Sorry for the lack of updating…I've just been super busy.
I don't own Instant Star blah blah blah. Or any of the songs I use, if I do own them I'll uh..put in an A/N before it.
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Jude took a deep breath, put her hand on the doorknob of her house and walked inside. She looked to her left to see her dad and mom going at it on the couch. Victoria snapped up when she heard someone come in.
"Jude! Honey….you're late! How was Kat's? I thought you were uh staying there…"
She couldn't even formulate words….how could she tell her mother that the man she was about to have sex with (again) was having an affair? She decided to keep her mouth shut.
"This is disgusting, I have school tomorrow….I'm going to bed" Jude said slowly putting her hand in front of her eyes.
"Jude, honey--"
"No, no keep on getting on whatever it is you're umm…getting on"
She ran upstairs to her room, closed the door and fell onto her bed, crying herself to sleep.
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The week went by slowly for everybody. Every time Jude was going to tell her mother about her father's affair she punked out. She couldn't forget the events of Friday night. On Saturday she woke up feeling guilty, but on Sunday she felt so sick to her stomach thinking of what her father had been doing that she did get sick. She couldn't help but feel guilty…but she thought that maybe Friday at the studio could clear her head. She was playing around with her guitar on Wednesday night when Sadie walked into her room.
" Jude….I need your help"
Jude looked from her bed and gave Sadie a tired look…she hadn't slept in days, and it was obvious.
"What's up Sade?"
"I have lyrics to a song….and I want you to help me come up with the music"
Jude's eyes widened…looking into Sadie's eyes. She knew that her sister really was trying, and that her voice had gotten somewhat better because Georgia had signed her up for singing lessons.
"Sure Sades, lemme see the lyrics"
Sadie handed over the lyrics and watched Jude's reaction. Nobody spoke, for about 5 minutes.
"Sadie…these lyrics are great!"
"Thanks, Jude"
"I know exactly what music we could put them with" She looked up and smiled at her sister and her sister smiled back.
"Then little sister, let's get to work"
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Sadie didn't go to the studio on Thursday and it was almost a relief for Tommy. He couldn't wait to see Jude the next day…he couldn't wait to hear what she was working on. It had been a slow day, he'd been working with some artists when Kwest came in to talk to him.
"Yo, man I think that tomorrow I'm gonna take the night off"
Tommy didn't look up from the sound board.
"No you aren't"
"What? Man, I haven't had a night off in weeks"
"I know, but I got this girl comin' in tomorrow night, you gotta hear her. Amazing doesn't even begin to cut it"
"You serious?"
"No, I'm totally bullshiting you because of course I want to waste my Friday night hanging out with you" Tommy looked up at Kwest, smiled and rolled his eyes, "Yes, I'm serious man!"
"Alright you got me…but this girl better be good"
Kwest walked back and Tommy went back to mixing on the soundboard. He noticed something but tried to shrug it off…but he couldn't fool Kwest. Kwest walked out of Studio B and looked in at the smile Tommy had on his face.
"I hope for the sake of this girl that she can resist the charms of Lil' Tommy Q"
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The school day dragged for Jude. Nothing interesting happened. It was last period, and she was already trying to figure out what she would wear to the studio that night. She zoned out of Biology and started daydreaming about Tommy Q until someone slightly nudged her causing her to fall out of her desk.
"Ms. Harrison, is everything all right back there? I hope your nap wasn't disturbed" the bio teacher sneered.
"No, ma'am. And I wasn't sleeping…"
"Yes dear, you keep telling that to yourself to make excuses as to why you'll fail your next test"
Jude was about to reply when the teacher started teaching again.
She turned to her right.
"Vincent, what in the hell is wrong with you!" She hissed
"Sorry Harrison, it looked like you were about to drool all over your binder"
"Shut up, I was not"
"So you free tonight? 'Cuz I was thinkin' maybe we could you know….jam" Spiederman's voice dropped to a whisper as his hand made it's way to her knee. Jude blushed and looked away. Things with Speed had been on and off for months. As much as they hung out, Speed never kissed her, though. She wasn't sure if she wanted to waste her time. She turned back and looked up at him. She knew that she was hanging out with Tom Quincy later that night , and she knew that she liked Quincy a lot. But she couldn't help but give in to Speed.
"How about right after school?"
"Yeah, my basement?"
"Sure…why don't we just walk?"
"Good plan"
"Whatever fliriting you two are doing back there I hope it'll help you pass your next test which is on Tuesday" the teacher yelled back to them.
Jude and Speed stopped talking but she noticed something. His hand was still on her knee….
The day finally ended and the two walked back to Speed's house, joking and laughing the whole time.
"You hungry, Harrison?"
" I think the better question is when am I not hungry?"
Speed looked up and smiled at her and shook his head.
"Good thing you have a fast metabolism Harrison, or I swear you'd weight about 400 pounds"
"Funny"
"Get a plate? They're right behind you"
Speed made nachos while Jude talked about some new songs she was thinking about.
"So yeah, it's totally awesome I'm really starting to get over the fact that I didn't make it past the first round in Instant Star"
Speed smiled. "I'm really happy for you, Jude"
She frowned. "What, you're not being you right now, what's up?"
"Uh, (cough) nothing, wanna work on a song?"
"Actually….yeah"
The two made their way down to the basement and Jude picked up Speed's acoustic guitar. He watched her and she looked up.
"What?"
"Play, duh"
She smiled, turned around took a deep breath, then turned back. She sat down on the musty green couch and looked up at Speed.
"I just wrote this like….on Tuesday so don't totally trash it, okay?"
"Jude, you know I couldn't trash your stuff, now play before the end of today?"
"Okay, here we go"
Speed watched as Jude sang softly, but powerfully….
I, started it out, on the wrong foot
Now I'm not myself…
I am Jekyll, I am Hyde
Found this place to hide
Come seek me
Oh, so up and down
So back and forth
So insecure…
Can't get this taste out of my mouth
Swallow it down, pretend…
Hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up, oh build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away,
Clear it all out just end it
I'm just a normal person
Without those problems,
When did it change?
Admissions so embarrassing,
I'm on the verge of tears again
Hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up, oh build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away,
Clear it all out just end it….
Spiederman looked at Jude with awe. What was this song about? She always had some kind of meaning to her songs. She looked up after she finished the last chorus. He noticed that tears were streaming down her face. She quickly tried to brush them away but he still saw.
"Jude…" he spoke so softly, "What was that song about"
He got up and sat on the coffee table across from her, holding her hands, his forhead pressed against hers.
"It's about…It's a-about" She stammered then took a deep breath and looked up. "It's about my dad…it's not done yet or anything"
He moved next to her. "What happened with your dad?"
She looked away and said in a barely audible whisper as tears continued to go down her cheeks. "He's having an affair"
Spiederman opened his eyes as if he were seeing Jude for the first time since he'd met her in the 3rd grade. This girl had more secrets than he could imagine.
"Oh, Speed" She turned to him and pulled him into a hug. He didn't resist, and when she pulled away from him, he finally did what he'd been meaning to do for months now…he kissed her. He was surprised, she actually kissed him back. He moved his hands around her back and she slid backwards on the coach as he moved on top her, when all of a sudden her phone rang.
"Don't pick it up" he murmured between kisses.
"I have to, it could be To-"
Jude froze and pulled away from Speed. What was she doing? She was acting like…like SADIE! She looked at her watch and back up at Speiderman. She saw the very confused look on his face. She smiled….maybe she wasn't being a tramp like Sadie…she really did like Speiderman. She moved closer and gave him a quick kiss. Her phone continued to ring, but eventually stopped.
"I have to go, but I'll talk to you later okay?"
He kissed her again.
"Okay"
Jude looked at her watch again. 4:45. She had a half hour to get to the studio…but somehow she wasn't as excited to go there as she had felt with Vince Spiederman minutes before.
Tommy had been giddy all day. He sent Sadie home early after asking her thousands of times how Jude was. She eventually got sick of him asking and took it as an opportunity to leave…not that he minded.
It was 5:05 and Jude ran into G-Major.
"Tommy?" she called out. "Great…I show up and nobody's even here" She looked around at the empty office sighed and plopped down on one of the coaches. She opened her guitar case and started playing the song she was singing earlier.
I, started it out, on the wrong foot
Now I'm not myself…
I am Jekyll, I am Hyde
Found this place to hide
Come seek me
Oh, so up and down
So back and forth
So insecure…
Can't get this taste out of my mouth
Swallow it down, pretend…
Hold it, hold it all in
Let it build up, oh build a bomb
And blow it, blow it away,
Clear it all out just end it
She closed her eyes and played guitar when she felt someone watching her. She stopped immediately and looked in front her…nobody was there. She looked behind her and saw Tommy with a man she didn't recognize standing there and smiling. She put down her guitar and walked over to them. The man she didn't recognize gave her a weird look, and she realized she'd never changed from the vintage doors shirt, black pants, cons and studs she had been wearing earlier. It didn't bother her much.
"Kwest man, this is Jude Harrison"
"I can see why Tommy's been talking about you non-stop for the past week"
Tommy shot Kwest a glare, but Jude just blushed and smiled.
"He was talking about your uh---your talent! Yep, that wonderful talent thing you have goin' on"
"Thanks…Kwest right?"
"Yeah"
"Cool" The two smiled at each other. Tommy cleared his throat.
"So, girl. You ready?"
"More ready than ever"
The trio made their way into Studio B which was already all set up.
"Jude, why don't you play that song you were singing earlier, we could barely hear it…I want Kwest to hear what you've got"
"Actually, I want to sing another song for you guys…"
"Sure, whatever you feel like tonight"
She pushed hair out of her face and smiled. She couldn't believe she was sitting in a studio with producer Tom Quincy on the other side of the glass. She started to play and sing. Louder, with more feeling, with passion.
Sappy, pathetic little meThat was the girl I used to be
You had me on my knees…
I'd trade you places any day
I never thought you could be that way
But you look like me on Sunday….
Oh, you came in with the breeze
On Sunday mornin'
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew…
I thought I knew you…
I thought I knew you well….
As she continued singing Kwest looked at Tommy in disbelief.
"Man, this girl can really sing"
"Glad you stayed man?"
"Chyeah! This girl is the real thing man, we need someone like her"
"She is, isn't she?" Kwest shook his head in disbelief and turned Jude up. "Tommy looked down at his fingers and sighed to himself as he watched the sixteen year old girl sing her heart out She's even better than the real thing.