(AN: I'm sorry for not updating this sooner—it's actually sooner than I usually do, because it normally takes me about a month to update… but I've been trying to update this thing for about a week now and have had horrible writer's block! Well, anyhoo, I'm glad that I finally got this chapter out, because I'm going to be leaving for college in less than a week and don't really know how much time I'll have to write. (Probably a lot more than I do now, but whatever…) So here's chapter three—thanks so much for the reviews, Skyhiatrist, Shizzle, WLiiAfanatic, Fairy1234, Trixie21, Band Geek 727, yakko's gal, Live2Write4Ever, and Faye Lunacorn! You're all that and a box of Cheez-Its.)
O.o.O
"Did you know," said Cosmo to his companion, who was now fashioning a noose out of a random rope he had, "Wanda and I were friends all through high school?"
The man gave Cosmo a rather pathetic, "mercy-I-beg-of-you" look. "Well then, I bet she made a lot of these during high school…"
Cosmo laughed out loud. "What, necklaces, you mean? Noooo! Wanda never wore jewelry. But anyway, like I was saying, I think it's time for another flashback… CUE THE SCENE BREAK!"
O.o.O
It was Saturday… quite possibly Cosmo's favorite day. He didn't have to go to school, he could just spend the entire day with Wanda!
Now in high school, Cosmo hadn't gotten much smarter, although thanks to Wanda's patient tutoring, he was still with all the kids his age at school. He had grown rather tall but was rather skinny and clumsy. His green hair had grown even messier throughout the years, making him look quite out of place with the clean cut look that all the other kids had—it was the early 1960's, after all.
He was sitting on that same stump outside of his house that he had sat on waiting for the bus every day since the first day of school. But today, of course, was Saturday, and right now, Cosmo was counting the army of ants below him. Not an easy task, even for someone with a longer attention span than Cosmo.
"Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty—wait, I already counted that one! Where was I? Oh yeah, twenty-four, thirty-eight, nine hundred seventy-two! Ooh look, a dime!"
He leaned over to pick it up… and then fell off the stump.
"Whee, that was fun! Let's do it again!" he cried, his face covered with ants.
"Hey Cosmo!"
Cosmo stood up, brushing the ants off of his face. Half skipping, half running down the street was Wanda, in her simple dress just below the knees, her long hair free and flying behind her.
"Wanda!" cried Cosmo. "Hey, want an ant? Or a dime?"
"Well…" Wanda deliberated for a moment. "I'll take the dime."
"Okay!" Cosmo dropped it into Wanda's hand. He looked at her other hand, which was clutching a letter. "What's that you're holding?"
Wanda grinned. "That's what I came here to tell you about." She opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. "I've been accepted to that high-end college I applied to!"
"Coo-al!" cried Cosmo happily. "Which one did you apply too? I need to go there too!"
Wanda's face fell. "Uh, Cosmo… it's an all-girls school…"
"Oh…" Cosmo considered this. "Well, I could disguise myself as a girl!" he finally said, pulling out an outrageous green wig, a frilly dress, and lots of makeup.
"Cosmo… you can't come with me."
"But…" Cosmo's lip quivered. "But I need you, Wanda! You can't leave me here! You're my only friend—"
"And I'll always be your friend, Cosmo," interrupted Wanda, sliding her arm through his.
Cosmo smiled and sighed, sounding as though he were in pure bliss. "I'll always be your friend too, Wanda," he said to her, giving her that same smile that both pleased and puzzled Wanda. Cosmo continued. "And even though you'll be far away from me, I'll come and visit you every chance I—OUCH!" A rock thrown against his head prematurely ended his conversation.
"Oh great, not you guys again!" shrieked Wanda at the boys, the same ones from their childhood, laughed and jumped into their car. "Can't you ever just—"
The car revved up violently.
Wanda's face turned white. "Run, Cosmo, run!" she cried, pushing Cosmo to a start.
"Okay!" Wanda's command was all Cosmo needed. He was off like a shot down the road.
"His legs sure are faster than his brain is!" laughed one of the boys in the car. They shot past Wanda, although she was running too.
"Run, Cosmo, ruuun!" she shouted again, although it seemed doubtful that Cosmo could even hear her, as he was about one hundred yards away and had just jumped a fence on the side of the road.
Well, thought Wanda to herself, that should stop those creeps from following him…
Not so. The car tore through an area where there was no fence at all and continued following Cosmo through the field.
"God, he is so dead," moaned Wanda.
O.o.O
Cosmo, however, wasn't dead. All he needed was for Wanda to say so, and by God, he did it! And if she wanted him to run fast, then he would!
He was back on a road, running, but the guys had followed him all through that field and were still keeping up.
"Jeez!" gasped Cosmo. "They—pant—must—pant—be—pant—breaking—pant—a lot of—pant pant—driving laws!"
Despite his speed of running when Wanda told him to do so, that car was catching up on him, and fast. Desperately, Cosmo tried to kick in the afterburners—but he just slowed down out of fatigue—he had used up all his fuel back in the field, it seemed.
The car was now just inches behind Cosmo and, thinking fast (Whee, I'm getting smarter! he thought proudly to himself), abruptly turned ninety degrees to the right and continued running… straight through a football field. And the team was practicing that day.
"Alright, men, put your backs into it! You're playing like a bunch of girls!" yelled the coach with a pre-women's lib comment to his team.
The play began and the quarterback threw the ball to a teammate. The other practice team immediately sprinted after the guy with the ball… and so did some guy with green hair… in fact, he ran past everybody…
The coach stared. "Who in the hell is that?" he asked his assistant coach.
"Oh, that there's Cosmo Uhsmith," said the assistant coach dryly. "Just a local idiot."
Cosmo, having long since passed the guy with the ball, ran across the goal line. The guy with the ball just stopped and gawked… and then was suddenly tackled.
"Now, you probably wouldn't believe it if I told you… but I'm gonna tell you anyway!" laughed Cosmo. "You see, I didn't think I'd ever get into ANY college, because I wasn't smart enough, but I actually did! I got to play football in high school, and I even got to go to college for it!"
Cosmo stood blankly on the college football field, the huge crowd cheering exuberantly. One of his teammates darted to him and passed him the ball. "Run, Uhsmith!"
"Uh…" Cosmo hesitated. It was one thing running for Wanda, but running for a guy he really didn't know all that well?
"RUN!"
"Okay, okay!" Cosmo tore down the field, desperately remembering, like so many times before, what his coach had told him—"When you get the ball, run to our goal line and don't let anyone from the other team knock you down!"
So he ran… got a little sidetracked, nearly ran off the side, everyone yelled and pointed him the right way, he ran past the goal line, still holding the ball, he continued running, he ran right threw the marching band that was getting ready, he ran out of the stadium…
"They even put me on this thing called the All-American team, where you get to meet the president!" said Cosmo. "Now, at the White House, they have a lot of free food, and free Dr. Peppers…"
Cosmo, dressed in his best suit, was gazing lovingly at the food laid before him—all the CHEESE! The rows and rows of cheese! He popped in one, and another, and another…
"Well, I just couldn't let all that cheese just SIT there! And oh boy, was it TASTY! If being president means you get to have cheese like that every day, then I would love that job! Except… I don't think I'd like all that speech-making they have to do. But anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the cheese! Well, I ate so much of that cheese, I needed stuff to drink it down too, and so I must've drunk about fifteen Dr. Peppers!"
But now, just mere moments after drinking his last Dr. Pepper and feeling like he really, REALLY needed to make a pit stop, Cosmo was suddenly pushed into a line and had to move up, little by little, as everyone ahead of him shook the president's hand…
"Congratulations, how does it feel to be an All-American?"
"Very good, sir."
"Congratulations, how does it feel to be an All-American?"
"It's an honor sir."
It was now Cosmo's turn. President Kennedy gave Cosmo's hand a firm grasp. "Congratulations. How do you feel?"
Cosmo quickly weighed two opposing forces in his head—weather he should be polite, or honest. He went with honesty.
"I REALLY HAVE TO PEE!" he screamed, tearing off to the bathroom.
Laughing through the dust Cosmo kicked up, Kennedy quipped, "Did you hear that? I believe he said he has to go pee."
O.o.O
"Someone shot that nice president," said Cosmo with a sigh. "And then, a few years later, someone else shot his brother, too. I wonder what it would be like, having a brother? Well, if it means you get shot, then I'm glad I don't have one." He paused for a moment, thinking to himself.
"College was kinda confusing, and lonely," he finally continued. Suddenly, a bus rolled up, cutting him off.
His seating companion looked at the bus gratefully. "That's my bus… thank God…"
"Okay!" said Cosmo. "It was nice talking to you!"
The man stood up and made a run for the bus, nearly tripping and falling into the open door. A woman who had been sitting on the other side of the man, thus not having been noticed by Cosmo until just now, scooted over. She was a few years younger than Cosmo and was holding a small boy in her lap, straightening his shirt.
"I think it is for everybody," she said to Cosmo.
"What is?" Cosmo asked innocently.
"College," said the woman. "You know, you said it was a confusing time in your life."
"Oh yeah!" The departure of his first companion had almost gotten Cosmo completely off track of his story. Almost—but not quite. "Did you go to a boys' and girls' college, or just girls'?"
"It was coed," said the woman.
Cosmo furiously searched his memory banks, trying to remember what "coed" meant. "Oh!" he said finally, giving up. "Well, Wanda went to an all girls' school, like I said earlier, which meant we couldn't go to college together. But I went and visited her every chance I got!"
O.o.O
It was late evening. The wind was cold, the sky was dark blue, almost black, and the atmosphere gave off a generally lonely feeling. The rain didn't help cheer things up, either.
Cosmo leaned against the side of the dorm building, sheltered under the awning above the door. He was waiting for Wanda. He had seen her roommate, who said that she was out with a friend but should be back soon before yelling that he was a guy and wasn't allowed in an all-girls' dorm.
So Cosmo stood outside, shivering from underneath his letter jacket, sporting the football letter that Cosmo had so strangely received in high school.
The slosh of wheels on wet pavement brought his attention to a car that had just rolled in. Cosmo squinted in the window—yes, that was Wanda in there! Wanda with…
He gulped. She was in there with a really handsome guy—medium length honey-blonde hair framing his handsome, chiseled face. And he could faintly hear a love song coming from the car… he could see the faint, blurred forms of Wanda and that striking boyfriend of hers making out… the boyfriend pushed Wanda against the car door, hard…
No, that was too hard to be an accident!
Forgetting the rain, Cosmo jumped up and ran to the car, almost ripping the door off. He grabbed the guy by the shirt collar and pulled him out roughly.
All his football training had made Cosmo, while not necessarily buff, stronger than one would think from his skinny frame. Still, though, Wanda's good-looking boyfriend was stronger than Cosmo was, and the two struggled for a few moments… very brief moments. For Cosmo had suddenly remembered a bit of "unsportsmanlike conduct" that had gotten a lot of his teammates in trouble.
Cosmo jammed his kneed up, right between the guy's legs, hitting his "private part" dead-on.
And suddenly, for the first time, Cosmo became aware that Wanda was yelling something.
"Cosmo! What are you doing?" she screeched as her boyfriend fell in a heap on her lap, rather inhibiting her progress of getting out.
"Who is this guy?" cried her outraged boyfriend, pointing an accusing finger at Cosmo.
"He's an old friend of mine, he doesn't know any better—"
"Get out of my car!"
"Cougar, wait! Don't do this to me!" cried Wanda, feebly, I might add, as Cougar pushed her out of his car with ease. "Don't leave—"
The door slammed and Cougar drove away faster than you could say "jello monkey".
Pushing her hair out of her eyes, Wanda marched towards Cosmo, who was standing by a tree dumbly. "Cosmo! What are you doing here? Why did you do that?"
Cosmo stared at the ground, not knowing what to say. He had obviously done something wrong. Wanda evidently liked that Cougar guy's company… even though he hurt her! But… but did that mean Wanda liked to be hurt? No, no, that wasn't true! Cosmo just couldn't stand back and let someone hurt her!
"He hurt you," Cosmo mumbled inaudibly.
"It didn't hurt that bad," snapped Wanda. "And he didn't mean to, either."
"If I were kissing you, I'd be so careful I wouldn't even bump you," he whispered.
Wanda froze. Well, what could she say to that? She knew it was true—Cosmo had always been so gentle with her, that even if they were dating, if they were making out, even if they were making love, Cosmo would handle her like a precious porcelain object… not that rough treatment she was so used to by her other boyfriends.
It would be NICE to be treated that way, she suddenly found herself thinking.
"I know, Cosmo," she finally said with a sigh.
"What's the matter?" Cosmo asked, having detected the sigh.
"Nothing, just… I can't stay mad at you for very long, that's all." She almost smiled at him.
Cosmo did smile. "Yay! I can't stay mad at you long either… actually, I'm not sure if I've ever been mad at you…"
"What about that time I laughed when you spilled your lunch tray all over yourself?" said Wanda, unsuccessfully trying to hold back a giggle. "The day they served chili? You looked so ridiculous!"
Cosmo thought about this. "Yeah, I guess I was kinda mad at you that day."
The rain was still coming down strong. Wanda pulled a wet strand of hair from her eyes. "Let's get out of this rain, shall we?"
O.o.O
"I can't take off my clothes in front of you, Wanda! You're a girl and I'm a guy!"
Wanda sighed and smiled. Boy, did Cosmo have a lot to learn about the world. "It's just to dry them, Cosmo. You don't want to sit around in wet clothes, do you?" She pulled off her wet blouse and skirt. Cosmo quickly averted his gaze.
The two were in Wanda's small, cluttered dorm room, filled with books, dirty clothes, and half-eaten food items. Cosmo sat on the bed, shivering and chattering his teeth loudly. Wanda sighed and grabbed two towels from a dresser.
"Come on, Cosmo. You're going to catch pneumonia if you stay in those." After hanging her own soaking clothes to dry, she sat down next to Cosmo, handing him a towel. Cosmo shivered again, every bit as much from seeing so much of Wanda's flesh as from the cold.
"W-what's pneumonia?" he asked.
"It's like a cold, only worse. You wouldn't get to play football," she added, smiling wily at him.
"Oh… okay." Cosmo took off his shirt and quickly wrapped himself in the towel, but it was still enough time for Wanda to get a good look at his chest. She viewed him in awe, not having realized how much muscle that football training had endowed upon Cosmo. True, he was no hulking muscular hunk. However, those muscles seemed to give his lean, slender body a sort of grace and form that Wanda couldn't help but stare at.
"Hmm… you look good, Cosmo," she said.
Cosmo finally looked her in the eyes, doing his utmost to not look at her bra as his gaze averted upward. "What?"
"You're really attractive," she said with a sly smile. "I'll bet you've got a lot of girls fawning over you at the university."
"Not… not really…" It took everything in Cosmo's power to say something, anything to her, for his mind was still embracing those four words… "You look good, Cosmo."
She thought he was attractive! She had a gorgeous boyfriend like that Cougar guy, and then she called him attractive. Cosmo had to stop himself from singing. Oh, long had he hoped for Wanda to say that! Long had he gazed upon her, finding her too beautiful for words, but never had he expected her to think he looked good!
Seeing Cosmo's beaming smile, Wanda smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm surprised," she murmured, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
Now twice as elated as he was before, Cosmo held Wanda in his arms too, and the two rocked each other…
…much to the horror and disgust of Wanda's roommate.
O.o.O
(AN: Another chapter down! Don't know how much time college will give me to update, but I would think it would probably be about the same as high school did. So hopefully I'll be able to update soon!)