Don't let the title freak you out. Renkotsu does not do anything nasty, but Bankotsu might think otherwise... horror music

BTW there are many Scary Movie 3 scenes in this chappie... i don't own Scary Movie 3, but it doesn't take a genius to figure that out... oh and I forgot to mention earlier (not that there's any need to, but i feel special when I make disclaimers... amkes me look professional-) I do ot own Stewie either. Tee hee!

Chapter 25: Renkotsu's Wrong Move

Bankotsu talked the incident over with the guys, but he was careful not to mention Naraku. It was bad enough that Sango already knew about him.

They were right in the middle of a conversation when they heard a shriek come from Sango's room, followed by a loud thud. They rushed down the hall to see what it was.

Halfway down the hall, they saw a shadowed figure leave Sango's room holding a knife.

"Hey!" Bankotsu shouted angrily. "Stop!" but it was already gone.

When they looked in Sango's room, they saw her huddled in a corner, whimpering softly. Bankotsu rushed over to her and hugged her. "Sango, what happened?"

Sango tried to speak, but she was too shaken up. It took her a while before she could finally talk, but she could only make out a few words.

"He… tried to…my baby…" she gently rubbed her stomach and sobbed quietly.

Bankotsu looked at her arm and noticed that it was badly bleeding. Whatever was chasing Sango was after the baby, not her.

"It's OK now," he told her, trying to comfort her. "He's gone."

After a few minutes, Sango finally calmed down. "Why?" she asked him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why is someone trying to kill my baby?"

Bankotsu just hugged her tightly. He didn't know what to tell her. He looked up at the others, who shrugged their shoulders.

The Shichinintai were extra cautious over the next few days. No one was ever to far away from Sango. They took turns keeping an eye on her, to make sure there were no more attacks.

Bankotsu watched her the most, because he spent the most time with her. Renkotsu watched her the second most, because he "volunteered" to. Suikotsu was third most, because Jakotsu was hardly allowed to have a shift. He always went a little over board.

One time, Jakotsu was pacing back and forth in front of Sango's room, marching as if he were in an army.

Suddenly he went running up to Renkotsu. "Hey, Renkotsu!" he shouted, being surprisingly serious. "The squirrels are acting strange!"

Renkotsu raised an eyebrow. "We don't have any squirrels Jakotsu."

"Yes we do!" Jakotsu shouted. He opened at door. Renkotsu looked in and cried out in alarm when he saw what was in the room. It was fill with squirrels; black ones, gray ones, short ones, fat ones, you name it!

Jakotsu picked one up. "I call this one…" he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, "… Linda."

Renkotsu stared at him with disgust, and then slowly closed the door, leaving Jakotsu in there with his squirrels. As he was leaving, he heart Jakotsu shouting to one of them. "Wait! Linda baby come back! I can change! Just give me another chance!" Suddenly there was a thud and then silence.

Renkotsu shook his head in disbelief. That dude gets stupider everyday! He thought.

Renkotsu realized that no one else was at the temple, so he would have to take a shift now. He walked towards Sango's room and slid the door open a crack. When he looked in, he saw her sitting up in her bed with her back facing him.

Renkotsu could hear her talking, but not to him. She was murmuring soothing words to her baby.

"Umm… Sango?" Renkotsu spoke quietly.

Sango turned around and put her finger on her lips to shush him, then motioned him to come in.

He tiptoed over and sat down. Sango was looking at her stomach, smiling.

"Do you hear that?" she asked excitedly. Renkotsu shook his head. She giggled. "No, of course you can't" she murmured. "It's moving… and I heard it make a noise. It might have been my imagination but still…"

Renkotsu looked at her in surprise. "It's moving?" Sango nodded. "It's been kicking all night."

"Why would it do that?" he asked.

"I dunno. I guess there's nothing else for it to do…" she said smiling, giggling a bit.

Renkotsu twitched. She's so pretty when she smiles… he thought to himself. He sighed. Life is so unfair.

Sango rubbed her stomach gently. Renkotsu did not understand why she did this. He had seen Bankotsu rub her stomach when him and Sango were cuddling (much to Renkotsu's annoyance). It's like they were trying to pet the infant or something.

"I never thought it would be this exciting…" Sango sighed.

Renkotsu stood up. "Well, here's your food. I'll let you get some rest now," he closed the door behind him as he left, but when he turned around; Bankotsu was standing right there, making Renkotsu jump.

Bankotsu was glaring at him. "And just what were you doing in there?" he asked in a cold, harsh voice.

Renkotsu had a straight face on. "I was just bringer her some food. You got a problem with that?"

"Yes I do! It's Jakotsu's turn to bring her food, not yours. And I'm pretty sure you're not Jakotsu."

"Well, Jakotsu's a little busy. Go see for yourself," he motioned to the squirrel room.

Bankotsu opened the door and yelled when a squirrel jumped on his head and covered his eyes. "I can't see! RENKOTSU!" Bankotsu growled. He grabbed the squirrel and threw it back into the room (AN: Poor squirrel! What did it ever do? A moment of silence for the squirrel… OK back to the story-). But when he turned around, Renkotsu was long gone.

Bankotsu opened Sango's room and peeped in. She was fast asleep. He sighed with relief and sat down outside her door.

For the next few days, everything was calm. There were no more attacks. They figured it was probably just some demons that held a grudge on the demon slayers.

Kirara always stayed with Sango, just in case.

One night, Suikotsu (who was in doctor form) was bringing Sango her meal. She sat up and smiled at him, and he gave a tiny smirk.

"Suikotsu," she asked, "don't you have a girlfriend or anything?"

Suikotsu sighed. "I used to have a wife, but then she died."

Sango's eyes widened. "That's terrible! How did she die? If you don't mind telling me that is…"

Suikotsu sighed. "She was hit by a horse." Suikotsu told his little sob story to Sango.

Flashback

Suikotsu was walking home from work, when a woman from his village came up to him with tears in her eyes.

"It's your wife, John," she replied slowly.

"Actually, my name is Sui- wait, what about my wife?" he asked worriedly.

"She was hit by a horse." The woman replied.

Suikotsu shook his head. "I don't understand…"

"The horse is the only thing keeping her alive

"Watch," the woman told him, and she took out a hot dog (without the bun). She carefully split it in half down the center.

Suikotsu looked confused. "She broke her wiener?"

The woman looked at what she was holding, rolled her eyes and threw it away. Then she took out a taco. "Look at what happens to the taco." She told him firmly, and then split it in half too.

Suikotsu shook his head. "Look, I don't understand all this doctor lingo, I want to see Annie!"

The woman almost exploded. "She's split in half!"

"You mean…" he took out a sub and split it the long way. "…down the middle"? (I don't know where they get the food BTW, lol)

"At the waist," she motioned to her waist.

"You mean this is the last time I can spend with the top half?"

The woman nodded. They were finally getting somewhere! "Yes!. The horse is the only thing holding her together!"

Suikotsu nodded, and then made his voice a little lower. "Would I be able to squeeze a few minutes with the bottom half?"

The woman frowned. "I don't understand what you're…"

"Let me explain." He took a doughnut and a wiener and was about to put the wiener through the doughnut hole, but the woman stooped him.

"John, go see Annie."

"For god's sake woman, it's Sui-" she cut him off.

"Go!" she snapped. Suikotsu obediently went over to his wife.

"Hey honey," he murmured when he got there. "How are you?"

Annie breathed a little bit, and then spoke. "Oh, I'm dieing John…"

"No, no. Don't talk like that! The horse barely - What did you just call me?"

His wife continued. "Look, John. I'm not going to make it. Promise me you won't ever marry."

"Why does everyone keep calling me john?" Suikotsu muttered, then he realized Annie was talking to him. "Huh? Oh, sure honey. Of course." He hugged her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And no sex either."

Suikotsu's eyes widened. "What's that? I didn't quite catch that."

"No sex," she repeated.

"Honey, something's wrong. You're not speaking clearly…"

"No sex… no sex… no sex… NO SEX!" she screamed after he kept babbling about not being able to hear her.

"Poor Annie," Suikotsu began, closing her eyes as if she died. "We hardly new her. She will be missed greatly…"

Oh jeeze!" his wife muttered, then she pushed him away from her and grasped his collar. "Look, John. Tell your brother, to swim away…"

"Umm… I don't have a brother Annie. And my name isn't John either…"

Annie suddenly gasped in pain and died.

Back to present

He was suddenly aware of Sango waving her hand in front of his face. "Hello-o! Suikotsu? Anyone there?"

He quickly snapped out of it. "Oh, sorry Sango. I was just having a flashback…" He got up and left the room.

"Hey! What about my dinner?" Sango shouted after him, but he was already gone.

I just love Scary Movie 3! It's an awsome movie and it's so funny! I can just see Suikotsu doing that! R&R