Disclaimer: Still not mine. The song The Luckiest belongs to Ben Folds, even though I wish I could have it.
Chapter Four
The rain stopped by midnight, and, after a few charms, everyone was back outside and dry. Once again, the party was in full swing, as witches and wizards alike danced their problems away. Ginny had cleaned herself up and was warm again, but she still felt cold inside. Her heart had been broken so many times that day, and she wished more than anything she could just curl up into a warm ball in her bed. Keeping up appearances was proving to be pretty dificult, but she had to pull it off. Today wasn't about her.
I don't get many things right the first time.
In fact, I am told that a lot.
The band began to play a slow song that Ginny had never heard before. A beautiful baritone voice played around the tables and surrounded her. The song had a distinct romantic feel, and Ginny sighed with frustration. Couples began to fill the dance floor. She stayed at a table with Hermione, watching the happy people enjoy themselves. She couldn't help but feel spiteful towards the dancers, and she found herself imagining each person that whirled by her tripping and falling flat on their faces.
She didn't know where Harry was, and she tried hard not to care. Hermione sat next to her, muttering under her breath and spinning the contents of her glass around sloppily. She had switched from Butterbeer to Firewhiskey quite some time ago, and now turned to Ginny and slurred, "Men suck."
From what Ginny had discovered from Hermione's drunken rambles, it seemed that she was angry at Ron. She had walked over by him and overheard him flirting with some cousin of Fleur's. When Hermione caught them at it, Ron had decided it would be a good time to make a joke. Obviously Hermione didn't agree.
The two had been walking on egg shells around each other ever since Dumbledore's funeral. Ron had comforted Hermione afterwards, and they had ended up snogging a little bit, but afterwards they were both too nervous to bring it up again. They had then spent all their time at the Dursley's and with Harry in Godric's Hollow, so they never had a chance to really be alone and talk about things. They had just been super polite to each other.
When Ron had been trying to worm his way out of the cousin situation, he had claimed that it didn't matter anyway, because they weren't really a couple. Hermione had burst into tears and run away, only to find herself more miserable alone. So she sought Ginny out, forcing the other girl to sit by as her friend drank her problems into oblivion.
The spiteful words had just left Hermione's mouth when Ron appeared, a rose in his hand.
"A rose for a rose," he tried lamely, making Hermione snort with drunken laughter. He blushed a deep crimson, then tried again. "Hermione, you know that you're the only one I love. That other girl, she was nothing. I'm an idiot, and for once and for all, let's just make this official."
Hermione simply stared at him, a bit bleary eyed, so he added, "Hermione, please, be my girlfriend. It's about time."
She gasped and stood up, stumbling a bit. "Oh Won-Won!"
She fell into a drunken fit of laughter again, and Ron just stared at her until she had composed herself. "Of course, you dolt!" she managed to spill out.
Ron beamed. "Dance with me, beautiful."
Together, the two walked onto the dance floor with all the others, Hermione slightly stumbling and Ron holding her up.
Ginny looked around to make sure no one was watching, then tipped the contents of Hermione's glass into her own.
"Perfect," she muttered sarcastically as the alcohol burned its way down her throat.
Now I know all the wrong turns,
Stumbles, and falls brought me here.
Ginny hated this song. It was so happy and lovey dovey, just like all those stupid couples. Why couldn't Ginny find anyone? Why did she always feel so alone, even if she was surrounded by people? She knew now that everything was going to be different. She wasn't going to be able to date random guys anymore, not after everything that had happened with Harry. She didn't need pointless dating, she couldn't settle. If she couldn't have Harry, she'd have to find someone else who matched up, or at least came close.
Ginny took a swig of the last of the firewhiskey and looked back at the couples. All year, she had pretended she was so strong and independent, pretended she could take on the world. Sure, it was easy to pretend to be strong in the little cocoon Hogwarts made for her, but now that Hogwarts was probably finished with, she knew she couldn't hide out. She couldn't just pretend anymore. She had to be that strong girl everyone expected her to be.
Every guy she had dated was just a cover for her. She had taken Hermione's advice and acted like herself around Harry, but was it really herself? She didn't even know who she was anymore. She had become so consumed in everyone else's opinions of her, she had gotten so used to being what everyone expected her to be. She tried to be funny, like Fred and George, and brave, the way Ron was when he fought alongside Harry. She tried to be a good Quidditch player like Charlie, she tried to be smart like Bill and Percy. She tried to take care of people the way her mother did and she took an interest in Muggle things to bond with her father. Everything she did was for someone else, she was always trying to live up to those before her.
It was time she started living for herself.
"Ginny," a voice said from behind her. She turned to see Harry standing there, his hand held out towards her. "Can't we just, for tonight, be like them?" he nodded at Ron and Hermione, who were leaning against each other on the dance floor. "Just dance with me."
"We both know that's not a good idea," Ginny said, pouring the last of the champagne from the bottle into her glass. Ron wispered something into Hermione's ear and she laughed, then nuzzled herself against him. Both of their faces were serious now.
"But why not?" he asked like a little kid denied a pony ride, sitting down next to her. Hermione said something quietly, with a small smile on her face. Ron looked surprised at first, looking down at her with a mix of love, adoration, and amusement on his face.
"Because when I'm with you, I tend to lose control." She downed the champagne. Next to her was a full glass, so she poured the liquid into her own glass. Ron gently kissed the top of Hermione's head, and her smile grew.
"I can see how much you like being in control," he nodded to the glass at her lips.
She glared at him. "It's a special occasion. I'm allowed to get smashed."
"So get smashed with me," he whined. Her brother and Hermione had spun off into the crowd, and now she had no choice but to focus on Harry.
"Are you ready to love me?" She asked him seriously, knowing he wouldn't be ready. As much as she wished she could just pretend he was in love with her, she knew pretending didn't get her anywhere these days.
He looked down. "I don't know."
"Then I can't just dance with you. It'll be too hard."
He looked up at her. "Gin, I'm leaving tomorrow, and I may never be coming back. You know that, and I know that, so for God's sake, just give me one effing dance."
He pulled her up off her feet and she set her glass on the table. She was just so damn tired of fighting him. Maybe he'd get what he wanted and then let her move on with her life. Swaying a bit as she stood, he wrapped his hands around her waist, steadying her. He led her to the dance floor, and she laid her head onto his shoulder in an old position they easily reformed to. She had thought that such a position had been forgotten. They gently swayed to the music. Ginny could hear his heartbeat in her ear, and she silently cursed herself for having given in so easily. She was never going to be over him at this rate.
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face
Now I see it everyday
Harry leaned in towards Ginny's ear. She could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck, and it sent shivers down her spine. Shivers of both elation and fear. She tried to ignore them, but it was hard. It was hard to ignore something so close to her, something she wanted so badly. He whispered to her softly.
"Did you mean what you said before? That you'll always love me?"
Ginny sighed, the magic she had felt at first seeming to have disolved a bit. She lifted her head off his shoulder. "Oh, I don't know," she muttered. "Probably..."
"But why?" He asked, staring into her eyes again, and that familiar feeling came back in her stomach, that feeling of butterflies. Those damn butterflies.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ginny asked with a mischievous smile.
"What? Just that I'm the 'Chosen One'?" He asked, a bit sadly.
She quietly chuckled. "Harry, if you really think that's why, you're even dafter than I thought!" he looked crestfallen. "Everyone can see how great you are, Harry. Everyone but you, apparently."
She laid her head back onto her shoulder again, and closed her eyes. As she did so, she faintly heard him whisper, "I can see how great you are."
She smiled but didn't say anything, and for a bit longer, they just swayed to the music.
And I know that I am,
I am, I am the Luckiest
"I like this song," Ginny whispered, prior to her last devilish thoughts. Right now, she felt happy, even if he was confusing her more. She meant every word she said. As much as she tried to be angry with him, she couldn't do it. Fighting her heart was more exhausting than fighting Voldemort.
Harry looked down at the top of Ginny's head, a small smile on his face. "Me too."
He gently kissed her forehead, and she looked up at him. Fighting be damned, she thought to herself. She was going to have a good time tonight, even if it was the last time she'd be with Harry. It was time to allow herself to be happy, time to allow herself to flirt a little for once. Like the old days.
"I like a lot of things..." she said in her sexiest voice.
"Oh really?" he asked with a grin. "Like what?"
"Well," she began with a dramatic sigh, "I like rainy days and big umbrellas, I like Quidditch games and drunken Hermiones... I like slow dances and champagne. I like Charms class and Chocolate Frogs." She looked up at him. "I like lightning bolt scars and emerald green eyes." She leaned in towards his lips as she whispered. "And I definitely like boys named Harry."
Harry smiled and kissed her nose. She tilted her head back so that their lips were even.
What If I'd been born 50 years before you
In a house on a street where you lived
"Ginny, I--" Harry whispered so quietly that she couldn't hear him.
"What?" she said softly, her eyes still on his lips.
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know
"I--" he began again, but stopped.
"You what, Harry?" she asked again, softer, finding his eyes with hers.
"I think..." He cut himself off and looked away from her.
Then in a wide sea of eyes
I'd
see one pair that I recognized
"I think..." he paused, looking back at her.
"You think what?"
His eyes bore into her soul again, sending sparks from her toes to the top of her head. But instead of saying what she hoped he'd say, he just shook his head.
And I'd know that I am
I am, I am the Luckiest
"Why are you so afraid, Harry?" she asked tenderly, still staring into his eyes.
"I'm not afraid," he said, but they both knew it was a lie.
"Harry, you won't love me because you think I'll be hurt if you open your heart. But the only way you could hurt me is if you don't give me a chance!" She said, then looked down. A stop on the floor beneath them was all she could stare at, but it began to spin away as her eyes got misty."I'm sick of trying, Harry. I really am. I'm the girl, and dammit, in those Muggle movies, the girl always gets chased. So stop making me chase you Harry. Just let me love you, and love me back the way I know you can."
Harry lifted her chin so that she had to look back up at him.
"I'm scared to love you because I'm leaving so soon. I can't bare to leave you here the day after we declare our love, and I'm scared that if I don't come back, it will hurt you more. I'm scared because I know that if he does kill me, he'll come after everyone I love first. And I'm scared because the person I love most is you, and that means you'll be the first he goes after." He stared at her long and hard, then added, "I'm scared that you won't move on if I don't come back, and you continue to love the memory of me. But what I'm scared of most is that you will move on, and I'll just be a man you once loved."
Ginny couldn't help it, she laughed. He looked shocked.
"Harry, you fool. Even if I do move on, I will always love you. I could be a crazy old woman surrounded by cats, and I won't stop thinking about you. But just because I may still love you doesn't mean I can't love anyone else. I don't want to think about that, though, Harry, because I believe, more than anything, you will come back. You'll come back for me because you've always been my hero, and I trust you to save the day."
He smiled at her and whispered, "I do have a saving people thing..."
"Stop being afraid, Harry," she smiled up at him. "The only thing you should be afraid of is that if you don't give this a chance, you might miss out on something really great. What if we are soul mates, Harry? What if you are 'the one'? I don't want to miss that because of fear. That's just what Voldemort wants, and if you give up on love, you give up on life! Harry, this year is going to be so hard, but we can help each other get through it! Don't leave it like this, Harry. Don't be afraid anymore."
Harry didn't say anything more, just leaned in, this time touching her lips with his. They gently embraced, and it felt right. Even though it had only been a bit of time they were apart, it felt as though an eternity since they had last touched like this. Ginny moved in closer to him, feeling as though she wanted to be part of him, and him a part of her. She wasn't sure anymore where she stopped and where he began, and she was enjoying that feeling. She wanted them to be together forever, and no way would she let anything get between them again.
He stopped kissing her and looked down at her, before whispering into her lips. "I think I'm ready to love you."
She gently moved her head back and whispered, never moving her eyes from his, "I know I'm ready to love you."
I love you more than I have
Ever
found the way to say to you
She leaned in to kiss him again, but this time he pulled back.
"Ginny, nothing's changed," he said sadly. "I'm still leaving tomorrow, we have no time together.
"No," she said, pulling him back to her. "We have tonight."
She laid her head back onto his shoulder, and a tear rolled down her cheek and onto his suit jacket.
"I'm going to miss you,"he said, kissing the top of her head. "More than you know possible."
Next door there's an old man who lived to his 90s
Then one day, passed away in his sleep
"I'm going to miss you too," she said as tears flowed down her lovely face. She looked back up at him. He wiped her tears away with his thumb, then kissed her salty lips.
"Let's not think about that tonight," he said, taking off his jacket and wrapping her in it.
"Tonight," she said, pulling him back to her. "Let's just be in love."
And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
And
passed away
Ginny took Harry's head and led him off the dance floor. They floated between all the other couples, who were absorbed in themselves. They walked by the tables and chairs, and into the dark and empty house. No one noticed their departure.
"Where are we going?" whispered Harry, but she simply put a finger to his lips.
They walked through the house and to the stairs. Silently and slowly, they began their ascent.
I'm sorry I know that's a
Strange way to tell you
That I know we belong together
Ginny stopped after the second flight of stairs and pulled open a wooden door. She stepped inside backwards, pulling Harry in after her. He looked around, not all too surprised to find himself in her room. The walls were green, and covered in posters of Quidditch teams and pictures of her friends from Hogwarts. He noticed a picture of the two of them sitting in the library, eating chocolate eggs, and he walked towards it.
"I remember that! We got kicked out!" he said with a smile. Ginny smiled as well as she came up from behind him and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her cheek against the back of his shirt. She almost wanted to bury herself in him forever.
"Colin gave me it," she said without moving her face. "I didn't even know he was there."
"Me neither..." he said, turning around in her arms so that he was facing her. "I was distracted by my company."
Ginny absentmindedly lifted her hand to his cheek, feeling the slight stubble against her hand. She gently pulled off his glasses and set them on the desk next to her. Her hand glided across his cheek and towards his eyes, gently tracing the outline. It seemed as though she was trying to take in his face, trying to burn the feel into her memory. She moved her finger from his eyes to his lips, gently tracing them. Harry ran his fingers through her smooth hair, and for what felt like an eternity, they simply took in the feel of the other's body heat against them.
A cold breeze flew in the open window, tugging them both back into reality. Ginny moved away from Harry and sat on the edge of her bed, then pulled him down next to her. Her bed was covered in a soft white quilt, silky against their skin. She gently eased herself into a horizontal position, and Harry followed suit. He pulled her so that she was leaning against him, their faces even on her pillow.
Ginny shivered suddenly, filled with emotion for what she knew would come. He lifted his hand to her face and traced a line down the side, gently taking in her beauty. His hand softly nudged her face towards him, and then their lips were touching. They kissed slowly and gently, exploring each other with their tongues.
Ginny gently untied Harry's tie and pulled it over his head while he gently kissed her neck. She moved her head so that his lips were on hers again, and their kissing became rougher, untamed. She rolled over so that she was on top of him as he began to unbutton his shirt, gently pushing the buttons aside. Ginny reached for the long zipper going up the side of her dress, but the feel of Harry's hand against hers stopped her.
He looked up into her eyes, removing his lips from her as he said, so quietly she had to strain to hear him, "Are you sure?"
And I know that I am
I am, I am the Luckiest
Those simple three words terrified Ginny, but at the same time, she knew... this was all she really wanted.
Ginny looked into his eyes as she pulled down the zipper all the way, exposing her pale, smooth skin.
"Harry, you're the only one I'll ever want. I've been waiting for this moment since the day I met you." She kissed him as she gently pulled off his shirt.
"I love you," he whispered.
She kissed him softly, and then, pressing her forehead against him, she whispered, "And I, you."
And then, it was only them. Sure, the world was still spinning, people were still fighting, children were crying, and others were dying, but that didn't matter just then. It was only the two pairs of lips, embracing, letting each other know they weren't alone. They explored each other slowly, enjoying the quiet between them, only broken by small gasps for breath and the sound of their kissing. They knew that this was only one night, that tomorrow Harry would have to leave, but they just didn't care. For this night was to be the greatest night either of them would ever have, a tender moment between two teenage lovers beneath the sheets.
And as Ginny reached for the candle lighting her room, she knew... Voldemort was still out there somewhere, but just then, it was just the two of them, in love in what felt like heaven. And with that, she blew out the dim flame.
I am, I am, I am
The Luckiest
A/N: I was feeling really romantic when I wrote this
chapter, since I was on a train moving through Verona, home of Romeo
and Juliet. I hope you all like it, it was by far the chapter I
struggled with most. I apologize if I messed up the song, I did that
all from memory. I hope you guys actually read the words to the song, it's my favorite one in the world. I mean, it just melts me. Ben Folds is seriously a genius, and I suggest any of you listen to him. That song, The Luckiest, is from his CD Rockin' the Suburbs. Buy it. Seriously.
Right now, things are really hectic, so it might take time between updates. I apologize. And anyone from my other site who's reading this, I promise that I'll update on there... well, actually, I can't say when I will. Spring Break is coming up and I'll be gone, then I get home and it's hell week with the play, and then I go to New York. I'll try to fit in an update sometime in there, though. Just hold your horses.
Please review.