Chapter 5: You Still Have Ron

Disclaimer: nope, I dont own HP...I wish, but I dont!

I found myself standing in front of Jeni in my living room and I knew I had a lot of explaining to do.

"Hermoine who the heck was that and why are you crying?" she was the type of person who didn't beat around the bush. When she wanted to know something she asked and she expected a truthful answer in return.

"It was Ron," I stopped crying abruptly and began pacing around the room. I saw Jeni's face pale.

"But you haven't seen him in years!"

"No kidding."

"Don't be smart with me, and would you stop pacing!" I cringed at her high screech and actually did stop to look at her. She didn't yell much and it had surprised me. She smiled, "Sit down hun, and tell me why you are crying."

"I can't sit, I'm too worked up. Oh my god you should have heard him Jen, he was acting all crazy. He started talking about how he talked to Harry before he left the Burrow and how he has been talking to Ginny lately."

"So?"

"Those are my two friends who past away," I mumbled quietly

"Oh my," she raised her eyebrows; I had known the girl for five years- she was now in thinking mode. "You never told me he was so weird!"

"I didn't know he was that messed up, it's as it was before he left. He would be perfectly normal then just start acting all weird. That's the only way to explain it," I tried to remember the day that caused Ron to begin changing so much.

---

It had been almost a year since Ginny's death, and everyone was starting to act and feel normal again. Well as normal as someone can act with the death of a dear friend and family member. There wasn't a day that we didn't all think of Ginny, not a day we didn't wish she could spend with us, but finally we were back to going among our daily routines. Almost just how life had been, almost.

"Ron if you don't clean up your clothes right now I will- I will..." Ron came over and put his arms around my waist. We were still not a couple but the fact that we liked each, a lot, was evident to anyone and everyone.

"You'll do what?"

"Hey that's not fair, you're playing on my emotions," I spun around to face him taking my wand out of my back pocket, "I'll hex you!"

He grabbed my wand, "Now I never have to pick up my clothes because you have no wand to hex me with," he stuck his tongue out at me playfully. Oh what a git, I picked up his wand off his dresser and pointed it at him triumphantly. I began to laugh at the look on his face.

"Dammit, you win," he walked over to his clothes with his head down and began to pick them up. I smiled; winning was, after all, a brilliant feeling.

The next thing I knew Ron ran at me and tackled me on the floor tickling my stomach. You would have never known we were nineteen years old. I was laughing so hard it took me a full minute to notice Mrs. Weasley in the doorway, but when I did my face fell. Ron kept tickling me until he saw the change in my face and looked up to see what I was looking at. Mrs. Weasley stood in the doorway with tears coursing down her cheeks. Ron was off of me and to the door in a flash asking his mum what was wrong.

"You best sit down dearies," her voice was shaky and it was making me nervous. We sat down on the bed and she stood in front of us.

"M-Mrs. Weasley?"

"Harry well ...Harry was found dead this morning in his apartment. Oh lord I knew we should have insisted on him staying here." I sat there in shock before my damn emotions gave way and my eyes began to water. Mrs. Weasley wrapped her arms around me trying to give me comfort. I felt ill, and ran to the bathroom trying to keep my lunch from coming up. I stood over the sink grasping the edges of the porcelain counter so tightly my hands began to ache. I prayed and prayed that this was all a mistake, that our raven-haired best friend was still alive. He was just joking with us, of course he was. When I regained my composure, as much as one could at a time like this, I walked back into Ron's room as quickly as my wobbly legs would carry me.

Right when I walked in I saw Ron out of the corner of my eye. He was pacing and mumbling to himself: "But the death eaters are gone, Voldemort is gone... no he wouldn't have done that."

"Ronald they say he died of grief," Mr. Weasley's voice startled me; he must have come in while I was in the bathroom.

"That's not possible dad, he's been through so much. He could have lived forever; someone had to have killed him."

"No son, Harry didn't want to live anymore. He loved you and Hermione, but I suppose with Ginny's death he had reached his breaking point," Mr. Weasley's eyes were bloodshot, "His parents died, then Sirius, then Ginny. I think there's just a point in someone's life when they have had enough."

"We must not have spent enough time with him," I finally spoke, and I sat back down on the bed before my knees had a chance to give out.

"This is not something to blame on yourself Hermione. The thing is, Harry didn't want us to see him suffer. I wish I could have helped too but I don't know how much it would have even done for him," Mrs. Weasley put her hand on my back to soothe me as I continued to cry openly.

"No, he can not be dead! Do you hear me?" Ron yelled and kicked a wooden chair sending it toppling on its side. It wasn't fair, why did my friends have to die. It wasn't normal; I just want a normal life!

"Mrs. Weasley I'm so scared, why does everyone I love have to die?" I whispered in her ear as Mr. Weasley tried to calm Ron.

"Not everyone my dear, you still have Ron," and a fresh tear fell from the woman's eye landing on my arm.

---

"Hermione? Earth to Hermione...er...I see what Jerry means about daydreaming," Jeni was waving her arms in front of my face wildly. I shook my head clearing away my thoughts.

"Oh. Sorry Jen, what did you say?" I mumbled moving to my cupboard to get out some coffee.

"I asked if you miss him," she said quietly knowing full well I wouldn't want to hear this question.

"Of course I do Jen," I opened the coffee box a little more violently then needed making Jeni jump, "But it doesn't matter, if we ever became close again he'd just run away. Plus I don't think I can stand the emotional strain of being reminded of everything that happened after the war. I've forgotten it all and I want to keep it that way."

"What do you day dream about all the time if you've forgotten the past? And what makes you think HE would be the one to run away?" god damn her and her millions of questions.

"Jen!" I groaned, clearly annoyed.

"Ok...okay I'm just trying to make a point."

"Point taken, now don't tell me you didn't get that tall guys number and you aren't dieing to call him," I smiled at her, I knew her well.

"Can I barrow your phone?" she bounced up and down on my couch enthusiastically.

"As long as you stop breaking my furniture and start acting like the twenty-four year old you are, yes you may," I responded coolly before finishing making my coffee in the kitchen. She stuck her tongue out at me and went in my room to go use the phone. However much I appreciated her comfort, I liked to be by myself and think when I'm distressed.

I added some crème to my coffee and grabbed a blanket from my closet. I laid down on my couch with my blanket tilting my head back on the armrest, then I took a sip of my coffee savoring the earthy taste and closed my eyes. I heard Jeni giggling in the other room, probably flirting with that mystery man of hers. I sighed, I felt so empty, like I hadn't eaten in days. I wasn't hungry though, and couldn't have eaten if I wanted to. I was really just so very alone. I couldn't recall ever feeling so lonely since the day Ron had left five years ago.

A/N: Hope you liked it, reviews are appreciated :)