When The Heartbreaks, No It Doesn't Break Evan

By: KJ99

"I hope the right person hears this. I'm not mad, I'm not sad. I'm just numb and need the right outlet to say goodbye," I heard myself speak into the microphone in front of me. I was facing away from my makeshift audience called the high school cafeteria. Gently tapping at the keys on the keyboard, I took a deep breath trying to gather my thoughts and feelings. As well as courage to actually go through with this. But I knew I needed to, this was something I needed to do or I'd never be over her and I wanted to slowly start the healing process of my heart. With another deep breath it was time, I thought before beginning to play the harsh melody that went with this painful song.

"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me." I don't dare open my eyes out of fear of backing out, of stopping and not being able to continue. Let alone look at her, I couldn't look at her.

"This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy."

"I need somebody to heal. Somebody to know, somebody to have. Somebody to hold." I deserved this and it may have taken far too long to realize this, but this was something I deserved to have.

"It's easy to say but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain." But saying goodbye to the person who helped you through all of your dark times and helped numbed all the pain, that was never easy.

"Now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all." She hadn't been there for so long, I kept wondering if she'd ever come back and be mine again; but it just wasn't the case anymore.

"I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug." I slowly raised my head up from the keys but I couldn't do it, I couldn't quite turn to look at her just yet.

"I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved." One time she loved me, one time I was everything to her and now I'm barely a smile down the hallway. I was the person she could always talk to and now she can barely meet my eye.

"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to. This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you." She was such an intense, fast paced moving person that I could never keep up with. One minute she wasn't sure and then next she was in love with, and now it's back to nothing.

"Now, I need somebody to know. Somebody to heal, somebody to have. Just to know how it feels." I always wondered if this is what love was like, this intensity feeling; like I'm always in this race against time. I always wondered what race we were in, why we always needed to move fast. Why could we never just stop to smell the rose."

"It's easy to say but it's never the same. I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape." Pulling my head back until I was looking up at the roof above me, I smiled because she did everything to help me escape. Always there when I needed someone to hold me and get me through all the dark moments, real or imagined. She was there and now, I thought, releasing a sigh into the microphone that held all my pain.

"Now the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down," I let it down again one last time to finally look over at the girl who broke my heart to see she was in a complete mess. I could see the tears rolling down her face and she allowed them to go, just kept staring directly at me. I felt my fingers quiver because really she wasn't a bad person, she wasn't but we just weren't to be and we, she realized all too late.

"And then you pulled the rug," I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes but I knew if I let them fall I wouldn't be able to continue. So, I took a deep breath, turned away from looking at her and continued through the song.

"I was getting kinda used to being someone you love, and I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes." The relief I always felt from closing my eyes and just imagining none of this had ever happened was truly bliss.

"I fall into your arms. I'll be safe if your sound 'til I come back around." Her hugs were legendary, they helped me get through so much, any dark moment I experienced and her arms were there to hold me.

"For now the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved." As I neared the end of the song, I could feel my heart starting to slowly shatter because once the song was finished there would be nothing but silence.

"But now the day bleeds into nightfall and you're not here to get me through it all." I decided in a swift moment to stop playing the keyboards and turn to look her in the eye because I needed to fully feel this break, or I'd never move forward in life.

"I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you love." I felt the first lot of my tears start to roll down my cheek and I couldn't care to stop them.

"I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug. I was," I paused genuinely wondering if I could get through this last part. In a weird moment our eyes kind of connected, she looked at me and I looked at her and it was like we had this silent agreement.

"I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved," we sang finishing the song together. Collectively ending our relationship together. Neither was sad or mad. We were just numb because it had been an intense two years together. We went through a lot together and made each other better people for it, but now it was time to say goodbye.

The cafeteria was quiet, I don't think anyone quite knew what to do. They just kept looking at me and then back at her, trying to work out if someone would saying something.

"Umm..yeah, thanks I guess," I spoke into the microphone before putting it back in its stand and preparing myself to leave.

I was halfway through putting my jacket on, when I heard a voice lightly sing "I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug, I was kinda getting used to being someone you loved." I looked to where the sound was coming from and it was her. I couldn't help but smile at her and she released a nervous chuckle before more tears rolled down her cheek. With that I started to make my way out of the cafeteria to leave everything I knew behind, to let everyone get back to their lives without me.

It was only when a voice shouted "Paige!" Did I stop in my spot close to the cafeteria doors and turn around to see she had run after me. We looked at each other for what seemed like the longest time, her with tears on her face and me with tears on my face. It was silent, nothing moved until suddenly I felt these massive arms wrap around me and hold me close. Another five minutes passed as we just stood embedded in this one spot just holding onto each other one last time. When the appropriate amount of time had passed we both began to detangle ourselves from each other.

"Goodbye Paige," she said in a voice filled with heartbreak but understanding we just weren't meant for each other.

"Goodbye Emily," I spoke back just as heartbroken but understanding we weren't meant for each other at all. I squeezed her hand one last time before dropping it and allowing her to fall back into her true soulmate's arms. The one person I had spent so much time hating and wishing hadn't come back to life. But knew was the right person for Emily's heart, Alison. We gave each other an understanding head nod before I turned around finally able to leave the cafeteria. The school. And the town of Rosewood.

The End.

A/N: Hi, so longtime no stories in a really long time. I just wanted to write a little something down here. I never thought I'd become like one of there writer's on here that would start stories and then never finish them. I never thought that would be me, I became a writer on here because I got annoyed at how many stories would stop and start, and be inconsistent with posting. I never wanted to be that, but now sadly that's what I have become. I still really do like writing and coming up with stories. But since PLL and even Glee for that matter have finished, I just haven't felt the point of writing. My life has moved and changed so much, that 2013 KJ and 2021 KJ are two different people, with different lives. I just want to say thank-you to you all for following me through all the different stories and tales that I have told and created through years. I have truly had fun sharing this FanFiction experience with you all. I truly hope that this isn't my break-up story with writing or posting on here. But, Thank-You all so much.

With Love, KJ99