AN: First, I apologize to my millions of devoted fans, who have been eagerly counting the minutes until the next instalment of Shattered Flowers for My Beloved. Jycellaemynthia is so, so sorry you had to suffer such a long wait between chapters just because some rude people had to go and ruin it for you.
Now, Jycellaemynthia would have written her chapter ages ago. Why, nothing would have made her happier than to have touched your hearts with my words a few months sooner. But last chapter Jycellaemynthia left you all a simple request, and that was to give her thirty nice reviews. So she posted her fic. And then she waited. And then Jycellaemynthia waited some more. But the reviews didn't come. So she waited some more. And there were still no reviews. And this was after a full ten minutes.
Finally, she did get reviews. But when she read the reviews, what did they say? Did they appreciate the subtle nuances of her masterpiece? NO! They were making fun of me. Obviously, you people are crazy. This is a sad tale of love and loss, not one of those stupid humour fics. You're all crazy! Stop being so crazy, you crazy people. What guide are you talking about? Who is that Evil What's-Her-Face? Crazy!
But true artists have always been persecuted by the unenlightened masses. So even though you didn't give me thirty nice reviews, I gave in, and posted two servings of sap at once. But no more. There BETTER be six thousand, nine hundred, and twenty-eight reviews by my next update, and they BETTER all be nice. Or else...I may just lose the will to continue. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you? So review! Review five times! Make each word in your review a separate review. I don't care if it's against site regulations.
Disclaimer: Jycellaemynthia still doesn't own FF7. However, Jycellaemynthia does own Jycellaemynthia.
It was a beauteous spring day. The sun emitted a bastion of luminescent illumination like a succulent and perspiring torch, which flickered with the flames of separate incendiaries (AN: I love that word!) and cataclysms. The evanescent calcifying caress of warmth inflamed the epidermis of our handsome hero, Cloud Strife.
Cloud walked up, his frail heart hammering in his chest, his beautiful sparkling blue eyes filling with tears of joy. He was overcome with a sublime blissfulness. Ever since the day that his beloved had returned to him, barely a moment had passed without him smiling at how joyous she had made him. (AN: Look at how happy Cloud is with Arrise! Cloris OTP!)
So now, it was time for him to repay her for all the joy she had brought him.
He knocked upon the stately, mahogany door of the humble abode of Barret Wallace, who was doing something or other, because I forget what I said Barret's job was in this fic.
"Sup, foo'?" exclaimed Barret exuberantly. "Foo', long time no see, foo'."
Cloud solemnly looked at his friend in the eyes, and felt the gravity of the moment overcome him. This was it, the moment of truth.
"Barret," he began, a nervous feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. "Forgive me, but...I need 5000 gil. It's to bring a smile to my sweet Arieas's face again, and buy her a Hannukah present that someone as special as her deserves."
(AN: Hey, there's nothing that says that Cloud and Aeeriezesh aren't Jewish! After all, I believe that someone as intelligent and virtuous as Cloud would know the one true religion, and my favourite FF7 characters should be allowed in heaven. Besides, it's a fanfic. I can do whatever I want.)
Barret frowned. "Damn, Cloud, I ain't got that much, but if it's for love's sake, den I guess I understand."
"Oh, thank you," cried Cloud emotionally, joyously, happily, cheerfully, and redundantly, grabbing Barret in a heartfelt embrace. "You know, you're the best friend I've ever had!"
(AN: Oh, but how will Artishe react to Cloud's present? Next scene…)
It was almost sunset, and our young telepathic heroine was gazing out her window, awaiting the arrival of her handsome prince, Cloud Strife.
"If only my Cloud were here to comfort me," whispered Aeerryis plaintively, her emerald orbs sparkling with unborn tears.
Shattered flowers in the windMy love I have-
"Hey, Aeraesrs."
"Oh, Cloud, my beloved!" she cried out, turning to Cloud in the doorway. "I felt so incomplete without you there to light the Hannukah candles by my side."
Cloud smiled. "I will," he assured, "for it is our duty to honour our brave forefathers, the Maccabees. But first, I would like to present you with something that is worthy of your divine presence."
He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small jewellery box. "Open it," he whispered. "For Hannukah."
Aiyres opened the box. When she saw what was inside, she gasped.
Cloud had given her a seventeen-million carat diamond necklace, set with silver and sapphires, with a solid gold chain. Its silver trimming framed the beautiful heart-shaped stone, and each sapphire was in the shape of a perfect oval. This necklace, forged during the first age of mankind's history, had been thought lost to the ages, and was perhaps the rarest, most precious piece of jewellery to have ever existed, but Cloud, in his unnatural generosity, had procured it for his darling Aarco. It was said to grant its bearer good fortune in life and love. The dazzling light that shimmered off the exquisitely crafted necklace would have blinded anyone who was not a superhuman half-Cetra like herself.
"Cloud," she cried. "That's so thoughtful of you. Why, you're the kindest, most wonderful being I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my entire life!"
"You too," whispered Cloud softly, his beautiful blue Mako eyes glowing fervently and passionately. "Oh, Aensis, you mean absolutely everything to me. You are my one remaining reason for living. You are the light of my life."
Aedarosese smiled radiantly and knowingly, her extraordinarily long and flowing chestnut hair falling gracefully over her soft and delicate shoulders, which were as pale as a blossoming lily in springtime. "It's so wonderful to be back here on Earth with you, with the time I have been given," she uttered romantically.
And as they lit the Hannukiah together, they held hands, rejoicing in each other's company.
(AN: Aww, aren't they such cutie-wuties -huggles Cloud and Arcsith.- But eww...now Jycei has to write the boring scenes. But don't worry; if you give me some...encouragement -winks at reviewers-, there will be more sap next update.)
Tifa scowled as she tied her dirty apron around her (flabby) waist. It was nine o'clock in the evening, and her (mildewed) feet were killing her. The peak weekday hours, when middle-aged men would come to unwind at the Turtle's Paradise after work, were almost over, but there remained a few boorish customers who were calling for more drinks. Tired and frazzled, she went around from table to table, serving them all. Some of them would make rude catcalls at her as she passed by. Not that she minded, of course; she loved the attention, even from such unattractive suitors, like the whore that she was.
As she ducked behind the bar to get a new glass, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror (AN: And it broke! Burn!). She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. Really, if she didn't take better care of herself, Cloud would never like her (AN: Not that he ever will, because you're so fugly! DOUBLE BURN!).
Just then, the bar doors swung open, and who should walk in, but a familiar face...
Reno Vegas, formerly of the Turks.
(AN: I spent ages coming up with that last name!)
Even though the Turks had disbanded, he still managed to keep busy. Now he was involved with organized crime and the black market. For his heart…was black.
What time he had free, he spent drinking. He had a heavy heart, from his many sorrows. Every day, he went, drowning his sorrows in alcohol, like a drowning man. His sorrows weighted upon his heavy heart, which was black…and drowning. In pain. Like a drowning man who was drowning in alcohol. (AN: WAAAAA! Poor Reno-chan!)
But he hid his sorrow with laughter. And drinking. Like a drowning man. So whenever he came to the Turtle's Paradise, he flirted with Tifa, even though she was a hideous freak with B.O.
"Hey, hunnny," slurred Reno. "How're yuh doin'?"
Tifa rolled her vacant, stupid and cow-like eyes at him. "Oh, can't you find some other dump to hang around?"
"C'mon, be nishe." Reno staggered towards the bar, nearly knocking over a nearby barstool. "What'sh thuh matter wif you t'day?"
"None of your business. What do you want to order?"
"How 'bout a beer?" Reno lurched forward. "I'll pay yuh back laturr, I shwear..."
"Nice try. So what are you up to now? Are you still into illegal weapons trafficking?"
Reno straightened his posture, and said: "Rude has a few connections in Junon who help us smuggle weapons into places like Midgar, where Elena is stationed in Sector 5. I'm in Costa del Sol to help direct shipments of weapons that are bound for the Great Continent and Wutai, coming in from the Junon-Costa port, which are sent over from Junon in secret compartments hidden in the stomachs of trained dolphins. We've recently bought an ice cream stand on the beach that serves as a front for our operation, and we use it to send messages to our people in Costa by writing them on Popsicle sticks. We employ a force of messenger parakeets, equipped with international global positioning devices, to communicate with our long-distance contacts. Most of our sales are to Wutai, and we ship them there through a network of underground tunnels, which are maintained by a robot task force. Weapons are in huge demand in Wutai, as the Emperor is trying to build up an army, so we're not doing too badly. But lately, to earn some money on the side, we've been branching out into mercenary work, assassinations..."
Tifa was in the middle of wiping a filthy glass with a rag, when she looked up abruptly. In a flash, she knew what to do. An odd smile appeared on her (pimply) face.
"Reno, there's something I need to tell you...the Ancient has returned."
Reno, who was slumped back in his seat, laughed drunkenly. "Y'mean Errish? Whoa, thass inshane!"
Tifa scowled. "It's horrible. Just when everything was going so well, she has to come back from the dead to ruin everything for me."
He smirked. "Thass too bad. I guesh now Cloud'll never give you any action..."
"OUT!" yelled Tifa, grabbing a broom and waving it menacingly at him.
"Fine," muttered Reno. With great difficulty, he stood up and wobbled toward the door. He was almost out, when-
"Wait!" He turned around as he heard Tifa's voice. "You said that you're involved in assassinations, right?"
(AN: Ooh, wouldn't you like to know what they're saying? Is it a cliffie? Me thinks so…
…HA! Just fooling you. This chapter isn't over yet. And now, get ready. You are about to be mesmerized. You thought it was brilliant so far up until now, right? Well, it'll just get better, for…wait for it…
…Not yet…
…You're getting there…
…Now, Jycellaemynthia shall introduce you to...)
A lone figure sat in the corner of the bar. Although she was cloaked, had anyone seen her, they would have noticed how ravishingly beautiful she was. Strands of her dazzling golden hair were visible from underneath her hood, and her amethyst eyes glowed in the darkness. Her elegant figure emanated a brilliant beacon of light, and birds and small animals gathered at her feet to bask in her warm presence. Yet she was still unnoticed by Tifa, Reno, or any of the other remaining patrons.
Jycellaemynthia would normally never venture into such a seedy establishment, but something--intuition, perhaps--had guided her there that night. Now, she recoiled in horror at what she had overheard.
"That poor girl," she exclaimed softly. "I must do something to help her!"
(…JYCELLAEMYNTHIA!)
AN: Did Jycei surprise you? She liked the name so much that she decided to give it to her OC. (BTW, I look like that in real life! I'm also very good with animals, and people tell me that I am very kind-hearted. Jycellaemynthia and I share a special bond, one that transcends universes. It is as if our souls were one, or as if she were my doppelganger who grew up in another time and place.) But don't worry; for all of you biased OC haters, I was careful not to make her a Mary-Sue. She's allergic to walnuts.
OMG, so do you like this chappie? Well, guess what? THERE'S MORE! All you have to do is click on the little arrow and find out more about the mysterious woman. I promise you that you will not be disappointed. What follows shall blow you away with its eloquence and poeticism.
But before you do that…don't forget to click the review button. Jycellaemynthia was nice enough to give you more than one chapter at a time. But Jycellaemynthia doesn't work for free. So REVIEW!