Settling down in the small, intimate parlour, Laszlo had to confess that he would have preferred to meet somewhere that might be considered busier. He looked at the absinthe in front of him and wondered when the last time he had drank such a drink had been. He had been early for his meeting with Karen, but she had been even earlier. He had entered the dark and atmospheric building, seeing her in the distance on a small raised platform. Laszlo made his way over to her, seeing that she had already ordered them drinks. Removing his coat, he allowed a waiter to take it from him and hang it up, leaving his cane by the side of the chair.
"I was shocked to receive your call," Karen admitted to Laszlo and he arched a brow at her. "I had heard what happened…about how your adopted daughter is in the hospital."
"Things have been particularly challenging," Laszlo simply offered her, not sure what more he could say on the matter. "Charlotte, while I have yet to adopt her, is…well…I care for her as a father does a daughter."
"I can imagine."
Karen reached for the glass in front of her, taking a sip of the absinthe as she listened to the buzz around the room, seeing Laszlo glance around almost awkwardly. She suspected that this was not the usual type of establishment that he frequented.
"It is rather intimate here," Karen declared, Laszlo finishing his glancing around and letting his eyes settle back on her as she leant forwards slightly. "And I know that it is not Delmonico's, but I quite enjoy dining alone on occasion…and often I drink alone."
"I used to," Laszlo said to her.
"But that changed when you married?" she asked from him, hands going to smooth out the skirts of the black and white striped dress she wore. She leant back once again, lifting a hand and waving it in the air nonchalantly. "I don't think there is anyone in New York who hasn't heard of your wife, Doctor Kreizler…did they not label her as the 'doctor's mistress' at one stage?"
"Amongst worse things," Laszlo grunted out and shook his head as Karen shrugged her shoulders.
"The way women are treated compared to men would almost be laughable if it weren't so tragic," she declared. "Tell me, how is your wife? I imagine she must be besides herself after Charlotte's accident."
Laszlo shifted in his seat then, looking down to the table as Karen picked up on his expression. He looked tired, almost emotionally drained. He seemed particularly flat compared to when she had met him for the first time. She wondered what, exactly, it was that he wanted from her. She didn't push him, choosing to bide her time and keep quiet, waiting to see what he would say as he gathered his thoughts.
"While it is known that Charlotte is in hospital, the fact is that she didn't have an accident…well…she did, but one that was caused by Libby Hatch breaking into our hotel room. I confess that you are here because of her."
"And who is she?"
"A woman who has been taking young babies from the hospital she works in. She has killed at least one of those infants."
"Infanticide?" Karen checked. "How very odd."
"But she's progressed," Laszlo said to Karen, reaching into his pocket and sliding across drawings that Sara had given him from the crime scene with the matron. Karen picked them up and observed them intimately, a finger going to the collar of her dress on her neck and tugging at it.
"And how does this link to your family?" Karen questioned, picking her gaze up from the drawings and looking back to Laszlo who, once again, was looking down. His eyes picked up, peering over to her and his lips parted as he let his gaze flicker over her features, noting the rouge on her cheeks and the loose curl behind her ear.
"Libby Hatch, to put a long story short, intended to kidnap our newborn baby, Lucy," Laszlo said and Karen's breath hitched for a moment, the drawings sitting on the table and her hands on top of them. "We knew that someone had been watching our house and so Elizabeth…she pretended to leave the city."
"I saw that in the socialite column of the Times."
"But she was in a hotel. She would not go…because I insisted on staying and working the case," Laszlo said and Karen picked up on the way he cleared his throat, almost as though he was trying to keep his voice from breaking. "Libby discovered what hotel she was staying in and attempted to take Lucy. She failed, but Charlotte was injured in the process, hence why she is in hospital."
"My God, Laszlo," Karen said, the shock audible and genuine in her tone. "I am so sorry."
Laszlo gave a curt nod at her comment. "She is currently unconscious and they cannot say for certain when she will wake up…or even if she will wake up."
It was the first time Laszlo had admitted to himself that there might be a chance that Charlotte didn't wake up. Doctor Phillips had told them, of course, but Elizabeth had stormed out of the room as soon as he had said those words, choosing not to listen to him or even think the worst. In her eyes, Charlotte would wake up. There was no other alternative. Laszlo, on the other hand, was not like his wife. He understood medicine. He understood how the human body, perhaps not as well as the mind, worked. He knew all of that and that was why he was the one who had listened to Doctor Phillips explain the potential complications that could arise.
"That is horrible, Laszlo," Karen said and she moved her hand out, letting her fingers rest on top of the back of his. It was a comforting touch. It was meant to offer him some kind of tenderness. And that was something he hadn't had in recent days. His wife had barely looked at him, let alone touched him, before he came out tonight.
But he was hurting too. He knew that Elizabeth had gone through the adoption process and bonded with Charlotte when she first met her. He knew that there was a special connection there. But he cared about the little girl just as much as she did. She had a place in his heart and his affection for her was clear as day. They might never have wanted to replace her parents, but they still viewed her as their daughter. She was a part of their family.
"Yes," was all that Laszlo could say, feeling her squeeze his hand before she retracted her touch from his.
"I hope that she will make it through. Children can often be more resilient than we think," Karen said and he knew that she was trying to be optimistic. She was trying to make him feel better, but he didn't know if it would work. He didn't know if anything would truly work. "And no doubt you and your wife are able to comfort each other during this time."
There was a nervous chuckle then and Karen wondered what had caused that. Laszlo had let it out before he could even stop himself, licking his lips together and looking to the ceiling. He would have thought that would have happened to. He would have hoped, anyway.
"I overstepped," Karen said when she saw him blink profusely, almost as though he was trying to keep his emotions in check. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head and reached for his glass, taking a sip of the absinthe himself, the taste quite strong and burning in his throat. He lowered the glass back down with a soft thud onto the table and scratched at his chin for a moment.
"You have no reason to apologise," Laszlo said to her. "Elizabeth is…I used to think that I knew everything about her. I used to think that I was able to read her quite well. But I wonder if that was the case."
Karen picked her next words carefully, once again, not wanting to upset of cause any anguish for Laszlo. "Traumatic events can often cause people to behave differently. Trauma is…it is different for each of us."
"I am aware of that," Laszlo said. "But perhaps I have overstepped the mark. My marriage is something that I often prefer to keep private."
And that much was true. The only person Laszlo had dared to confide in had been Sara. But here he was, sat in front of Karen and was ready to spill everything to her. He was ready to tell her his own feelings and his own concerns. He suspected it was because she was similar to him. Perhaps she might be able to shed light on why Elizabeth was acting the way she was? Perhaps she could be able to give him an answer that he was missing to help his wife and stop her from closing herself off to him? But he knew that he was grasping. He was clutching for answers.
"I understand, but you should be aware that it can help to gain an outside perspective and to talk to someone with no prior knowledge."
"Perhaps so, but these are things I need to discuss with Elizabeth."
"Then you should have that conversation sooner rather than later," Karen said, almost with a knowing nod of her head. "So, I suspect there is a reason why you invited me here?"
"Indeed," Laszlo concurred with her. "It is related to Libby Hatch. I confess that there are many facets of the female mind that I am unable to decipher. I think I have made that much apparent through what I have said just now, but I need to find Libby. I need to find her in case she decides to try and come back…to try and take our daughter again."
Karen arched a brow. "And you wish for me to be your sounding board?"
She picked her drink up again and took a sip, Laszlo letting his fingers drum against the glass that he was holding.
"If you would be so kind," Laszlo said to her, tilting his head to the side. "Once I think I understand this woman, she does something else. She…"
"Surprises you?" Karen finished off and Laszlo nodded.
"Exactly that," he agreed with her, keeping his voice low. "And that is why I require the help of a colleague."
"A colleague?" she echoed back, her own lips tugging upwards slightly. She had only just met this man and already he viewed her as a colleague. Laszlo let out a nervous chuckle at that, but nodded his head, confirming what he had just said.
"Then I suppose that, as a colleague, I can act as your sounding board."
"Thank you," Laszlo said with a nod of his head and the two exchanged another look between each other, one of complete and utter understanding.
…
Elizabeth had no idea where Laszlo was. It was late at night and he hadn't returned to the hospital. She had been sat in her spot, rocking Lucy before letting her sleep and then talking to Charlotte, knowing that she couldn't hear her. He had told her that his meeting with Professor Stratton wouldn't take too long, but he had been gone for over five hours.
She had paced nervously for a while before asking a nurse if she could use a phone out of urgency. She had called the house, but there had been no answer. She had then bitten down on her tongue, holding Lucy to her chest as she knew who she had to call next. She had called Sara's office, but once again, there had been no response. Why would there have been? It was almost midnight. She called John's house, but again, no response. None of them were answering their phones, which meant that none of them were where they usually were. Sara's house was also empty.
Where could he have gone? What had happened? Was it something bad? Elizabeth didn't know and she could hardly think of what it was she should do. She could go running off into the street with Lucy in her grip to try and find him, but would that be any good? Would she be able to find anything?
It was gone four in the morning when he made his appearance, looking dishevelled with his hair falling from its usually slicked back style and into his face. His coat was over his arm and his tie was undone. Elizabeth stood up and moved over to the doorway, launching herself into his arms without any thinking. Her arms wrapped around his neck and Laszlo tossed his coat to the chair at the side. He moved his own arms around her waist, his cheek pressing to the top of her head.
"Where the hell have you been?" she mumbled against his neck, a hand tangling into his hair to keep him against her.
"John called me," Laszlo said in a gruff voice. "Sara found Libby with Goo Goo Knox. She followed her to an abandoned house and found the Linares baby there."
"Alive?" Elizabeth asked, pulling back from him and he nodded down to her.
"Alive," he echoed for her.
"And Sara?"
"She is fine," Laszlo promised her. "I took her to the Linares household to reunite baby Ana with her parents before returning here. I should have called or sent word. I didn't mean to worry you."
"I tried calling everyone," Elizabeth said, pulling back and brushing her hair from her face, an arm still around his neck as her other hand then went to his upper arm. "John…Sara…even the house…but there was nothing. I didn't know what to do. I…I thought that something bad might have happened, Laszlo. I thought that you might be hurt."
"I'm fine," Laszlo promised her, his hand moving to cup her cheek and allow his thumb to run over her cheekbone. "I'm here and I'm fine."
Elizabeth nodded, finally controlling her breathing. She had been so anxious. Her entire evening had been spent in a blind panic, longing to find Laszlo and bring him back to her. She just wanted him safe after everything that had happened.
Laszlo did not tell her about his near escape with one of Goo Goo's men. She didn't need to worry anymore and Laszlo had no intention of causing her anymore stress. He felt her pull back from him and she turned to move back into the room as Lucy began crying. Bending down, she picked their daughter up, once again holding her to her chest, her cheek pressed to her heart as she hummed and looked out of the window.
"She got away, didn't she?"
Laszlo's mouth dried out as he moved further into the room and stood a few paces behind his wife, looking at her back and wondering what it was she was thinking. She must have been able to read him better than he had thought because he had been trying to find the words to tell her that Libby had, indeed, got away from them.
"We'll keep looking," Laszlo promised his wife in a low voice.
She only nodded once and he saw her bow her head, kissing Lucy on the top of hers and then moving to sit back down. Laszlo sighed at the sight of her and he went to take his space in the chair next to her, a hand going to her arm. She didn't shrug him off, but she didn't encourage him to move his hand to grasp hers either. She simply sat there and resumed her staring.
…
Charlotte had been moved back to their home the following day, Elizabeth having changed the quilt and the bedding for her. She had even tidied her room, despite the fact she was still unconscious. Doctor Phillips had insisted on visiting a few times a week, but they were to tell him if there was any sign of improvement. Laszlo had almost wondered if his wife's behaviour would change once they were home, but it didn't. She had found herself sat in an armchair by Charlotte's bed, curled into a ball with Lucy in her lap whenever she wasn't sleeping.
Nothing had particularly changed and Laszlo was beginning to wonder what it was he could do. He had no idea what it was he had to do to get her to talk to him.
"I took Paulie to see Houdini this morning," Laszlo informed his wife as Lucy slept soundly in her crib that Elizabeth had dragged into Charlotte's bedroom. This was practically where she lived. She had cups dotted around that had contained tea. Laszlo would bring her drinks whenever he returned, insisting on her eating too. But her appetite was particularly weak.
"How was it?" Elizabeth asked as Laszlo remained stood by the chair.
Elizabeth had a blanket over her body, a hand holding onto her cheek and her elbow bent on the arm of the chair. Her hair tumbled down the side, her eyes hooded and looking at Charlotte in the bed. Laszlo sighed and shrugged his shoulders, hands moving into his pockets.
"I confess that I do not know if it will have the desired effect that I long for it to have," Laszlo said to her. "But I guess time will tell."
"I guess," she echoed back, voice still flat.
Laszlo sighed once more, this time louder. And he felt himself begin to break. He looked down to his wife and finally he allowed his emotions to get the better of him. He had been bottling it up for almost a week, but now it was too much for him to contain.
"Do you think that you are the only one hurting?"
His voice was terse, his words coming out in a short spit. Elizabeth looked to him and he almost chuckled darkly at the sight of her wide eyes looking up at him.
"Well, at least I've got your attention," Laszlo hissed at her and he leant back slightly. "Because you've hardly been able to look at me for the past week. You've hardly said anything to me except for polite conversation…the only time you've showed me any semblance of emotion is when you thought I'd been hurt."
"That's not fair," Elizabeth responded, feeling her stomach churn at the impending argument that was about to come.
"Isn't it?" Laszlo retorted, his shoulders rising and falling. He looked around for a moment and then back to Elizabeth as she pushed the blanket onto the floor and looked to the ground as she stood up. "Because it feels like you are punishing me, Elizabeth. It feels as though you are punishing me for what has happened to Charlotte."
"That's not true," Elizabeth quickly denied to him, shaking her head back and forth quickly. Not for one minute did she want him to think that. That had never been her intention. "I don't blame you."
"Perhaps not, but this silence…this shutting yourself away from me…it feels like punishment," Laszlo said. "And I am hurting too, Elizabeth. Do you not think that it pains me to see her like this?" he looked to the little girl in the bed. "Do you not think that I want her to wake up? I want her to wake up and come back to us…and I keep pretending that when that happens everything will be fine. We can go back to the way we were, but what if that doesn't happen?"
"Don't," Elizabeth warned him, shaking her head back and forth and shooting him a warning glare.
"I don't want to think it, Elizabeth. It is the last thing I want to think, but the fact is that we might have to think it at some stage and what then? What happens to us? Do we continue like this? Because this is not healthy for either of us. We are supposed to be a team, is that not what we agreed? We stood there and we said those vows, Elizabeth. We promised to care for each other…and stand by each other…and if the worst does happen then we need to be there for each other."
"Stop it!" Elizabeth roared at him and he saw her cheeks turn red, the flush also running up her neck from where the collar of her green dress finished. She moved towards Laszlo and held her hands by her side, manically moving them around. "Just stop saying that!"
"I am telling you the truth," Laszlo snapped back. "I can give you time, Elizabeth. I can give you time to open up to me, but I fear that it will have the opposite effect. I fear that you will only close off more as you have done. And I need you."
"No, you don't," Elizabeth responded, hair swaying back and forth as she shook her head and looked at him, eyes wide and wet. "You don't need me, Laszlo. The truth is that no one should need me because all I do is ruin everything."
And there it was. She was still blaming herself and Laszlo had suspected that would be the case.
"That's not true," Laszlo said, his tone softening slightly. "Elizabeth, after everything you have done for Charlotte-"
"-What?" Elizabeth interrupted him. "Adopting her? Seeing her laid here…unconscious and not knowing if she is going to wake up? That's all I've done for her, Laszlo. All I've done is bring her pain."
"No," Laszlo shook his head, moving closer to her and trying to reach for her, but she pushed his arms away and began moving around the room, wandering along the bottom of the bed, hand on her hip and her other hand pushing her hair behind her ear. "You adopted, Charlotte," Laszlo continued to push her. "You love her. You gave her love when no one else would. You brought her out of her shell. You saved that girl."
"How can you even say that?" Elizabeth demanded from him, voice fraught and anger lacing her tone. "How can you say I saved her? I…being with me…me befriending Libby…the reason why Charlotte is there is all down to me. It's down to my actions."
"Elizabeth, please," Laszlo tried pleading with her again, but he couldn't.
"And why should I be so shocked?" she demanded from him, still keeping her distance and he saw the anger mix with hurt in her face, her forehead creased and her face strained in pain. "I couldn't look after my son, could I?" she said to Laszlo. "I couldn't protect him from Jacob."
"He was the one who hurt you," Laszlo said.
"But I was the one who angered him," Elizabeth retorted. "I was the one who couldn't protect James and then there's you…I…Jacob almost killed you, Laszlo. He would have killed you because I let myself get too close. He would have killed you, but I killed him before he could do that. And is this my penance? Is this how I pay back that sin? I can't be happy? I can't have happiness?"
"What happened to Jacob was an accident," Laszlo told her, wanting to move towards her, but he didn't. He remained where he was.
"But I still killed him," Elizabeth responded, her eyes now tearing up as she finally let out everything that she had been feeling and thinking. "I killed him and I think that now means I can't have anything good. Mary…she died while I lived…how was that fair? How was it fair unless it was God's idea of a joke? I had to live because I hadn't been punished enough?"
Laszlo said nothing, knowing that it might be best to let her finish her thoughts. She needed time to get all of her feelings out and Laszlo didn't want her to stop now. He could only watch her as she continued moving around the bedroom, Lucy, amazingly, not waking at their yelling.
"And then everything that happened with Lucy…and my own mother," she looked to the ceiling, closing her eyes and shaking her head as she tried to blink back the tears that were clouding her vision. "My own mother died because I sent her away. I sent her away and Libby got to her. And her last act was to protect her granddaughter."
Elizabeth gulped once more and tried to stop her voice from breaking. "And she wasn't a perfect woman, I know that," Elizabeth said with a shake of her head. "But she was still my mother and I was the one who dragged Libby into our lives. I was the one who befriended her and look what that's brought…nothing but pain for all of us…and that little girl…my little girl," Elizabeth looked to Charlotte, moving over to kneel by the side of the bed and looking at Charlotte. "If anything happens to her then it will be my fault. It will all be my fault."
Laszlo dared to tread carefully towards Elizabeth. He reached a hand out and took hold of her shoulder, feeling her stiffen under his touch and he winced at that. But he remained silent as she buried her face into her arms that were folded on the bed.
"You'd be better off without me, Laszlo."
"No, I wouldn't."
"If you didn't have me then you would have none of this…you'd have-"
"-I'd be unhappy," he interrupted her, not wanting her to think of the alternative. "I would rather have faced everything that we have faced with you by my side than have lived through none of it without you."
"Do you think so?" Elizabeth asked him, cheek turned onto her arm and her eyes closed as Laszlo let his thumb roam over her shoulders, trying to soothe her somehow. "Because I doubt that, Laszlo."
"I just want you, Elizabeth," Laszlo said to her, kneeling down on the ground besides her, taking her face into his hand and forcing her to look at him. He didn't want her to close herself off anymore. He wanted her to be open and honest. "I want you to tell me everything that you feel because I am your husband. I want to be with you. I want to be the one looking out for you…you can lean on me…but I need you too, Elizabeth. I need you."
"I know," Elizabeth said to him, nodding her head at hearing him say that. She reached out and took hold of his cheek, stroking it in her fingers and running along his beard. "I just…I can't do this," she said with a shake of her head. "I can't stop blaming myself. I can't stop feeling that, eventually, you'll realise that you can have a normal and happy life without me…that all I do is bring you as much pain as I do love."
"Look at me," Laszlo demanded when he sensed her gaze was about to move away. He reached for her left hand, holding it in the air in between them and motioning to her wedding ring. "I asked you to marry me. I asked you to live with me and since you moved in I thought of nothing but professing how much I loved you. You brought Charlotte to us…you gave us Lucy…you are everything to me and I would not be without you."
"I only worry that you'll see you could be…one day," Elizabeth said. "Because I don't know if the woman who you fell in love with…if anything happens to Charlotte…I don't think I'll be her again, Laszlo. I wouldn't know how to be."
"Then let me help you," Laszlo begged from her. "Let me help you, please."
Elizabeth gasped for a deep breath, trying to calm her breathing. She tried to stop herself from hyperventilating as she shook her head, tears now falling from her cheeks and to the floor as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut and more fell down her pale skin.
"I don't want to push you away," she whispered, a hand blindly moving out to rest against his chest. "I don't want to do that, but I don't know what else to do and I…if I am being punished for what I did to Jacob…then eventually…you'll see the truth about me."
Laszlo shook his head, not wanting her to continue going down this hole she was in.
"I know who you are," he promised her. "And I will never not want you, Elizabeth, no matter what happens. I just need you to stop pushing me away. I just need you to stop closing yourself off."
"I know," Elizabeth said, opening her eyes again and he moved towards her and lowered his forehead to brush against hers, the motion soft and tender as he stroked her cheek. It almost made Elizabeth feel like their lives were normal. It made her long to forget everything that had happened in the past week. "I just don't know if I can give you that right now."
Laszlo watched her slip away from his grip, his fingers falling from her skin as she moved to her feet and walked away. Laszlo watched her move to the door and he heard her footsteps head towards their bedroom. The door closed moments later and Laszlo bowed his head, hands holding onto his thighs as he shook his head back and forth, not knowing what more he could do.
…
Laszlo had felt that there had been a breakthrough when he had talked to Elizabeth. He had felt that they had reached an understanding, but he suspected something else had happened instead. She blamed herself, which Laszlo knew she would do regardless of him telling her not to. But then she admitted that she was worried he would not want her eventually. It was almost as though she felt it was safer to close herself off and push him away. It felt as though she wanted to ruin their relationship so that she was proved right, so that she could spare herself any pain in the future.
Because, somehow, her mind couldn't comprehend a happy life with her family. She truly felt that she was being punished because of her past actions. But Laszlo needed to prove her wrong. He just didn't know how to do that except for stand by her, refuse to leave. He had to prove her wrong.
He had returned to the Institute at midday, needing to leave the house for a while and gather his thoughts. Elizabeth had gone back to sitting in the armchair at the same time Marcus had arrived, not wanting Elizabeth to be alone in the house, despite the fact that she was particularly bad company.
And so he had arrived at the Institute as the children were playing outside. Laszlo climbed from the carriage, removing his jacket and throwing it back into it, letting it sit on the chair. He looked around as children laughed and joked, jumping and running around. His eyes scanned their carefree, happy faces as they played. But something was amiss.
His eyes narrowed as he looked around and came to the sudden realisation as to what it was that was not quite right. He moved forwards across the ground, his feet heavy and dust flowing from the ground at the movement. Looking to Helen, he spoke as he moved to the door.
"Where's Paulie?" he asked.
She shrugged, indicating that she didn't know. He moved into the Institute and looked around, calling out for Paulie and wondering where he would have gotten to. What happened when he reached his office seemed to happen in slow motion. He could see the silhouette of Paulie through the glass and his blood instantly ran cold, his hands beginning to shake as he pushed on the door.
"Paulie!" he shouted his name loudly, finally getting into his office to see the boy hanging from the ceiling, a rope firmly around his neck as he dangled there.
He rushed over to him and reached for his legs, ignoring the pain in his bad arm as he tried to take his weight, his hair pushing into his face and his breaths coming out in sharp, harsh gasps as he tried to take the weight of Paulie and yell for Stevie.
"Stevie! Stevie!"
It was a few moments before Stevie appeared, wondering what the commotion was before he saw the scene in front of him. He rushed forwards and grabbed hold of Paulie to help, but Laszlo had other ideas.
"Cut him down, Stevie. Cut him down."
Stevie reached up and took the knife out of his pocket.
"Cut him down," Laszlo repeated again, longing to feel Paulie's weight increase in his arms. Eventually, the rope snapped and Paulie tumbled down, Laszlo just about managing to lay him on the couch, his hand reaching to check his pulse at his neck. He exhaled in relief at finding there was a pulse, his breath catching in the back of his throat before he held Paulie to him and Stevie called for an ambulance. Laszlo kept Paulie cradled against him and instantly, the guilt he felt began to rear its ugly head.
…
Marcus was sat in the chair on the other side of Charlotte's bed as Elizabeth finished feeding Lucy in her bedroom. He looked at the sleeping child and wondered just what it was she was feeling. Did she know that she was asleep? Was she still in there trying to wake up and get out? Marcus didn't know, but what he did know was that Elizabeth was not the woman he knew. She was a shell of her former self and he could understand that.
"You know," Marcus said once she had returned to the woman and rested Lucy back down, sitting in the armchair across from him. "I heard you earlier…you and Doctor Kreizler…arguing."
Her eyes widened at that and she looked to him with a tilted head. "How?"
"I have a key and I let myself in. I left again as soon as I heard you both," Marcus said. "But I got the gist of the conversation and I'm worried about you, Elizabeth. I'm worried about everything that is happening."
"You don't need to worry."
"I'm your friend, so I do," Marcus retorted, not backing down on this argument. "And I understand that you want to blame yourself for what happened, even though it is completely not your fault and you did not ask for any of this."
"Doesn't make it easier," she scoffed.
"Maybe not," Marcus said. "But do you know what I think might make it easier? If you just accept that you have a husband who wants to help you through this…because Doctor Kreizler has been coming into 808 and he hasn't been himself. Of course, we're not expecting him to be himself because he loves Charlotte and he is worried about her. He is scared for her…but we also know that you're pushing him away."
"Has he said something?"
"He doesn't need to, it's painfully obvious," Marcus said to her.
She shifted uncomfortably in the seat at hearing that. Looking down, she almost felt embarrassed at hearing him say that.
"But he loves you, Elizabeth," Marcus continued. "And you're pushing him away because you're convinced you don't deserve him…which is what you said, right?"
Elizabeth ground her teeth together at hearing him say that. "You shouldn't eavesdrop, you know?" she responded, her tone harsh, but Marcus's lips arched upwards at hearing her despite that. He knew that he could get away with it.
"Maybe not, but then I wouldn't be able to offer you solid advice," he retorted. "And you want to close yourself off…push him away…prove yourself right because you're convinced you don't deserve him or happiness, but that's the problem, Elizabeth. You're the one who is standing in the way of that. You're the one who is doing that…not Libby…your parents…your ex-husband…only you can give yourself what you want and if you want Laszlo then you have him. He is there in the palm of your hand. And he wants you. He wants you and he loves you. You can't doubt that."
"I don't," Elizabeth said, shaking her head slowly. "I don't doubt it…but I don't know if I can make him happy and be the woman he loved…because all of this…it feels like the tide is coming in, Marcus. It feels as though it is just continuously hitting me…wave after wave…and I've withstood them so far, but what has happened to Charlotte…I finally feel as though I am being swept out to sea and I'm drowning."
Marcus was about to continue talking, but the phone suddenly began to ring in the house. The noise of it was loud, echoing through the halls. Elizabeth stood up and moved off, taking the stairs quickly and coming to it. She picked it up and answered the call.
"Hello," she spoke.
"Mrs Kreizler? It's Helen from the Institute," the woman spoke. "Is Doctor Kreizler there? We need him back at the Institute. The police are here and Doctor Markoe has been called. It's a nightmare."
"Helen, slow down," Elizabeth urged, brows knitting together. "What are you talking about?"
"Doctor Kreizler hasn't called you?"
"No," Elizabeth shook her head.
"It's Paulie," Helen continued. "Doctor Kreizler found him trying to hang himself. I thought that he would be home by now."
"He's not here," Elizabeth said. "He is probably at the hospital. Let me go and find him and I will send him back to the Institute, alright, Helen?"
"Thank you, Mrs Kreizler."
Elizabeth hung up the call and knew that she had to go to the hospital. He would have gone to Paulie. Of course, he would have. Elizabeth only wondered why he hadn't called her. Perhaps he didn't want to burden her? Or perhaps he felt that she shouldn't know? Elizabeth didn't know, but all she could do was wonder if perhaps Marcus was right. Perhaps he had a point.
…
Laszlo had been at the hospital with Paulie. The boy was going to be fine and stable, but Laszlo knew full well that he was in trouble. The police had arrived just before he had left to go and see Paulie, but he suspected the medical board would be onto him as well.
He had left the ward and had been surprised to see her stood there. She was in the corridor, dressed in a dark dress with a hat on her head that contained her dark curls. She had dangling earrings on, a dark jacket covering her dress and a feather had fallen from her hat onto her shoulder.
"Karen," he spoke at seeing her there.
"I had stopped by the Institute, but they told me that there had been an incident," Karen informed him and Laszlo nodded his head. "I thought that I would come and see how you are when they said that the boy had been taken to the hospital."
"My days have been better," Laszlo assured her and she nodded as he sat down on the bench underneath the painting of the skyline of New York at the end of the corridor, drapes dangling down the window next to them. "Paulie…I used magic with him in the hope that it would reconcile him with his childhood and address the fact that he was becoming an anxious, troubled, young man. I thought it would permit him to understand a lack of understanding as a wonder and not a fear…but he began living in the wonder…"
"You helped him, Laszlo," Karen promised him. "What you do at the Institute is help children and I do not doubt that is what you did for that boy in there."
"I neglected him," Laszlo said with a shake of his head. "I neglected him because I am working on this case…because I was spending more time preoccupied with that than the children there."
"Because this case was personal," Karen responded to him and Laszlo nodded. "It was your family and family always comes first."
"And a child almost died once again," Laszlo responded. "Because I created a fantasy for him."
"Stop looking for ways to punish yourself," Karen encouraged him. "We both know that in our line of work there will always be incidents such as this. We always know that there will be children who…who perhaps we cannot save."
"I do not like to think like that."
"None of us do, but it is true," she said. "You helped him and you have to know that, just as you helped on that case and your family."
"But I didn't," Laszlo retorted with a shake of his head. "I failed Paulie and I failed my own family…I can't even look after my wife…"
"What has happened?" Karen enquired, but Laszlo shook his head, his mind replaying the previous conversation he had with Elizabeth as he pictured her sat there, crying in front of him and refusing to stop pushing him away. "Of course, it is none of my business."
"We…we didn't argue…but things are not good," Laszlo confessed to Karen. He was unable to stop himself from saying that. It was almost as though he couldn't stop talking. "Elizabeth is pushing herself away from me. She is blaming herself for what has happened. No matter how many times I tell her that I am there…she seems determined not to believe that. She seems to think that eventually I will realise that I can be happier without her, that she doesn't deserve happiness and therefore she doesn't deserve me."
Karen remained silent before speaking, thinking on what Laszlo had just said to her.
"I do not pretend to understand what your wife has been through, but I know the rumours," Karen said. "And you will be aware of Freud's work with Ferenczi, yes? Their work on self-destructive behaviour? How those who have survived trauma…who are wracked with guilt…they harm themselves. They push people away. They destruct."
"I know."
"And I think that is what your wife might be doing based on what you just said, but of course, I do not know her nor do I know all of the details."
"I doubt you would want to," Laszlo confessed.
"Perhaps not," Karen said, "but I am here if you want to talk because…I understand this is hard on her, but this is also hard on you too, Laszlo. I can appreciate that."
Laszlo reached out to her, his hand moving to sit on top of hers and squeeze it tightly for a few moments before he looked up, the sight in front of him almost causing him to startle. Stood before him was his wife, dressed in a green high collared dress, hands in her pockets of her red coat that was open around her frame. Her hair was still messy behind her shoulders, but her eyes were fixed on the way his hand was holding onto another woman's. A woman she had yet to meet.
…
Elizabeth had walked through the corridors of the hospital quickly, knowing where the children's ward was. She had seen Laszlo on a bench at the end of the corridor and had sighed in relief. He was here. But he was not alone. He was talking to a woman who was sat next to him, dressed in a fine, dark dress, her hair neatly coiffed on top of her head with a hat perched there too. She looked the complete opposite to Elizabeth. She was so well-presented, not a hair out of place or a wrinkle in her gown. As Elizabeth's steps slowed, she saw Laszlo reach out and rest a hand on top of the woman's. Elizabeth stood still in front of them then, keeping a small distance away.
Neither of them had noticed her, but all she could do was stare at the woman as she held onto Laszlo's hand that he had placed on hers. Elizabeth's mouth dried out and her brows knitted together without her knowing it, a shaky breath escaping her.
"Elizabeth," Laszlo spoke her name, clearly startled at seeing her. He pulled his hand from Karen's and moved to his feet, shaking his head and looking to his wife. "What are you doing here?"
"Helen called and told me what had happened," Elizabeth said, looking at her husband and moving her eyes from the woman next to him who had held her gaze until then. "She said that Markoe is on his way to the Institute."
Laszlo cursed quietly under his breath before nodding his head forcefully. "I should return there then," he said and Karen stood up, knowing that this was also her time to go.
"I should leave you to it," she said.
"Of course," Laszlo nodded to her. "Oh…Karen…this is-"
"-Elizabeth, I gathered," Karen interrupted Laszlo as he tried to go back to pleasantries. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Kreizler. I'm Professor Karen Stratton."
"I gathered," Elizabeth said and Laszlo picked up on her curt tone, knowing that this wasn't like his wife. She was usually so pleasant. She was always courteous. Having been raised in high society, it came naturally to her.
"Well," Karen said, sensing that Elizabeth perhaps did not want her there. "I suppose I should go. Laszlo, I will no doubt see you around?"
"No doubt," Laszlo said.
"Pleasure, Elizabeth," Karen said and Elizabeth simply nodded her head.
She left, moving off down the corridor as Laszlo looked to Elizabeth, but she was already heading in the other direction. He sighed in frustration and followed his wife, hearing her heels click loudly on the floor as she stormed off. Laszlo walked faster to keep up with her, calling out to her.
"Elizabeth."
"You need to get back to the Institute," she encouraged from her husband.
"And I will, but where is Lucy?"
"Marcus is looking after her. Lucius has joined him too," Elizabeth said. "I thought that I should come here and see how you are because I know how much you care for Paulie, but it seems I had a wasted trip. You were seeking comfort from elsewhere."
"You are being absurd," Laszlo said to her with a firm shake of his head, looking at her as she kept staring straight ahead. "Elizabeth, you are jumping to conclusions."
"Really?" Elizabeth asked. "Because you didn't call me but you called her instead?"
"I did not call anyone," Laszlo said as they came to the exit and he saw Stevie parked across the street. Elizabeth began to move down the street, clearly having no intention of coming with him. But Laszlo had other ideas. He reached out and took hold of her by the arm, stopping her from going anywhere. "Elizabeth, she was here because she had heard the news. She was going to the Institute to discuss the case with me when she heard."
Elizabeth went silent, her lips pursed and Laszlo wondered what she was thinking.
"I have known the woman for a few days, Elizabeth," Laszlo continued. "Do you honestly believe that I would call her over you? Do you think that I would seek comfort from her?"
"I think I saw you holding her hand." Elizabeth retorted.
"Because she was being kind," Laszlo said. "It was simply a gesture of kindness, nothing more. She was listening to my concerns…my worries…our argument is constantly playing in my head."
"You've told her about us?" Elizabeth demanded from him, attracting some attention from passers by. Laszlo looked around and shook his head, nodding to the carriage.
"Can we discuss this in private?" he asked from her.
She huffed, but nodded, moving across to the carriage and climbing into it. Laszlo closed the door and asked Stevie to take them back to the Institute. The carriage began moving, jostling the pair of them around inside of it as Elizabeth looked out of the window and Laszlo kept his gaze on her.
"I only told her snippets," Laszlo confessed. "Because I needed another perspective. I needed someone to talk to because you have closed me out and I don't know how to get back in. I don't know what more I can say or do for you to make you open up to me…and Karen…Professor Stratton…she has been offering advice."
"Advice on me?" Elizabeth asked, double-checking. "She's been giving you advice on me even though she doesn't know me? She doesn't know us?"
"Elizabeth, please see sense," Laszlo urged from her. "I didn't know what else to do. I just want you to talk to me. I want you to stop recoiling from me when I touch you. I want you to tell me what you're thinking and I want us to comfort each other."
She looked away from him again, peering out of the window once more and he shook his head almost solemnly. He needed to know what she was thinking. He longed to know. But then she spoke, her voice a low and strained tone.
"You used to hold my hand…comfort me…just like you did to her…exactly like that," Elizabeth trailed off and Laszlo leant forwards, his hands taking hold of hers, his grip tight as she looked back to him.
"It meant nothing. You're my wife. You're everything to me."
But she remained silent. She didn't say anything back to him as he moved to sit next to her on the bench, his arm going around her shoulders as he spoke lowly to her, his eyes scanning over her face as she looked down.
"And I imagine in your mind you're trying to convince yourself that this means more than that…that…because you want to push me away…because you think you don't deserve me…it makes sense as to why I would seek comfort from another woman. And I cannot stop you thinking that. All I can do is assure you that would never be the case because I took the vows that I said seriously, Elizabeth. I meant them when I said them. And, after everything we've been through, I would have hoped you would know there is no other woman for me."
She looked up to him then and he saw that she was nodding. Her throat clenched. "I know," she said to him. "And I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologise."
"I do," she said, "because I've been unfair to you and I know that. I'm sorry."
Laszlo wrapped his arms around her once more and bent down to kiss her on the forehead, the motion chaste and tender.
"We can work this out," Laszlo assured her. "But we have to do it together."
She nodded against him and he sighed, his chin resting on the top of her head as he contented himself for a few moments in her grip and he knew that they would do everything they could to work through this. He had to believe that.
….
A/N: More angst! So sorry! I think there is probably only a few more chapters left before the end - so let me know if you want happy/sad ending or anything else!