AN: Sorry about the last chapter I didn't really mean to drag the not knowing out like that. Here's chapter 10 I hope you enjoy it. Also on a totally unrelated matter to the story those of you who are reading from the States this is a strange question but is there a piece of legislation or a government policy on the use of 'reasonable force' to defend your home from intruders. It'd be a big help if someone could answer that as i'm doing the English version of the policy for a piece of coursework.
Anyway thanks to the reviewers and readers, I hope you enjoy chapter 10 which is an Amy centric.
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Chapter 10
After leaving her parents house she simply ran as far as she could, she needed to get away, she needed to breathe again. Everyone was suffocating her, saying they were there to help her but there was nothing they could do except give her space and they wouldn't even do that. She was so intent on getting away that she didn't even notice that she wasn't wearing shoes or a coat, she's just ran. Running cleared her head, it always did, she ran as far and as fast as she could, not stopping until she couldn't breathe properly. By that point she'd arrived at the beach and that's when she realised she wasn't wearing any shoes, with a heavy sigh she sat down on the sand and stared out towards the Atlantic ocean listening to the waves breaking and allowing it to calm down both her breathing and her racing mind. When she'd gotten her breath back she began to cry again, she didn't want to cry in front of her family, she'd done enough of that the last few days and she couldn't take the sympathetic looks any more, she hated having them feel sorry for her and she hated the fact that he was out there.
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Amy didn't know how long she'd been sat at the beach; all she knew was that it was late and dark. She hated being outside in Long Island on her own in the dark, in fact she hated being anywhere on her own in the dark. She couldn't sleep without a nightlight and it made her feel like a baby, but she was just too scared and at least she had a reason, Casey was terrified of thunder storms and there wasn't a logical explanation for that. She felt a stab of guilt when she thought of her sister and how she'd simply ran off after shouting at her to leave her alone, she knew Casey was only trying to do what she thought was the right thing but she wasn't the one that had been raped. Casey only ever wanted to do the right thing but some times she just got on peoples nerves, but then that was Casey and as annoying as she was Amy loved her elder sister dearly. And if Amy was honest with herself she was pretty proud of the fact that she hadn't punched her sister as she ran past her out of the house, with a smile she realised that her enforced anger management classes had actually paid off.
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More time passed and Amy began to get hungry, she realised that she hadn't eaten properly since she went to the diner with Olivia a few days earlier. She looked at her watch and discovered that it had been almost 10 hours since she'd left the house and she was both hungry and cold wearing neither shoes nor a coat, the only positive thing about her situation was that she didn't feel as scared. Which itself was quite remarkable given the fact that she was sat on her own in the dark at the beach. Sitting and listening to the water had helped to relax her; she'd sat and listened to the waves breaking not thinking about anything for the first time in years, her breaths matching the sound of waves breaking. She felt safe despite where she was, whenever she'd been upset when she was a child she'd run until she was out of breath and then walk along the beach with her feet in the water, then she'd go to grandma's house, another safe haven. That's the first place Amy would have gone had she still been alive, Amy smiled as she imagined the old woman passing her an apron and telling her to wash her hands before they started baking whatever they felt like. No questions asked about how she was feeling, her grandma never needed to say anything, all she needed to do was give her a hug and set her to work in the kitchen, and it was something that Amy really missed. It was around the time of her grandmothers death that she'd met Jack, he'd become her safety net instead of cooking they'd go play soccer in the park or go for a run together, they could talk about anything and began a good relationship, then he went off and the relationship ended, Amy never wanted to hold him back thinking he deserved better than her. When he came back the friendship returned and after a few years and the Della Reeves case Amy felt safe enough to sleep with him, then Boston happened. Amy could picture her future with Jack, spending Sundays reading the paper together, taking their kids to school, being a soccer mum, it was what she wanted but she was too scared to tell anyone about it. Amy was worried they'd tell her they couldn't have it, part of her really wanted to be with Jack and go to Boston; it'd be a fresh start for the pair of them. But she'd said no, he'd suggested a long distance relationship and she said she doubted it'd work.
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"But why Amy? Tell me why we can't make this work?" Jack had asked the day she ended it.
"Because we can't Jack, we'll end up breaking up and hating each other and I can't afford to lose you as a friend, I love you too much." Amy said through tears.
"Then come with me, a fresh start for the pair of us away from New York." He pleaded with her through his own tears.
"Sorry Jack but I can't, I, I just can't." Amy cried walking out the door.
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Amy was brought back to reality when it started raining she stood up and settled herself under a nearby tree, she was cold and wet but she was beginning to see things a little more clearly, she knew why she didn't want to go to Boston, it was the same reason she'd ran off. She didn't know where Grant was, she didn't want to have to go to Boston with Jack and spend the entire time looking over her shoulder fearing those piercing eyes. She wanted to be there fully with him, true she was scared in New York but she had safe places there, the 1-6 was safe, her parents' house was safe, exposed as it was the beach was safe. In Manhattan Amy could run to Casey's apartment, to Cody's apartment or even to Olivia's apartment and be with people she felt safe with, she wouldn't have that in Boston and it scared her. For the last 13 years Amy Novak had been running from the same man and now he really was back to haunt her, she was tired of running and tired of fighting but she didn't know how to stop or what would happen to her when she stopped.
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She didn't know how or when but somehow she fell asleep in the rain under the tree, she woke up feeling more refreshed than she had done in a while despite the fact that she was cold, wet, hungry and thirsty. She'd woken up just in time to see the sunrise, she used to love getting up early and watching the sun come up when she was a little girl, "The start of a new day young Amy, anything's possible today." She remembered her brother George telling her many years ago, it was at sunrise and he'd gotten her up and taken her to the beach she was 9 and he was 21 just back from four years in the Marines, at the time she thought what he was saying made no sense, but as she sat there over 15 years later it suddenly made sense. She could go and start the day fresh, face her demons and get some dry clothes on, or she could keep hiding and give up, throw herself under a subway car. As much as she wanted to hide away and feel safe she knew that she couldn't, she had responsibilities to her family, to the team, to the victims who needed her help, she knew that she needed help and also that she needed Jack.
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She stood up and made her way down the beach letting the cold water wash her feet, she was so caught up in how relaxing the waves washing over her that she failed to notice the figure approaching her until he was about to reach out to her.
"Back off asshole!" She shouted spinning round and falling into the water with a loud splash.
"Amy it's me, come on surely the water isn't that warm?" The man asked reaching out to help her stand. When she realised who it was she simply started crying again and showed no intention of standing up, so he knelt down in the ice cold water next to her and pulled her into a hug.
"It's ok Amy; everything's going to be ok honey." He said rocking her gently as she sobbed.
"I'm scared Jack, he's out there and I can't face it anymore." She cried letting the strong man comfort her.
"I know honey, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, not without you. I'll never let anyone hurt you, never. I love you Amy and I hate seeing you like this." Jack replied tears falling down his own face. He held her in his arms the pair of them in the cold water when he realised that she was shivering. "Come on, I think you need checking out, staying out here all night can't have been good for you." He said lifting her up and carrying her to his car as if she was weightless, once they were both in the car he reached out to take hold of her hand, she let him and didn't let him go.
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Chapter 11 will be up as soon as i've done a little more on my dissertation and the mountain of work threatening to fall over on my desk. Em x.