Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. I also do not share her homophobic views.

Chapter Fifty-Six

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The hospital wing was abuzz with a whirlwind of activity. Everyone had swarmed in as Sirius levitated Harry to a bed near the back of the wing, his face pale and drawn. Harry looked as though he'd been stunned, his mouth slack. It had gotten so packed that, despite the enormity of the wing itself, Madame Pomphrey had barked an order that anyone who was not immediate family was to remove themselves from the Wing before she hexed them. The few people that remained at Harry's bedside were Sirius, Madame Pomphrey, and Slughorn. The moment Remus and Narcissa saw the procession hurrying to the infirmary.

"Go with them," he urged, gripping Narcissa's arm. "I'll go and get Draco!"

Narcissa looked as though she was about to protest, but Remus was already bolting down the corridor while the Auror took her forearm and steered her in the opposite direction.

By the time Remus reached McGonagall's office he felt slightly winded. He fumbled for a moment with the password before the gargoyle hopped to one side. He tore up the stairs and slammed the door open, startling those within. Auror Buxley had his wand pointed at Remus' chest. He held his hands up in surrender, his chest heaving. He turned his eyes to McGonagall and Draco.

"You need to get to the hospital wing!" he gasped. "Harry's collapsed!"

Draco quickly scrawled his signature on the parchment spread on the desk, tossed the quill aside and hurried to Remus' side. "Is he okay?" he asked, his grey eyes wide and fearful.

Remus pressed his lips together. "Sirius brought him in. I don't know what happened, but he looked in pain. Pomphrey is with them, but I don't know if they're going to get Mungo's involved."

Draco shook his head, "No, no, the press will have a field day!"

"I'm aware. Let's just hope this has been contained enough."

"We'll deal with this," McGonagall stated curtly, waving a hand at the parchment sprawled across her desk. "We shall meet you at the infirmary momentarily."

Draco wasted no time in rushing out the door, Remus hot on his heels. They hurried down to the hospital wing, side-by-side, those early morning jogs finally having some benefit after all. The corridors flashed by in a blur; as they drew nearer to the entrance hall, the cacophony of two hundred voices shattered the silence of the rest of the castle. By the time they reached the hospital wing, Draco was panting heavily, adrenaline and panic making it hard to breathe, while Remus drew in deep, controlled breaths, his cheeks only slightly flustered. His mother and her Auror escort were sat outside. Though her eyes were pinched at the corners and her face was drawn, she held herself with a regal air. Upon seeing Draco and Remus turn the corner, she got to her feet, opening her arms for Draco to collapse into.

"They wouldn't let me in," she stated by way of an apology. "I'm sorry, Dragon."

Draco squeezed her tightly, "It's okay. We have to trust Pomphrey. She's good at what she does."

Remus' hand grasped Draco's shoulder tightly. "Do you want me to go in first?"

Draco froze. He hadn't even thought of that. His stomach churned at the thought of Harry writhing in pain. The thought made him fight the urge to vomit. Looking up at Remus, he gave a shaky nod. He felt like a coward. Remus gave his shoulder another squeeze before slipping past them and disappearing into the hospital wing. Draco sank down into the chair beside his mother and dropped his head into his hands.

.

Inside the infirmary, the familiar green screens had been erected around a bed at the far end. Pomphrey bustled back and forth, wand at the ready, her other hand carrying a phial of some potion or other. There were a few heads visible just above the screen. Remus made out Sirius' mop of dark curls immediately and hurried over to join them.

He didn't know if it was a relief or not to see Harry so calm as he lay, sprawled out on the bed.

It was eerie. He almost looked like he could be sleeping, but at the same time, Remus knew that Harry never slept with his arms and legs straight down. There was the faintest pinch between his brows, but other than that he looked relatively calm. Upon seeing him, Sirius latched onto his arm and bowed his head into Remus' neck, dragging in a deep, choked breath.

Remus wrapped an arm tightly around him. "It's alright, Pads, Poppy's great, she'll do all she can."

Sirius clenched his jaw and gave a tight nod, his grip on Remus' arm loosened a little.

Remus looked over his head towards Madame Pomphrey. She was waving her wand over Harry, the tip gleaming a pale blue. Her lips were pursed and the wrinkles around her eyes seemed even more pronounced. "How is he, Poppy?" Remus asked, his voice rasping.

She didn't reply right away. She murmured a few more incantations before straightening up and twisted her wand once final time. The light went out. Turning her watery blue eyes to Remus, she cleared her throat. "It is as we've feared. Harry regained his memories from the battle of Hogwarts when he -w-when he …"

"-When he died," Sirius growled.

Pomphrey nodded tightly. "Yes. According to my diagnostics, his heart appeared to have stopped for a minute or two, before he came here."

Remus felt Sirius stiffen against his chest, his breathing becoming more ragged to his ears.

"His magical core has depleted severely. I've induced a coma so that his core can begin to recover but it may take several days," she clenched her jaw a couple of times, trying to work her mouth around the words. "We may not know the extent of the damage to his magic, or indeed his brain, until he wakes up."

Remus was barely holding himself together as the words sank in. He was too busy trying to keep himself upright, to keeping Sirius upright, but there was no denying the anguish of it all as a raw, guttural wail echoed through his chest as Sirius quaked in his arms. He felt his own eyes water as Sirius choked on the noise scratching his throat raw, his knees weakening beneath him.

"This is all my fault …"

"No, Pads, don't say that."

Sirius shoved him roughly, his face a wet, blotchy mask of rage. "Of course, this is my fault, Remus! I helped him do this! I let him talk me into it! I tried to be good and help him however possible, but I should have just been a parent to him! I should have told him 'no'!"

"Sirius, you cannot blame yourself for this!" Remus barked. He grabbed Sirius' arms and levelled his gaze at the shorter man. "You have been nothing but an amazing father to Harry, yes the methods were not orthodox, and I definitely feel like he should have gotten professional help, but you have done your best, Sirius."

"My best?" he scoffed. "My best? Look at him, Remus! MY BEST WAS CLEARLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

"Enough!" Pomphrey snapped, her voice cracking like a whip through their argument. Both men shut up immediately, turning to look at her, chests heaving. "This is an infirmary, not a place for your childish antics. You'd think after twenty years you'd have learned to resolve your issues quieter!"

Remus bowed his head. Sirius turned with a huff and clawed a hand through his dark curls.

"Now, if you want to hash this out, then be my guest and go somewhere else. I shall keep an eye on Harry and send a patronus if there are any changes."

"Do you think we need to alert Mungo's?" Remus asked.

Pomphrey sighed, her shoulders sagging. "It's too early to tell. I'll evaluate him for a couple of hours. I'll send up a ward around the door, as well, to keep away any reporters. We cannot let this get leaked to the press."

Sirius stalked towards the door with a barely concealed growl. Remus cast one last look at Harry, before he went off after Sirius. After a moment, he turned back to Pomphrey. "Draco and his mother are outside. Would it be okay for them to sit in with him?" At her hard gaze he added, "I just … don't want him to be alone."

Her look thawed and she nodded. "Of course."

On his way out of the infirmary, Remus closed the door behind him and cleared his throat to get Narcissa and Draco's attention. Draco's head shot up, his eyes red and bloodshot, his hair in disarray from where he'd been clawing at it.

"How -how is he?" he rasped; his voice rough.

Remus pressed his lips together. "Madame Pomphrey has sedated him and is trying to stabilise his magical core. He almost depleted his reserves as he suffered as his body went through his …" he trailed off, his eyes darting briefly to Narcissa's appointed auror.

Draco swallowed, knowing what Remus was referring to. "A-and? What does his recovery look like?"

Remus was doing everything in his power to keep his emotions under control. He could feel his veins throbbing as he tried to keep his own magic in check. "Pomphrey isn't sure. He is in a magically induced coma. His body needs time to heal. She -she said you can go and sit with him? If you like?"

Draco shot a look at the door, the remnants of colour draining from his face. "I … s-should I?"

Remus took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "He could want you at his side, as he would be for you."

Steeling himself, the blonde cast a look at his surrogate father, then his mother, before squaring his shoulders and turning the handle to enter the Wing. Narcissa watched him go, her own face pale and drawn.

"Do you think he should be in there alone?" she asked quietly.

"Who's to say?" Remus sighed. "I'm sure if he requires company, he will ask for it. Now, I must go and find that infernal cousin of yours before he levels the castle."

"I think I saw him heading towards the dungeons."

Remus frowned for a moment, trying to think of why Sirius would go down there. Then he remembered, the kitchens. "Thank you, Narcissa."

Working his way back towards the Entrance hall, he was almost floored by the sheer volume of the graduates and their families enjoying the refreshments provided before the evening celebratory feast. Remus felt queasy; he doubted any of them would want to face food come nightfall. Turning the corner, he made his way down a spiral staircase towards the dungeons. The temperature dropped.

He found Sirius sequestered in an alcove just around the corner from the kitchens. The wall of heat emanating from behind the portrait was almost suffocating. Remus hurried past it until he saw Sirius' form slumped awkwardly against a the stone wall, his expression vacant, his eyes glassy.

Remus slowed his approach, not wanting to startle Sirius. He leaned against the rounded corner and looked down at the man crouched in the shadows. "You'll get sick, sitting on the cold floor like that."

Sirius didn't react.

Remus sighed, squeezing into the alcove and wriggling down so that he was pressed in between Sirius and the wall. It was a lot snugger compared to when they'd both been teenagers, when Remus had burned all extra fat every full moon and Sirius went almost every summer being starved as a punishment. Remus drew his knees up and laid his arms across them. Tucked away in this little alcove, the rest of the world didn't exist. It was just them, ensconced between the stone walls, barely any torchlight illuminating them, and the soft sound of their breathing filling the silence.

Time slipped away from them, even though it couldn't have been more than ten minutes.

Finally, Remus cleared his throat. "You know, we can't hide away down here forever?"

Sirius exhaled in a huff. "Why not?"

"Because Harry is going to need his dad."

Silence. "Pity he hasn't got one of those," Sirius intoned.

Remus swallowed against the emotions clogging his throat. "What are you talking about? You've been an amazing dad to Harry these last eighteen months."

"Hardly matters."

"We knew something like this could happen."

"Not to put him in a coma, Moony!" Sirius snapped, whipping around to glare at Remus.

Remus tipped his head sideways to lean on the wall, staring down into Sirius' eyes. He was thrumming with too many emotions, beating against Remus like a wave against rocks. "Sirius, you cannot keep blaming yourself. As parents we're always going to face problems that we can't always tackle head-on and need to recalibrate for."

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes, dropping his head onto his knees.

Remus frowned, taking pity on him. He leaned forward so that their shoulders brushed. "Sirius … James would need a breather right now, too. So would Lily. You cannot hope to be strong all the time. You're not invincible."

"Don't talk as though you'd know how James would cope right now."

"I know he'd be overwhelmed. Distressed. Feeling powerless to help his only child. Putting all his hope and faith into one medi-witch's capabilities. He would probably need some quiet time to let his thoughts settle."

Sirius didn't respond.

Remus nudged him gently, before tipping his head to rest on Sirius' shoulder. "Talk to me, Pads."

A trembling breath came through the silence. "What if he doesn't forgive me?"

Frowning he asked, "Who, Harry?"

"No. James." Sirius peered up through his raggedy curls, his grey eyes shining in the low light. "What if I die and James yells at me for the end of time about how I let Harry be reckless and put himself into a coma, all because I felt bad?!"

Remus tried to find the comforting words, the soothing tone that was going to calm Sirius' erratic mind swirling like a hurricane in a compact space. Instead, what came out was, "'If' you die?"

They held each other's gaze for a moment, before Sirius' face split into a painful looking smile and maniacal laughter rang out against the stone. A tear raced down the side of his face. He cuffed it, shoulders trembling, nudging Remus as he fought to keep a straight face. Somehow it felt wrong to be laughing right now, but that just put even more strain on his aching cheeks.

Unable to restrain himself, he joined Sirius in his laughter.

Choking back on hysterical sobs, Sirius cuffed at his eyes, making his eyes and cheeks redder than they were before. He tried to draw in deep breaths to calm himself, but it was a losing battle. Beside him, Remus' own laughter petered out and he slumped back against the wall, feeling a weight shift from his chest. Sirius hiccoughed before leaning back, tipping his head sideways to lean against Remus' shoulder. They stretched their legs out, Remus having to bend at the knee as his legs were far longer.

Sirius nudged his foot against Remus'. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

"You're a great dad, y'know?"

"Yes. You're pretty wonderful too."

"You'd make a wonderful husband."

Remus snorted. "You'd make an even better wife."

Sirius let out a loud laugh. "Only on special occasions, Moons."

Reaching down between them, he took Sirius' hands in his own and laced their fingers together. "You feeling better?"

"A little."

"What to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"That's okay, too." Remus pressed a lingering kiss to Sirius' mop of curls. "You know I'm here for you whether you want to talk or not, right?"

"That's what makes you the best."

"Says you."

"So, say's 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'."

"Only because you and James defaced the only copy in the library during sixth year!"

Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes.

Remus sobered almost instantly, a heavy weight settling in his chest. He felt sick with nerves and wanted desperately to crowd against Sirius' chest and have him run his fingers through his hair, or vice versa, but he didn't dare move. He was too afraid to shatter this fragile light-hearted moment they'd landed in.

"I can't lose him, Rem," Sirius breathed, his words almost lost over the drumming of Remus' heartbeat.

"You're not going to lose him," Remus vowed, locking their fingers together.

"How can you say that with such conviction?"

"Because that boy is the most stubborn person I've ever met -yes, that does include you! -and I know he's going to pull through this. We just need to give him the time and patience he deserves. He deserves to be still for a bit, to be in the quiet, to relax and recuperate."

Sirius worked his jaw back and forth, giving a shaky nod.

Remus tipped his head to lean against Sirius'. "Do you want to go and get something to eat in the kitchens?"

"Not really hungry, right now."

"What about going back up to sit with Harry?"

"Draco's in there. He needs to have some time with Harry, too."

Remus worried his bottom lip. "What do you want to do then? We can't sit around in here all night."

Sirius groaned and knocked his head against the stone wall. "I don't know! I just -I want to do nothing, yet I know I'll feel guilty if I try and relax when Harry is struggling upstairs in the infirmary."

"Sirius, you're allowed to take some time for yourself."

"But what if something happens and I'm not there?!"

"Well … we're not there right now. What's the difference between being down here and going to our chambers for a quick nap?"

Sirius didn't have anything to say. He dropped his chin onto his folded knees and stared off into the middle distance. Remus wound an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him close. Sirius leaned into the touch. A shudder ran through him and it broke Remus' heart. He felt tears prick hotly at his eyes, but he blinked them away, refusing to let them fall.

"Come on," he urged gently, climbing to his feet. His knees creaking. He tugged on Sirius' hand. "Let's go and have a lie-down for an hour. We can set an alarm and head back down to check-in on Harry, okay?"

Finally, Sirius seemed to give in and allowed himself to be pulled up to his feet. He leaned heavily against Remus as the taller man wound his arm around Sirius' shoulders and guided him towards the top of the dungeons and up into the Entrance Hall. The quiet bubble around them was immediately disturbed by the sounds of levity coming from the Great Hall. Remus felt his partner tense instantly, but he held firm and steered Sirius towards the grand staircase.

The walk to their combined chambers passed by in a familiar blur.

Remus didn't bother lighting the torches or the fire. The rooms were plenty warm enough without them. Sirius moved as though in a daze, allowing Remus to ease him down onto the four poster bed, wriggle his shoes and robes off before easing him down onto the pillows. Remus toed his own shows off and slung his robes on the back of the door, before climbing in behind Sirius and spooning him, slinging an arm over his waist and hugging him close.

For a brief moment, Remus thought that Sirius had gone to sleep. However, as his own eyelids started to grow heavy, he felt Sirius drag his arm tighter around his chest, heaved out a wet sob and shook with emotion.

"If you wake up before me, go and be with him."

"I will," Remus vowed, pressing a kiss to his partner's neck. "Just try and sleep now, love."

Giving a shaky nod, Sirius wriggled back and burrowed down into the pillows.

Remus threaded his fingers through Sirius' dark curls, over and over, until he felt his partner's body go slack with sleep. Heaving a sigh, Remus buried his nose in the curls and tried to keep the worry at bay so he could slip into oblivion.

~0~

The infirmary was silent. The sun was slinking lower in the sky, painting peach and pink patterns across the vaulted ceilings and old stonework. Madame Pomphrey had done all she could and had briskly marched away about half an hour ago. Draco saw in the chair pulled right up to Harry's bedside. He'd given up on sitting with perfect posture after Pomphrey had left them alone. He had a knee pulled up to his chest, his tie was loosened, and his hair was in disarray from where he'd been combing his fingers through it over and over. His hand was fisted under his chin, his eyes staring unblinking at Harry's docile features.

It was unnerving seeing him so still, after all the mornings he'd woken up to see Harry sprawled across his bed, his arms and legs bent in weird positions, his jaw slack and drooling on the spare pillow. What he wouldn't give to wake up tomorrow to see that. His stomach swooped painfully at the notion that he wouldn't, perhaps never would again. A fresh onset of tears burned his eyes pink. He let them fall, not even bothering to swipe them away. There was no one here to see him, anyway.

Once upon a time, he would have been seething at Harry Potter causing a 'scene' during his hard-earned graduation ceremony. However, that snobbish little twerp was crushed down in the back of Draco's mind. All he wanted to do was climb up on the bed and hold Harry close. He settled for taking one of Harry's hands in his own, stroking his thumb along the knuckles.

The white scars lancing across his pale skin felt bumpy under his thumb. 'I MUST NOT TELL LIES'. He squeezed his eyes shut, memories of fifth year rushing through his mind like a tidal wave. That had been the year everything had unravelled at the seams, the year he had tried so desperately to please his father, to show he was worthy of the praise, the year that He had started to live in his house.

Yet, he'd gotten an insight into just how trying that year had been for Harry, too.

As for Sirius, well …

A hollowness yawned in his aching chest, spreading like ink in water. Hunching over on the side of the bed, he curled his free arm under his head so that he could look up and watch Harry's chest rise and fall with each breath. It was a tentative comfort at best. He had no idea how he was expected to sleep through the night, but he knew he needed to try. As he continued to stroke Harry's slack hand, his signet ring caught in the dying daylight. It was made of pure platinum and had belonged to his ancestor, Armand Malfoy, the man who had established Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire. It was an honour to be allowed to own, let alone wear, such an heirloom.

Harry didn't appear to own any jewellery. The Potter family were old-money, surely there were some items buried in their vaults? Biting on his bottom lip, Draco heaved a sigh. He doubted Harry had even explored his own vaults, extensive as they might be. Maybe that could be something to do when he woke up.

Scenarios drifted through his fatigued mind, his eyelids growing heavy, as he imagined what Christmas could have been like -would they have exchanged proper presents this year? Would they have shared a kiss under the mistletoe? -how would they have celebrated Sirius' birthday? Would they have helped Remus arrange a surprise party? Would they have all gone to the Burrow for New Years Eve? Would his Mother have come to join? Would she even be allowed to come back into the UK on such a busy day?

Drawing in a shuddering breath, he let a tear fall off his cheek and soak into the bedclothes.

He needed all of that. As selfish as it was, he needed happy memories to look forward to. He needed to strive for contentment, to being able to wake up without an oppressive weight on his chest belying the miseries awaiting him. Waking up beside Harry always made him feel lighter, even if the rest of the day was a test of his patience, climbing into the bed with Harry at the end of the day was enough to ease the tension crippling his skeleton.

"Wake up, scarhead," he pleaded, squeezing Harry's hand. "Just for a moment, so I know you're okay."

Silence.

"Harry … please … don't leave me …"

The monitoring spell casting a faint blue auror around Harry didn't alter.

Draco let his eyes fall closed, exhaustion finally taking hold and pulling him under.

A/N: So what did you guys think? X