The time had come for Sun Jian, Cao Cao and Liu Bei to strike out on their own, and they seized the opportunity with both hands. Well, I tell a lie; Cao Cao was rather over-confident and thought that only one hand was needed to grasp this opportunity. However, I am not about to confuse you with the complications of his actions, or for that matter, what on Earth I mean by that. We are far more interested in Sun Jian and his family.
"Daddy?" Seven-year-old Sun Shang Xiang tugged at her father's sleeve. "Daddy!"
"Yes, sweetie?"
The little girl pouted. "Ce won't let me play with him, and Quan's being boring!"
Sun Jian patted her on the head. He always did show particular affection for his only daughter. "Don't worry Shang sweetie, I'll make sure nasty old Ce does what he's told." He turned and walked up a flight of stairs, Shang Xiang tottering after him, having trouble keeping up with his long strides. "CE! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"
Just down the corridor, Sun Ce and his best friend Zhou Yu were walking along, going to try and convince Huang Gai to make the combat training sessions for the Sun children slightly later in the morning, or at least not 4am.
"CE! GET OVER HERE!"
Zhou Yu smirked. "That'll be your father, annoyed that you denied Shang Xiang the right to play with you. I did warn you."
"Shut up, Yu."
"It's your own fault."
"CE!"
"Coming, Dad!" the fifteen-year-old muttered and strode down the hallway to Jian.
Sun Jian folded his arms and tapped his foot on the stone floor. "Ce. Why did you not allow your little sister to join in?"
Ce glared at Shang Xiang. "Telltale." He whispered. His sister stuck her tongue out at him.
"Ce?"
He looked up. "Ah…. Errr…Ummm"
Zhou Yu walked down the hall towards them and interrupted. "Forgive us, Lord Sun Jian, but Ce and I were merely advising little Lady Sun here that perhaps Sun Quan would be of more interest to her. Completing a written test set by Lord Huang Gai is probably not her idea of fun. However, she could join us if she pleases."
There was a momentary silence as everyone processed what Zhou Yu had just said. Not that they were stupid, but conversations in the Sun family household usually consisted of yelled short phrases and barked words, so whenever Zhou Yu spoke it took everyone a while to adjust to the fact that he was actually making sense.
"Ah, yes. Ummm, of course…" Sun Jian muttered, still not quite sure what Yu had meant.
Shang Xiang beamed. "Ya mean… I can come play with you guys?"
"Umm… yes, I suppose, Lady Sun."
"Yay!" Shang Xiang hugged him, let go, walked over to her brother and kicked him in the shin. "See? Zhou Yu would be a good big brother! You're useless!"
"Ow!" Sun Ce rubbed his shin. "Dad! Shang kicked me!"
"Oh, c'mon Ce! You're eight years older than her! You should be able to fend for yourself!" Jian scolded. Shang stuck her tongue out at her elder brother. Ce groaned.
"Yes. Father is right." Quan stepped over to them. "Anyway, don't you think that Shang Xiang deserves attention from her older brother?"
"Oh, gimme a break! I mean-"
Zhou Yu stooped down slightly and whispered something to Sun Shang Xiang.
Shang Xiang frowned. "Qua-an… you didn't let me play with you either… you said that I was an annoying little brat and that I should go play with Sun Ce."
Quan turned crimson. Ce grinned. "Soo, the truth comes out…"
"Wha- no! I said nothing of the sort! Father, Shang Xiang is lying!" Sun Quan blustered.
Sun Jian rounded on the middle child. "How dare you accuse your little sister of such a thing! Come with me, young man." He placed a hand on Quan's back and steered him away.
Ce sighed in relief. "Hey, Shang, did Quan really say that?"
"No." Replied Shang Xiang and Yu in unison. Ce looked at his best friend, mystified. "How do you know what Quan said? You weren't there."
"He knows 'cos he told me to say that!" Sun Shang Xiang piped up.
A few hours later, Ce was sitting on his bed, fiddling with a statue of a tiger (and not just any old tiger. Cough cough, wink wink, nudge nudge. … ME! Okay? Thank you) while Zhou Yu finished off Ce's test paper for him. Shang Xiang was asleep on the bed. Zhou Yu placed his brush down. "There. Finished. Lazybones."
Ce jumped up and snatched the paper from the desk. "Ha! Thanks Yu! Huang Gai'll give me top marks!"
"Assuming I gave the correct answers."
"Of course you did, you always do."
"Ah, but what if I purposefully put down the incorrect answers so Huang Gai thinks you're completely incapable of fighting in an actual battle?"
"Then I shall kill you."
"But you won't be able to, being completely incapable of fighting." Zhou Yu smirked as his friend glared at him.
"Shut up."
"That the best response you can come up with?"
There was a pause. "…Yes."
"No! You can't make me! Never! No, no, no, no, no!"
Yu and Ce looked up. Shang Xiang was tossing and turning, muttering in her dreams. "No! I don't want to!"
Zhou Yu stood up and walked towards her. "Ummm, Lady Sun? Are you okay?"
Shang Xiang woke up with a jolt. Zhou Yu leapt back. The little girl's eyes widened. "No! You are NOT gonna make me! I am NEVER gonna take my play sword away!"
Zhou Yu frowned. "Ah, no-one is trying to do anything like that…"
Ce snorted. "Shang… wake up."
Ahem. I shall interrupt now. I couldn't wait much longer, sorry. Anyway, that is just a taster of what Sun family life was like. In the beginning. Believe me when I say this: It gets worse. Much worse. Or much better, depending on how you look at it. And this is what I lived through. Well, when I say I lived… well, I was… and still am, alive… kind of… in a way… well, at least I wasn't dead. I dunno. It's confusing. Go ask Fong Huang about it. No! Don't! Stay here! Thank you. So, as I was saying… umm, what was I saying? I'll just shut up.
A few days after the aforementioned events, Sun Jian heard rumours of the Imperial Seal being in a village, I forget where, and so set off to find it. And he did. Down a well. But it wasn't quite what he was expecting…
"Sir! Lord Sun Jian!"
"Yes? Spit it out!"
"Well…" The messenger looked nervously at his lord. "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"
"The good news?"
"We have found the Imperial Seal!"
Sun Jian cheered and hi-fived Huang Gai. "Haha!"
Huang Gai's grin faded from his face, to be replaced by his customary frown. "And the bad news…?"
"… It's… a … a seal."
Jian rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. That is why it is called the Imperial Seal!"
"Sir, you don't understand…"
"I understand perfectly well. Are you questioning your lord's intelligence?"
""No, my lord… but… look." He gestured to something. Gai and Jian craned in to look…
A small grey seal flopped into view. The kind of seal that lies around on beaches. Sun Jian and Huang Gai stared. The messenger sighed.
"I hate to say I told you so-"
"Then don't."
"Urp!"
Sun Jian slapped his own forehead. "Right. Well this was a disaster. Let's just… go home."
So, the army, disappointed, trudged home. Well, they began the journey home. But they barely took a few steps before…
"I WANT THE SEAL!"
The sound of horses' hooves pounding the ground reached the ears of every soldier there. Except the deaf ones, or the ones that weren't listening of course.
"What?" Sun Jian said, "He wants the seal?"
Liu Biao galloped into view. "Yes. Why do you look so surprised?"
"Umm… nothing… nothing at all. Anyway-"
"I will fight you for it! ARMY, CHARGE!"
"ARRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cheered Liu Bei's army, charging forward.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Sun Jian's army, running away.
"DADDY!"
Sun Shang Xiang ran over to her father and threw her tiny arms around him.
"Shang Xiang!"
Ce and Quan stood behind their sister expectantly. "Well?"
Sun Jian groaned. "It was a catastrophe."
"Did you get the seal?"
"Oh, yes."
"So what's the problem?"
"Oh nothing. JUST THE FACT IT'S A SEAL!"
Ce, Quan and even little Shang Xiang exchanged glances.
"Errr…" Sun Ce said hesitantly, "D'you want to come and have a lie down, Dad?"
"NO! HUANG GAI! SHOW THEM!"
Huang Gai grimaced and removed the seal from its cart, placing it in front of the Sun children.
"Oh."
"-and then he just ordered his army to attack us!" Sun Jian blinked. "Hold on. He attacked us!
Huang Gai sighed.
I did too.
"Dad, this is stupid."
"Erm… Ce has a point…"
"ZIP IT! Wait… what's a zip?"
Yu and Ce looked exasperatedly at each other.
"Lord Sun Jian. We don't have to attack him. We have the seal."
"Are you questioning my intelligence?"
"No… but-"
"ZIP IT THEN! And tell me what a zip is."
"I don't know."
"I TOLD YOU TO ZIP IT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"
Jian stormed off.
"Huang Zu. It is up to you to defeat Sun Jian."
Huang Zu saluted. "Yes sir."
"Don't call me sir."
"But it's polite."
"No it is not! It is extremely rude."
"Okay…"
"Okay sir"
"Why are you calling me sir, sir?"
"I'm not! I'm correcting you. AND DON'T CALL ME SIR!"
Huang Zu backed away. Veerry slowly.
"…Call me Supreme Master of the Universe and Beyond and Beyond Beyond as well."
"HA!" Sun Jian said with a triumphant grin. "I beat you, Huang Zu. I WIN!"
"Yes..."
"I AM ALL-POWERFUL! NO-ONE CAN STOP ME!"
"Whatever you say, Lord Sun Jian…"
"YES! WHATEVER I SAY. AND I SAY I WANT A DRINK. I'm thirsty."
"Erm, Dad…"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"
"Dad?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"
"DAD!"
"Hmm? Yes Ce?"
"… That's not Huang Zu."
"What?"
The private stood up and dusted himself down. He glared at Sun Jian and walked off.
Huang Zu strode purposefully into the battlefield-
-and was knocked over by a horse.
Sun Jian's horse
A blue, semi-transparent bar appeared in front of Sun Jian's vision.
Huang Zu has been defeated by Sun Jian!
"Ooooh!" He oooohed.
Huang Zu heaved himself off the ground. And ran off towards the Han River.
Huang Zu is retreating across the river!
"Ooooooooooh!"
Sun Jian pursued him across the river.
Tension filled the entire battlefield. An icy chill swept over Jingzhou. Time seemed to come to a halt…
…And sprinted back with the logs that were rolling down the hill towards Sun Jian. I realised what was happening. I tore down the hill at supernatural speed.
There was a loud crash. Then silence. I was too late. Supernatural speed wasn't fast enough.
I sat next to the pile of wood that buried Sun Jian. Spirits can't cry, but if we could, I would have done.
I heard the sound of footsteps. I retreated into the shadows.
"DAD!" Sun Ce yelled, "NO!"
I, the guardian spirit of Wu, had failed to protect Wu's leader. I bowed my head in shame.
"I don't believe it. This can't be happening."
"…I'm not going to be the one to tell Shang Xiang." Yu muttered.
"Lord Sun Ce? Lord Zhou Yu?" Huang Gai strode over. "I think we should go."
"But…" Ce started.
"The battle's lost." Huang Gai laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. Not a nice memory of a first battle, is it?"
That was how the demise of Sun Jian, father of Wu, happened. I couldn't help feeling that it was all my fault.
Awww... I've made myself all depressed now :p.
Hope you liked it!