The Hitchhikers Guide to Random Stuff!

Part 3 Entry ID 3278487538: Bathtubs

The bathtub is a extremely primitive method of becoming clean, for those beings who feel the need for hygiene. They are only well known because of the Bathtub Battles, a horrific war between two planets. Luckily it was confined to those two planets, or it would still be raging today.

The planet Mangatoon was locked in a dreadful combat with the planet Soapopera. They had completely different ideas, but mostly, and most importantly, they both loved and hated bathtubs. The people of Soapopera all agreed that being clean was the greater good. The people of Mangatoon resented this, because they smell more than the buckets of Hyena Offal that the Pogril people permanently talk about.

So they engaged in a terrible, but largely unnoticed war. Nobody cared until many ships failed to move from the pure pong of perfumes and stink combined made many of them ill. They Galactic Empire agreed that enough was enough, and decided that they wanted to put the proverbial foot down. Diverting their attention from a huge swarm of endless Lintillas, they made sure that the two countries exchanged a gift of peace. The Soapopera people sent over a present: A huge bathtub. The Mangatoons also sent a gift: A gigantic container of hyena offal. The two planets warred some more, and it looked like all hope had been lost when a young person came up with a highly expensive solution.

The planet Mangatoon was dragged through a wormhole, and sent to the opposite arm of the galaxy. When asked who would pay, the person promptly swallowed a grenade.

As some small way of remembrance, the two planets both kept each other's gifts. The king of Mangatoon often relaxes in his bathtub, and the head of Soapopera, Corrie Nation Street, always begins her day with a bath in her wonderful hyena offal.

Entry ID No 11483758937957987: The Endless Army Of Lintillas.

One of the Infinite problems we are faced with is what to do with, possibly infinite in number, Lintilla. Lintilla was a generally nice archaeologist, whom had been put into a cloning machine to make seven copies of her. Unfortunately, the machine malfunctioned, beginning a new Lintilla when it was halfway through creating the one before it, so no one could turn it off without murdering someone. Oddly, one of the Lintillas, the 20435352nd, turned it off out of spite. She said that she didn't like having someone exactly like her. But the other 20435351 didn't agree. They gathered themselves together, and decided they could all make a profit. They set up a company, Lintilla Unlimited (Limited). Now they roam the galaxy, getting every job they can so that they can make loads of Flainian Poggle beads, Altarian dollars and even 6 ningis. They are still trying to find space for a seventh. So if a nice Lintilla asks you to give her a job, run away, very fast.

Entry Id 448678: Zaphod Beeblebrox

Well, Zaphod's just this guy, you know?