Fanfiction Dot Net presents…
A Tohokari-Steel production…
The Legend of Jaden & the Hook
The island archipelago sprawled throughout the massive ocean. Many travelers went across the watery highways. One such raft carried three people—a man in a jumpsuit and his two robot friends.
"Yeah, way to break your back on the description there," commented the first robot, who looked like a gumball machine.
"Well, is there a way to break the monotony?" asked the man.
"Ooh, ooh, can it be in the form of admitted creative bankruptcy?" asked the other robot, whose mouth resembled a gold bowling pin.
The man chuckled, warmly, before saying. "Of course, CROW."
Mike: Oh we come from a land,
It's a faraway place.
Where the whales and dolphins roam…
CROW: Where you're thirsty and stink,
And there's no water to drink!
Tom: Yes, it sucks,
But hey. It's home.
The three were suddenly hit by water, making Mike sputter and spit, but the other two robot yell as electricity sparkled from it. Mike coughed as CROW groaned.
"Well, THERE'S a way to pep you up," Tom commented.
Tom: When the wind's going east…
CROW: But you wanna go WEST…
Mike: But the narrator says which way is right…
Come on down, stop on by.
CROW: Take any boat and ride…
All Three: To a new islander's night!
They found a large island come into view, covered in lush green and multiple huts. The three yelled as they cleared a wave and fell down.
"Odd tidal pattern for this time of year," Tom commented.
Mike: An islander's night…
Like an islander's day!
CROW: More often than not,
It's wet and real hot…
Tom: And not in the fun way!
"Whoa, careful with that. This is PG-rated," Mike commented.
"You're right, I'm ashamed," Tom said as the shore came into view.
Mike: An islander's night…
Under the islander's moon…
Tom: If you are not scared,
You won't be prepared!
CROW: And you'll be shark food…
The three hopped off their outrigger and looked around. Mike suddenly saw someone reading their story, peering through a computer monitor.
"Hi, everyone, this is Mike Nelson. After the Satellite of Love thing ended, we decided on a vacation," Mike said. "Since we drew straws, CROW wound up picking this—the Lagoon Reef Archipelago."
"Yep! The islands of adventure," CROW said. "Enchantment! Where everyone has a minor in interpretive dance…"
"And the best pina coladas this side of Havana," Tom said. "Also, a ton of stuff to gather and hawk!"
"But most importantly, the origin of THIS," Mike said, taking out a book titled 'Legend of Jaden Official Transcript'. The original title of 'Jaladdin' seemed to have been hastily scribbled out. "Yep, a very old story with a long oral history, passed on by the ancient, noble people known as the 'Rip-Offers'. A name that translates basically as 'we enjoy swiping Disney's material'."
"It's a tradition that goes back centuries," CROW nodded, eagerly.
"Yes, it looks like a pile of hot garbage," Tom commented. "But it's not on the outside, but what's on the INSIDE that counts."
"It's about a young man and his friends who, like this book, were far more than what they seemed," Mike said.
"A treasure in the tide, if you will," Tom nodded.
"Ooh-ooh! Tell us the story, Mike! Tell us the story," CROW said.
"Yes, Mike! Please tell us the story," Tom said. "I promise I won't steal your yam collection again!"
"Well, if you…wait, you stole my yam collection?" Mike asked, incredulously. He then looked at the reader. "What about YOU, folks at home? Do you wanna hear the story?" the camera nodded. "Okay then! Lemme start us off, then!"
He then cleared his throat and began to read.
Chapter 1
The Treasure in the Tides
"Well, still better than half the other fanmake names out there," Tom commented.
It began on a dark night. On a tidal island somewhere in the farthest part of the Lagoon Reef Islands, a dark man waited. With a dark purpose.
"This isn't redundant, only repetitive," CROW commented.
"Okay, you wanna listen or do you wanna riff? 'Cuz in this fanmake, you can't do BOTH," Mike said.
"Sorry, Mike," CROW said, apologetically.
"We'll listen," Tom agreed.
The figure wore a dark outfit and had a black cloak covering his head, obscuring his face in shadow. A boat came to a halt as a man walked out, wearing a white lab coat. He had a hooked nose and a patch of brown hair on the tip of his head.
"You are late," said the cloaked figure.
"Sorry, boss, but have you TRIED finding this place on a map?" the other man said, annoyed. "I mean, what even IS a tidal island? I had to look that up on the Internet. I mean, I didn't know it was an island that's occasionally underwater. Then I had to deal with my nemesis, Perry the Platypus and, y'know, when he comes to foil your scheme, you can't just reschedule. It's just a whole—"
"I don't want to hear it, Doofenshmirtz," the cloaked man snapped, holding up his hand. "Do you have it?"
"I got it, I got it, don't worry," Doofenshmirtz said, reaching into his coat. He then pulled out a small piece of circular, carved jade. "I got it! Guy tried ripping me off, but I still got it at a bargain deal!"
"Good," the man said, taking it from Doofenshmirtz. "It brings us one step closer to our final goal…"
"Yes, yes! Our goal! Our super-EVIL goal," Doofenshmirtz snickered, wringing his hands eagerly. "Then we shall dominate the Tri-Island Area!"
"You always think too small, my friend," the cloaked man said, taking the piece of jade and reuniting it with another. It then began to glow brightly before a beam of green light burst from it. The light flowed out and hit an archway at the shore. With that, the cloaked man began reading off a slip of paper. He had done great and terrible things to obtain it, but now, all of his work was about to pay off. "On the island that disappears…the Den of Tides…shall make thieves…tremble with fear. But only with the light of green…can the greatest power hope to be seen."
With that, the sea began to bubble and roil as something seemed to be emerging from the deepest of the depths. A large, serpentine head erupted from the water and opened its mouth wide. The two men looked at this in awe.
"At last…after all these years of searching," the cloaked man said. "The Den of Tides…"
"Wow…and to think, not even my Find-It-Now-Inator could find it. All we needed was a green flashlight," Doofenshmirtz said, looking amazed.
"Did you bring it, too?" The cloaked man asked.
"Of course, what kind of evil genius would I be without it?" Doofenshmirtz asked. He pushed a button and, with a flash of light, a towering figure occurred.
"Hello, I am Norm, the Mechanical Man," said the large robot who was apparently designed with 'ideal 1950's man' in mind. "Is there something you require me for, father?"
"I told you to stop calling me that," Doofenshmirtz muttered.
"Now, automaton," the cloaked man said, harshly. "Bring me the hook. Anything else you want is yours, but the hook belongs to ME."
"Okie doke, I'll have it in a jiffy," Norm said before walking towards the serpentine skull.
"So, you're asking for my robot…why, exactly?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
"There was some scribblings about a heart. An artificial being might be able to circumvent it," the cloaked man said.
Norm slowly approached the cave, but before he could take a single step inside, the cave bellowed, sending the robot clunking back. Then, the cave's entrance spoke. "Who disturbs my waters?"
"Hi, I am Norm, the Robotic Man developed by Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz to conquer the Tri-Island Area," Norm replied, enthusiastically.
"Know this," the cave spoke. "Those who are allowed in are the ones whose value is not so clear—the Treasure in the Tides…"
"That is very interesting," Norm said before casually walking in.
This was, apparently, the wrong move. Since the cave let out an angered roar. Norm immediately turned to leave just as the cave slammed its jaws shut.
"NO!" the cloaked man said as his cloak was blown away from the force of the blow.
"NORM!" Doofenshmirtz screamed.
"Seek them out…the Treasure in the Tides…" the cave said as it slowly disappeared…while Norm's head tumbled out, landing at Doofenshmirtz's feet.
"Hello, father. It did not go as planned," Norm said, still sounding quite upbeat in spite everything.
"Don't worry, Norm, Daddy'll get ya fixed up in no time," Doofenshmirtz said, comfortingly. "Well, guess it's back to the drawing board, boss. Probably with a better -Inator, since otherwise, we're not getting that hook."
"Yes…it would appear that your robot was unworthy for such a task," the man nodded, picking up his cloak. His face was now clear to see—crimson and skeletal with no nose and prominent teeth. A rather haunting Red Skull. "Only certain people are allowed in there…"
"Hey, maybe I could lure Perry the Platypus in there. Not like HE has anything better to do on weekends," Doofenshmirtz said, but Red Skull silenced him.
"Those who we can send in as tribute and not face consequences…and those whose value is not so clear," Red Skull said. "I must find them…this…Treasure in the Tides."