If I lost you – Chapter 3
A/N:
Damn… It doesn't rhyme.. T.T…I'll have to wait till chapter
22 until it rhymes again… (Yes I am totally, totally insane) :P
Well, I've got half-yearly's coming up, so I wont be able to
update for a bit. Sigh… After my half-yearly's I'm gonna update
this fic until it finishes, so its all good…
Thanks to my reviewers.. I know there's only a few of you… but you guys make me write XDDDDDDDDD
Well, anyway… here we go…
Disclaimer: I DO…-smirk- not own gundam seed… WAHHH
The girl twisted in her sleep. Something, someone was disturbing her. Suddenly, she felt strangely comforted, for some reason and drifted back into dreamland.
Ack…
Cagalli sat up slowly, running a hand through her tousled blond hair. Funnily enough, she hadn't had any bad dreams this time. Usually her sleep was plagued with nightmares, and horrifying propagations of people dying.
Actually… I did start dreaming of Dad… Cagalli lay back down into her pillow, relishing in the warmth of her blanket.
My blanket? Since when…She eyed the blanket suspiciously, then wondered how in the world had her blanket suddenly materialized over her body. She was certain that she had just flopped down on her bed.
Ath- No, Kira. I remember I started dreaming of Dad dying, and then suddenly HE came into the picture… But after that I finally stopped dreaming.
She eyed her blanket again. Did he do this? She laughed to herself, thinking of how she thought too much.
So what if he did this?
Blushing, she thought of how sweet he was. Well he was sweet, but she always relished his sweetness when it was directed to her. Earlier on her journey with the Archangel, she had developed feelings she didn't understand toward him. HE was the whole reason why she had gone on the Archangel in the first place. Cagalli sat up again, unable to return to the blissfulness of sleep due to the whirlwind of thoughts in her mind. Turning her head, she peeked out the porthole of her cabin. Darkness.
It's night. Realisation dawned upon her pretty head. Dammit, how long have I slept. And what's happened. I'm supposed to be the Captain on this ship. And I'm sleeping!
She swung her legs around, so that she was sitting on her bunk. Taking a quick stretch, she shook some stray hairs out of her eyes, and stood up. Her thoughts turned back to the brown-haired teenager that she had grown so close to.
Except, She declared to herself with regret and realisation, We are… She paused in her thoughts, not wanting to say the word. So why, why did she feel this feeling for him that resembled…She paused again, not wanting to say THAT word either.
She changed out of her uniform, it was useless now that they were back on earth, and it was after all, in the middle of the night. Not much people would be about at this hour.
As she walked out of her cabin door to start her duties that she had neglected, she confronted herself mentally.
Nothing will…no, nothing CAN happen… Since, we are…
Twins. The word had been circling around his head for quite sometime now. Kira sat on the soft grass, the night wind whistling ghostly tunes through his ears. He had walked out of the Archangel hours earlier, when the sun was still setting, trying to look for comfortable silence. Except, he couldn't. His thoughts were plagued with this and that and her. Now he sat, his back against a medium-sized boulder, on a wide grassy slope. The slope continued higher, but Kira had been contented halfway, losing himself in the myriad of thoughts that had sprung from…
…His hand hadn't moved from her head. Impulsively, no rational thoughts involved, he bent down and swiftly but softly kissed her forehead. His lips parted only the tiniest of millimeters but it was a kiss…
Almost in a wistful gesture his fingers went to his lips. But she was so pretty at that time. Actually, she was pretty most of the time.
No, that doesn't justify what I did. I should probably tell her…and…and…His darkened features sprouted a tinge of pink. I can't tell her!
He closed his eyes, trying to forget what had happened.
From where he was sitting he could just see the top of the Archangel, its bridge poking out in the night sky above the slope ahead of him. As he was surveying his surroundings for the sixth time, he thought he saw a shadow move. It was walking slowly to the Archangel, but it held what looked like a knife. Kira instantly opened his eyes fully, and his muscles tensed. The shadow merely strolled, as if taking its time.
An assassin. Of course. He mentally slapped himself. They were broadcasting on the general frequency. Some people out there could have heard.
Only thinking about the safety of the people in the Archangel, not giving any thought whatsoever to the fact that the war was declared over, his super-senses took over him. He could see the shadow, the knife in its hand, he could hear the shadow, its soft footsteps echoing in his brain, he could smell the shadow, and
TOUCH...The next sense.
He sprung out of his hiding place. Grabbing hold of the person's shoulders from behind, he gripped the assassin's mouth with his bare hand.
Strange. Not wearing a mask.
"Move, and die."
The daggered words cut the night air. Kira's voice was, while some considered it sweet and boyish, icy at this particular moment. That is why, when the person in his hands started to wriggle, he was astonished. ANYONE encountering his special 'death voice' would have stayed perfectly still.
What kind of…
His thoughts was cut as the assassin moved one of its legs, and tripped the both of them over, sending them tumbling into the soft grass. Kira kept his hold on the assassin as they rolled down the slope.
I will not…let anyone hurt the Archangel.
He landed on top of the assassin. Grabbing hold of the assassin's shoulders, he immediately looked down into the face of…
"Cagalli?"
Confusion spread through his face. Confusion was replaced by puzzlement. Finally, puzzlement slowly turned to realisation. Wait. He was missing something. Oh, that's right. Realisation turned to fear. Fear of the extremely dangerous expression on Cagalli's face.
Ohhhhhhhh…Crapppp…
SMACK……!
Fist met face.
"Kira you, IDIOT!" Cagalli lay on the ground, clear vision hadn't come, still dazed from her tumble. However, what was clear was the growing vein on her forehead.
"Ah…" Was all Kira could say. What he could think however was quite different.
She probably could punch a hole in the Archangel.
She shook her head. "Jeez… I come out to take a walk, and look what happens. What were you thinking anyway?"
"Ah…Ah…Well…You see…" He made the mistake of looking at her straight in the eye. And realised how close they still were.
"No I don't see …-" She stopped, wondering why Kira's face had suddenly turned a crimson colour.
"Why are you…?" The colour of her face joined his when she realised that Kira was still inches away from her face, and his body was still over hers.
Kira looked down at her face.
Even when she's angry…She looks so cute.
Right. Now she was blushing.
Even cuter.
He eyed her slightly opened lips. Their faces were coming closer. He remembered what he was thinking when he was about to engage the 'assassin'. The senses. He had seen, heard, smelt, and even touched the so-called 'assassin'. There was one missing. Ah, yes, taste.
TASTE?
His vision started to blur, and Cagalli looked up at him. His face was so close, so engulfing.
So… good looking, She thought.
His face was coming closer, narrowing the gap. He felt lightheaded. She looked him in the face, casting a glance to his soft mouth.
Am I…Are we going to…
Suddenly his body was upon hers and... he collapsed, his arms giving up on him. His head fell on her shoulder. His closing thoughts were,
I knew it. She really COULD make a hole in the Archangel.
His sudden collapse changed the look on her face.
Oops. Maybe I did hit him a bit too hard. Cagalli giggled.
She extracted herself from under his body and gently turned him over. He lay in the soft grass, with an almost peaceful expression.
"Idiot." She murmured to herself. She felt her lips with her fingers.
What…was I thinking back then?
The proximity of Kira had awakened feelings she thought she had placed away, far, far away. From the time before they found out they were related, she carefully hid her feelings for the young pilot, knowing full well if she let them go out of control…and they were related…
She felt angry. Why did the people responsible for this hide the fact that she and Kira were related.
It would have been easier…I would never had fallen in…
She shook her head; her features still displaying light anger.
I am DEFINITELY not saying that word.
Kira still lay there in the grass. And opened one eye.
Cagalli looked at him.
I can't believe I actually knocked him out.
"Hey. You awake yet?"
"Uhhh…" Kira sat up, trying to lean on the slope of the hill, but failing.
Sigh. "You idiot. Don't try to sit up now. Here. Lie down." She sat down next to his unsteady body and patted her lap.
Kira blinked. "Wha…" He didn't finish because Cagalli had pulled his head down onto her lap. Blushing furiously, he looked up at Cagalli, and the stars behind her. Actually it felt quite comfortable. He breathed in and smelt the grass-stains on her trousers. His heart started beating noticably faster.
Cagalli looked down at him. "So? You feeling a bit more relaxed?"
RELAXED? How can I be relaxed? I'm FRI-KEN lying on her lap!
"Er… Actually…this is…I'm…-"
"So…What happened back there?" She cut him off his stuttering.
His embarrassment was momentarily forgotten. Then was replaced by the embarrassment of the other situation. "Oh…" He stopped, his voice awkward. "Well… I thought you were an assassin…and I, uh, thought that you were going to the Archangel…you know…" he finished lamely.
"Oh…" She tried her best to look stern and unforgiving, but when she looked down at the boy lying on her lap, she couldn't help but giggle at his sheepish expression.
"What?" He looked up at her. Still sheepish.
She stopped her giggling. "An assassin?" She broke off into uncontrollable laughter.
"Jeez... It wasn't my fault… It wasn't like I could see properly you know."
She laughed. "Seriously now. Do I look like an assassin to you?"
From his point of view, no. She actually looked pretty good from his point of view.
Maybe... He interrupted his own thoughts by looking up at her pretty face, which was giggling uncontrollably. He turned away, embarrassed. She noticed the shift of weight on her lap, looked down and saw Kira looking the other way.
"Kira…You're so funny, you idiot." Her lilting voice carried through the clear night air.
"Well maybe…"
"Huh?" She stopped laughing, puzzled by his response. "Well maybe, what?"
"Oh…" He turned his head again, so that he was looking at her face, her pretty outline boarded by the tons of stars that inhabited the universe. "What I meant was…" He grinned mischievously. "Maybe you do look like an assassin."
Her look of laughter was replaced by playfulness. "Oh is that so? Maybe I should do what assassins do then."
"What?"
"You know. Kill people." She smiled evilly. "I'll need some practice though… Now, who can I practice on." She looked around, then focused her gaze on him, an evil glint in her eye.
He planted a look of mock horror on his face. "Wahhhh… I'm getting out of here!" His statement was interjected with laughter, and he didn't make any move to show he was trying to leave. Actually, he had grown quite comfortable to his sitting – no, his lying position on her lap.
She lifted her hands, brandishing a banana to look like a dagger. Solemnly she declared, "I will now assassinate thee, Kira- " She was interrupted by a new burst of laughter.
"Oh… So THAT'S what it was…" Kira laughed. She looked at him puzzled, her hands still in the air.
He stifled another laugh. "Oh, nothing, its just that I thought that was the dagger in your hands when I jumped on you."
She gave him a blank look. "Iiii-diot…" Her hands still in the air, she emphasised the "I" sound. Still lying down on her lap, he reached up and gently took the hands that were supposed to 'kill' him and brought them down in front of his face.
"I don't think these hands should kill." The soft seriousness in his voice cut the jovial mood in half. The banana was forgotten. He suddenly felt content. Content with lying on her lap, content with watching her face, bordered by the stars, and content with holding her hands in his.
She looked past their interlocked hands and into his deep amethyst eyes. And caught him staring right back at her. A moment of unspoken affection passed between them, and then broke off, just as suddenly as it started. Blushing, she looked away, but for some unknown reason she tightly held on to his hands.
After a few moments of silence had gone by she snuck a peek at him. He was still looking. No, staring. Vaguely cross because she couldn't do the same without keeping a non-blushing face, she asked, "What?"
Kira pulled on their intertwined hands, and rested them on his forehead, providing an unobstructed view to her face.
"Hmm? Oh… I was just thinking of how cute you looked when you were angry."
"Huh- wha- um…" If there was a level beyond blushing, she definitely had passed it.
As if realising what he just had said, he sat up quickly, immediately regretting his action. The warmth of her lap left his head feeling ridiculously cold in the night air. But he was blushing, so he didn't care. He felt her gaze fall on his back, but he pretended he didn't notice.
Stay calm, stay calm.
He straightened, turned, but did not meet her gaze.
"Ah, umm…" His amethyst eyes darted everywhere, everywhere but her. So much for trying to stay calm. His eyes rested on the boulder he had been sitting at, further up the slope.
"H-hey, lets go up there." Without waiting for an answer, or stating a reason, he reached for her hand and started walking up the slope.
"H-h-hey…wa-wait…" If Kira's voice was unsteady then hers must have been incomprehensible. But she followed him up the slope anyway, staring in wonderment at how comfortably her fingers fitted between his.
As they neared the boulder she caught up with him, adjusting her pace to match his long strides.
"H-hey!" She tugged on his hand, trying to sound irritated. "Where are we going?"
"Um… Well, ah, I just wanted to see what's up there." He muttered to the ground.
Cagalli bent down a little too peer into his face. "Hmm…"
Kira felt her staring at him, and sheepishly grinned. She smiled.
"Well…What are we waiting for?"
"Oh… yeah…" He grinned again and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. Hand in hand, they continued up the slope.
What they saw at the top of the slope was magical. The moon hung in the dark sky, shining its reflective rays onto the dark, blue sea. The waves softly lapped the bottom of the grey, rocky cliff, and the smell of salt hovered in the air around them. The waves broke in a resounding pattern. Big wave, small wave, small wave, then big wave again. They were standing atop the only headland on the island. The tip of the cliff wasn't sheltered like the grassy bottom. Here, the winds blew harder, and Cagalli shivered involuntarily. Her shiver carried over to his hand, which was gripping hers.
"Hey. What's wrong?" The familiar lines of worry now materialized on his face.
Cagalli turned away, still holding his hand. "Oh…nothing" She felt him stare at her back, then when she thought his gaze was lowered she turned around. And was met by his warm jacket.
"Wha… What…" She blinked at the jacket.
"Here."
"Oh…Uh, thanks…" She blushed.
Suddenly the air seemed heavy around them.
Why is it like this? she mused. Usually, when they were together, everything was comfortable between them. And now, somehow, it was so awkward. But they were holding hands, for goodness sake. How could she possibly –
"Um…Cagalli?"
She glanced at him, then at the jacket he was holding.
"Oh. Thank-you Kira." She took the jacket from him, and fitted it around her small frame breaking off their handhold. She breathed in. It smelt of Kira. She glanced at him again, looking at his thin arms in his light brown shirt. He shivered. Instantly she felt guilty.
"Actually, you should have it back."
"No. It's ok. Really. I'm warm. Really warm. Fine." All this he said, while shivering.
"You idiot. Trying to tell me you're warm in this weather." She stepped closer towards him. "Hmm…" She spoke softly, thinking. "Come." She opened her arms for him.
What? Kira didn't budge.
When he didn't move she sighed and slipped her slender arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. For a while she just stood there, embracing him, waiting for him to respond. Finally, she felt him hug her back; and she loosed her hold on his body, letting him hold her tightly instead. They stood together, her pressed against his chest, and him resting his chin on top of her head. The night wind blew around them but their embrace blocked out the coldness.
Yes, I am hugging her because it's cold. Kira told off that nagging inner voice. Sure you are. Liar. Kira winced. Fighting with himself wasn't that cool. Especially when he was losing.
Standing there was the most comfortable silence Kira had had for a while. The two lonely figures stood there, silhouetted against a moonlight sky, relishing in each other's arms.
A/N: Yep yep, I know, I know... I cut off at a crucial moment. But...NYAH! Sigh... an embrace... so sweeeeeeeeeettttt... lol umm yeah so i got half yearlies.. I won't be able to update until next week (8th April... er hopefully) anyway coolness, everyone keep reading, keep reviewing and all that cool stuff that every author likes... Basically after this I'll make them go back to ORB then we'll see how it goes from there... wink wink... Hmmm did I miss anything? Oh yeah, thanks again to every reviewer.. I need more! lol anyway cya for now... until next chapter... (Oh and please note the length of this chapter... i made it nice and long and fluffy XDDDDD)
Ja