Smile For Me
- chapter 9 -

Kai cursed and cursed as he looked at the empty tubes in his hands and back at the mirror at his battered face. Shit... His right cheek was still swollen and he still had that cut on his left cheek. Not to mention that the side of his forehead was black and blue. Nope, absolutely no way. He wasn't gonna go out looking like that. He grabbed for his bag, searching for a small plastic container, opening it and cursing all humanity as he found it empty. No ointment, no powder, just heaps and heaps of bandages. Fuck. Oh, wait, scratch that. There were no more bandages either.

I should have known. Sighing, Kai leaned against the bathroom door, sliding down with a scowl. It was good news that those heaps of training were done now and they were allowed to go into the city - of course, with their cell phones intact - so that Kai could buy more medicine, but the problem was, how was Kai gonna go out looking like this? Oh, the cruelty of life.

He glared at the tube, squeezing it in an effort to get more ointment but all that came out was a teensy bit of sticky fluid. Yuck. He cursed himself for being too cynical to even notice that he was running out of medicine. Plus, he didn't want to admit it, but he knew at the back of his mind that he was scared to actually go out. If he felt even the slightest bit of physical pain, he'd most likely spasm and faint again... And fainting in the snow is not a good thing. He couldn't ask anyone to buy it for him because they'd keep on asking questions and Kai wasn't the type to be all buddy buddy to other people, asking for favors and whatnot. What to do now?

Sighing, Kai threw the tube in his bag and left the room, knowing full well that no one was in it to see his condition. Grabbing his jacket and his bandana, he idly wondered if anyone would notice that he finally got out of his room. He put them on and grabbed a handkerchief in the process, putting it over his mouth. He growled at the door, wanting it over and done. Turning the knob without even the slightest bit of hesitation, he yanked it open and closed it shut. He scowled and fastened his pace down the hall, but a certain navy-haired boy filled his view and he felt his brain freeze. Damnit, Kai, wake up. And he did. He ignored Tyson's downcast eyes and walked past him, silently praying that the boy wouldn't see his face clearly.

"Hiwatari."

His whole body froze. But he didn't turn back. He couldn't risk it. Then it sunk in and he felt his lips turn into a sarcastic smile underneath his fingers against the piece of cloth. We're back in last names now, huh?

"Why?"

Why? Why? Kai Hiwatari didn't know why. Or how, even. All he knew that his Grandfather did it, and they shared the same blood. Kai Hiwatari killed Tyson's mother and it was a fact that now haunted Kai's every waking hour. Even then, he couldn't bring his grandfather in the situation. He was a coward, he could admit to himself that. He knew that if he bought Voltaire in, Voltaire would suspect him and might even kill him without the slightest bit of hesitation. If not, then Voltaire would kill Tyson. No, Kai couldn't risk that. Never.

So he replied. "I don't know."

That earned him a punch. He didn't know how Tyson did it or why he didn't see the boy move, but he just knew there was something pulsing in his jaw. It was pulsing way too much, it hurt. Kai's eyes widened as he felt his mind drift away. Not again...

His whole body went limp. Pain. Pain. Too much pain. Images of blood, torture flashed across his mind. Whips, knives, scissors. Scars. He saw Voltaire's sadistic smile, saw his sadistic sneer. And Kai, once again, felt afraid. His heart hurt, and his whole body was cold. He remembered every time Voltaire would come home with a mad expression and burst into his room and start kicking him for all he was worth. He remembered that dark room. Yes, the torture room. He remembered every scream, every scar, every drop of blood. He remembered every shadow, every voice, taunting him of his weakness and how he succumbed easily to pain and tears.

Most of all, Tyson punched him.

It did double damage. He remembered the time when Mrs. Kinomiya would laugh with him, smile at him, talk to him, or just simply be there for him. Then he remembered the time when they tried to escape and the time when he opened the television and he felt his whole body cry out as he remembered the tearing pain he felt when he heard of her death. The news made it so simple, like it didn't matter. To him, it mattered. A lot. And it probably mattered to Tyson even more than to him.

Tyson... Tyson... I'm sorry... Tyson? Where are you? Tyson...

He curled up in instinct, grabbing to his head with a strangled scream, his handkerchief somewhere meters away from him. He clutched at his hair as more images popped up, and the voices seemed to get louder and louder until Kai thought that he was about to go deaf. "No..." He muttered under his breath, "No... I'm not weak..." He gave out another muffled cry as the voices doubled. "No... NO! Tyson... Tyson..." He felt tears down his cheeks and he cursed himself once again for his weakness. Why? Why does it hurt so much?

Tyson's eyes widened as he watched Kai's curled up form, worry crawling up to his chest in an instant. He meant for Kai to get hurt, but he never expected such a reaction like this. "Kai? Kai!" What more, when he saw Kai's face, what was supposed to be Kai's beautiful face, it made his blood turn cold. Kai?

He grabbed onto Kai's shoulders, shaking him frantically. "Oh my god, Kai! I'm sorry! Kai, what's happening? Kai, I'm sorry! KAI!"

"Tyson... Tyson..." Kai repeated the name over and over, sticking it to his brain to make the voices go away. "Make them go away..."

Tyson felt his heart break at how Kai sounded. He sounded so lost, so broken. "Kai, what's wrong?" He knew that it wasn't just because of his punch. No, he knew that it wasn't the reason behind everything. He didn't know why. Kai Hiwatari killed his mother. Then... why? Why can't I hate you? Why can't I just leave you crying like this? Why can't I...?

"Tyson..." Kai grabbed at his shirt, blinking his tears away and looked at Tyson with tearful eyes, sorrowful eyes begging for forgiveness. "I'm sorry, Tyson... I couldn't..." Then the blackness came back. And Kai welcomed it, feeling relieved to be able to escape from the cruelty of reality. Then he whispered, his voice so low but Tyson managed to hear him. "I couldn't stop him..."

Stop who?

When Kai woke up, the first thing he felt was cold pressure on his cheek. He blinked his eyes open, ushering the blurriness away. He saw Tyson, face buried in his arms while a hand pressed the ice pack to his cheek. And for a moment, Kai felt warm. If just for a moment, he was thankful because he hadn't felt like that in such a long time. "Tyson?" He winced at how cracked his voice sounded, and how he finally realized just how painful his throat was.

"Huh?" Tyson bolted upwards before his eyes widened, "Kai! You're awake! Damnit, Kai, you had me worried there!"

"Wha -- why're you here?" Kai choked out, gulping numerous times to get the dryness out of his throat.

"What?" Tyson smiled weakly, repositioning the ice pack, "You think that I'd just leave you there looking like that?"

"Well..." Kai blinked, "Yes." It was the truth.

Tyson looked away, a sad look in his features. "Sorry..."

"What're you sorry about?" Kai looked away as well, an annoyed look on his face. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"But..." Tyson sighed, "I don't know the whole story, do I?" He fixed a determined look on Kai's face, "Tell me everything. You at least owe me that."

Kai turned to him. I can't. Can't you see that? He couldn't bring Voltaire in the conversation. He couldn't. "I killed Mrs. Kinomiya. What more explanation do you need?"

"A lot." Tyson's determined look stayed and Kai winced at the fact that Tyson was pushing the ice pack against his cheek harder, "Why did you do it? And what's your connection with mother anyway?"

"It doesn't concern you." Kai spat. It broke his heart to have this argument, but he didn't know why fighting with Tyson was giving him this kind of reaction. He fought with a lot of people before, but never like this. Maybe it's because of the topic of the conversation? He didn't know. "I killed her. That's all I'll say to you. Go to the police or whatever, I'm not running. I'll stay here in Hokkaido for as long as you want, for as long as it's needed for the police to arrest me."

"Damnit, Kai!" In all his fury, Tyson closed his eyes shut and raised his arm holding the ice pack and bought it down, smacking Kai's face with all of his strength left.

He opened his eyes, hoping to feel triumph to at least have hit Kai Hiwatari, Kai Hiwatari who he was supposed to hate, despite, abhor but he couldn't. But triumph was the last thing he felt. He opened his eyes and felt horrified at himself, as he looked at Kai's terrified expression, looked at Kai's scared eyes. Kai had stood up and scrambled away from Tyson, falling on the floor in the process, adding additional pain. He crawled away, back against the wall and he then found out he was shirtless, his scars exposed for Tyson to see, but Tyson could have already seen it when he took Kai's shirt off in the first place, but that was the last on the boy's mind right now.

Tyson Granger stood in front of him, but as he relished in the feeling of his throbbing cheek and the feeling of thick liquid rolling the side of his face, he saw Voltaire. With the same sadistic smile and piercing eyes.

Tyson took a step forward, trying to reach out but his whole body froze when Kai spoke, "Don't..."

Kai shut his eyes, hugging his knees to his chest, tears rolling once again on his cheeks as his felt his mind wander again. He didn't care if Tyson was the one in front of him. In his mind, he saw Voltaire. He heard every laugh, every mocking insult. "Don't touch me! Don't come any closer!"

"Or what, Kai? Hm? Gonna run away? Who're you going to run to, huh? There's no one out there for you, Kai. You can't escape from me."

"GO AWAY!"

And Tyson watched as Kai screamed, feeling his heart clench at the pathetic sight, feeling his own tears prick at the back of his eyes as he gazed at Kai's shaking form. He watched as Kai screamed the last of his voice, watched as Kai cried and hugged himself, watched as Kai fell and watched as Kai lost consciousness.

Kai...

When Kai awoke for the third time that day1, he was in no way feeling refreshed. What more, he found himself in the bathtub with nothing on and with hands roaming all over his body. He felt his cheeks flush and he moved to get out the tub, but a hand pushed him back down. He glared at Tyson, that blush still on his face, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Giving you you're bath, obviously." Tyson rolled his eyes, with no anxiousness at all, before unplugging the tub and opening the shower, rinsing Kai from all the soap.

Kai stayed still, glaring at empty space, "And may I ask, pray tell, why?"

"Because you reek and I think it'd be better if you took a bath before you sleep so you'd feel refreshed for the night. You know..." Tyson trailed off slightly, "With everything happening and stuff."

"Oh." Kai didn't speak, even when Tyson hauled him out of the bathroom and began throwing him some clothes.

"I think you can dress yourself, right?" He grinned when Kai colored and coughed, before locking himself back in the bathroom with the clothes in hand.

When he heard a click, Tyson sighed and plopped back at what was supposed to be his bed until he... found out. I'm supposed to be mad at him. Angry, pissed off, hate him with all my soul, but why am I not like that? His lips tightened as he remembered looking at Kai's body, gazing at all the scars and at the swollen patches of skin. Then the wounds on his legs and... Tyson felt his face heat up and he shook his head quickly, ridding himself of... thoughts.

He was pretty sure that Kai didn't hurt himself... Sure, Kai was withdrawn and stuff, but Kai wasn't like that. No one hurt themselves that much. He sighed, closing his eyes. What the heck is wrong with him anyway? And the person that Kai mention... Just who the heck is him?

He was bolted out of his thoughts when Kai came out of the bathroom, fully clothed and rubbing his face dry with the towel. Tyson waited until Kai was done, but he scowled when Kai seemed not to want to part with the fluffy towel. He rolled his eyes, "Come on, Kai, it's not like I haven't seen your face yet." He grinned when Kai blushed and pouted for a moment before his face returned back to the emotionless facade as before.

"Hn."

Tyson smirked, "Hmm... Haven't heard that one for a long time."

Kai ignored that, and looked away, towel in his lap. "What are you still doing here?"

"What do you think?" Tyson sighed, standing up and sitting down in the same bed as Kai. "I want explanations now and I'm not leaving this room without them."

"Fine." Kai breathed out. Would lies work? "What kind of explanations?"

Tyson grinned, happy to have finally gotten a positive answer, "Everything."

1 Now, let's be logical. Kai woke up that morning to start a new day, then he woke again because he fainted in the hall way, then he woke up again because he went crazy after Tyson hit him with the ice pack... -sweat drop- Now that I think about it, that must've hurt... Sorry, Kai-kun! XD