A/N: I'm stretching the Secret Santa theme a little bit on this one, I admit, but I'll be honest, I don't really care, because I like how it turned out anyway and hope anyone who reads it will feel the same ;) It's set in the finale movie, but with a difference, as you will soon see. Well, it had to have really, didn't it? :)
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters and any recognisable dialogue from Timeless belongs to Shawn Ryan, Eric Kripke, and other folks who aren't me.
The Secret Santa Series XIV: Lucy & Flynn
It was never going to be a merry Christmas, not after everything. Of course, it was a victory, to have gotten Rufus back, to have beaten Rittenhouse. It was what they all wanted, but it came at a price.
Wyatt had lost Jessica for the second time, and more besides. Though apparently their child never had existed, he had believed it. Now he was essentially alone in the world, just like Lucy, but like she told him in Korea when the end seemed guaranteed, that was no reason to turn to each other again.
She loved him, there was no doubt about that. She believed he loved her too, but it wasn't the right kind of love that led to marriage and happily ever after. The things they had been through, it joined them all together. The kind of family that didn't need blood to bind them, because they had everything else instead. For the rest of her life, Lucy knew she would think of these people as brothers, sisters, parents even, in some cases. They were all she had now, except one of them was missing.
"Hey, how are you doing?" said Denise, breaking away from the Christmas scene to come sit by Lucy in her own quiet corner.
"I'm okay," she told her, forcing a smile. "I mean, you know, I'm here. I'm glad Rittenhouse are gone, I just..."
"I know." Denise nodded, putting her arm around Lucy's shoulders and giving her a squeeze.
Nobody needed to say the words, the meaning was clear. Of all people, Lucy knew that the mother of their team understood well enough. If anyone had noticed what was developing between the historian and their former enemy, it would be her.
"I wasn't sure whether I should give this to you, in the circumstances," said Denise then, glancing back over her shoulder to where she had left the rest of the team, "but since we're not going to see so much of each other after this..."
She pulled a package from some pocket or other - it was hard to tell exactly what she was wearing or carrying under the ridiculous Christmas sweater - and placed it into Lucy's shaking hands.
"I don't understand," she said, frowning at the wrinkled brown paper and haphazard ribbon on the small parcel.
"When we were decorating, I stumbled across it," said Denise, smiling slightly. "I'm no handwriting expert, but if I had to guess..." she trailed off, gesturing for Lucy to flip the package over.
There on what was supposed to be the front of it, one word was written in large, flowing letters. Not a word, a name.
"Flynn," said Lucy softly, her fingers tracing the letters of her own name in his hand.
A part of her wanted to throw it and run, terrified of what she was going to find beneath the paper, more scared of what whatever it was would make her face and feel. The larger part just had to know. The curiosity would kill her if she let it. Besides, she owed him this. After all that he sacrificed for her, for the team, for the world, she owed it to him to accept whatever gift he left for her.
Tearing open the paper, she saw a note first, lying on top of a book. Opening that note, she read aloud, though her voice threatened to break with emotion on every word.
"'My dear Lucy. Merry Christmas. It isn't easy to shop for gifts when you live in a bunker, so I had to improvise. This seemed the fairest trade I could offer you, after everything. I hope it helps somehow.'"
Her eyes shifted from that short message to the leather-bound book clutched in her other hand. A journal, not dissimilar to her own. His journal, in trade for that same one she once gave him.
"It almost sounds as if he knew he wasn't coming back," said Denise, shaking her head slightly, "but he couldn't have, could he?"
Lucy swallowed hard before she answered. "I honestly don't know anymore," she admitted, the throbbing in her head still ever-present, as it had been for days now, since before Flynn left them behind. "Thank you, for not keeping this from me," she told Denise then.
Her friend only smiled slightly and nodded her head, as Lucy rose to her feet and swiftly walked away. She meant no disrespect to Denise, she just didn't want the company right now. If she was going to read this journal Flynn had left her, then she wanted to be alone. Alone with him, in the only way that she could be now.
He had always been the easiest of them all to talk to, but as she sat down to read all his thoughts and feelings, spread across the pages of the journal, she found he was the hardest to listen to. In her head, she heard each entry in his voice as she read, most almost too painful to bear, but she knew she must.
'You owe him this,' she reminded herself several times, as she read page after page.
Today I met Lucy in person for the second time, the first from her perspective. She didn't believe me, or at least, she said she didn't. I can't exactly blame her for being scared. I am terrified myself, every moment. In time, I hope we will find a way together. Something in her eyes tonight gave me that hope. I have to hang on to it...
...and I know what they will all think, what Lucy will think. I never wanted Anthony to die. Though I have threatened his life, I would like to believe we both knew I would never have gone through with it, not unless he gave me no choice. If only he had been a little stronger, but a good man can only take so much...
...telling Lucy, I prayed to God for answers and he led me to that place, to that moment. I could never have guessed her words, though the meaning of them resonated somewhere deep in my soul. 'What if he led you to me?' It has been many weeks and months now since I began to wonder. Perhaps he did lead me to her. Perhaps she truly is my destiny and my saviour, though I hate myself for considering it. How can I betray Lorena's memory and my sweet Iris...
...that maybe it was always supposed to be this way. Maybe those parts of Lucy's journal that seemed so outlandish before were not so far off. I see her with Wyatt and something in me breaks each time, but tonight, when she came to my room, even in all her sadness and pain, she was the most beautiful sight to my eyes. We only talked, and drank a little vodka, until she fell asleep. If only she could always find as much peace as she has right now...
...I cannot understand how the situation will ever resolve, but I also cannot lose hope. For as long as Lucy is here, I will hold on, no matter what. My love for her can sustain me, even if it is of no use to her right now...
She could hardly bear to keep on reading after that, the tears in her eyes ensuring she couldn't, even if she had wanted to try. Reading of how much pain and torment Flynn had gone through. Some of it, Lucy had known well enough. She shared the agony of losing those she loved most because of Rittenhouse. They talked about it often enough, maybe even too much sometimes. This was different. Knowing the agonies she had caused him herself, it cut her to the quick.
His letter had meant so much to her, but now, reading this journal, knowing how long he had cared for her, how much he had struggled in the past months and years, it was almost too much. She knew some of it, the little that he shared in their private conversations. Mostly he would just listen to her problems, her worries and fears. No wonder he thought he knew her better than she knew herself, sometimes. Still, he was wrong on that score. If he knew her at all, he would've come back. He never would've lost that hope she apparently helped him hold onto for so long.
It didn't take long for Lucy to realise what she had to do. Leaping up from the bed, she rushed out of the door, right back to the main room where everyone was gathered. There was a semblance of a happy Christmas atmosphere there, but she barely noticed it, barely gave it a second's thought. There was something much more important on her mind.
"I need to make one more trip," she said, so loud it couldn't have been misinterpreted, and yet every face showed confusion, as all eyes came to settle on her face.
"Lucy..." Rufus began to say, but she immediately shook her head at him.
"I need to do this," she insisted, gaze shifting around her circle of friends, of family. "After everything we've been through, what we've finally achieved in ending Rittenhouse. Mason, Wyatt, you said Flynn would be proud," she reminded then. "Well, maybe he would be, and we absolutely owe him a lot, but he deserves more than a toast and our gratitude and some semblance of pride and achievement," she said with real determination. "He is a hero. We could not have done all that we did without him, and I... I'm not willing to lose anyone else," she said, fighting the emotion that threatened to take her words clean away. "We already sacrificed enough," she forced out, looking pointedly from Wyatt to Rufus and Jiya, before finally letting her gaze settle on Denise again. "I already sacrificed enough," she insisted.
A single nod told her she had an agreement on that.
It hadn't been easy. They knew the time and place they needed to jump back to, almost to the second, but by the time Lucy could get to Flynn he was more than a little incoherent. The effects of travelling within his own timeline had clearly taken their toll, but she held on to hope, just as he had, because surely, they could make it, just this last step.
Getting him into the Lifeboat was tough, watching him struggle to keep consciousness on the journey back was worse. Now, back in the present day, there was still no guarantees of his survival, but Lucy wouldn't give up hope, not ever.
They all tried to tell her to rest, to leave him to recover, that they would all pitch in when it came to keeping watch over their friend and team-mate. Lucy would not be moved from Flynn's side. She only left the chair when she absolutely had to, when her body absolutely demanded nourishment or a bathroom break. The rest of the time, she was there, fastidious and determined.
Of course, she needed sleep, but when it overcame her, at least she was still there with him, her head on the edge of the bed, pillowed on her arms as she allowed herself just a few moments rest. Even then, she dreamed of him. Conjured his voice speaking her name, imagined the feel of his fingers moving through her hair.
"Lucy?"
No, it was real. Her eyes popped open at the realisation that she may actually really have heard her name from his lips, that the pressure on the back of her head was not imagined at all. Hardly daring to believe in miracles, she lifted her head, felt his hand trail down her back as she looked and saw...
"Oh my God!" she gasped. "Oh, my God, Flynn!"
She threw herself into his arms, hugging him tight, no thought for how impractical it was, how confused he might be. It was just such a blessed relief to see him awake, right there with her, where he ought to be.
"You're here. You're back," she softly intoned, even as she pulled back to look at him again, swiping tears from her cheeks, unsure whether she was laughing or crying.
"I went somewhere...?" he checked as his eyes moved over her face and then down to his own arms, his own chest, surveying the damage.
He had some cuts and bruises, Lucy hadn't bothered to wonder how or why, and then she saw him realising there was a tube attached to his hand and a machine monitoring his vitals. It was a hospital bed, albeit not in a hospital. Agent Christopher had an awful lot of pull.
"Oh," he said after a while, a light seeming to dawn in his eyes. "Did it work?" he asked Lucy then, the real Flynn looking at her with clear, open eyes.
Her heart skipped a beat, but she fought to keep focus and answer his question.
"Mostly," she admitted, nodding her head. "You brought Rufus back. We had to do a little more work to defeat Rittenhouse, but in the end, we did it," she told him, a wide smile erupting across her lips. "Thanks to you, we were able to do it. Garcia, you're a hero," she told him giddily, her hand briefly at his cheek.
He looked astounded at first, relieved right after, and then, a strange mixture of happy and sad. Lucy could relate. She had been feeling a lot of that kind of ambiguity in the past few days.
"Am I dreaming?" he asked then, blinking hard as if he hoped to prove it to himself one way or the other. "I never thought I'd hear you say something like that to me again."
"Again?" she asked, shaking her head.
The smile that came to Flynn's lips, even as his eyes blinked painfully slowly, was a sight Lucy was glad to see, even if he was confusing her with his words so far.
"That day when we first met," he said softly. "The time you don't remember, since for you it hasn't happened yet."
"In Sao Paolo?" Lucy checked, wide-eyed with surprise.
Flynn nodded slightly. "You told me I was a hero. For the record, I didn't entirely believe you then."
Still caught between so happy to have him back and so sad to think of all he had been through, both years before and now, Lucy picked up his hand in both of hers and held on tight.
"You do believe me now, don't you?" she said, trying to meet his eyes that seemed almost determined to be closed, though he was obviously fighting it.
"Lucy, why did you...? You could've just left me there," he told her, swallowing hard before he went on. "It would've been easier for you and for Wyatt."
"No, it wouldn't," she insisted, shifting closer, her hand back at his cheek as she urged him to look at her again. "Garcia," she tried when she finally had his full attention back. "I'm not supposed to be with Wyatt," she insisted. "I thought I was, for a long time, but I was wrong. You and me, it's... it's like fate. I know it's awful that we couldn't ever get back the people we lost, but maybe... maybe this is what we have instead. You have me, I have you. Maybe God led us to each other," she tried, revisiting words she so clearly remembered saying to him, in a basement under a Rittenhouse meeting, both a year and more than sixty years ago, all at the same time.
Those same words had been written in the journal he gifted to her, which meant he recalled them too. Even through the haze of his timeline-effected mind, he seemed to understand, and just in case he wasn't getting it, Lucy made one more confession, guaranteed to make her feelings very clear.
"I love you, Garcia," she told him straight. "I really, honestly do."
His eyes fell shut when she spoke those words and yet the smile that curved his lips seemed to prove he had not only heard her but well understood.
"Lucy..." he said as he looked at her then, reaching to pull her into his arms.
She went willingly, ready to accept the kiss he offered her, allowing herself to fall into a moment far too long in the making.
"For the record," he said softly when they finally parted. "I love you too, Lucy. So much."
There were tears in both her eyes and his as they looked at each other, and then, she was diving back in to kiss him again, unable to stop herself now she had started. Lucy couldn't exactly say this Christmas had been a happy one, even though they had brought Rufus back and defeated Rittenhouse, but now, she had Garcia Flynn back in her life. He was telling her he loved her, accepting she felt the same, and Lucy could well believe that next Christmas, and a great many more to come, would be very merry indeed.
The End
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight ;)
(or best wishes for whatever else you celebrate!)