Some Intentions Need Help Fixing

It was a Thursday surprisingly sunny afternoon, I was sitting on the grass with my best friend Alison, Aria, Hanna and Spencer. We had all been friend since the sixth grade, after being paired up for a project. It was amazing that five people could all be so different but yet get along so well, I mean like any friend group we had our disagreement and arguments. However, at the end of the day we knew we were there for each other.

Our friendship had only been tested over a year ago now, when the biggest secret I have held in my life was outed to the entire school. Someone had founded out I was gay and posted it all over school, I couldn't deny it any longer. It hurt too much and after doing so, I run from the school crying because no one was sticking up for me.

I thought the girls were turning their backs on me, when really they were just in shock. It's no excuse but I could understand hearing someone they are close with is gay and they didn't even know. I explained I was scared about my parents finding out, especially with the military side of things. It was Hanna who stated that they aren't my parents, that they loved me and didn't care who I date as long as I was safe and happy.

My being gay had spread around town, so it hadn't been long until my Mum overheard the news while shopping. She had stormed into my room just as Alison was hugging me. The next thing I knew I was packing a bag and going to live with Hanna and her Mum Ashley. I thought things at school would be bad, it took a lot encouragement from my friend to even attend school the following day.

What surprised me was no one seemed to care, I was just Emily who happened to be gay. That didn't change anything for them, or that's what Paige McCullers told me. The girl who I co-captained the swim team with and at the time my soon to be girlfriend. It had only taken two months for Paige and I to develop something more than friendship or co-captainship. Things had been going good until Paige refused to tell her parents about me or be out with me in public.

"How are things with Paige?" I heard Aria ask breaking me from my thoughts.

"Uh we've texted a little last night but not in person, not since the fight."

Hanna asked "Why doesn't she want to tell her parents?"

I replied with "In case the same thing that happened with my parents happens to her."

"But not all parents are like that," Spencer said.

"You don't really know what your parents are going to do, hence why so many kids stay in the closet until it's finally too painful not to."

"They just come out when it's too hard," Alison questioned.

I replied with "Some do but a lot also, uh kill themselves."

"Just for being gay?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah, uh for some kids it's too shameful, like being gay can be a disease for them and it's one that can't be cured. It's their own personal cancer," I say taking a moment to think of all the kids the worlds lost because being gay wasn't accepted.

Aria asked almost scared "Were you one of those kids? Did you ever think about ending it?"

Taking a deep breath, I look up saying "That's a loaded question. I, uh umm...didn't not think about it. I wasn't in that much of dark place to consider ending my life but the thought had crossed my mind."

"What happened to stop it from going further?" Spencer asked.

Looking directly at Hanna, I say "Hanna called asking if I wanted to go to the mall with her, she needed help picking out a birthday present for Caleb. She thought because I had part guy brain, I might know what he wanted."

"I remember that day, you seemed fine," Hanna spoke up.

I responded with "When your a kid who is gay, you tend to be pretty good at hiding things or keeping secrets."

"Wow, things got real," Alison said sitting up straight.

I speak up "I'm okay now though, my therapist thought I should've told you along time ago but it never seemed like the right time."

"Therapist?" Aria questioned.

Hanna answered "My Mum made her see one after moving in with us, I just didn't know you were still seeing her."

"Every Tuesday at 1:00pm," I say with a shrug.

Alison spoke "I thought you were doing extra swim practice then."

"I lied, I'm sorry. I just sometimes need an hour where it's just me and my thoughts alone."

"It's fine Emily, we understand and I'm glad you're okay now," Spencer said wrapping her arm around me from the side.

"Thanks Spencer," I say pecking her cheek quickly. Just as Alison went to say something, the sound of light music began to play. Confused by the sound of music, we all looked around the courtyard until we saw Paige standing on a table wearing the same blue suit she wore to homecoming last year. In the background I saw Caleb holding a boom box, which is were the music was coming from. Pushing myself to my feet, I walk all the way over the table until I'm standing looking up at Paige.

I go to speak, when Paige cuts in "Just listen, okay?"

"Okay," I answer with a nod.

Paige: "What have I done? I wish I could run away from this ship going under. Just trying to help, hurt everyone else now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders." As Paige sung I was amazed at beautiful soft soothing voice she held, I had known Paige could sing but this was my first time witnessing it.

Paige: "What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all that you touch tumbles down? Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?" I didn't understand what message Paige was trying to give off by singing this song. Her good is good enough for me, I love her.

Paige: "Can I start again with my faith shaken? Cause I can't go back and undo this, I just have to stay and face my mistakes. But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this." Paige took a step down from the table and stood on the seat. I chanced a look around and saw everyone in the courtyard had moved to watch, even people in the hallways inside stopped too watch what was going on.

Paige: "What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all you touch tumbles down. Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?" Looking into Paige's eyes I could see hurt, fear and sadness in them which I still didn't understand.

Paige: "So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air and accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair." I watched as Paige did throw her fist up in the air before bringing them down and continuing to sing.

Paige: "Yeah, I'll send out a wish. Yeah, I'll send up a prayer and finally someone will see how much I care."

Paige: "What can you do when your good isn't good enough? And all that you touch tumbles down? Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things. I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right? To get it right?" Paige spoke the last four words of the song almost as a question, asking me how to get it right. I didn't understand why she was asking because I thought Paige had gotten everything right so far, I was the one in the wrong. I should know better then anyone not to pressure anyone to come out, that it's their thing to do in their own time.

When I went to speak Paige placed a finger to her lips before speaking herself "I told my parents last night," I couldn't help that my chin dropped in shock of Paige's announcement.

Paige continued "I was scared to tell them Em, it wasn't because I didn't love you or didn't think you were not worth meeting them; I know that's what you thought. It's not true, you are worth introducing them to. I'm sorry it took so long for me to do this, but I finally told them and they can't wait to meet the girl their daughter is in love with."

"Your in love with me?" I asked while pointing at myself.

"You better believe it, I don't care who knows it. I AM IN LOVE WITH EMILY! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU EMILY!"

With a little help from Paige, I stood up on the sit bench with her and shouted "I AM IN LOVE WITH PAIGE MCCULLERS! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU PAIGE MCCULLERS!" After my declare of love for Paige, she pulled me in for a kiss. A long and beautiful kiss, which had everyone cheering for.

Pulling back from Paige, I asked "Why did you sing that song? I don't understand."

Paige smiled and answered "Because it's your favourite song from the show, I know you claim Don't Stop Believin' is your favourite but the amount of times I've walked in on you singing Get It Right, proves it's your favourite song."

"You really do know me," I say amazed.

"Yep," Paige answered simply before pulling me back into another kiss. Everything else that needed to happened after this could wait because for now I was enjoying kissing the girl of my dream and the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving.

The End.