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Chapter Four: Pt. II

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Sending Christmas cards

(Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree)

"You used my phone to send a naked picture of me to Aubrey?" Beca screams loud enough inside of her own head that birds probably scatter from the nearby trees. She snatches the phone out of Stacie's hand. "How do I delete a text that's already been sent?!" She begins to follow it up with a long stream of text messages, each one simply saying: 'NO'. "Oh my god. Why would you send a naked picture of me to Aubrey?!"

"You said you were having an affair," Stacie quickly becomes defensive.

"No, I didn't! And even if I was, it wouldn't be with her!"

"You sent five hundred texts to her over the past day begging for her forgiveness."

"And which one of them made you think I wanted to send her a nude photo!"

"What about the one that said 'I'm really, really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?' Or the one that said-"

"Oh my god," Beca repeats and then just keeps repeating it as she carries her phone out into the hall, "Oh my god. Oh my god."

The Bellas begin poking their heads out of their room to see what the commotion is about.

If she's lucky, this will be one more text that Aubrey ignores. Please, God, let this be one more text that Aubrey flat out ignores. Her phone vibrates in her hand.

"Why you look like you just saw a ghost?" Cynthia-Rose asks, "Again?"

"What happened?" Chloe asks, coming out into the hall.

"What happened?" Beca asks, "How do you delete a text that's already been sent?!"

"I don't think you can."

Beca points at Flo. "That's not the answer I'm looking for."

"Beca, what's going on?" Chloe follows her down the stairs, and the rest of the Bellas quickly go after them.

Beca doesn't even know where she's going. She ends up in the living room, next to the tree that started this all. "I'm am going to hang myself from this rope," she tells Stacie, only to be grabbed by Chloe before she can step up into the coffee table. She wasn't actually going to hang herself. "This tree is cursed." It needs to be pulled down and her fake tree needs to be put up so the magic of Christmas or some shit can restore her life back to normal.

"I may have accidentally sent a naked picture of her to Aubrey," Stacie admits, causing everybody to start talking.

Chloe's eyes grow wider than Beca knew was possible.

"Accidentally?" Beca replies.

Chloe's ringtone goes off.

"Dude, don't answer that!" Beca snatches it out of her hand before she has a chance.

"It's probably Aubrey."

"You think?!"

Chloe's phone stops ringing and Beca's begins going off again.

"Everybody in this house needs to put their phone on the kitchen table until I can figure out how to rearrange time and stop this from ever happening," Beca demands.

"Why you takin' naked pictures?" Cynthia-Rose asks.

"Dude, now."

They all shuffle into the kitchen and lay their phones down on the kitchen table one by one.

"I don't even know Aubrey," Emily says, then proceeds to put her phone down after the look she receives in response.

"No one is allowed to say her name anymore," Beca says.

"This is like Beetlejuice," Flo murmurs, "Say it three times and-"

"Flo!"

"It could be worse," Fat Amy chimes in.

"How?" Beca asks, "Someone tell me how this could possibly be any worse?"

"It could have been a video?" Chloe offers then reaches for her phone when it goes off again. "I have to answer her."

Beca smacks her hand away. "You can never talk to her again."

"That's not going to go over very well with me or Aubrey," Chloe replies.

Beca lowers her forehead down against the table. "Nobody is allowed to talk to her until I give the okay."

xxxxx

"How much longer is this going to take?" Stacie asks.

"Some of us had things to do today," Flo chimes in with a sigh.

"I got it." Beca lifts her head so fast she gets a brain rush, "We ignore all of her calls, and when she comes for Christmas, we hide. She'll think we moved and never try to contact us again."

Chloe folds her arms.

"Dude, you have like a thousand friends," Beca points out, "Why does Aubrey have to be your best one?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" Chloe asks.

"N-no. No." Maybe a little.

Chloe stands up and grabs her phone. "Just call her and tell her what happened."

"And what?" Beca asks, "She'll understand?"

"Sure. Yeah. We'll go with that."

"That doesn't sound very convincing!" Beca calls after her. She watches helplessly as the rest of them grab their phones and follow suit. Now she's going to have to talk to Aubrey, before one of them does it first.

xxxxx

Beca places the call on speaker and rests her phone on her stomach, staring up at the ceiling above her bed as it rings.

"Aubrey Posen speaking."

So now she answers. Beca rubs her face. She should have prepared what she was going to say, but, honestly, she had been too hopeful thinking Aubrey might continue to ignore her. "Uh, Aubrey, hey-"

"Wait," Aubrey cuts her off, "Before you continue, you're not charging by the minute if you're the one who called me, right?"

Beca presses her lips together and closes her eyes. "Why? You have a lot of experience with phone sex operators?"

"No, so if you're hiring, you're out of luck. Why are you sending me naked pictures of yourself?"

"It wasn't for you. It was for Jesse, but Stacie accidentally sent it to you."

"Have you sent it to him yet?" Aubrey inquires.

"No, and that's none of your busin-"

"Good, I have a few notes. First, your room is too dark. Second-"

"Do we have to do this?" Beca asks.

"Second, words can't describe how attractive you are."

Beca blinks. Did those words actually just leave Aubrey's mouth? "What?"

"But numbers can: 0/10."

"Are you enjoying yourself right now?" Beca asks.

Aubrey answers without missing a beat. "Yes. Quite a lot, actually."

"Does this mean you're not mad anymore?"

"No. I'm still livid. It's not up to you whether or not I come spend Christmas with Chloe. If you don't like it, leave. Don't you have family to spend Christmas with?"

Beca feels a pang of guilt – both because she hates spending the holidays with either of her parents andbecause, even if she does hate it, at least it's an option. "I'm sorry no one wants to spend Christmas with you." She pauses. "That didn't come out right. Can we rewind this entire conversation?"

Aubrey hangs up the phone.

"I said rewind it, not end it." Beca calls her back. Again.

"Aubrey Posen speaking." Her honeyed tone makes Beca's eye twitch.

"Hey, is Aubrey there?" Beca receives only silence in response. "You know what, Aubrey? Maybe you should come. Maybe you should come right now. You can stop the Satanic Christmas Tree ritual happening in the living room and exorcise the basement ghost, and while you're gloating about how you saved Christmas or whatever, at least I won't have to wear two pairs of sweatpants and I'll have light to take naked pictures of myself with."

"I have no idea what you're talking about right now," Aubrey says, "But…are you okay?"

If Beca isn't mistaken, it sounds like there is some genuine concern in her voice. "I can't tell if you're mocking me or if you actually care."

"It's a little bit of both."

Right. "How many days until you're here?"

"Why? So you can hide and I'll think you moved and never try to contact you again?"

"You're texting Chloe while you're on the phone with me, aren't you? You know, your two person gossip mill makes little old church ladies look like amateurs."

"You're lucky the only person I forwarded that picture to is Chloe."

Beca bolts upright, picking up her phone after it lands in her lap. "You sent it to Chloe?"

"You ask that like she hasn't already seen you naked." Someone speaks in the background, and Aubrey covers the mic on the phone to respond to them. "I have to go, Beca. A bear made it past the traps and is harassing some of the guests."

"Those guests can wait. Aubrey. Aub-" The all too familiar clicking sound stops Beca mid-word. She's not going to wish getting eaten by a bear on Aubrey. She's not going to wish getting eaten by a bear on Aubrey.

Stacie knocks on the doorframe.

"Can it wait?" Beca asks. She's already mid-day dream, thinking about Aubrey getting eaten by a bear.

"I just want you to know, you don't have to worry about telling Jesse about sending the picture to Aubrey. I explained everything."

Beca collapses back down on her back. She'll be lucky if Aubrey wraps the bear in a ribbon and sends it to maul her as a Christmas gift. "Thanks," she snaps, then calls her back before she can walk away too far. "What am I on, like, a ten scale?" she asks, hushed.

Stacie stares at her for a second, before answers, "Like a solid six."

"One point above half?"

Stacie shrugs.

"I think you're an eleven," Chloe says, appearing in the doorway.

"Out!" Beca demands from both of them and points toward the hall.

Stacie scoffs.

"And delete that picture from your phone!"

"Aubrey sent it to me," Chloe explains not so quietly as the two of them leave.

"Ooh, can you send it to me?" Stacie asks.

"I'm going to check everybody's phones, and I don't want to see that picture!" Beca props herself up on her elbows. Her phone rings next to her, and when she looks down to see who it is, it's even worse than getting a call from Aubrey right now. It's Jesse.