Sitting in the hotel bedroom, Clara continued to let her eyes stare at the wall that joined with Alex's room. She wondered exactly what was going through his mind as she sat up in bed. She had on a pair of long checked pyjamas, her body sweating slightly in the heat, despite the air conditioning. The cheap floral duvet she had pushed back was askew at the end of the bed. Her hands ran through her hair before she took a deep breath and stood up.
She wasn't a prisoner in this hotel. She could come and go as she pleased. She had even been lucky enough to be granted a balcony outside her room. She pushed the door open, the air conditioning shutting itself off as she stepped outside. Looking around she saw nothing but trees and long grass, the night air still humid. She let out a long sigh as her arms dangled over the edge of the railing and she bowed her head. Her hair fell in her face and she almost missed the knock on the door as she continued to lose herself in a daze.
Turning her head over her shoulder, she looked to the door as another knock sounded. Moving over to the wood, she pulled it open and saw Agent Lang stood in the corridor, her gaze sympathetic as she looked to Clara. The woman let the agent in, shutting her door before looking down to her attire and Lang arched a brow.
"Can't sleep?" she wondered, noticing the open balcony door.
"Not quite," Clara said.
"Neither can he next door," Lang nodded to the wall and Clara looked away as Lang continued to speak. "I know what an addict looks like. My brother had his problems when he was younger."
Clara managed a small smile in appreciation. "My sister did too."
"Seems we both know what they're like," Lang concluded. "And I know how addicts act when they want nothing but another fix. Alex…what he said to you…I don't think he was lying about what he said."
Clara scoffed, her head shaking back and forth as she moved around the room, her arms folded over her chest. "How can I trust anything he says?"
"Because you've seen how he acts," Lang told her. "He confessed everything to me, Clara. He told me how he has been protecting you ever since Shales. He told me…he admitted it all, but it is safe with me. I have no intention of running off to Sullins with the information."
That did cause Clara to let out a dry and hollow chuckle. "He would love it," she said with a nod of her head. "He would love knowing that Alex had all of those skeletons in his closet, but…thank you."
"He's not your problem," Lang said, "despite how you feel for him."
Clara felt as though she had been having this conversation too often recently. First she had it with herself and then she had debated it with Lincoln. It took her a moment before she rolled her eyes and shook her head back and forth, hands going to her hips as she glanced to the ceiling and Lang continued speaking to her.
"I know that addicts will say what they think people want to hear," Lang said, her arms folding over her stomach. "My brother used to do it all of the time…say how much he loved me…how he would stop if he had one last use…and I get that how Alex acted in there seems like he was trying to play you."
"Wasn't he?" Clara wondered back, brow arching as she challenged Lang, not entirely convinced. "I don't know. How can I trust him? How can I trust that he is sincere when I know that all he is thinking about is getting another fix? My sister used to do it to me all of the time and I was foolish enough to buy her the drugs sometimes…but then I wised up…"
"We all do," Lang agreed with her. "But just think about it for a second. Alex jumped on the first plane back to Chicago when he found out you had been injured. He's been keeping you safe."
"That doesn't mean that he cares about me like I care about him," Clara whispered.
"Perhaps not," Lang said and Clara looked away once more, chewing down on her lip as she spoke. "But he does care in his own way. If he was trying to use your feelings for him to get him drugs then we both know it is only because he is desperate…desperate for help…help that I don't know how to give him."
"And you think I do?" Clara wondered with a shake of her head. "I had to check my sister into rehab to get her the help she needed. Alex doesn't have that luxury."
"But he is in that room next door refusing to shut up about how sorry he is," Lang responded. "I think that you might help more than you know…you seem to be one of the only things keeping him going…you…Pam and his son…listen, I have no idea what is going on in his head about how he feels-"
"-You and me both," Clara interrupted.
"But," Lang drawled out, looking to Clara with some kind of pleading stare, "if he is to get through tomorrow then I think he needs to talk to you."
Letting out a deep sigh, Clara glanced away from the intense stare that Lang was directing her before nodding her head. She reached for the key to her room and Lang let out a sigh of relief before leading her to the room next door. Clara locked the door before following Lang, realising she had no shoes on as she entered Alex's room.
He was perched on the edge of the bed, sat at the side of it and letting his eyes rest on the window. Clara took a moment to shake her head at the sight of him, a feeling of illness coming over her. The sweat dripping down his forehead was difficult to ignore and she could see that he had tugged his tie halfway down his shirt, the top three buttons undone as he held his head in his hand.
He stood up as soon as he saw Clara enter the room and she remained stood there, her face stoic as she tried not to show him how much the sight of him upset her. Instead she kept her hands by her side. Lang looked to Alex and nodded at him. She had done what he had asked of her. She had no intention of letting him out of her sight, but she knew that he needed privacy.
"I'm standing right by the door and checking on you every ten minutes," Lang informed him. "I'm serious, Alex. I brought Clara to see you…don't mess anything up."
"I won't let him," Clara was the one to speak, shooting Lang an understanding stare.
The woman nodded and moved to the doorway, leaving the room. Clara could see that the bed was still made and the food that had been ordered for Alex was untouched. She said nothing for a moment, moving to pick up a fry and pop it in her mouth. It was cold, but she didn't mind too much as Alex kept on watching her.
Sitting down on the end of the bed, Clara felt him move his hand to her arm and she almost wanted to shrug him off of her, but she let him keep his hand there instead. He leant closer to her, looking her in the eye as his other hand went to her cheek.
"I never meant it," Alex whispered to her. "I never meant to hurt you."
"You never do," Clara responded, "but you keep saying these things and I know it isn't you. It's the drugs talking."
"Then you know I never meant it," Alex said and Clara shrugged her shoulders.
"That makes it even worse," Clara said, "because I know that everything you say is a lie. Everything you tell me…how you care…how you want to keep me safe…all of that is a lie."
"No," Alex firmly responded with a shake of his head, unable to let her believe that as he moved with haste to take hold of her hand. "I do mean that, Clara. I know that I mean it."
"Do you?" Clara wondered of him as she saw his eyes widen. "Because I think as soon as you are sober…as soon as you are out of here…back in the States…then you'll forget about those feelings. It's like you said, Alex. I'm lonely. I'd guess that is why I care for you so much, but I'm not the only lonely one. You have been for weeks and maybe that's why you care about me."
Alex said nothing in response as he saw her cheeks tint red and she looked over to him, taking in his appearance before sighing and looking him in the eye, knowing exactly what she wanted to say to him as she took hold of his cheeks in her fingertips.
"What I feel is between me, myself and I," Clara said, searching his gaze. "I don't trust too easily and I don't let myself care about people either. But you…I will admit that I care, Alex…how deeply…I don't know and I don't want you to know, even if you might have your suspicions…so listen to me, Alex."
He watched her intently then as she kept her gaze stern and her face showing nothing but anguish.
"If you ever try to use my feelings for you to manipulate me and get you drugs…to play me…if you ever do that to me again then I will not forgive you again," Clara clarified and Alex nodded at her.
"I n…never…meant to do that," he stammered out to her and she kept silent as Alex continued to speak. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well," Clara said, wondering why she couldn't stay angry at him for too long as she dared to move into his bathroom, running the cold water in the sink. "I think we should just focus on making sure you can testify tomorrow?"
Alex stood up then, beginning to pace by the side of the bed once more as Clara let the water continue to run before moving out into the bedroom, pulling open the windows in his room.
"Do you think I'll be able to do it?" Alex wondered, the sleeves to his shirt uncuffed as he let his fingers play with the edges of them. Clara shrugged, opening the curtain to let the breeze in.
"I think you don't have much of a choice," she informed him, moving to unknot his tie and toss it onto the bed before wandering into the bathroom. "You just need to keep your mind on track, Alex. If you can do that then you can get through it."
"Easier said than done," he muttered.
"Most things are," Clara said, pushing the plug into the sink and letting the basin fill up with cold water. She turned the tap off when it was filled halfway. "Alex, come here."
He did as he was told, moving into the bathroom as Clara closed the toilet seat and motioned for him to sit down. He sat on it, his hands clasped together as he leant forwards and she chewed down on her lip before grabbing a cloth from the towel rail.
Dipping it into the water, she soaked it and wrung it out, leaving it damp before moving to kneel before Alex. She took hold of his wrist, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows before pressing the cloth to his wrist. He seemed to let out a moan at the relief and Clara kept the cold cloth pressed to his skin.
"You have pressure points that are supposed to cool the body," she informed him, moving to press the material to the other wrist. "I mean, it should help you to cool down quicker and hopefully stop you sweating as much as you are doing."
"Thank you," Alex said, knowing what he really wanted was drugs. He had told Lang as much when she had been in the room with him and he had tried to convince her to find him some. He had warned her that he might not be able to testify in the state he was in and that drugs would help calm him.
He would come clean once he was done testifying. He knew he had to. But until then he needed something to keep him going. He didn't mention anything to Clara, knowing full well that she would have no intention of buying him any drugs.
"Don't mention it," Clara muttered, standing up and wetting the cloth once again before wringing it out and then letting it rest on the back of his neck, no doubt wetting his collar.
He didn't complain, instead he accepted the relief the coolness brought him as he spoke in a low voice to the woman stood to the side of him and holding the cloth.
"How long does it take…you know…to get over it?" he wondered from her.
She mused for a moment. "Depends," she said, "for some people it can take longer than others. For Theresa it took her a good few months…the first few days were the hardest…we…Tom and I…had checked her into some rehabilitation centre and she was always calling me, begging for me to come and get her."
"And did you?" Alex asked as Clara found her hand moving to his hair, her fingers running through it in a slow motion as she tried to soothe him.
"No," she responded. "We couldn't go and get her, Alex. She needed to do it. If I went and took her away then she would have snuck out of my sight and gone for more."
"When did she stop calling?" Alex wondered, voice hoarse.
"She didn't," Clara said, "but slowly the topic of conversations changed. She would go from begging me to come for her…to complaining about how difficult it was…and then she would say how she knew she had a problem and how sorry she had been for treating me like she had done. I think that was the hardest part…the acceptance of knowing you have a problem."
"I know it," Alex responded as Clara looked down to the top of his head. "I just can't do anything about it."
"You can and you will," Clara said to him. "You have no choice in the end, Alex. You either change or let it destroy you. I don't think you want that."
She said nothing further as she heard the door open and Lang entered the suite, rushing to the bathroom and looking to the two of them.
"Sullins is here," she informed them.
And a minute later the door opened again and Sullins walked in, his eyes glimmering with some kind of wonder as he saw Alex sat on the toilet seat with Clara stood to the side of him. Gone was the sarcastic tone in his voice as he looked to Alex and then back to Clara.
"What is going on here?" he asked. "What is wrong with you, Alex?"
"I'm nervous," Alex answered.
"And he might have had some dodgy food," Clara continued covering for him as Sullins glanced over to her and she moved the cloth to the cold water again, dunking it.
"I mean," Alex said, voice stammering slightly, "my life is on the line here."
"What?" Sullins asked back from him. "Alex, I have seen you go in front of the world's press hundreds of times and you've never been nervous. You don't do nervous."
"Well, the situation is a little bit different," Clara was the one to declare, eyeing Sullins with suspicion. "He'll be fine by the morning. I'll just-"
"-What?" Sullins interrupted, "continue to play nurse for your little boyfriend?"
"Do you ever get tired of acting like an arse?" Clara finally snapped at him, tired of his tone as she let her eyes move to glower at him. "Listen, he's sick. Just accept it and leave him alone. He's agreed to testify and he will do, but you don't need to laud it over him all of the time."
Sullins seemed to grow angry at hearing that as Clara arched her brow, waiting for the repercussions of her comments. But nothing came. Instead Sullins pointed his finger at her from where he stood in the doorway of the bathroom.
"You're on dangerous ground, Miss Reynolds," he told her.
"I doubt it," she responded and Sullins turned to leave the room as Lang took a deep breath and Alex let out a throaty chuckle once the door had closed.
"Best thing I've seen in a long time," he declared.
"Okay," Clara said, moving to grip his arms. "Let's try and get you some sleep."
Moving with Alex back into the bedroom, Clara plumped up the pillows before Alex collapsed onto the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, picking up a glass of water that was on the bedside table and taking a sip of it before putting it back. She startled for a moment when she felt Alex's hand on the small of her back and she turned her head over her shoulder to look to him.
"What is it?" Clara wondered from him.
"You should get some sleep," Alex whispered, looking slightly less sweaty as Clara chuckled and Lang remained in the room, perched on the sofa.
"I'm fine here," she told him. "Just try to rest and I'll be here."
Moving from the side of the bed, she went to sit on the other end of the sofa to Lang. She pulled her legs up to her chest and shut her eyes, wondering just how horrible the following day was going to be.
…
Clara had taken a seat on the chair next to Alex's as they sat in the courthouse the following morning, a panel sat before them declaring how they were at an international hearing that the United States had requested. Clara could see how Alex was still shaking, his eyes flitting around the room as he sat in the smart suit that Sullins had leant him.
He was sipping nervously on his water as Clara sat on his other side, longing to do something to make him stop his current agitated state. Instead she could only keep her gaze on him as it was declared how both of them would testify. It was then when Clara saw him move his hand to his wrist and she saw him scratch at it. Slowly, it began to bleed and her eyes widened as Sullins caught the motion.
Moving with haste, Clara tried to act subtly as she took his wrist away from the hand scratching at it, her fingers moving around his to stop him from causing anymore damage. Sullins muttered something under his breath as Clara's grip on Alex remained tight and her gaze went to the men before her as they spoke.
"Mr. Mahone," one declared, "when were you first contacted by an agent…or someone else…who worked for The Company?"
Alex nodded his head as Clara looked to him. "They told me that I had to kill the Fox River Eight…that if I didn't then they would kill my wife and kid. They wanted them all dead because they had been with Scofield when he made the escape…so The Company didn't know what they knew."
"Calm down," Clara urged in a small voice as the man leading the panel looked over to her.
"And Miss Reynolds, when did they first contact you?" he asked of her.
Clara knew that she had to lie. She had to lie to conceal the secret of Shales and maintain the lie she had spun Wheeler. She knew that was necessary. As she spoke, she kept her voice even as her hand remained on Alex's wrist.
"Alex told me what he had to do one evening. I cannot remember the exact date…only that it was the date when he was giving a press conference about the Fox River Eight," Clara declared. "We had been…well…we stayed in contact ever since we met a year ago. It was all private and quiet, but when he told me what he had to do then The Company became worried. They thought I might be a threat to him…that I might hinder him from doing what he had to do. One night, an Agent Kellerman found us at Alex's office and he told me that The Company had eyes on my ex-fiance…Tom…that they would hurt him if I went to the police."
Looking through the notes, the man nodded at hearing that. "Agent Kellerman did attest to that."
Clara sighed in relief, wondering if Kellerman had said anything about Shales, but apparently he had kept that man out of it. Saying nothing as the man looked back to Alex, Clara could see him beginning to get even more nervous as she moved her hand from his and poured him another drink, sliding it over to him.
"Is this correct, Mr. Mahone?" the man wondered.
"Yeah," Alex nonchalantly declared to him. "It's correct…all of it…it's like this mess of lies…and a web…they find the people you care about and they make sure you know about it…"
"Mr. Mahone, I need you to keep your answers to the question."
"But, don't you see?" Alex responded. "It's all a web…all of it…and Michael Scofield knows it…so does Lincoln Burrows." His hands fumbled with the water as Clara bowed her head, knowing that he was ruining this for himself.
"Mr. Mahone," the man behind the bench sighed, "you still haven't told us when The Company first made contact with you."
"I cannot remember," Alex answered honestly, looking to the man with wide eyes as Clara glanced over to him. "I mean…they could be in contact with you…or you with them…and you would never know."
He went silent for a minute as the men in front of him seemed to take a deep breath and look exhausted.
"It all sounds crazy," Alex said. "I know that. I know that it is crazy and I know that you might not understand it…but it is true. The government…the very same thing I worked for all of my life…it blackmailed me…made me do things I didn't want to do…hurt people I care about…just to keep my family safe."
Everyone looked to Alex as he began to warm up and Clara sighed, shaking her head back and forth.
"I know he sounds crazy," Clara said, hoping that her voice was reasonable, "but he is telling the truth. I met with Agent Kellerman, as we have assessed, and he told me about how Alex had a job to do. The evidence has to be there…Kellerman's testimony…I…I told Agent Sullins and Lang what they did to me. I have the evidence of it on my back."
"And we have heard," the man declared, "but I am afraid Mr. Mahone really needs to testify himself, Miss Reynolds. You cannot do it on his behalf, despite what you claim to know."
It was then when Clara knew that any chance they had of getting out of this mess was well and truly gone. Alex was given no option but to leave the room, Lang escorting him out as Clara followed. Both of them took a seat in the corridor on the wooden bench as Lang went back in, cuffing Alex first while Clara buried her face in her hands.
"I'm sorry," Alex told her.
"You don't need to apologise to me," Clara responded with a firm shake of her head, her hands going to push her hair behind her ears before pulling at the grey fitted dress she wore. "This was your chance to leave Sona."
"But you organised it," Alex said. "You made them come and I ruined it."
"I know," Clara agreed with him.
"They're going to send me back," Alex said, voice shaking as his leg continued to jump up and down while his foot tapped the floor. "I'm going to go back."
"What happens then?" Clara was the one to wonder as Alex shrugged at her.
"No idea," he mumbled. "Michael…he told Lechero about me…about how I was the one to kill this guy who had been spying on Whistler. He was going to ruin our plan. He knew too much…claimed that he knew Whistler from the Embassy. Scofield went and told Lechero that I killed him and you're not allowed to do that. You can't kill unless you have his permission."
Clara tried to absorb all of that information, most of it making no sense to her as an armed guard came to stand outside and make sure they didn't escape. Clara looked down to the intricate carpet beneath their feet before shaking her head.
"I told them everything," Clara said. "I wrote down what had happened."
"You only told them what I told you," Alex said, still tapping his foot. "For all you know I could have been working with The Company…for all they know I could have been…besides…they think we've been seeing each other. Your testimony is biased based on that fact."
"It's so unfair," Clara mumbled, unable to stop herself and aware of how much of a whinging child she sounded like. "I…I just know that it is unfair."
She said nothing further as felt Alex's cuffed hands move to take one of hers. She looked down at the contact before he spoke in a soft and urging tone.
"Go home," he told her. "You're free from all this now. Just go home."
She bit down on her tongue, not wanting to tell him how she had no desire to go home. Instead she remained silent as she let him keep hold of her hand. It took another ten minutes before the doors opened and the panel came out. Alex didn't bother to look at them as Clara did. She saw Lang move over to her, their gaze showing understanding.
"I'm sorry," Lang said as she came to stand before both of them. "Alex…I'm going to have to take you back to Sona."
"But I told the truth," Clara said, refusing to drop the subject as Lang spoke.
"They couldn't fully believe you thanks to your past with Alex," Lang said. "Besides, a lot of what you told us was based on what Alex had told you. For all they know Alex could be lying to you."
Saying nothing further, Clara shook her head as Alex began to stand and she did the same, his hand still in hers as he moved swiftly, bending down to peck his lips against her cheek as he whispered to her. "Thank you," he spoke in a hushed voice before Lang nodded at him to walk forwards and his hands left Clara's as he began to make the journey back to Sona.
…
Lincoln was exhausted after everything that had happened. The Company had come after them and Sofia had told him how Whistler was not the man she thought he was. Lincoln and Sucre had gone into the woods to purchase a cabin, setting the escape plan into motion. Lincoln had gone back to the hotel that evening, drained beyond belief. As he settled in for the evening, he expected Sucre to return soon. The knock on the door alerted him to someone there. He thought that it had to be Sucre who had forgotten his key.
But when he came to the door, he hardly expected to see the sight he saw. She was panting for breath, hands wrapped around the doorframe. The grey dress she wore was creased and her hair a mess on top of her head as her gaze met Lincoln's and he arched a brow with intrigue.
"I want to help," she said, voice hoarse as he noticed her wet eyes.
He wondered what the hell had happened to her as he spotted a rip in the bottom of her dress and a cut on her forearm.
"I want to help you go against The Company."
...
A/N: Thanks to Evie and Miss Hodgehog for reviewing! Do let me know what you think if you're reading!