(AN: This is actually a very short section of the movie, but it's very important—and it's the main reason why I wanted to write this fanfic in the first place. What can I say, once a Cosmo/Wanda nut, always a Cosmo/Wanda nut! So, again, we have a veeeeerrrry long chapter. I've gathered that you guys don't mind that, however. ;p
Some parts in this chapter—and the whole story, for that matter—are definitely not for a younger reader, I will admit. In fact, if I were writing this as an original story, I would probably rate it R (M, whatever…). I'm probably paranoid, but there you go. Still, this is quite a level up from all my other PG-13 (T, yeah, I know) stories. But as the movie is rated PG-13, and I'm trying to not get anything too much worse in this fanfic… I think I should be okay. I hope.
Here's chapter nine, dedicated to all you Cosmo/Wanda nuts out there. You know who you are. ;) )
O.o.O
"…And that's all I have to say about that," Cosmo finished, taking a shaky breath after finishing his tale about his mama.
The woman next to him was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. "Oh, you poor dear," she moaned sadly.
Cosmo shrugged it off. "Well, anyway, I didn't go back to shrimping after that. Lieutenant Denzel told me that he could manage things by himself, and besides, the people in my hometown offered me a really fine job, since I was a war hero and ping pong star and shrimping tycoon and all that. I got to mow the grass! And oh boy, was it ever fun!" Cosmo laughed. "And not too long afterwards, Lieutenant Denzel wrote me and said he invested in some sort of fruit company, and said that we didn't have to worry about money anymore! Which is good, you know! I never was very good in my college finances class," Cosmo admitted. "But anyway…"
O.o.O
"…Mama always said that there's only so much money a man needs—the rest he should give to his mama. Well, since Mama was dead now, I had to give all my extra money to other things, like hospitals and churches and stuff. And since I was a gazillionaire, and felt bad for taking money for my mowing job, I mowed it for free!"
"La la la, cutting the grass, CUTTING THE GRASS!" Cosmo sang at the top of his lungs, perched on his rider mower, cutting crazy patterns in the lawn.
Two passerbies watched the crazy man at work. "I thought you said one of the owners of the Timmy Uhsmith company worked here!" one snapped to the other.
"He's probably around here somewhere," said the other, looking confused.
"Life got lonely, though," Cosmo admitted. "I had Mama's big house all to myself, which was good for some things—like roller-skating through the hallways—but with no one but my plush monkey to talk to, I sometimes went a little crazy! So then I bought a dog! I named him Monkey! Which got a little confusing, especially when I started calling my plush monkey "Dog". And…" Cosmo sounded a bit embarrassed. "You'll probably think I'm crazy, but there was one other thing that kept me company…"
Cosmo first noticed it one night as he stood on his balcony, holding Monkey the Dog—more specifically, Monkey the Chihuahua, as Cosmo thought that breed had a hilarious name—in his arm, talking to him about cheese, pudding, monkeys—anything that came to his simple mind. That is, until he first caught sight of someone walking across his yard.
Cosmo nearly dropped Monkey from the shock. "Monkey—Monkey, that's Wanda!" Cosmo cried. Setting the startled dog down, he climbed over the railing, shimmied down the drainpipe, got a rather nasty bruise as he fell that last six feet down, got up, and—
She was gone.
"I know I saw her," Cosmo said, feeling crushed, as he went back to his room—this time wisely choosing the stairs.
But the next night, at around the same time, he took Monkey out on the porch and continued to wait for her, and again, there she was, walking across the lawn! This time, however, Cosmo stayed on the porch, watching her… and watching her fade into nothingness.
By the third night, when the exact same thing happened again, Cosmo figured out that he was just seeing things—Wanda wasn't actually there, which, when Cosmo finally realized this, caused him to flop on the balcony and sob the tears of a broken-hearted man for nearly ten minutes.
As the tears finally began to subside, Cosmo picked up Monkey and pet him fondly.
"I… I suppose it's actually good that I'm seeing her in my mind," said Cosmo to Monkey, although it was more to console himself. "Because I'll probably never see her again in real life—and—" Cosmo felt his body stiffen, as if trying to resist what he was trying to say—"and—and that's a good thing! She deserves better than me, Monkey. You'd understand if you knew how wonderful she is. She needs someone smarter, someone who can love her more than I do. I don't know how that's possible," he admitted with a half smile, "but then again, I don't know much anyway."
Cosmo hugged Monkey tightly. "But at least I have her for a few seconds each night, and at least I have you too, Monkey. At least you're real."
He continued to hold Monkey, and Monkey, being the loyal dog he was, affectionately licked Cosmo's face.
Cosmo wondered, as Monkey comforted him, if the Chihuahua really knew what Cosmo was actually thinking. True, he knew that everything he had told him was right—Wanda deserved so much more than Cosmo could even think about giving her! He knew this, and that led to the logical conclusion that Wanda was better off with someone else—except people like Juandissimo; come on, even Cosmo could do better than that! But still… during the years since they had last seen each other, Cosmo loved her more and more, and it hurt more and more each time he thought of her—which was very, very often. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted Wanda all to himself. He was selfish—he was more concerned with what would suit him best rather than what would suit her best.
But what was wrong with that? He didn't have much to give her, but he did have his love—probably not in the same capacity that a smarter person could offer, but it was still love! And Cosmo loved her with every nerve in his body. Didn't that count for something? He had never been able to show her how much it was—it probably wasn't enough for her, but still… did she know? Could she know?
O.o.O
Actually, Wanda did know.
"Wanda, mi amor, I'm so very happy to hear that you left that awful Stellar character," said Juandissimo, for Wanda, not knowing where else to turn to after she left her deadbeat boyfriend, had sought out Juandissimo—who she had never actually officially broken up with.
"All of my boyfriends have been awful," Wanda mumbled.
"Except me," said Juandissimo smugly.
"You leave a lot to be desired," Wanda snapped.
Juandissimo took Wanda in his arms—Wanda felt herself flinch. "My love, my sexy goddess, out of all your boyfriends I alone have treated you with respect—of course, except for a few minor instances—"
"Minor instances?" Wanda snapped, although, feeling tears spring to her eyes, she realized that Juandissimo, even with his ego, his viewing of Wanda as merely a sexual plaything, and the occasions in which he had resorted to physical abuse, had been the best lover she had.
The best one.
"Care to hit the sheets, my love?" Juandissimo purred into her ear.
My love. What a thing for him to call her! He didn't love her—well, he loved her body, and her sexual abilities. But what did he know about real, true love? Hell, what did Wanda know? In her younger days, Wanda had never been with a boyfriend long enough to fall in love, and now, love seemed like something out of a myth—something that could never be attained. Juandissimo claimed to love her, but he didn't. No one ever had.
But as Juandissimo was kissing her neck and sliding her blouse up, Wanda heard a whisper from the past—the voice of a little boy, blurting out his true feelings before reason could get in the way—"But Wanda, I love you!"
Wanda's tears stopped flowing.
It wasn't that no one had ever loved her… it was that she had never allowed the one person who actually DID love her to show it.
"Let go of me," Wanda growled.
"I like it when you play hard to get," said Juandissimo, in his own lustful growl.
"I mean it, bastard!" Wanda forcefully pushed Juandissimo off of her and on to the floor.
Juandissimo was outraged. "What—what was that for?"
"I want to be loved, just once, I want to know what it feels like to have someone love me unconditionally, for who I am!" yelled Wanda, picking up her bag and heading for the door. "And the only person in the world who can give me that isn't you."
"Are you crazy?" cried Juandissimo, getting to his feet and glaring at Wanda. "Who is it?"
Wanda gave Juandissimo an icy stare. "The guy who did this to you."
And, without warning, she gave Juandissimo a hearty punch, right in the eye.
Falling back yet again, Juandissimo yelled in pain and clapped his hand on his bruised eye. "That fucking little green haired moron?" he gasped.
"His name's Cosmo," snapped Wanda, "and he loves me more than you love yourself. And that's saying something."
Without another word, Wanda was out the door, slamming it behind her.
O.o.O
"La la la, cutting the grass, CUTTING THE GRASS!"
Cosmo was, as usual, mowing the lawn, but it wasn't at the park, the football field, or any of the other places where he usually worked for free. He was mowing is own lawn, his own large lawn in front of his own large house.
Monkey the dog was sitting on the porch, with Dog the monkey plush sitting next to him. The two made a comical looking pair, as they—or at least as Monkey—watched their master ride back and forth.
"I'm sure glad you don't need a driver's license to drive this, Monkey!" Cosmo called out to his tiny dog. "Because, you know, I never did pass the driver's test!"
Monkey, however, wasn't looking. With one high-pitched yap, he spun his head around, looking at the pink-haired newcomer who was climbing over the fence, one small bag holding all her possessions.
"Monkey? Why did you—" Cosmo stopped the mower and hopped off, seeing Wanda walking across the lawn. He grinned. "Hey, Monkey, I'm seeing things again, although this time it's during the day! Isn't that—"
He stopped short and looked at Monkey—Monkey was staring at Wanda too. Cosmo knew he wasn't very smart, but still he had no idea how a dog could see someone else's hallucinations.
"Monkey," he asked, almost fearfully, "do you see what I see?"
Wanda, watching the whole thing, couldn't help but be a little confused at Cosmo paying more attention to his dog than to her. The Chihuahua, as if answering Cosmo's question, jumped off the porch and trotted over to Wanda. Chuckling, Wanda picked the dog up.
"You're a tiny little thing," she murmured to the dog, who was happily licking her fingers. "Maybe Cosmo should feed you more." She set the dog down at her feet and smiled at Cosmo, who was now staring at Wanda, completely transfixed.
He took a step towards her… she took a step towards him… and suddenly they were both running to each other—
—but then they stopped.
Feeling awkward, Wanda gave Cosmo a small smile. "Hello, Cosmo," she said.
"…Hello Wanda." Cosmo lifted up one arm, visibly trembling. "Are you… are you real?" His hand hovered near her face, but made no move to get closer. Cosmo didn't want to try to touch her, only to find out that this was just another hallucination—a very real one, but still not real enough.
But Wanda suddenly took his arm in her hand and pressed his hand against her face. Cosmo was so shocked, so relieved, and so full of love that he nearly fainted.
"I'm real enough," said Wanda. She gazed into Cosmo's eyes for just a second, before she suddenly threw herself in his arms, hugging him tightly. Cosmo returned the hug, still completely shocked that this was happening to him.
"You are real!" he whispered, silently vowing that he'd never, never let her leave him again.
Wanda found herself smiling at this strange new sensation of someone loving her. Why, oh why did she keep leaving Cosmo? Nothing had ever felt so good. "I'm real as long as I'm with you," she said, still hugging him, rocking him gently back and forth.
"Then you have to stay with me forever!" cried Cosmo. "Promise you'll stay with me forever! Promise me!" He sounded almost pleading. With good reason, Wanda thought to herself. She had never stayed in his life for very long.
"I'll stay," she said, giving him one last squeeze and letting go. Monkey was at her feet, and, laughing, she picked him up. "So I see you have a dog?"
"Yeah! His name's Monkey!" cried Cosmo. Still laughing, Wanda scratched behind Monkey's ears. Monkey smiled—smiling in the way only dogs can—and licked her check.
"That means he likes you!" said Cosmo. He took Wanda's free hand in his. "Then again, I don't think it's possible for anyone to not like you."
"Oh, Cosmo…" Wanda stroked Cosmo's hand and gave it a squeeze.
How could someone as good as him be so sweet to someone like her?
"After Wanda met Monkey, she slept. And slept. She slept like she hadn't slept in ages! But once she woke up, I took care of her in the best way I could—I made her breakfast in bed, even though I'm not a good cook, and I put flowers in her room every day, although sometimes I accidentally picked poison oak—my hands get sore just remembering that! And we took walks every day, and I told her all about ping pong, and shrimp, and becoming a rich guy… I did most of the talking. Wanda usually just listened."
"…we kept on getting really weird stuff, like a toilet seat, and once we got this old army boot, and…"
Cosmo's voice trailed off when he became aware that Wanda wasn't listening to him anymore. Looking ahead, he noticed where they were—the house where she spent her earliest years. Her uncle's house.
It had been years and years ago, but Cosmo still felt a chill run down his spine as he recalled her uncle's terrible voice. Actually, he felt worse than he had back then. He was older now and understood things better—not much better, but there was still a small improvement as the years went by. And he knew, maybe not how, but he knew that Wanda's uncle had hurt her, both physically and emotionally. He felt his blood boiling—it was a good thing her uncle died years ago, otherwise Cosmo would have had a hard time controlling his urge to find him and punch him.
Wanda stared too, feeling even more chilled than Cosmo. It had all started here. Every terrible thing about her, it was all HIS fault, damn him, damn him, he made her scared, he made her run away from Cosmo, he hurt and terrified that innocent little girl, he offered no stability, thanks to him she wasn't able to accept stability—dropped out of college and resorted to drugs and sex—her life had gone to hell and HE caused it!
She reached down, grabbed a large rock, and hurled it at the house so quickly that Cosmo jumped back from shock. She hurled another, and another, and soon she had run out of rocks.
"More rocks, Cosmo!" she shrieked. "Rocks, boulders, anything, I don't care, help me destroy this house!" She fell to the ground and wept in frustration and anger.
Cosmo fell to his knees and took Wanda in his arms, trying his best to comfort her. "It's not the house's fault, Wanda, it was your uncle and he's dead now…" Oh God, please don't cry, I can't stand seeing you hurt… "Look, it's old anyway! It'll probably fall down pretty soon!" How could anyone ever hurt you like this?
"It's all his fault," Wanda choked, "my whole life has been crap and it all started with him. He hurt me, Cosmo…"
"I know… Oh God, Wanda, how could he?"
"I was young… everything he did to me back then has made my life what it is now… why couldn't I have had my parents there, people who actually cared about me?"
"I was there," whispered Cosmo, stroking her hair as Wanda continued to shake and tremble against his shoulder. "I always have been… even back then… but I didn't stop him… I should have helped…" No, no, you dummy, don't cry! You have to help Wanda feel better—you can't start crying yourself! Don't cry—
Cosmo began to shake with tears as well. "I didn't help you at all…"
"Yes you did," whispered Wanda, crying freely into his shoulder.
"I didn't help…"
"Yes you did…"
"I guess," said Cosmo in melancholy recollection, "I guess sometimes there just aren't enough rocks."
O.o.O
A few evenings later, Cosmo was watching the bicentennial parties on the TV, waiting for Wanda to come back. She had said she was going out to get something, although when Cosmo asked what that something was, she had just said, "No, no, it has to be a surprise!" That left him to talk to Monkey, who was sitting on his lap.
"Do you know what today is, Monkey?" he asked his Chihuahua. "It's July 4th, 1976! America's two hundred years old today! That's really cool, isn't it?"
Monkey made a whimpering noise.
"Yeah, I wish Wanda would come back too," said Cosmo unhappily, slumping down in his chair. "I wonder what she's bringing back? Maybe another Chihuahua?"
Monkey growled.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't replace you!" cried Cosmo. "Just maybe a little girl Chihuahua to keep you company. I wonder what I'd name her? Monkette? Nah, that's too weird. Maybe Chimpanzee?"
Monkey made a moaning noise and covered his paws over his eyes.
"Hey, you try naming a Chihuahua! It's harder than it looks!" cried Cosmo.
Suddenly, both Monkey's and Cosmo's ears perked up as they heard the front door opening and closing. "Cosmo! I'm back!" called Wanda.
"Ooh! Ooh! What did you get, lambchop?" cried Cosmo, leaping to his feet. Monkey got out of harm's way just in time.
"Come over here and see!" said Wanda playfully.
Cosmo ran to the front door—Wanda was standing in the doorway, grinning as if she was keeping the world's juiciest secret.
"What is it? What is it?" cried Cosmo, bouncing up and down.
"Well, after… after that episode a few days ago, at my uncle's house…" Both Wanda and Cosmo grew a bit more melancholy at the mention of the house. "It really upset me there, but I didn't mean to upset you too, and… and I wanted to apologize," said Wanda with a shrug.
"But Wanda," said Cosmo, "I'm here to take care of you—don't you know that? If you're upset, than I'm upset too, and when you're happy, I'm happy!"
"I know, I know, and I can't thank you enough for that!" cried Wanda. "And so I wanted to get you something in return for all you've done for me these past few weeks." Grinning, she stepped aside to reveal…
"A unicycle!" Cosmo was ecstatic. "How did you know I've always wanted a unicycle?"
"I seem to recall you telling me that you wanted one when we were ten years old," said Wanda, still grinning. "I figured you would probably still want one."
"Thank you, Wanda!" cried Cosmo, playing with the pedals on his new plaything. "You're…" His gaze grew soft with love. "You're so amazing."
Wanda smiled as she let Cosmo look at her like that—Lordy, why had she never let Cosmo love her before? These past few weeks were better than the rest of her meaningless life.
But…
Wanda felt her face drop a bit as Cosmo returned to his unicycle. Was it really fair to drop in on Cosmo like this? He had such a better life, he had such a potential to go on and do great things, but with Wanda there and interrupting his life just because she wanted love—a love that she really didn't deserve in the first place, what did Cosmo see in her anyway?—seemed so unfair to Cosmo.
She very suddenly felt a bit sick.
"I'm kinda tired, Cosmo," she said, feigning a yawn. "I think I'll go to bed now."
"Okay, goodnight, angel!" said Cosmo, still playing with his unicycle, not even looking back.
Despite herself, Wanda grinned. "Goodnight, sweetie."
She turned around and began to climb up the stairs.
Cosmo suddenly stopped spinning the pedals around on his unicycle—what was happening to him? Wanda had just given him one of the best presents in the world, and he was hardly acknowledging her. He was—what was the term?—taking her for granted.
What if she was feeling unloved?
What if she left?
No! She couldn't! Cosmo needed her, and she needed to be happy, and Cosmo was bending over backwards to keep her happy—but what if it wasn't enough? What if she left? No, no, no! Not after she finally came back into his life—she couldn't leave him! He had to make her stay. He just had to. But how?
"Wanda!" cried Cosmo, nearly tripping as he scrambled to his feet. Wanda, halfway up the stairs, turned around.
"Yes, Cosmo?"
"Will—will you marry me?"
Wanda's hand clutched the railing a little tighter.
There was a long silence—too long.
"Why not?" whispered Cosmo, correctly interpreting the silence as a negative, tears beginning to stream down his face like water running down a glacier.
Wanda turned her face away, the sight of Cosmo's tears making her want to throw up from guilt. "You… you don't want to marry me, Cosmo."
"If I didn't want to marry you, I wouldn't have asked you!" cried Cosmo. "Why don't you love me, Wanda? What… what have I done wrong?"
"Cosmo—"
Trembling, Cosmo spun around and walked towards the door, stopping right before he got there. He turned around and looked Wanda in the eye. "I may not be a smart man, but I do know what love is." With that, he opened the door, walked outside, and slammed it shut behind him.
Wanda, her vision blurred by fast-springing tears, ran up the stairs to her room.
O.o.O
That night, Cosmo laid awake in bed, staring at the ceiling.
"I almost wish I never fell in love with her at all," he mumbled to Monkey. "It's a good thing you don't know any girl dogs. Monkey?"
He looked down on the floor, at the foot of the bed, where Monkey always slept. He was sound asleep.
"Lucky," he mumbled. "Lucky you don't love anyone. Lucky you don't have to listen to me talk. I wish I'd never seen her at all. Because there's no possible way I could ever stop loving her now." He looked down at Monkey again—still asleep. "Aw, why am I even talking to you? Even if you were awake you can't understand me!"
Something white moved past his window.
Shooting up like a rocket, Cosmo looked at the visitor—it was Wanda, in that white nightgown of hers that made her look like an angel. An angel without wings. Well, that's what she was, anyway.
And Wanda looked at Cosmo, that wiry body of his, his ruffled hair, those sleepy yet still wide-open eyes, that expression that was attempting to be angry but failing miserably—there was no way he could hide that love.
She couldn't hide it anymore, either.
Hardly giving any time for Cosmo to fake a protest, she climbed in on top of him and wrapped her arms around his neck, although they didn't stay there for long—his hair was just begging to be stroked. "Cosmo, I do love you," she whispered.
Cosmo's eyes grew wide. "What?" he gasped.
Wanda smiled and, clearing his confusion, she pressed her lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. Cosmo felt his brain, his heart, everything in him explode.
This… this… this could not be happening to him!
Wanda pulled away and nearly laughed—Cosmo's eyes were still the size of baseballs. With one arm still around his neck and the other still stroking his messy hair, she felt her eyes sting with tears again. "Why didn't I tell you sooner?" she whispered, shaking her head.
Seeing Wanda's tears seemed to shake Cosmo out of his trance, and now, having convinced himself that this WAS actually happening to him (and if it wasn't, he might as well take advantage of this anyway, because she sure FELT real), wrapped his arms around her waist, and…
Wanda rolled over to Cosmo's side—she was tired of taking the initiative, she wanted to know what it felt like to really, truly be loved—no hindrances, just real love, something that only Cosmo had ever given her. And even then, Wanda had only let him show a tiny portion of it—but now she wanted, more than anything, ALL of his love. All of it.
She got her wish when Cosmo kissed her—never had she been kissed so tenderly and at the same time so passionately. She felt like she was melting in his arms.
Cosmo pulled away, breathing heavily, as if he still couldn't believe this was actually happening to him. "I never did stop loving you, Wanda," he whispered, kissing her damp cheeks. "Never, not for one second—not for one millisecond!—not for one—What's shorter than a millisecond?"
"Oh, I don't know," whispered Wanda, giggling.
"Well, however long that is…" Cosmo's arms slid up and down her back as he gazed into Wanda's moist eyes, their faces millimeters away. Soon they were together in a kiss again, although neither of them knew who had initiated it. Perhaps they both did.
Wanda felt like her whole mind, heart, body, was on fire—she had never imagined what it was like to be so completely in love like this—she had never fathomed that someone like her, who had been so hurt in her life, could feel anything like this!
All her life she had wanted to fly away—fly away from the world and everything in it. Nowhere had she felt wanted, like she belonged. But now she didn't want to fly—she knew where she belonged, she knew where home was—it was Cosmo's arms and nowhere else.
"I love you so much," she murmured as their kiss pulled away.
"I love you more than… more than all the money I've made from shrimping!" said Cosmo, feeling dumb—it was far more than that, you couldn't assign a number to his love—but he didn't know how to say it. He didn't know if there WAS a way to say it.
As if she knew what he was thinking, Wanda whispered into his ear, "Show me how much you love me."
She pulled away just long enough to pull her nightgown off of her. And, unlike that time all those years ago in college, Cosmo didn't feel ashamed to look at her body—this time completely bare. He had never, ever seen anything so beautiful, so… so…
O.o.O
The next morning, Monkey was the first to notice the taxi, as he gave his characteristic yaps at the intruder.
Wanda bent down and scratched behind Monkey's ears. "I'll miss you, Monkey," she said quietly.
As if knowing what she had said, Monkey gave a sad whimper and nuzzled against her leg.
"Take care of Cosmo for me," she whispered. "I know you'll do a better job than I could…"
She picked up her small bag and walked towards the taxi, don't look back, don't look back…
How on earth could she do this to Cosmo?
He had such a good life without her—what right did she have to go and ruin it? What right did she have to fall in love with such a perfect, sweet, caring… And since he was in love with her too, she just had to use that to her advantage!
She wasn't being fair to Cosmo. He deserved someone much better than her. She needed to get away; she had to stop breaking into his life all the time.
The taxi driver held open the taxi door for her. "Where are you running to?" he asked.
"I'm not running," snapped Wanda. "You're taking me away."
"Whatever. Get in."
As the taxi drove off, Wanda watched house disappear, and she felt those tears return—she shed them for the life with Cosmo that she wanted so badly, but could never have—she had no right to it.
Why hadn't she accepted his love sooner?
O.o.O
(AN: I love sad endings to chapters. Cuz if it was a happy ending to a chapter, you'd all feel happy and have no need to continue reading the stories, right?
Anyway, I should probably add in a note of explanation about Monkey—I honestly wasn't planning to give Cosmo a dog. It just happened as I was typing—I couldn't stand to see the poor guy so alone. He did help the plot along in some places, though, at least I think so. In fact, I wonder why Forrest didn't have a dog in the movie.
The big chapter One-Oh is comin' up next. So stay tuned, stay cool, and see you then, all my fine peeps!)