I tried to lighten this one up a bit - let me know what you think! And if there's anything you'd like to see me write (this story or otherwise) I'd love to take a crack at it.
With Erin's admission that she wasn't okay, all the hairs stood up on the back of Jay's neck. "Can I come in?" he asked softly, willing his pulse to slow down as he sought to close the gap between himself and his partner. She didn't need to see him stressed out, even if it was about her.
Again, Jay was met with silence. "I'm coming in, okay?"
"Don't look!" She yelped as his hand made contact with the door, "I-I don't want you to see."
"I won't," Jay replied slowly, his palms now sweating profusely, images of all the horrific things she might not want him to see flashing before his eyes, "I won't look. I'm just going to open the door, okay?"
"Okay," Erin echoed, her voice strained. Jay gently turned the handle on the bathroom door and pushed it open. He kept his eyes down on the bathroom floor, focusing on Erin's feet. Even her toes were bruised. "Don't be mad," she begged as Jay took another step into the bathroom, "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad at all," Jay assured her, still keeping his promise not took look at her but desperately fighting the urge, "Why do you think that, babe? I'm just worried about you. Did you hurt yourself?"
"I'm sorry," she repeated, "I-I wanted to do it myself but-" Erin choked out a cough.
"I'm not here to judge you, Er," Jay promised, "You've been through hell. You're allowed to feel whatever you need to feel. And I just want to be there for you." He paused, "Is it okay if I look up now?"
"Okay," Erin whispered. Jay lifted his gaze from his partner's feet slowly.
She was rigidly perched on the edge of the plastic seat, holding the hospital issue towel across her chest in an attempt to cover the bruises that cover her torso. The gown pooled at her waist, showing off the large bandages covering the stitches on Erin's stomach, which sat upon her tender black and blue skin. Her tear filled hazel eyes found Jay's as he took in his partner, doing everything he could not to come undone at the sight of the broken woman before him.
"I-I look terrible," she managed, gesturing to her face while attempting to hold the towel around her torso with the other arm, "My face is bruised, my body looks…" Erin trailed off, sniffles replacing the rest of her words.
"Is it okay if I come closer?" Jay asked, swallowing the persistent lump in his throat, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Erin gave a wobbly nod of assent as Jay took another step closer. "I couldn't," she tried, "I couldn't do it."
Jay nodded as he listened, carefully squatting down on the tiled floor to look up at his girl, still keeping the distance between them. "It hurts to look at. More-more than it actually hurts," Erin choked out, "I just wanted to get him off me."
"I know," he whispered, "And I'm so sorry babe. I know the nurse said your stitches can't get wet, but maybe we can get one of the nurses to help-"
"I don't want anyone to see me like this," Erin interrupted, tears sluicing off her cheeks as she shook her head, "I-I didn't want you to see me like this. And I didn't want to you to see me earlier because I'm supposed to be strong but-" Erin coughed loudly and then squeaked in pain.
"You are strong. And it's just me, Er. You've seen me at my worst. And nothing could ever make me think that you're not strong," Jay swallowed again, doing his best to blink back the tears that kept forming behind his eyes, "I promise, you're going to get through this. And if you want, I can help you."
At that, Erin burst into broken sobs and leaned forward into Jay's embrace. "I got you, babe," he murmured into her ear as she shook against him, "I'm here."
"Will-will you help me?" she asked tearfully, pulling back from Jay's shoulder, "Please?"
"Of course." Jay pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Whatever you need."
"I want him off of me," Erin insisted, shuddering slightly as she adjusted the towel across her chest, "I feel disgusting."
Jay nodded. "I'm going to grab a few cloths from the nurse, alright? If it's okay with you, I can help?"
Erin nodded slowly, her eyes trained on Jay as he got to his feet and quickly retrieved the cloths and towels the nurse had left on the visitor's chair. Jay took a deep breath after he was out of her sight, simultaneously overwhelmed by his partner's vulnerability but also incredibly thankful that she was alive, and willing to let him in.
"Er?" Jay knocked on the bathroom door again before returning, doing his best to appear calm and collected, "Can I come back in?"
"Uh-huh," she murmured, shivering from the chill of the bathroom. The tears had thankfully stopped trickling down her cheeks as she gazed up at her partner. She looked fragile and forlorn on the plastic chair, goosebumps all over her bruised arms and legs.
"Is it okay if I put this cloth on you?" Jay asked, running the cloth under warm water, intending to narrate each of his actions to avoid frightening his already skittish partner.
"I trust you," Erin replied softly, "Thank you."
"Of course," Jay dropped a kiss on top of her head before gently placing the warm cloth on her arm, careful of the cuts and scrapes. Erin's eyes were closed, but her rigid posture relaxed ever so slightly with each stroke of Jay's hand.
"His-his lips were there," she choked out as Jay ran the cloth down her neck slowly, the fabric grazing over the bruises from where Charlie's lips had been. She opened her eyes to meet her partner's, his baby blues shining with tears. "S-sorry."
"It's not your fault," he whispered, pausing his motions with the cloth, "I'm the one who should be sorry."
"I-I tried to pretend it was you. When it was happening," Erin shuddered, partly from the chill of the bathroom, partly at the memory, "But he's nothing like you." She swallowed, "He-he was really rough. And I remember trying to get him off me but my whole body felt heavy, like I couldn't move." Erin closed her eyes again as Jay continued to run the cloth over her shoulders, "All I wanted was you."
Jay offered a small smile and leaned forward, placing yet another kiss atop Erin's forehead. "Am I hurting you?" he asked, running the cloth under the tap to ensure it stayed warm.
She shook her head and opened her eyes again. "I-I just want to forget it ever happened."
"I wish I could take it all away," Jay replied honestly, reaching out to wipe a stray tear off her cheek, "If I could, I would."
Erin sniffed and let out a choked cough. "Do you need a break?" he asked softly, sitting back on his heels to get a better look at his partner.
She shook her head again and gestured to the bruises on her neck. "Can you-" Erin stopped herself. She knew what she wanted to happen, but she wasn't sure that Jay would feel comfortable. After all, Charlie's lips had been on her neck not two days ago.
Somehow, without her finishing her thought, Jay knew exactly what his partner wanted. He leaned closer, the cloth still in his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you, Erin, I promise. Stop me if you feel scared, okay?" She managed a nod, and slowly, gently, softly, Jay pressed a kiss to her neck. The softness of his lips was a stark contrast to the roughness of Charlie's, and Erin let out a quiet gasp.
He paused after he pulled back, looking up at his girl with tears in his eyes. "Keep going," she begged in a whisper, cupping his cheeks with her shaking fingers, "Please, Jay."
And so Jay complied, carefully warming the cloth in the sink before running it down her neck and arms. At each bruise, Jay stopped to leave the lightest kiss possible, hoping that with each gesture, the horrific memories of Charlie would fade, and his girl could begin to heal.
Jay settled Erin back into the hospital bed and sat by her side as she dozed off, absolutely spent by all the activity. It was late in the day and Erin was exhausted, now thankfully clad in some of her favorite comfy clothes that Jay had procured from their apartment. Jay was tired himself, but sat awake beside her. "Hey, kid," Hank greeted, gently knocking on the hospital room door, "How's she doing?"
"She's strong," Jay replied, gently running his thumb over the top of Erin's hand, "Sleeping now, thankfully."
Hank nodded, "When she wakes up, uh, we gotta tell her. If he wakes up, there might be a case, and a testimony, and I can only stall her having to give a statement for so long. We've got until Tuesday, but they're going to want it sooner rather than later."
Jay sighed. "I know. I just-" He paused as Erin stirred slightly. Her eyes opened lazily and found Hank's.
"Hey," she managed, taking a raggedy inhale, "You didn't have to come."
"Of course I did," Hank gave a small smile, "How are you feeling, kiddo?"
"Tired. Sore," Erin mumbled, attempting to stretch as best she could, "I want to go home."
"Soon, babe," Jay assured her, "Just tonight and hopefully tomorrow you'll be discharged."
Erin grunted and let out a cough, the air rattling in her lungs. "What day is it?" she asked quietly, "I um, realized that I don't know how long it was."
Jay and Hank exchanged looks. "Saturday," Hank told her, "You were gone about five days."
She nodded, slowly processing the information. "I'm also here because I need to tell you something," Hank said slowly, watching as his girl's eyes widened in concern, "I know you've been through a lot, but we're going to need you to make a statement. Your account of what happened."
"I already told the doctors," Erin gritted out, her features contorted in pain as another cough escaped, "What does it matter?"
"Charlie is in a coma over at Mercy. He survived, just barely. And it doesn't look good for him, but if he wakes up, there could be a trial." Hank looked from Jay to Erin, "I know it's a lot to process, kiddo."
Erin took as deep a breath as she could muster. "You waited to tell me. You knew, and you didn't tell me?"
"We wanted to have the whole story," Hank said, "It was clear if Charlie was going to make it, and still isn't. You had just gotten out of surgery yesterday, and we didn't want to upset you."
"You knew as well?" Erin turned to Jay.
Jay nodded slowly, unwilling to lie to his partner. "I knew Charlie survived, yes. But like Hank said, none of us thought he'd make it. And he still might not. Regardless, you're safe and he's going to spend the rest of his miserable life locked up."
"If I make a statement," Erin supplied, "Right?"
"There's evidence," Hank said slowly, "Alvin and Ruzek can give statements, and Charlie sent us a video-"
"What?" Erin cut him off, "Charlie sent you a video?"
Hank and Jay exchanged looks again. "He did, babe. A video of him hurting you."
Erin bit her lip. "I can't believe you saw that."
"I'm sorry," Jay managed, "I can't imagine how hard this is for you. And they don't need the statement today. You've got a few days to heal, go home. It's going to be okay." He paused, expecting Erin to retort angrily. Instead, she gave a small nod.
"I-I get it," she exhaled, "Just uh, let me know what I have to do. I don't want him going free."
"Of course," Hank bent down and kissed the crown of Erin's head. "I'm heading back to the district, but call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Thanks," she breathed, squeezing Jay's hand as her father figure exited the room. Erin turned to Jay. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I've been so horrible to you." Erin swallowed, "My emotions are just all over the place and-" she coughed and grimaced.
"Babe," Jay murmured, stroking the hair off her forehead, "I get it. I really do. You're allowed to feel whatever you need, and if that means you need to take it out on me, that's okay. It's what I'm here for."
Erin managed a small smile and leaned into his touch. "You're too good to me," she whispered, "You are so gentle and patient and," she swallowed, "It's just so different. From the last few days."
"It will get better," Jay promised, "It will."
Erin spent another night under observation, by both the team of nurses and Jay. It had thankfully been the nurse Candace's day off, so Jay was able to spend the night beside his girl as she slept fitfully. Her stomach was still aching and the cough persisted, but she was more lucid when she was awake.
"I can't wait to go home," Erin muttered at six in the morning after being awoken by one of the nurses administering pain medication into her IV, "I miss our bed."
"Our bed misses you," Jay replied, "The good news is you'll have a few weeks to get reacquainted while your stomach heals."
Erin grunted but managed a small smile, "Least you'll be able to be in bed next to me."
"How's my favorite patient?" Will poked his head into the hospital room, interrupting Jay's response, "Feeling any better?"
"A bit," Erin confirmed, "When can I go home?"
"It sounds like they'll be discharging you today. With some strict conditions though," Will said sternly, "Like consistent pain management, bed rest and all around taking it easy." He raised his eyebrows knowingly.
"I'll do it," she said quickly, "Anything to not be stuck in this room."
Will chuckled softly. "Alrighty. I'll be back with a few prescriptions and the discharge papers, okay?"
"I can't wait to go home," Erin repeated to Jay as he traced soothing circles on her hand with his finger. She inhaled sharply, causing Jay to look at her concernedly.
"What's wrong, babe?" he asked quickly, sitting up straighter, "Did I hurt you?"
"No, no," she assured him, "My, um, my stitches tugged." Erin paused, "And um, I know you've already done a lot for me, but I was wondering if you could hold onto the pain medication. Since-since you already had the schedule memorized and…" she trailed off, not wanting to admit the real reason she wanted Jay to hold onto the addictive pain pills.
"Of course," Jay reached up and stroked her cheek, "You don't have anything to worry about, Er. I'll be there for you, every step of the way."
"You um, you didn't know me when I was younger though. And I know you saw me a few times when I was on sabbatical but uh, I just want to make sure everything stays in control. I mean, I'm not worried but I want to be careful and-"
"Babe," Jay cut off her rambling, "Don't worry, okay?"
"Okay," she exhaled, following it up with a loud cough. Jay winced.
"We gotta get you some more cough meds," he murmured as Erin rubbed her chest, the cough having tugged on her chest muscles, "And maybe something to eat?"
"These do have to be taken with food," Will interrupted yet again, shaking a bottle of pills, "Jay, you're about to become Nurse Halstead."
Erin snorted and Jay rolled his eyes. "Alright, lay it on me," he said, "I'm happy to be a nurse if it means I can bring my partner home."
"Pain killers every four hours, except overnight," Will placed a bottle on the table beside Jay, "Antibiotics twice a day," he placed two bottles down, "Some blood thinners because you've just had surgery and cough medicine, every six hours."
"Jesus," Erin muttered at the bottles in front of her.
"Everything's gotta be taken with a good amount of food, alright?" Will glanced down at Erin's chart, "Do you have an inhaler for your asthma?"
"Uh, yeah, somewhere," Erin thought for a second, "It's only for emergencies. Probably in my bedside drawer or in my desk."
"Well that's not a very useful place for it," Will chastised, "You should be using it every six hours while your lungs heal. I'm prescribing another one."
"Actually babe, it's in the Sierra," Jay admitted sheepishly.
Erin turned to her partner. "What?"
"Yeah um, back when we were first partnered up, when Willhite told Antonio that her epi pen was in their car, I asked you if you had any allergies. And you told me you had asthma and an inhaler that you kept in your desk. I-I didn't want to not be able to help you if you ever had an asthma attack, so I kept it in the glove compartment of the 300, and now it's in the center console of the Sierra."
Erin's eyes softened at her partner's admission. "You kept my inhaler, all this time?"
Jay nodded, "In case you ever needed it."
Her lower lip trembled as she gave a watery smile, "That is probably the cutest thing you've ever done."
"Anything for you," Jay replied, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.
"Okay, well you'll probably need a new one anyway. I'll prescribe two, one for Erin and one for Jay to keep in his purse," Will quipped, earning a swift punch to the shoulder from his brother. "Hey! Don't assault the doctor."
"Thanks Will," Erin murmured, "For everything."
"Of course. You guys should be good to get out of here in a bit. And if you need anything, especially if this guy becomes too annoying, give me a call. I'll be there."
"Thanks man," Jay smiled at his brother gratefully, "I mean it."
"Take good care of her, Jay," Will said as he exited the hospital room.
"You ready to head home, babe?" Jay turned to his girl who nodded in response.
"I'm ready," she replied, suppressing a cough. "Thank you. For being here."
"Always." Jay placed a kiss on her hand. "I'll grab the nurse to get you undone from all this stuff, and we'll head home, sound good?"
Erin's heading home but things never stay calm for long...wink