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Chapter Four: Pt. I
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Sending Christmas cards
(Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree)
"That's what you want for Christmas?" Beca asks into the phone, "Do you know how cold it is in this house? I'm wearing two pairs of pants."
"You could consider it a virtual Christmas card," Jesse says, "And I told you, you can come stay over here. The guys won't mind."
"If I stay over there, you can just see me naked in person," Beca points out.
"Yeah, but I can't look at you whenever I want. You're acting like I haven't sent you any naked pictures."
"I didn't ask you to send them."
"Are you saying you didn't want them?"
"No! They were incredibly…enjoyable." Or they would have been if she was a gay man, because those are the only people she knows who enjoy dick picks. "You know what? Fine."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Because if I send this to you, there will never be any reason for you to ask to see me naked every again. You can consider our sex life cancelled."
Jesse laughs. "You don't have to. I was just thinking it might bring us closer together."
"We live right next to each other. There's literally like a gate and a hedge keeping us apart."
"I'm leaving for home tomorrow."
"Really?" Beca tries to look at her calendar, but it's too dark to see.
"Really. Look, I have to go finish packing, but if you want to come over and be warm, the door is always open."
"Thanks." Beca sighs. "But I think there would be a manhunt for me if I tried to leave this house right now. Everyone needs help with something holiday related. You have no idea what is going on over here right now."
"It's Christmas!" Jesse reminds her, "You know, you should escape and go check out the lights on the quad."
"I never want to see another Christmas light for as long as I live." Beca flops backwards onto her bed. "Are you sure you can't come over here?"
"I really have to finish packing, Bec. I'll see you in a month, sooner if you decide to send me that picture."
Beca closes her eyes and scrunched her face. "See you in a month."
"Bye."
"Bye."
xxxxx
"Stacie!" Beca can hear her walking through the hall.
Stacie pokes her head in the room. "What's up?"
Beca has no idea what the hell she even planned on asking – but, if there's one person to ask about this matter, Stacie is that one. "Can you shut the door? And lock it so I at least have a warning before Amy comes barging in?"
"With me on the outside or the inside?" Stacie asks.
Beca has to think about it for a moment, but in the time she's thinking, Stacie is already deciding to come in. "Nothing I say leaves this room," she warns her.
"Okay…" Stacie sits down on the edge of the bed.
"I'm serious." Beca sits up. "Not a word to anyone."
"My lips are sealed." Stacie gets comfortable against the headboard. "When it comes to secrets anyway. Is this about those dreams about Au-"
"No!" Beca bolts upright. "Can we let that go already?!"
If Stacie is bothered by her sudden outburst, it doesn't show. She just smiles and leans back, getting cozy. "I'm all ears."
"You…send naked pictures to people, right?" Beca asks.
"You mean nudes? Yeah, like, all the time. If this is about that one with me holding your boom box, I thought that was Amy's."
"Why were you in our room taking naked-" Beca stops herself. She doesn't even want to know. She just needs her own room and a padlock. "No, it's not about that." She puffs out her cheeks and exhales, beginning to wonder what the hell she's doing. "Never mind. How is the-"
"Let me guess. You want to send someone a naked picture, but you've never done it before, so you have questions about how to make it sexy."
Beca's lips form a tight smile.
"Take off your clothes."
"Wait, what? No."
"Okay, look." Stacie stands up. "Nudes are a form of art, Beca. It takes practice. You can't send someone the first naked picture you've ever taken of yourself and-"
"Could you lower your voice just a little?"
"-expect it to look good. You do want to look sexy, right? You want to turn the other person on?"
"I don't know if I would go that far," Beca replies.
"Half the point of nudes is so the recipient has something to masturbate to before they fall asleep at night."
"That…is too much information." Yet, Beca still dares to ask, "What's the other half?"
"This is going to be so much fun. Where's your phone?"
"What's the other half?" Beca demands to know.
Stacie locates her phone buried beneath the blankets.
"I'm not getting naked in front of you," Beca says.
"Whatever." Stacie tosses the phone back down onto the bed. "Suit yourself. You do know it's ugly nudes that get passed around after the breakup, right?"
"You're not making me want to do this."
"It sounds like you already want to do it. You did call me in here, right? If you wanted to be talked out of it…" Stacie pauses to think. "I can't think of anyone in this house who would talk you out of it. Maybe the new girl…? You know, you could always ask Chloe for help. She's seen you naked already, right?"
"I don't want Chloe's help. You cannot tell Chloe about this." God, no. Beca would never live it down. Chloe would want to see the pictures. "Promise me, you're not going to say anything to Chloe."
"You know it's going to get back to her eventually, right?"
"No, it's not. Because this is a top secret affair, and you're not going to tell her any of this. You're not going to mention anything about this to anyone. Right? …Stacie?"
"I haven't even seen you naked yet. Relax, Beca."
"Relax?"
"Start by taking your socks off."
Were they actually doing this? "I think the cold is freezing the last of my brain cells," Beca tries to justify this, mostly for herself. They weren't actually going to do this. It looked like they were actually doing this.
"I hope you don't undress this slow during sex," Stacie comments, "We're not living in the book of Genesis – on the third day, the pants came off."
"I haven't started undressing at all," Beca points out, "You're watching me."
Stacie turns around. "Do you make your partners turn around?" she asks, "Or are you the type of person who only does it in the dark?"
"This is going to go a lot faster if you stop talking."
"This would be going a lot faster if I was the one undressing you."
"That is something that will never happen," Beca replies.
"I bet you never thought I'd be taking nude photos of you either."
"…Touché."
xxxxx
"How's it look?" To be honest, Beca is afraid to know.
"It's kind of dark."
"Everything in here is kind of dark, Stacie." Beca pulls her clothes back on layer by layer. "How does it look?"
"I'd have sex with you."
"That's not saying a whole lot." Beca shivers and rubs her hands up and down her arms. "Is it worth sending?"
"And sent."
"Great. Hopefully Jesse never asks me for another one. Nudes should be like ID photos where you only need to take a new one every so many years."
"Um…" Stacie draws out the noise, and she's no longer smiling when Beca looks at her, "So were you just joking about the whole affair thing?"
"What affair thing?" Beca asks.
"When you said this was a top secret affair."
"What?"
"Don't be mad," Stacie says, "This could be a good thing."
"What – what could be a good thing?" Beca stands up. "What are you talking about?"
"I thought you wanted me to send your picture to someone else."
Beca stares and waits for Stacie to start laughing and tell her she should have seen the look in her face.
"You said you were having an affair."
"That's a figure of speech? Dude, who did you send that picture to?!"
"This could be a really good thing," Stacie repeats.
"Stacie," Beca says, trying to remain calm even though her heart is about to pound straight through her rib cage, "Who did you send that picture to?"