Gendo Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Disclaimer; I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or the song this is parodied from. I'm only borrowing the lyrics and the character.
Author's Notes: This is my first time doing a song-fic for the Holiday Season. Along with an end-cap of sorts with hint of lemon. Will be up until 27 Dec 18. Happy Holidays, all!
Gendo got run over by a reindeer
Walking through Tokyo-3 on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Asuka
We believe
He'd been too distracted
Hatching his next plot
Fuyutsuki begged him not to go
Outside the Geofront
He only waved it off and walked out of his office
When we found him Christmas Morning
It was like a scene of an Angel attack
He had hoof-prints on his forehead
And incriminating Clause-marks on his back
Gendo got run over by a reindeer
Walking through Tokyo-3 on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Asuka
We believe
Now we're all so scared of Gendo
He hasn't been taking this so well
Sitting in his office and brooding
Planning on canceling NERV's next Christmas Party
It's not Christmas with Gendo
All NERV personnel are dressed in black
And we all can't help but wonder
When or if Santa will come back to finish the job
Gendo got run over by a reindeer
Walking through Tokyo-3 on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Asuka
We believe
Now we have to sneak the Christmas Goose
Onto the table
And the pudding made of fig
Along with share language so blue
It goes beyond Ayanami's hair
Now all our friends and neighbors
Are watching out
For Santa's next visit
So he can come back to finish the job
Gendo got run over by a reindeer
Walking through Tokyo-3 on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Asuka
We believe
Gendo got run over by a reindeer
Walking through Tokyo-3 on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Asuka
We believe
JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE
The sound of Sleigh bells catch Shinji Ikari's attention as he cooks the goose Misato Katsuragi had smuggled in through Ryoji Kaji's contacts. Causing him to look over at his red-haired roommate and secret crush.
"Hey, Asuka."
Her roommate and secret crush's voice gets her attention, prompting her to 'grudgingly' acknowledge him. Without even looking up at him.
"Yeah, Baka Shinji?" Nonplussed by her bored tone as he's used to it now, Shinji presses on.
"Are you hearing what I'm hearing?"
Shinji's question almost gets an eye-roll from the beautiful German girl. Until she hears the sound of sleigh bells. Her eyes going wide, she can't help but be gleeful in her reply as she gets up.
"I am! I am!"
"Let's hope he finishes the job this time, huh?"
"Ja! Ja!"
Facing Shinji now, she sees he has a soft smile on his face. The smile brings a smile to her face as she looks down at her outfit of t-shirt and shorts. Looking at his outfit of his school uniform, she can only grin haplessly.
"You'll never change." Suddenly smirking, Asuka brings up a small plant that Shinji doesn't recognize.
"What's that, Asuka?"
"Mistletoe."
"What's it for?"
In the background, Gendo cries out in pained shock before screaming in agony. Only for his screams to die out.
Smirking still, Asuka's smirk turns sultry before she dangles the mistletoe between them.
"It's part of a holiday tradition where I'm from, silly baka."
"What kind of tradition is it?" Needless to say, Shinji is really quite curious. Causing Asuka to smile softly now.
"This."
With that, she presses her lips to Shinji's. This time without squeezing his nose shut. Mindful of Shinji's arms wrapping themselves around her, she grins happily as she does the same. Dropping the mistletoe in the process. As the two lock lips with each other, Santa's voice is faintly audible to them.
"You've been so naughty these past few years, Gendo Ikari. Coal's too good for you, you're not even worth a small clump. Same for those SEELE schmucks."
Santa then chortles before looking up at the Katsuragi/Ikari/Sohryu apartment.
"Merry Christmas, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu. And many more Merry Christmases to those around the world that would've suffered from Gendo's machinations." With that, he lets out a big laugh.
"HOHOHO! Merry Christmas everybody!"
With that, he takes off. Unaware that Shinji and Asuka are getting naughty with each other after their first true kiss. Removing their clothes as the prepared goose is placed in the oven, said oven being off.
"I expect next Christmas, I'll have an extra pair of stockings to fill waiting for me at this place."
Or is he?
On the ground, Gendo's broken body is slowly being covered by a rare item in Tokyo-3. Snow. Causing his 'disappearance' from Tokyo-3 until the snow thaws New Years Eve. Shinji and Asuka, however…
As Shinji pumps his 'baster' in her 'turkey', Asuka can't help but cry out in enraptured glee.
"Oh my Baka Shinji! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Wrapping her legs around Shinji's waist, she purrs as she says, "Take me to your futon, you stud." Nodding, Shinji kisses her as he walks them into his room.
Fifteen minutes later, as Shinji stares down at his red-haired love on his futon, he gives her a soft smile.
"Merry Christmas, Asuka." Smiling softly back up at her brown-haired love, Asuka strokes his face.
"Merry Christmas, Shinji." With that, the two kiss passionately before resuming his 'basting' of her.