Chapter Eight; White Wedding

Elizabeth slept in the guest bedroom at Kink's and left as scheduled from the Omaha airport with the proper send off like the night before never happened. Elizabeth was glad that no one brought it up she was still emotionally hollow from the experience and its aftermath. As Kink put it, the whole thing had knocked off scabs on old wounds. Jane and Elizabeth tearfully embraced at the drop off for Elizabeth's flight.

"Whattya gunna do for fun now that I'm gone?" Elizabeth asked jokingly of her friends.

"Plan what we're gunna do next time you're in town/ finally plan that trip to see you/ I have no idea." Meg said also in tears.

"Everything's going to be real quite around here, you're leaving, the todget is leaving tomorrow and Darcy already left." Matt observed, Elizabeth and he embraced as she replied,

"You'll only have Jessie and Gaye to make fun of."

Elizabeth's flight was as pleasant as expected. With every mile put between her and Iowa she felt her emotional mess slowly unknot. And by the time the wheels of the plane touched down Elizabeth was almost better. The distress she felt was now small enough that she could lock it up in a corner of her mind and meet New York City completely normal.

"LUCI!" a voice called out to her as she entered the commons. Elizabeth embraced the group that welcomed her home.

Buzzzz! Buzzt! Elizabeth had been home for about two weeks, long enough for her to hunt and gather food and dive back into work. She wasn't performing in the current or next show that was rehearsing, but she still attended rehearsal everyday to get back into shape.

"Yellow?" Elizabeth said into her PA.

"Benn?" the fuzzy voice of Lottie came through the speaker.

"Ohmigod!" Elizabeth exclaimed buzzing her best friend up to her sixth floor studio.

"What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked after they embraced and finished squealing.

"I wanted to surprise you, did it work?"

"Oh, Lottie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head stapled to the floor, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now." The women laughed and settled themselves on the futon.

"So this is New York." Charlotte observed.

"If you wouldda called me…" Elizabeth trailed off; she noticed Charlotte's hand, more specifically the huge gaudy diamond and gold monstrosity taking over her ring finger.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Elizabeth exclaimed grabbing her best friend's had and staring at the jewel.

"Oh, that."

"Yes that!"

"I'm getting married!" Charlotte cried throwing her arms around her friend.

"I see that," Elizabeth said after the hug. "But to who?"

"Collins."

"WHAT!"

"Collins purposed to me and I accepted." Charlotte said confused by Elizabeth's reaction.

"Why?" Was all the response she got.

"Why should you be surprised, my dear Eliza? Do you think it incredible that Collins should be able to procure any woman's good opinion, because he was not so happy as to succeed with you?" Charlotte paused and pushed Elizabeth's jaw closed.

"I see what you are feeling; you must be surprised, so lately Collins was wishing to marry you. But look at Matthew Broderick, he was engaged twice before Sarah Jessica Parker."

"Charlotte…"

"I hope in time you'll understand my decision. I was never a romantic, you planed your dream wedding, I planned my dream business. I've never been into prince charming and weddings, so as long as I do eventually walk down the aisle I don't much care. He isn't so bad really, not to mention I remember a little speech you gave about taking a nerd and turning him into a butterfly."

"I'm still not comprehending. My brain no compute." Elizabeth said, Charlotte looked a bit sad but continued on.

"Lizzy, you went to college and then got the hell out of Iowa, now look at you, everything you wanted you've done. I have a MBA but am still bussing tables in noman's land. If I marry Liam I will be in Boston, I'll have a shot. I'm taking it." Charlotte said, Elizabeth knew she had a point, but still didn't agree.

"Everyone has somebody, if you marry Collins you'll live the rest of your life knowing that your husband is out there and you're not."

"Well his 'wife' can marry my 'husband' and it'll all be good." Charlotte said finger quoting 'wife' and 'husband'. Elizabeth shook her head and almost said something but Charlotte cut her off.

"I was left for another man, Elizabeth. And not just any other man, a trainer. A trainer named Dash. I was left for a punctuation mark. I just stopped carrying after that. When it comes to men they're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit, but they're afraid to get close. They want to get close; you don't want to get near them." Charlotte looked off at the floor as she said this, not seeing the array of emotions that Elizabeth's animated face bore.

"So you want to get near Collins? He falls into the category of people you can commit to? Lottie, Lottie, Lottie, your head's not on straight…"

"I'm looking for support Elizabeth! Your mother and sister are bitches from hell; M&M are disappointed in me so is Gaye and Jessie! I fly out here, so far away from my norm seeking support I don't need this! I'm going to marry him!" Tears welled in Charlotte's eyes.

"I'm sorry Lottie." Elizabeth said, instantly regretting her censure of her friend's decision, at least to her face. Elizabeth took Charlotte's wire framed glasses and set them on the coffee table and then embraced her soul sister letting her weep on her shoulder. After the sobs quieted Elizabeth wiped her friend's eyes and moved to her 'kitchen', really a corner of the room with a counter, fridge and stove. From a cabinet she pulled out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses from a tourist store and her NYU days. After a health belt Elizabeth tried to be the perfect friend and asked,

"So… details."

"I want you to be my maid of honor." Charlotte said, pouring them each another shot.

"I would be honored Lottie. When is the wedding?"

"Two weeks." Elizabeth choked on the vodka and it threatened to come out her nose.

"Two weeks?" she repeated.

"Yep, the fifteenth. That's another reason why I'm here. I need wedding clothes and I need you there."

"Don't you want Meg and Eileen there with you?" Elizabeth asked.

"They will be there for the wedding, but neither is happy with me right now, I was hopping to get a better reception from you…"

"Lottie forgive me, please, I was surprised but I trust you above all else so I will try to be the best maid a bride could want."

"Thank you."

"We'll start tomorrow. Oh, oh, this means I get to go into all those fabulous and expensive wedding stores! This will totally rock; it'll be a total shopping Saturday." Charlotte agreed.

"What do you think?" Charlotte asked. She was standing on the pedestal of the ninth bridal boutique that morning.

"It's perfect, Charlotte, perfect." And it was. The dress was stunning and simple with an off the shoulders neckline, simple A frame design in an off white (it had some crazy French name but it was really just off white) colored satin that came to the floor.

"I love it. Oh, Benn, I can see why women go gaga over this wedding thing, I feel so beautiful." Lizzy shed a few tears and hugged her bride to be buddy.

They ate an early lunch at one of Noho's little bohemian cafés before beginning the quest for a bride's maids' dress. They were found after three tries around the city, but both Charlotte and Elizabeth were thankful for the search, it reaped great reward. Meg was pregnant and Elizabeth was petite thus they opted for an empire wasted gown with a scoop neckline. The top was short sleeved and velvet, the lower half was floor length satin. It was in a beautiful shade of garnet red that both girls fell in love with instantly.

Crawling, on the planet's face. Some insects, called the Human Race. Lost in Time, and lost in space... and in meaning.

Don't dream it, be it.

October 1st, 2005 9:51:09 EST

Feeling: Feelings, nothing more than feelings

Music: Lisa Carew; Jekyll and Hyde, Original Cast 1995

Lottie Lu, Can This Be You? What Kind of Man is This You've Taken?

Lisa Carew, Can this be you? What kind of man is this you've taken? Can you not see the kind of life that this would be? You are mistaken! Time to awaken before it's too late before you've forever determined your fate! Charlotte's making a mistake; she's agreed to marry the todget! She's resolute! She's having him! I helped her pick her wedding dress – more like funeral shroud. How strange this is! And for this we are to be thankful. That they should marry, small as their change of happiness, and wretched as is his character, we are forced to rejoice! I can't believe I am to be a party to this – I'm the maid of honor. And yet I cannot for the life of me stand the groom. They're marrying in two weeks. She's staying with me till then. It doesn't feel right! It doesn't feel right! I have sympathy for her. Not only is she marrying the todget but mother has been an unholy bitch to every Lucas and Lydia is making everyone's life hell. I just cannot wrap my head around it! I shall just act like she was marrying a man I approved of and treat it as such, from my gift to my time at her wedding. I can visualize people well, so Lottie in my mind shall be married to…to Sir Laurence Olivier. He's really really really really hott. Okay his personal life was a bit shotty, but still he was gorgeous!

The weeks before Charlotte's wedding ended and Elizabeth found herself in the line of bride's maids ready to walk Charlotte to her fate. Things hadn't gone smoothly by any stretch of the imagination. About a week before the day Charlotte had found Elizabeth's journal entry about her wedding. Naturally this distressed her.

"Lizzy! How could you?" Charlotte exclaimed when Elizabeth returned from the theater one evening.

"What?" Elizabeth asked trying to remember what she could've done.

"My wedding! I honestly expected respect for this decision! I'm almost twenty seven, I was never pretty and I have found someone who could keep me content and you go on and on about how crazy I am! Don't you trust me! I trusted you!"

The girls hadn't spoken much since the fight. And of course they couldn't now. Elizabeth approached the door of the Marriott ball room where the Lucas – Collins wedding was being held and took the arm of the best man; apparently he was William's friend from college. The man was at least not greasy, other than that Elizabeth didn't know.

The ceremony was short and sweet to someone who didn't know the full story. Collins had cleaned up tolerably and the bride was utterly stunning. All the maids looked good and all agreed that they needed a stiff drink after the ceremony. Thankfully the reception held at a ball room promised a fully stocked bar.

The best man, Henry Stride was less greasy and more humorous than Collins was currently and after his heart felt toast to the couple Elizabeth was ready to do what had come to her on the wedding's eve. She was handed the microphone as promised and with a deep cleansing breath she began a different kind of cleansing.

"For those of you, who don't know who I am, my name is Elizabeth and I'm here to roast our dear Miss Charlotte Ann Lucas – oops! Mrs. Charlotte Ann Collins. Stride did a grate job roasting the charming groom but he left the bride untouched, thus here I am with a microphone, your attention and some good 'references'. Back when we were at our craziest years (surprisingly its not this age) we promised to at every public event embarrass each other as much as possible. I remember my graduation and some photos that came to light in an enlarged way – never trust this woman with any photo that is remotely, let's go with interesting; I also remember my first stage performance and a 'little' sign of her love for all to see, by little I mean megaphone and a sign taller than I am. So here I am ready to make a speech about how lucky you are William." Elizabeth received some chuckles as she reached by her chair and retrieved her prop.

"I brought with me a prop because Lottie just loves them so. This is a bra." Elizabeth held it up and shook it slightly before turning to Collins and addressing him directly. "It's the one I got Lot for her wedding night – so it's a preview of coming attractions as well as my visual aid. Charlotte is a lot like this bra. She's like the lace, sweet, provocative, delicate and feminine. But she is also like the sturdy straps and back of this thing, for all the pretty she is also practical and rational a good grounder. She's brought me down loads of times so trust me when I say she's the logical one. She even shares similar properties with the hooks in back. Bloody complicated and hard to get open if you don't try, but she keeps it all together. But above all the frills and dependency that make Lottie unique is the most important similarity between her and this piece of lingerie. The under wire. Sure every woman has complained about it, but every woman is thankful for it at the end of the day when her boobs don't hang low and wobble to and fro. Charlotte is the best support in the world. She's unwavering and uplifting. She keeps you on top and can make you perky again. Sure I've wanted to burn her a few times, just like a bra – these connections just keep popping out, uh, up. But in retrospect it was for the best. She is perfect for every woman, a necessity like air. I on the other hand am like crotch-less underwear – Sorry Collins, didn't get her that but I did look at them. Then I realized it was worthless, which is why it's like me. Crotch-less underwear is only good for one thing if that, a bra is universal. I am only really good for one thing – a bad example or I guess a good example of a bad thing, take your pick. But Charlotte is universal. You can use her to support you, you can use her to be logical and you can use her to be absolutely stunning. Like bra vs. stupid underwear or her vs. me - I'm stupid. She's smart. I am always wrong. She is always right. She's the best. I'm the worst. She's very good-looking. I'm not very attractive. And that's why I am sorry to see her go. Selfish as all this sounds I am sorry to give her up. But…" Elizabeth had been crying since her veiled apology to her friend, her voice was now cracking,

"I think about whom I'm losing her to, and he is far more in need and deserving of this miracle woman than I am. He needs a bra more than I do." The women embraced tearfully and people clapped. Some laughed but everyone with only one exception clapped. The exception was a stately woman in the corner who was very vexed and put out by everything. Her annoyance was heightened by her nephew and escort's amusement and joy at the brazen bride's maid's speech. Darcy on the other hand enjoyed it very much, not just because it was so embarrassing or so heartfelt, but because it was Elizabeth telling it.

Later after some pot shots from the couple themselves at their wedding party and food all around the floor was opened up for dancing. Charlotte and Collins shared their first dance to Jekyll and Hyde's 'Take me as I am', and Charlotte danced with her father to the tune of the same name. Elizabeth stood out the dancing for a few songs nursing a gin, straight up; she didn't even notice that there was anyone beside her until Darcy offered her a flute of Champagne.

"Oh! Darcy! I didn't notice you at all!" Elizabeth said surprised looking up at Fitzwilliam Darcy, a man whom she never really wanted to see again. Even if he had been nice to her that one time.

"Not notice Fitzwilliam Darcy?" A voice behind Darcy screeched sounding vaguely like an older Caroline Bingley, that estimate turned out to be true as Darcy produced Lady Cat de Bourgh, the woman whom Collins had gone on and on and on about.

"Miss, I don't think you know who you are talking to, this is a man with more money to his name that you and the rest of the bridal party combined." Wha, wha, wha, wha, want wa wa. Was all Elizabeth heard after a while, she tuned back in when the old woman finished her speech by saying,

"It is he who shouldn't notice you at all." Darcy blushed as red as the gown Elizabeth was wearing, she just laughed.

"Champagne?" Darcy asked again trying to cover for his aunt.

"I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody." Was Elizabeth's comment, obviously alluding to his aunt's 'connections' rant. He understood.

"Well, perhaps after you finish with your drink you'd dance with me?" Darcy asked as Elizabeth drained her glass. Why the hell not? He can dance, and Gaye and Jessie are both busy.

"Whatever." Was Elizabeth's half hearted reply. Darcy took her hand with inner glee and led her to the floor. They got into a simple waltz position and began to dance.

"I'm sorry about her." He said, "She's old school about everything when it comes to names and who's who." He said dancing with her; she nodded slowly but in understanding. "And she's all on edge because she really doesn't associate with these types of people." He nodded towards Gaye and Jessie dancing and kissing as well as some other of Charlotte's friends.

"I see. She hates me because I'm from a working class family, have an artistic job, am brazen, and associate myself with hooligans." She said snappishly.

"She doesn't hate you. And where did you get the brazen thing?" He asked.

"Please, from the sounds of Stride Collins wasn't always such a prude, and since he worships your aunt I can assume that it's her influence that has driven him to his evil ways."

"That's not exactly fair. I wouldn't call you people hooligans or my aunt particularly prudish."

"Then what would you call us, and did you look at your aunt?"

"You decided on hooligans so let it be and I just thought her outfit was ugly."

"I'll agree on one point. And be kind and drop the other." They were silent for a moment before Darcy asked,

"I was surprised that you support Charlotte like you do, I thought you hated Collins." He said they were dancing by the couple that she had often run to in town.

"I will support Charlotte from now till eternity didn't you hear my speech."

"I did and I loved it. But don't you think it's all asinine? She's marrying the man you we're supposed to marry first." Elizabeth glared at him and stepped out of his arms,

"Hey, Darcy. Eat a bag of shit. You suck. Cutting in!" She directed the former to him and the latter to the boys as she took the place of the man who was leading, leaving him with the guy.

"Hi," the man said, "you must be Darcy. I'm Jessie." The guy said, Darcy remained in the lead and felt quite silly leaving when the guy danced so well, besides if this Jessie knew Elizabeth like he assumed he did he wanted some answers.

"What did I say to her?" Darcy asked.

"I don't know, but I do know what she said to you," then in a perfect imitation of her voice he quoted her back to him. "'Hey, Darcy. Eat a bag of shit. You suck.' Now that's pretty much to the point, not much gray area in that one. So whatever you said you really pissed her off."

"No, did I?" Darcy asked sarcastically as he watched Elizabeth and his dancing partner's partner.

"You know not a thing about her do you?" Jessie asked looking at him knowingly.

"What do you mean, what's there to know?" He replied.

"Exactly, you're receiving an education tonight, come to room 1213 tonight at the hotel next door and I'll explain."

Darcy looked at the door he was standing in front of at three am that night. The reception had wound down and he had time to change before he got a call from Jessie who had some how found him. He was serious about this Elizabeth thing. So here he was knocking on a strange gay man's door trying to find out about a very complex woman. The door opened and he was pulled inside by Jessie and his partner. Inside was also Matt Ethans who told him to

"Sit" like he was practicing at being a father. Darcy did as he was told and all three men stood for a moment with their arms crossed staring at him. He stared back.

"You don't know a damn about Benn do you?" Elizabeth's dance partner said.

"Enlighten me." The men exchanged looks that said, 'he asked for it.' Matt began.

"Elizabeth Luciana Bennet is the second daughter of five born to Tomas and Francis Bennet. Francis's first words about her second daughter was, "This was supposed to be a boy, what am I going to do with another girl, I already have Jane." That sort of set the tone for Lizzy didn't it?" Matthew paused and gave Darcy another hard look, Darcy didn't register anything yet. "Francis wanted to name the child Jonathina, because the boy's name was supposed to be John. Tomas put his foot down and named his daughter Elizabeth, after his mother, a woman Francis hates, and Luciana on of Tomas's favorite Shakespearean names. This is why Tomas is so close to Elizabeth, yet so far. He desperately loves that bitch of a wife, despite the fact she's a bitch. Elizabeth only had Tomas, but Francy presents a block. Thus Elizabeth grew up a touch detached. Francis wanted nothing to do with her so she didn't; she would only do the bare minimum and spent the rest of her time with Jane. Elizabeth was lonely and was pretty much raised by Tomas Bennet, and his friends, Bill Lucas, Kink Jennings and their wives Eileen and Marianna. It was hard for Elizabeth to comprehend her mother, and every step she's taken has been in an attempt to bring herself closer to the woman she loves, despite all this and the more to come." Matthew paused again and the dance partner took over,

"When Jane was five and Elizabeth three Francis enrolled Jane in dance lessons, Francis couldn't dump Elizabeth so she came along and watched to. Elizabeth wanted so much to be like her older sister, so in the corner she would practice what Jane would do. This continued for years, Francis said that Elizabeth wasn't pretty enough or girly enough to be in ballet but would take her to watch her pretty perfect sister. Elizabeth never let her mother know her sadness and Elizabeth would continue to practice off to the side of the room. Elizabeth was a natural at dancing she was far better than a majority of the learning class and the teachers would beg to Francis to enroll her second daughter. Francis never did. As they got older, Jane had no desire to dance but was forced to. Elizabeth wanted to dance so both girls appealed to their father and his friends, they hatched a plan. Jane would ride with her mother to dance, Elizabeth would ride with her father or some one else. The girls would meet in the bathroom, Elizabeth would wear Jane's stuff and go to class and Jane would go with who ever had brought her sister and they would spend time together. Elizabeth was an amazing student in not time she needed to be moved up. She was able to start taking point three years before anyone else her age. Even though that was fronded upon she was talented beyond her years. As they grew Francis got more and more catty to her second daughter, every time Elizabeth was victorious, Francy would rank aloud how much she loved her children, it would go: Jane, Lydia, Kitty, Mary, the dog, Elizabeth. Elizabeth suffered the verbal abuse by throwing herself into what she felt safe in, books and the theater, she danced, acted, costumed, make upped, worked back stage, and studied. She tried to win her mother's love. She graduated top of her class and could've gone any where." The man stopped, Darcy was now feeling something. Good Lord, no wonder she was so against her family and so close to everyone else. And so touchy over any comment about her appearance or dance. "But what she didn't know was that Francis enjoyed shopping for Jane and Lydia and would spend obscene amounts of money, money she would sometimes take out of Elizabeth's account. By the time Elizabeth graduated high school she had only seven hundred dollars to her name, she could go no where. The town wanted to drum Francis out of the country, Jane was mortified and paid her sister back, it badly affected Jane. I think during the rest of her college years she spoke to a shrink. Elizabeth refused the money saying that if her mother didn't see it fit to send her to college then she wouldn't go." OH MY FUCKING GOD! Darcy thought, the pieces were falling into place, everything was making sense now. Jessie began to speak; these men were approaching this like an intervention, each saying their two cents about the woman.

"The whole town called a meeting and they raised enough, more than enough money to send her to an audition for the TISCH School of the arts. Everyone knew that Elizabeth Bennet was something special when it came to dance, even NYU who snapped her up in a flash with a full ride scholarship. Elizabeth attended gratefully and got more than a BFA in Dance. She became a star. Her first ballet solo she received a five minute standing ovation. She was offered all sorts of positions and danced during her school years for the New York Ballet Company. Her stage début was as the alternate for the star and woman who defined the character of the ballet Giselle. She would've out shone the woman if it wasn't for seniority. Critics loved her; she was getting no rest from them at NYU that was when her alter ego was born. Elizabeth would be Elizabeth at school and such but when she danced she would be her stage persona. It gave her peace." Jessie said. The men were winding down their confrontation, Darcy could tell, he was glad this was a sensory overload for him.

"Elizabeth is a star, she stars in ballet and has been on Broadway, she's been in the favor of the company for eight years." Matt said.

"Her mother doesn't know all of it, she knows that her daughter is living in Nolita New York and is a dancer, Francis doesn't approve." The dancer continued.

"And it's killing Benn inside. After you dropped her off at Dad's she had a break down. She was tried of her mother hating her and the world not knowing a damn thing. The girl's broken inside but also as tough as nails so be careful. And if you damage her further…" Jessie began and all three men finished with,

"We'll break you."

From the PDA of F. Darcy

It's about five am and try as I might my insomnia that usually pledges me while I am in my aunt's house has only gotten worse since returning from my intervention about Elizabeth, for lack of a better descriptor. I'm losing the particulars of the story because I'm so fucking tired but my mind won't shut up. Everything's falling into place, why didn't I see it before? I always knew Elizabeth was amazing but what I've heard is just surreal. If I hadn't heard it from her friend's I wouldn't have believed it. I can't even chalk this up to good acting, she wasn't. I was just too blind to think about her being worth a damn. No wonder everyone talked about a company and good news! Why doesn't she talk about it more freely? But I see why she avoided her mother in any form at any time. And I see why she was so smart, cultured, beautiful, and bohemian. God, I still love her. The story has only made me want to rush in on a white stead and be her knight in shining armor. And I'm no real romantic. This is all so complicated. Will I never be free of this woman? There's too much in my head to do me any good and damn it, damn it, damn it, the feeling is only getting worse.

AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'd also like to really thank GeeAMouse for the heads up on the fact that i originally posted really numbers in chapter seven. I hope all has been changed. but if heaven forbid it hasn't For the love of all things holy don't call them! Show maturity! that said, I feel better. Thanks again.