A/N: Hello! Hope you're all having a good weekend. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, REMdream, Trich, Andy the Willow Tree, SparkyTAS, LadyPorpoise, Nice guys, Raider-K, melodicechoes, CalistaLegaci, jshaw0624, Trich, REMdream, Scylla's revenge, Woman of Letters, wickedGreene13, , dreamer, Woman of Letters, Amateur Bacon Cook, WyomingCowboy15, and middleagemanager.
I love them all. :))
0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0
Legolas studied for hours... Hours turned into days.
Perfecting English was difficult, but not impossible. He'd been at it for weeks now. How could this ever have sounded like chaos? He sorted through the work. It was relatively simple, really. Between the Westron he'd managed to convince Kristine to learn, and a small measure of guesswork, communicating was never an issue. And it was relatively easy, the two languages were similar: often whole words were the same.
"What do you want for breakfast, Legolas?" Kristy came in the kitchen and patted his head.
Legolas was at it since midnight, and he needed sleep. This human body was pathetic. But ever since that first night weeks ago…the dreams just never stopped. Work helped. It distracted him. He could focus on something else. But whispers of dark voices still called to him, drifted at the borders of his consciousness, reminding him of the evil he left behind…the evil he deserted.
Legolas pushed the thought away.
Instead, he looked up from the table and frowned. It was fast becoming an annoying habit of hers, touching his hair. The woman said it would grow faster if he didn't ignore it. But he suspected she just liked touching it. It fascinated her.
And why not? After the Eru-cursed woman cut it.
Legolas looked away.
"What's the matter?" She blinked, wearing a thin, dark shirt. Legolas glanced up. It clung impossibly tight to her breasts and the dark, faded jeans hung low on her hips. Legolas ignored it. 'Tank tops', she called them, good for running, exercising, or just about anything apparently. Scandalous.
He ran a hand through his shorn hair with a sour, burned expression.
"Oh gosh, are you still upset about that?" Kristy asked, obviously referring to the hair. "My God, you are."
"I said I was not angry."
And it wasn't a total lie.
Legolas realized weeks ago that his hair made him stand out. The police, soldiers and even passersby on the street threw him too-long looks with it. Leaving the city was already impossible. He had no identification. Kristine had to vouch for him, lie for him and smile to the soldiers at the road-blocks inside the city. It was good Kristy was pretty. And annoying.
"I cannot help it if it displeases me," he muttered.
"You said I could do it!" Kristy protested.
"Oh, yes…else you'd not have touched it," he snapped back.
Kristy stood back on her heels, crossing her arms. Legolas almost looked over at the movement, but not quite. "Well, you can move around a lot freer, can't you?" she said, refusing to raise her voice. "No one stopped you for ID yesterday, did they?"
Legolas didn't answer.
"Well, did they?" she pressed. "And don't pretend you don't understand me, elf." She smirked anyway. "I know you do."
Legolas thought about grunting, casting a dark look, ignoring her. But he didn't. Instead… he reluctantly cracked a smile.
It shouldn't work. He didn't know why it did. It just felt good to be called 'elf'. It helped him believe, trust himself and his memories. It was still patchy—especially the last few weeks before coming here—but he had all the rest of it back now.
Shenzie came into the kitchen and put her head in his lap. "It matters little: coming, going." He said anyway, twisting a pencil back and forth between his fingers. "I cannot leave the city. This place is a cage… and I am a caged animal within it," he murmured, stroking the dog's head as she blinked wet eyes at him.
The sound of sizzling eggs was the only break in the quiet for a while. She didn't like it when he talked like that. Legolas must have had another bad night. Why couldn't he sleep? Why didn't he just rest when he needed it?
She didn't know. He always refused to tell her.
Instead, Legolas had taken up watching television. Sometimes Kristy would wake up at one or two in the morning and Legolas would be sitting in a pile of pillows, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, watching the screen. His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was a thin, tight line. Was it fear? Anger? She didn't know. It didn't matter if it was commercials, a movie… even on mute. He just wanted to be distracted.
From what? From who? She didn't know that either. And every time she dared ask, he grew cold.
0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0
"I miss my old clothes," Legolas grumbled in the window seat of the store that afternoon, picking at a stray thread on his sleeve.
Kris ignored him.
There was so much work! She wished she'd never taken it on. They were picking up the stacks of order forms and tax returns she had to bring home and fill out. The old miser, Corby should be doing this himself. Alice was already manning the store most of the time. The real work, the accounting, was hopelessly piling up.
"And I wish I had my weapons," he muttered under his breath. It was bad enough here without being defenseless. "I would make them anew if this ridiculous excuse of a city had proper trees."
She didn't answer. Legolas sat in the display window of the store front. Kris switched on the lights and a glow lit up the cream walls. Loose racks of coats and distressed jeans scattered the carpet, the glass counter along the left casing rings, bracelets, gold and silver necklaces. Designer sweaters hung high up on the walls under soft, glowing lights.
Legolas curled up on the carpeted seat and crossed his legs Indian style, staring at the passersby through the glass wall. They barely noticed him. Kris watched him as she worked, hurriedly scraping the sheets together. His eyes were gray-blue in the white light. He pressed a palm up against the glass and carefully, intently peered out. She almost smiled. It was like a child looking in a candy store.
And then the smile faded. Her hands stilled. Legolas wasn't a child, and he wasn't looking in. He was looking out, out at a dirty street filled with strangers. And the thought made her feel incredibly sad.
"Hey…" she forced a bright smile, "Legolas, look at here."
He didn't tear his eyes from the sidewalk.
"Have you seen one of these before?" she asked eagerly. "A camera?"
He mumbled something in his own tongue, before finally looking over. "What is that?"
Kris shoved her papers aside and came over. "Now this is a camera to be proud of." She crawled up into the window, pushing a mannequin aside. It almost toppled over and Legolas caught it.
"See?" She shuffled down beside. "Look in here, click the button and poof! You've got a picture."
Legolas remembered the painting of his arm she'd taken those weeks ago. It was as real as life. "You did that with this?"
"Well my phone, actually. But this one's a lot better." Kristy turned the camera around and grinned, before nudging Legolas to do the same. "Come on, smile."
He looked at her a little strangely, before scrunching his brows and reluctantly glancing at the lens. The picture turned out strange. His eyes were too blue. His skin was pale. The thing was nasty.
And suddenly, he gasped. "That is not- … is that what my hair looks like?" he exclaimed. Legolas snatched it away from her and shuffled back. "Oh, oh this is terrible, Kristine. What have you doneto me?"
He desperately ran a hand through his hair, twisting from side to side to examine it at all angles. It stuck up on top and shot in all directions, curling and twisting at the ends. Only with his hands did he manage to push the long, curling locks behind his ears. They twisted and turned, silky, knotting in his fingers. The wind made it impossible.
Disgraceful!
"I don't know." She mused, trying not to laugh at the sheer horror on his face. "I kind of like it."
"Well you be the only one, you…you appalling woman," he said darkly. "And stop laughing. You are the one who did this to me."
"I'm good at cutting hair and you know it." She grinned and snatched it from him. He actually looked relieved at not having to look at himself anymore. "Must say it was a particularly sweet job, too. You vaguely resemble…hum, Harry Styles maybe? Kind of cute."
"Unruly," he corrected.
And she clicked the shutter button. Then, Kristy smiled slightly. Legolas was sulking, remembering the long clumps of flaxen hair falling to the floor as she clipped. Horrible.
"Don't worry," she said, staring at his lowered gaze. She tentatively lifted a stray strand of hair from his eyes to peek at him. "You couldn't look terrible if you tried."
And still…it was a distraction. Legolas didn't have to think about just how empty he felt. Sometimes, he even forgot the cold, solid wall casing in his soul, keeping him from the warmth of every creature out there.
Legolas' shoulder brushed the cold glass and as Kristy fiddled with the device, he slowly sunk back into the haze.
In this human, breakable body, it was like his fea was trapped in a glass case that looked, but never touched. It was like reaching out to something too far away, too cold, too distant. He just couldn't latch onto anything, pull it closer and let his spirit bask with it, link to it…nothing.
"…Legolas?"
He blinked, jolting his fingers from the window. Kristy stared at him, looking from his longing eyes to the fog where he breathed on the frigid window.
"I-I asked if you want to go home?"
Legolas slowly dragged his head out of the worthless, sinking feelings and blinked the startled look from his eyes. She didn't need to see him like this. She already fed him, talked to him, kept him under her roof. She didn't have to deal with his pathetic, deserted feelings too.
So, he smiled. "You are not finished here."
"No, but…"
Legolas smiled wider, making his eyes bright. He was growing better at this. He hated how his face mirrored exactly what he felt. Aragorn often told him he was like an open book… But then, Kristine furrowed her brows in confusion. She looked over his face, obviously perplexed.
It was like reading a mask. She hated it when he did that. He wiped his face of every last trace of emotion. Why did he do that?
"What's wrong?" she asked softer, more insistent.
"Nothing. What makes you think anything is wrong?" His schooled expression became a careful, neutral face.
She looked at him, concern making the bones and lines of her face stand out more starkly. "I…I don't know. But I can help, Legolas. Just tell me what's the matter?"
"Nothing," he persisted.
"Look, I know you're lying." She sat up on her knees, leaning closer. "Why can't you just talk to me?"
Legolas felt an unexpected flare of annoyance. "Nothingis the matter, Kristine." He turned away. "Do not perceive to know me better than I do myself, for you do not. When I tell you I am alright, then I am alright. Really," he said more gently. "I am."
Kristy stared at him. He was all pride and indignation again. At least that's what she thought it was. What else could make him so distant? Why else was he shutting her out?
And then, something snapped and she quipped airily. "Fine." Before looking away. "I'll finish here and leave."
Kris slid out of the window and tried not to throw her camera too hard. It landed on the plush leather couch in the corner, just under the window and she slapped her papers on the table. The furniture made it easier for friends to linger, visit and chat while they shopped. Kristy spread her work out and snapped her pen. She scribbled furiously almost half a sheet before realizing the ink was empty. She cursed and threw it away, before rifling almost angrily through her bag for another one.
Nothing worked. Nothing helped. No matter how good things were going, they always ended badly. No progress. Nothing. Stupid, damn elf. Just when she thought she was getting close to him, he'd shut her out again and he was alone.
Legolas watched it all with confusion. He forgot the cold feelings and the memories…missing Aragorn, his friend, the good ones he had of happy days, light and dappled sun pouring through maple leaves. He pushed it all down and focused.
"Kristine," he stated.
She didn't answer.
"Kristine, I…think I shall go walk," he said carefully, suddenly feeling distinctly unwanted. It didn't make sense. She was fine just a second ago, happy. He hadn't done a single thing to her and now she was upset! It was baffling.
"Fine." She said flatly, "Go."
Nothing more than that came out.
And so, Legolas reluctantly pushed the door open and glanced back. She still scratched furiously at the papers, sitting on her knees under the low, glass-topped table. He thought about murmuring some kind of farewell, but then he thought better of it.
Legolas tried his best to keep her out of his problems, to shield her from any and all distorted emotions stampeding wildly through his feelings. He tried to keep them down, force himself not to want this contact, to miss the constant touch of his peoples' minds.
It was impossible. Ridiculous. Weak. He kept her from all the wild Sylvan trying to take control of him and still he angered her.
Kristine was a complex little creature. Best not try and figure it out.
"Be back in an hour," came a flat voice.
Legolas spun around, blinking in surprise. Was that…was that a command? Did she just order him to be back in an hour?
He was above it. Legolas should be above it. But he wasn't.
"Then you will take me home," he said back and before she could answer, he slammed the door shut. It wasn't a request and it was rude. Childish...just like how he felt.
Legolas walked a long time. Thankfully, no one stopped him, not even the line of army trucks roaring past. He looked up at their faces, the soldiers in the back where the tent flaps slapped back and forth in the wind. It was just a glimpse, but they were grim, armed and ready for…for what? He wasn't sure.
There was tension in the city again. He felt it in the air, how it settled on his face and stirred his hair.
By the time Legolas made it back, it was well more than an hour later. Kristy still wasn't finished, and when he came in to stand silently at the door, she opted to take the work with her and leave. She didn't say a word, and neither did he. The woman locked up the store and switched the lights out.
It was a short drive home. Legolas stared out the window. Trapped in the steel beast, the silence between them was even heavier. She wouldn't talk to him. She wouldn't even look at him. He chose to ignore it.
She was being sullen and ridiculous.
Droves of people filled the street at afternoon rush hour. He watched them all. How strange it was, seeing every single living face… smiling, frowning, laughing or serious…and so unable to touch. Even humans, he realized, he should be able to feel. They couldn't respond of course, as Elvar would, but even one-sided contact was better than none. It left him feeling cold and irritated.
The car pulled into the underground garage and parked. Gentle lights crisscrossed the ceiling overhead, just enough to see ahead of him. He couldn't wait to get out.
"Can we sit?" Kris spoke up suddenly, just as Legolas opened the door.
He paused.
"Can we sit?" she repeated. "Please."
Slowly, unsure of what was happening, Legolas eased back into the seat and latched the door. The car was off and it was dark. Cloudy light poured in from the garage door. Then, slowly, Legolas leaned back and stretched his legs in the space ahead of him. If she was going to sit here in silence, at least it would be comfortable silence.
It was anything but that.
"Look," she spoke up suddenly, tense, staring at the steering wheel in front of her. "I know you hate it here," Kris said flatly.
Legolas didn't answer. Well that was unexpected.
"And I know you don't belong. I know you're miserable. I know you don't like trying to fit in here, and-" and then, she broke off. Kristy bit down on the inside of her lip hard. Legolas watched very intently from the passenger side. He ran his eyes slowly down the tresses pushed behind her ears.
It was so short for a woman. He knew his thoughts wandered. That hair barely brushed her… he looked down…breasts. The soft, straight hair was sunlit copper in the cloudy light, brown and gold. Beautiful.
He realized it suddenly and he scowled, pushing the thought down.
"You know what?" she snapped suddenly, tilting her chin up.
Legolas hadn't realized how long he was silent. Kristy stared at the windshield like he wasn't even there. It felt quiet in the car, close, almost intimate to him…and he realized it actually wasn't. She wasn't thinking what he was at all. Kris didn't want to talk to him anymore.
She left and slammed the door shut.
"Never mind."
And Legolas blinked, staring. She didn't wait for him. She didn't look back.
It was going to be a very silent evening.
~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~
Legolas worked at a round wood table in the corner, angled to see the TV on mute. Dark clouds outside flashed and poured rain. He was busy fleshing out his vocabulary by reading a 'Webster's Dictionary'. Quite fascinating, actually.
Kristy was sitting on the dog, brushing her flanks and letting fur tufts float across the floor. Legolas blew one off his book. And suddenly, the lightbulb overhead snapped, blinked and went black. She groaned, peering up, before going out to the kitchen to dig up a replacement.
Legolas didn't pay attention. He'd seen it done before.
And then he reluctantly glanced up at a short, frustrated hiss. Kristy was straining on tip toe, grappling for the ceiling fixture. It was quite a while since their spat in the store and things had eased, but he still didn't move.
"Some help?" she snapped.
Legolas just smiled, deciding she could manage alright and he worked on. Then something caught his eyes and he surreptitiously glanced sideways. He kept his head down, but as the woman reached and twisted the device free, the shirt she was wearing was riding up… uncomfortably far.
Legolas snapped his head down.
And then another frustrated hiss brought his eyes up again.
"Why are you a foot taller than me and I'm the one doing this?"
It shouldn't interest him. And it didn't. Not really. But he found Kristy was just as tanned on her belly and down around her hips. What did she do, sit in the sun half-naked? Legolas refused to picture that. Parts of him wanted to, but he refused. Kristine was a woman and to be respected.
And then, he angled his eyes a little. She was fumbling with the hot bulb. Legolas idly wondered if she wanted him to look.
Yes? Well after all, she wore shirts like that around him on purpose. The neckline alone showed him more of her than he'd care to see, especially times like this when it just wouldn't leave his head.
No. She wore them before he even knew her. So, what…he was the one out of place? Legolas shook his head, forcefully ignoring the flat, taut belly and sliver of navel on display a few meters away. Of course he was out of place!What was he, some kind of...of human? Technically speaking, yes. But he didn't need to act like it.
What was wrong with him? He'd seen both elf-kind and human stripped naked. It shouldn't bother him. Sindar were cooled to such things, schooled and trained completely. Even his wild Sylvan side should be better than this. Elves weren't affected by such things, and neither was he.
So, at the next angry noise she made, Legolas ripped his eyes off the skin he shouldn't have seen and stalked over.
"Some help you lousy-" And she gasped.
Legolas hooked his fingers under her shirt and forcefully yanked it down. Then he grabbed her sides and lifted. Kris let out a yelp. There was something terrifying about sudden levitation. But he lifted her high enough to reach the damnable bulb.
Legolas almost smiled. Why, yes. He could be helpful and vengeful.
With a scowl that looked like a laugh, she finished with the bulb.
. . . . .
Kristy went to bed early that night.
She knew Legolas hated it when she went early. It left him alone. She took Shenzie in with her and it left him cold, deserted. But she didn't know how to talk to him, because she didn't know what was wrong.
Late that night, Kris got up to use the bathroom. She was coming back with a glass of water when she paused in the threshold. She'd worked all day on Corby's accounting and she was tired. She was even tired standing here. Legolas should be too. He should be asleep.
But he wasn't. Yet he wasn't up either. He was in the total dark. He'd drawn the drapes away from the bay window, revealing the city night lights. He was in the rolled out bed, leaning back on the couch, his legs in the blankets.
It was like this so often. Even their tiff hadn't changed the swell of pity she felt. Kristy knew he had trouble resting. She just couldn't think of anything to say… at night or in morning light. But somehow, when she looked in now, she didn't want to retreat. She didn't want to go in her room and hope he felt better tomorrow.
"Hello," Kris said softly, coming in.
He looked up, but didn't say anything. No surprise there.
Legolas sat in shadow, facing the silver light pouring through the bay window, filling the center of the room. It lit the rumpled sheets at the foot of the bed in a faint blue glow.
Kristy came to the edge of the bed and rain pattered the windows. "How's it going?" she asked even quieter.
Legolas just sighed.
He knew what she was trying to do. It was kind of her, Legolas supposed, especially after…what was it? He wasn't sure what happened between them that day. But it wouldn't help.
He couldn't sleep. His head hurt with the years, the centuries…centuries of sun, wind and war. There was so much. There was joy, yes, his family and Aragorn, but so much pain too. They haunted his dreams and something...something he couldn't place was at the head of them. Balrog, the old man, a war he couldn't win.
"- Legolas?" she broke into his thoughts.
Still he didn't answer.
And then he felt the depression in the mattress as she slowly crawled up beside. "Why can't you sleep, Legolas? Please, just tell me."
He dropped his eyes, staring at his knees. Nightmares…Ha. What an excuse.
A few minutes passed. Kristy curled up on the pillow against his side. She rested her weight on him. It took awhile for her to look up at him, and she wondered why he didn't just talk. Why not? It was obvious he was upset. Hell, he couldn't even sleep. And still he blocked her out! He wouldn't even try.
Kris chewed the inside of her lip, fidgeted a little awkwardly with a pillow…before edging forward and touching his hand. She circled his knuckles with a single fingertip, before carefully, tentatively tracing the edge of callous and the lines in his palm. She didn't say anything, and she didn't move.
And then her skin brushed a sensitive spot and he shivered a smile, snapping his fingers closed. Kristy jumped, but at the sight of his smile in the dark, she relaxed back again and smiled too.
Legolas was getting used to this…contact. It wasn't exactly what he craved... the intimate, everyday brush of consciousness. But it did do something to him. He just wasn't sure what. Yet.
They sat in the dark a long while, watching the swaying shadows across the floor in companionable silence. Legolas leaned his head back, so tired, so tired…just never quite able to sleep.
And then, Legolas cracked one eye open. Kristine's hand was in his hair.
"Kristine?" he said quietly.
"Hm?"
He thought about it. "Never mind."
"So," she said softly, biting her cheek, nervously twisting her mouth into odd shapes. Legolas watched from the corner of his eyes, fascinated. It was so good to be with her like this, still and close. "penny for your thoughts?"
"What is a penny?" he murmured. Legolas watched her lips. He didn't worry about his eyes lingering where they shouldn't. There was nothing else he wanted to look at.
"Um, it's kind of like a nickel…o-only smaller," she said, unaware of his stare, but obviously aware of where she was. Curled against his side, staring out the window, idly rubbing her fingers through his hair. It made her skin a brighter pink.
"What is a nickel?" Legolas whispered. And he wondered - if by complete accident, he brushed that lip, accidentally touched it with some part of him - what would it feel like? What would she do? Would she pull away? Or would it be smooth and soft, and…
And Legolas cut off the thought with an angry retort. Yes. And she would slap you. You'd deserve it.
"It's money," Kristy said, shaking her head and exasperated. It made her hair swish over her shoulders and leaning over, Legolas caught a faint scent of lilac. She must have washed her hair. "The point is, what are you thinking about?"
"Many things," he murmured with a wry smile. And then, something told him just to relax a little. She asked. She wanted to know. Legolas wouldn't trouble her with details, but he could get some of this off his chest just for tonight.
"Have you ever wondered…" he began slowly, still ignoring her hand as it gently fondled his head. Legolas didn't know why he didn't lean away. Maybe it was because he hated the feeling of his hair eight inches shorter. It was messy and unruly.
At least someone could enjoy it.
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to…start life anew? From nothing, I mean, as another person?"
Kristy thought about it. "I guess all of us do that, sometimes."
A little while passed. Legolas drew a blanket over his legs. He was cold and she slipped under it too. He thought about it awhile, almost didn't say the words lingering in his mouth. But very quietly, very reluctantly, he did.
"Kristine, would it…it matter if I told you I was not the person you thought I was?" he asked softly.
She didn't bother waiting this time. "I guess that depends." She smiled a little. "Don't worry, Legolas. I know who you are."
He sighed, looking down. "Well, that is good. For sometimes I do not."
"Oh, Legolas…" she murmured. He was so quiet, so tired. Kristy reached up, gently touched his pale face in the faint light, before tugging him closer. Legolas didn't resist. "What's the matter?" Kristy whispered into his hair. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, resting his forehead against her chest. He felt her heart beat…slow, quiet, rhythmic.
"I am a prince, Kristine," he whispered softly. Legolas slid his arms around her and sighed. He breathed in the lilac on her warm skin. Warm and soft and so damn good. "I am the prince of my people, Kristine."
"I... know."
"You do?" he asked. At her slight nod, he scrunched his brows together.
Of course she knew. The damn woman knew everything.
"I don't know when I knew it, but you don't belong here," she whispered. "There's stories about you and your world. They say you're an elf. It says you're beautiful and magical, fierce. Perfect."
A chuckle hummed in his throat. "I am not perfect, Kristy."
Kristy.
She looked down at his shaggy hair, stroking the back of his neck, wondering. All the time he'd been here, all those weeks of 'Kristine'. Nothing else, not a nickname or an endearment. It gave her a queer sort of smiley feeling.
"Not by far. And I should be there for them, Kristine," he said. "There is war and darkness in my country. It bears down on my people like a shadow. They are afraid and they fight so valiantly. Ellon, elleth die every day. They shall think their prince deserted them in their hour of need, crumbled before the coming darkness. What hope is there for them?"
She looked away.
Legolas breathed, focusing on each individual sound: the ticking clock, the vent on the wall. "My father is a great king." He wasn't sure why he kept going. But why not? For all he knew, he'd die here. He'd die here and no one save this girl would know how or why.
"He is a great and fearless leader." He whispered, "He has led them through good times and bad. No matter how the earth trembles and the skies fall, he stands tall. He would not be where I am. He would find a way… He would fight his way home no matter the cost, crush anything that barred his way. I am not that man, Kristine." He said softly, "I fear I will never be."
Kris didn't quite know what to say. Thinking of him as a prince was more than a little disturbing, yes. Knowing that he knew and remembered was more yet. But here, it really didn't matter. Boy, man, prince… The prince was just as lost and alone, boy, man or not. Whatever he was.
"When…if…I get back," he continued softer yet. "They will ask me how I stood here and could not find my way home. They will ask me how a leader of their own people could not lead himself."
She thought a long while. "You know, an old doctor once said something." Kris said, gently fingering a strand of his hair in her hands, "Be who you are, because those who mind don't matter. Those who matter don't mind."
"Who was that?" he asked softly.
"Doctor Seuss."
"Hm. A wise and learned man," Legolas murmured.
She smiled harder. "I guess."
A few moments passed. "Kristine?"
"Please don't call me that," Kris sighed.
He blinked. "Why?"
It was a long moment before she answered. Legolas began to think she wouldn't at all. But eventually, she said, "I…I guess Mark was the only one who ever called me that."
"Who is Mark?" he asked, staring into the dark, swaying shadows. He saw her hair move as she turned her head, and he felt her body still.
"Just some guy," she whispered.
"Lover?" he guessed.
Kristy almost laughed. It was a sad, ironic laugh. "I wish."
Legolas immediately regretted his words. He was only teasing. "But who is he?" he asked.
"No one." Kristy let her fingers stay knotted in his hair a long minute, before bursting out in a whisper. "And you still haven't told me what's wrong with you!"
Legolas was silent a long while. "Even when you are there," he said softly, honestly. "…it feels like I am alone. That is what's wrong with me."
Legolas pulled back and sat up enough to look at her in the eyes. Kristy just blinked, obviously surprised at this admission. The elf frowned, trying to force out some of the feelings that made him feel so alone.
"Without your fea and my own, it is like living in a glass box." He whispered quietly, "Always, I could feel the spirit, the fea of others. I cannot understand why I miss it so."
Legolas slid his fingers tentatively through her hair, hooking it behind her ears. She touched his chin, worry etched all over her features. A part of him regretted saying it, and a part of him didn't.
Suddenly, Kristine dropped her eyes and slid her arms around his shoulders, pressing herself against his bare chest. Legolas didn't protest her hug.
Walls crumbled into dust and she felt raw emotion radiating off of him as his lungs moved in quick, deep breaths. Gods, she was warm. He ran his hands up and down her back. Chills followed his hand up her spine. Legolas rested his face against her ear, before dipping to press against her neck. Without thinking, he parted his lips and kissed it.
Kris flinched at the touch of his mouth and blinked, staring at the shadow of his skin in the dark. Legolas' pulse sped up to an almost breathless rhythm, before, as if it didn't happen, she relaxed again.
A little.
"Are you lonely?" Kristy whispered faintly.
He just smiled, not daring answer that. How do you explain such a feeling of emptiness to her? Worse, how could he explain said feeling evaporating with her arms around him?
"Who is Mark?" he asked instead.
"Nobody."
He smiled mischievously. "If you tell me, I will tell you a secret of my own. One that half my father's kingdom doesn't know."
Kris scrunched her face, glancing up at his chin. "How's it a secret if half your dad's kingdom already knows?"
"Because I have gone to great lengths to keep it hidden from the other half, including my oldest and closest friends."
"Oh, alright." She sighed, "But only because I'm such a sucker for a secret. You first."
Legolas mumbled darkly. "My father has, for all practical purposes, arranged a marriage for me."
Kristy jolted and pulled back, inches from his face. "What? I mean, why in God's name would he do that?"
Legolas smiled slightly. When she looked up, she had to ignore how close his face was to hers. Her eyes snagged on his lips, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Horeneith is the daughter of an old and dear friend to my father." Legolas explained. "Since I was born, you see, we were pledged and it was hoped that we would someday…consummate, that pledge."
Kris tilted her head back further, eyeing him. "Do you plan to?"
Legolas snickered. "Not if I have anything to say of it."
"A real dog, huh?" she laughed.
"Dog?" he shuffled up to be level with her. "No. She is elf-kind, not canine."
"No, no. I mean she's ugly or something, right?"
At that, Legolas laughed hard, throwing his head back. "Ah, no! She is absolutely lovely, as all Elvar. How could you think otherwise?"
She just humphed. Their legs were tangled and she drew one comfortably up over his hips. His only response was to glance at her and she smirked. Sometimes, on rare occasions, she was positively adorable. He was feeling either brave or stupid because he drew one of her hands to his lips and kissed it.
Legolas sighed and looked out the window. As their words settled into comfortable silence, he let himself think about where he was.
The feeling was… queer.
Here he was in the middle of the night, a vast city outside. Yet he didn't feel like it. They were in a world all their own. Darkness engulfed them and he was ridiculously content, in the arms and warmth of a girl he barely knew. His sylvan side approved. The other half, his father's half, the Sindar… he could feel frowning on him with that cold, disapproving glare. He imagined just what his father would say. It showed weakness. Vulnerability. Defenselessness.
And then, unlike weeks…days ago, he decided he didn't care. He was here alone with no one to watch over him, no one to monitor his actions or his words. He'd do as he pleased.
So Legolas squeezed Kristy tighter and looked at her again.
"What?" she muttered, putting her hand on his chest. He couldn't decide if it was saucy or annoyed. Legolas just smiled, and he decided to run his hand up and down the smooth leg wrapped around his torso, through the sheets. He didn't care that she took in a short breath of surprise.
"What's wrong?" she asked, with the same urgency he let bleed through his fingers. Every movement leaked his feelings, his longing and he tried to hide them. But it didn't work.
"How could I love anyone so perfect, anyway?" he avoided the question, slowly circling his head down, through her hair, down to her neck, breathing her in.
"Perfect?"
"Oh yes." Legolas smiled fondly, remembering. "She was always so…flawless. Even as children, she was so content just to sit at our studies and listen to the tutor. Her marks were always perfect too, and yet she'd never let me copy them!" Legolas laughed. "She refused to join the guard. That is why perhaps, we drifted apart. I drew closer to…others, others who fought with me like fire." Legolas trailed off.
In the blackness, Kristy missed the whisper of longing in his eyes as he murmured the last. "You were a cheater, you mean?"
"Of course!" he forced himself to brighten. "How do you think I became so good with the bow?"
"I don't know. Practice?"
He nodded. "And time. Time away from studies. Now tell me who this 'Mark' is."
Kristy sighed. "He's just…just some guy. I used to work with him back when, and-and I guess he just never noticed me. He was my friend, that's it. He ended up marrying my sister. That's all."
"I see," Legolas said quietly. He thought about not saying a word, just letting her sit there with him in silence. But then, without even knowing why, he murmured, "Love stolen from you. Sister? Dwarf…little difference."
"Dwarf?"
"Aye, a dwarf."
Kristy knew better than to ask. And so, Legolas exhaled a breath and let his head sink. It wasn't long later that slumber took him. Kristy didn't know what to make of his comment, and she didn't try. For the first time in weeks, he slept deep and undisturbed. Every time he started to wake up or a dark dream tried to invade it, he felt Kristy's fingers on his skin or a warm breath on his cheek and it vanished.
0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0
A/N: I hope you liked chapter nine, because Aragorn is coming and bringing a friend :-)