Emma smiled and muted the tv. "Hey. I hope you don't mind but I ordered us Chinese food."

"I don't mind at all. Let me shower quick." She said, kissing Emma.

After her shower, the two cuddled in bed and ate dinner, talking about their day. "Regina, I'm sorry but I'm not ready to come back to work yet. If I can be honest, I don't know if I ever will be."

Regina ran her fingers through Emma's hair. "I understand. What if, when you're ready, you come back as my assistant. I don't mean to the girls like Mal or as my secretary like Jenny, but as my business assistant. You can help take care of budgets and advertising and all that stuff you're going to school for. You wouldn't even need to come in as you can do it from here." She kissed Emma. "I don't care if you never work again, if I'm honest, but I know you and I know you will want to."

Emma smiled softly. "I'll think about it. I will honestly really think about it." She kissed Regina's hand. "Thank you so much for standing by me through all of this. It's not going to get easier with the court should I have to testify but knowing you're in my corner helps me more than you know."

Regina smiled. "You deserve it, my love. I just hope that when this is done, you feel like you've had closure."

"I really think I will. Thank you."

The two cuddled and fell asleep holding each other.