Chapter 3: All You Want
The rest of the week, both couples did everything in their power to avoid each other. Which essentially meant only hanging out at their houses so that there was no chance to run into the other again. Ellie knew this was really stupid and juvenile and was not going to work forever, but she was content to play along for now. On one of her usual sleepless nights she even had this strange fleeting thought that she didn't really like seeing Ashley and Jimmy together either. She buried that one real fast because it was going to give her way too much of a headache to think about why that was.
One day when Ellie arrived at Craig's house, she went to walk into the already opened garage door, only to hear Craig talking to Joey. She was about to just walk in anyway, but something stopped her. It was what she heard him saying. He was talking, or rather, venting, to Joey about them. "It was just so weird, Joey. There she was sitting there with one of my best friends. I mean I know they went out before but that was before us and I just didn't see this coming. I felt so bad that I couldn't shake it off for Ellie, and I know we're doing the same thing to Ash, but she broke up with me. I wasn't ready to end it and she was." "Well, maybe you just have to get used to it?" "I don't think I can, I mean as corny as it sounds, she's my Ashley and I'm her Craig. At least that's the way it was supposed to be. But you know what? Maybe you're right I just need to let it go and get used to it."
At this point, Ellie was ready to make a beeline for home. A long time ago something like that would have made her want to cut herself, but she tried to repeat to herself what Marco had told her, 'You're an amazing girl'. So instead she went to go find him. Marco always had a way of figuring out what to do. She hoped he wasn't out with Dylan.
Luckily, Marco was home and just by looking at her he could sense Ellie's hurt and desperation. "Tell me what happened. I'll go get some cookies." She had to laugh a bit at this, of course he would play the typical girl role more than she would. After doing her best to tell what was said without cringing the whole time, she finished by asking him a simple question, "What do I do?" She looked at him with hope, "I mean, it seemed to be kind of positive for me at the end, right?" Marco has that sympathetic look on his face that she hates, but he quickly dismisses it to put on a more stern one. "El, you already know what you have to do." He moved his face so that she was forced to look him in the eye. "You have to let him go. You have to let this go. It's always going to be her. I had a feeling this would happen but I wanted to wait it out to see if just maybe I was wrong." Ellie knew he was right, but part of her still didn't want to give up the fight so easily. "It's not you, Ellie. Sometimes people just have this thing where no matter who they're with, they'll always still want that one person. It sucks, I know. But, what can you do? You are second best to no one, El…so what are you gonna do?" Now she had no choice but to agree with him, she didn't want to be the one that Craig, or anyone, just settled for. "Alright, I'm going. You don't have to push me out now." Marco playfully mussed up Ellie's hair and gave her a one-armed hug, "That's my girl."
This time when Ellie reached Craig's garage door, she knocked and actually walked in. He was messing around on his guitar and actually looked happy to see her. She didn't doubt that he was happy to see her or that he liked her. But, as Marco said, it wasn't enough. He could never like or even love her the way she wanted him to. "Hey, there you are. I thought you were supposed to come over earlier?" She tried really hard not to make a face at this. "Um, yeah I know I just got caught up. Hey, listen, before we say anything I else I need to talk to you." Craig furrowed his brows, like he had no idea what she could possibly want to talk seriously about, but set his guitar down so he could pay attention to her. "Try not to interrupt me until I'm finished, okay." "Oookay, but El, you're weirding me out here."
Ellie took a deep breath and just decided to lay it all out right away, no stupid background story leading up to the big highlight, she just wanted to get it said. "We have to stop seeing each other." As Craig moved to talk she gave him a pointed look to remind him of their agreement. "I've thought about it a lot, and I just can't compete with you and Ash. And you know what? I don't want to." At this point Craig interjected before she had a chance to stop him again. "What? Ellie what are you talking about me and Ash aren't together, remember?" Now Ellie just couldn't resist rolling her eyes. "It's not about that, Craig. It's about the way you acted when you saw her with Jimmy. It's about how you were afraid to tell her about us. And the fact that you're still in love with her. Maybe not actively, but deep down it's there, and it always will be. Craig, I don't want to be anyone's second choice and that's what I would be if you stayed with me and pretended to ignore your feelings for Ash." Craig still seemed a little upset, but he also showed that he was beginning to understand what she was saying. "If we stayed together everyone would lose. I would still have problems with Ash and she would resent me, you would eventually resent me too, and I would resent myself for not doing what's best for me."
Craig stood up and gave her a defeated look, "So what now?" "You figure out when you'll admit that you want to get back together with Ash, and wait for her to do the same. And don't worry about me, I think there might be someone for me after all. Someone who I was too blind to see what I could have with, but if I'm patient enough, maybe he'll forgive me." She moved to walk out but Craig stopped her one last time, "But what about us? I don't want to lose you, Ellie, I mean I don't want to lose my friend." She smiled at this. "Don't worry, Craig, that's not possible. We'll be okay." "Promise?" "Yeah, I promise." As she walked out and away from him, Ellie genuinely smiled for the second time that night.