Chapter Fourteen; The End of Innocence
If Music be the Food of Love Play On
And listen to the music of the night
November 20th, 2005
Feeling: Thrilled
Music: Matchmaker; Fiddler on the Roof, thirtieth anniversary edition of the original move cast
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Luciana and William sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage. My brother FINALLY kissed Luciana last night. It's about time; he's been in love with her ever since his first day at Lady Austin's. They danced to my tune well, he took her to dinner, they went to the show and came back home. It was fun, Luci is a wonderful woman. Then I fell asleep, next thing I know I hear them singing with my stereo. And then all was silent, they were necking. From Christine and Erik I know song is a prelude to a kiss, I'm so happy about this! Liam is so in love with her and she is so in love with him. They think I don't see. He's been like this since Iowa and an Elizabeth Bennet… Hold on… I googled Luciana and apparently she and Elizabeth Bennet of Maryton, IOWA are one in the same. Liam met Luciana before he knew, how didn't he know? That means he's been in love with her for a long time. If I play my cards right I may be getting a new sister by next recital. Ohmigod! I forgot to talk about the show. But I'll do it later, I have a thing…
More later
G
From the PDA of F. Darcy
I feel your fingers - Cold on my shoulder - Your chilling touch, as it runs down my spine - Watching your eyes as they invade my soul - Forbidden pleasures I'm afraid to make mine. At the touch of your hand - At the sound of your voice - At the moment your eyes meet mine - I am out of my mind - I am out of control - Full of feelings I can't define! It's a sin with a name – Like a hand in a flame – And our senses proclaim… It's a dangerous game! A darker dream - That has no ending - That's so unreal you believe that it's true! A dance of death - Out of a mystery tale - The frightened princess doesn't know what to do! Will the ghosts go away? No.
Will she will them to stay? No. Either way, there's no way to win! All I know is' I'm lost - And I'm counting the cost - My emotions are in a spin! I don't know who to blame... It's a crime and a shame! But it's true all the same.
It's a dangerous game! No one speaks - Not one word - But what words are in our eyes. Silence speaks Loud and clear all the words we (don't) want to hear! At the touch of your hand - At the sound of your voice - At the moment your eyes meet mine - I am losing my mind - I am losing control - Fighting feelings I can't define! It's a sin with a name No remorse and no shame - Fire, fury and flame Cos the devil's to blame! And the angels proclaim it's a dangerous game! It's pleasure and pain listening to that song, and I'm a masochist. Last nigh will forever be on my mind, it was heaven. We went to dinner together she taught me some French and learned some Gaelic, then we went to Georgiana's show. She treated G like she was her won sister. It made me so happy, to see the two women I love getting along so well, Elizabeth would be good for Georgie. Oh Georgie, she was so grown up. It just makes me want to cry, she really is old now. I miss that little girl sitting in my lap poking at piano keys. Yet, I also love the woman sitting at the piano now, playing for a standing ovation. We came back to the house, and I never realized the difference between the bohemians and the bourgeois, I pray that won't play any part in anything. I love her. I love her if she was poor and I would love her if she was rich. After I deposited a sleeping G back in her med I found Elizabeth at the window, it was a cinema masterpiece. Then, okay, this sounds like a cheesy musical, but we sang Dangerous Game. AND I KISSED HER. I GOT TO KISS HER! There's noting, no word to describe it. It was a kiss to build a dream on. And I have.
Crawling, on the planet's face. Some insects, called the Human Race. Lost in Time, and lost in space... and in meaning.
Don't dream it, be it.
November 19th, 2005 7:02:23 AM CST
Feeling: Moonstruck
Music: And then he Kissed Me; The Crystals
Elizabeth Luciana Bennet – Darcy
I know, I know a bit early to thing wedding (Other than Jane's) But I am in love so… get me to the church on time. Have I said it lately? I love Fitzwilliam Darcy! Last night will rate as high in my memory as my début, or my children. We went and saw Georgiana play, which was beautiful. But the wonderfulness of her isn't the only reason for my joy. We went to Picholine! And that was just the beginning. I was important; I was recognized and photographed, like I was someone. Georgiana's performance was remarkable, I was so proud to know her. And even more proud when she wanted to spend intimate time with me. We went to the Darcy house nine floors, it's bigger than if you configured Freemont Mills high. It's so lovely. The view is spectacular. We had a good time, and I felt like something in the league of Ozzie and Harriet, he was in formal wear, I was in formal wear, and we were sitting at home. Georgiana fell asleep on the floor and when Darcy finished tucking her in I was at the window. Dangerous Game began to play and it was like some musical crossed with a romance novel. But his voice and his touch are just too good. And then he kissed me. He kissed me. And it was too perfect. I can't describe it. Better than any first kiss no matter what movie you see it in. God I love this man. And yet I am afraid. Our whole relationship has been two steps forward, one step back, sure we progress yet it is counteracted and at what cost. I'm afraid to more any more ahead, lest I not bare the consequences.
LUCIANA KEENE, Ballet virtuoso and the next Meg Girty for the Phantom of the Opera enjoys an evening with Julliard music and FITZWILLIAM DARCY number five on the forbs fortune list and number twenty on the PEOPLE eligible bachelor list. The couple was there to watch Darcy's younger sister perform. The clip of Elizabeth and Darcy together smiling at each other with love in their eyes made the rounds at the theater. It stayed out of Elizabeth/ Darcy's hands, but was in everyone else's. People were talking, not just about any people, but Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam people. They were positive, now with this clip that they were lovers kept under cover. They laughed just a little too loud, they stood just a little too close, and they stared just a little too long. He acted so nervous; could he be falling for her? Was she falling for him, she'd dream off during her down time, her eyes would light up if anyone moved that wasn't a dancer, like she was looking for 'someone'.
During the day, when she was busy Elizabeth didn't have any problem focusing. However any sliver of down time she thought about him, it threw her off. She'd stare in the mirror as she washed her hands and picture him standing be hide her like he had that night. It had been a week since then and they still hadn't spoken other than pleasantries. She couldn't blame anyone for how busy she was she was in as many scenes as humanly possible. As an adult, the snowflake princess, a Spanish dancer, a Russian dancer, and a Hungarian dancer, as side from being everyone's understudy. She simply didn't have time. Darcy too was busy, thankfully, that kept him from thinking about her and becoming totally lost. He had to stay in the bowels of the theater, because if he got close to the stage scenes might arise with Elizabeth and neither needed that. The fears Elizabeth felt about their strange relationship were sinking into Darcy as well. Call it paranoia, call it delusions, call it nothing at all, but Darcy felt like the other shoe was about to drop.
The sound of sirens broke through the auditorium, Elizabeth ran to her phone, her parents never called he when she was in New York.
"Lizzie?" It was Kitty, what was she doing home? Elizabeth questioned herself as she asked,
"What up?"
"Lydia's run away." Kitty said gravely.
"Lydia runs away every year…" Elizabeth replied, but Kitty cut her off.
"We found a pregnancy test in her room, it was pink."
"WHAT!" Elizabeth exclaimed sitting down sharply on the edge of a chair. "How pink is pink?"
"LIZZIE! Lydia's pregnant. Shade of pink doesn't mean a thing."
"Oh God."
"And Jane thinks it might be with her math tutor – she's with him all the time, but is still failing the course." Kitty said. Wickham. Wickham was the last thing she thought before everything went black.
Darcy had been diligent in his work on a New York Times crossword when Fredrick Wentworth burst into the room carrying a limp, but familiar body.
"What happened!" Darcy exclaimed ignoring the fact that he had managed to rip the page. Fredrick laid Elizabeth's body on the counter and said,
"Not a clue. One second she was talking to her sister the next second she fainted." Darcy grimaced; he knew the shit would hit the fan. Fredrick went back to the studio to assure everyone that the doctor was taking good care of her. And that he was. After stroking her hair and admiring how beautiful she was as she was asleep, of course. That laps through he grabbed his ammonia and brought her to. She immediately began to sit up but he pushed her down.
"No you don't." He said.
"Let me up, I've got a plane to catch!" she exclaimed.
"What happened?" He asked, still holding her down. She needed to relax.
"Lydia's pregnant! And it's all my fault!" Darcy blinked, surprised. "I should've never let her study with him in the first place, I know how she is! But then after I found out I should've said something! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stup…" She said smacking her head over and over until Darcy grabbed her wrist and silenced her with his lips. She fought him off.
"No! Fitzwilliam I can't. It's Wickham! She's pregnant with Wickham's child!" Elizabeth began to cry. This, she was sure would kill all her happiness she had found. He wouldn't want anything to do with her when her kid sister was pregnant with his arch – enemy's kid. What would that do to him, to Georgiana, to his reputation? She felt herself gather into his arms and her head being held to his strong shoulder as he rocked her. This only made her cry harder. She loved this man, but Lydia was going to ruin everything.
"Shhhh. Don't cry, everything will be okay. Everything will be fine. Try not to get worried. Try not to turn on to problems that upset you. Oh, don't you know, everything's alright. Yes everything's fine. And we want you to sleep well tonight. Let the world turn without you. If we try, we'll get by, so forget all about this.1 Shhhh. Don't cry, everything will be okay. Everything will be fine." Darcy whispered in her ear as he rocked her and held her. This tenderness only made Elizabeth cry harder, until she couldn't cry any more. Darcy raised her head and looked her in her eyes. They were still leaking, the tears bringing make up with them as they slid down her cheeks. He couldn't take it any more and he kissed her, hoping that it would make everything alright. He kissed away her tears and said softly,
"It's not your fault, its mine. I should've killed him long before. Don't blame yourself."
"But…" She began.
"No buts Elizabeth. This is my fault and mine alone. I will take care of it. Let me take care of it." Darcy said more firmly.
"How can you help, we're both here and they're there. I can't leave. I'm stuck here with nothing to do to help." Elizabeth sobbed, a new batch of tears falling from her eyes. Darcy cursed Wickham silently and repeatedly for causing distress to the woman he loved. "Elizabeth you need to go home, sleep, and eat some comfort food. I don't want you back here today or tomorrow. Okay?" He said wiping her eyes for her with his thumbs. "Get your stuff and I'll take you home." Elizabeth had no power to object, she was too drained to do anything but walk very slowly to her locker and gather her things.
The ride to her apartment was silent, she was too drained to say a word and he was lost in thought. She got out of his car and walked to her building door with only a wave. She stopped before entering and watched him drive away, another tear rolled down her cheek. Lest she not bare the consequences.
1 Jesus Christ Superstar Lyrics - 'case you wanted to know.