Chapter Five
And I can't wait to write you a letter
For every day that I can't bear.
You can fill these moments with words like forever
but you gotta swear
Don't forget to remember me.
Harry and Ginny stood in front of the Burrow. The wind was blowing furiously and Ginny was cold, but for the moment, she couldn't feel it. Right then, all she could feel was heart break. They were alone out there, as Ron and Hermione had been inside for a few minutes, saying goodbye.
"I meant every word I said last night," Harry said, pulling Ginny to him.
"So did I," she whispered, as tears ran down her delicate face.
"I don't want to go," he whined, as though he were a small child being forced to leave a friend's house.
"I don't want you to, either," she said, her legs shaking as she hugged him tightly. If he were to move just then, she would have toppled over. It felt so right, the way he had to support her to keep her up. He was more than just her safety net. He was her legs, her arms, her body. He was the keeper of her heart and the only person to ever touch her soul in such a way.
Harry gently stroked her hair, resting his chin on top of her head. "I don't need to go," he whispered. "I could just stay here with you. We can live a normal life, we can get married, we can be happy. That's all we need."
Ginny laughed gently. "As fantastic as that sounds, we both know we couldn't ever be that selfish."
Harry groaned, tracing her back gently with his finger. "Let's be selfish," he muttered, his words disappearing into the wind. The weather seemed to be mourning just as much as they were.
"Last night was perfect," Ginny whispered into his chest. "I want nights like that for the rest of our lives."
"We will," Harry said. "We just have to wait."
Ginny lifted her head up and kissed him lightly on the lips. He kissed her back, harder, and before they knew it, they were kissing each other viciously, holding on to the little bit of life they had left in them.
"You're coming home," Ginny whispered into his lips. "You have to come home."
He nodded. "I will. I promise you, I'll come home." He smiled. "I don't think I've ever had a home to return to."
She looked up at him, her eyes shining with emotion. "You do now. Wherever I am, you'll always have a home."
"I love you," he whispered, causing her to start to cry. He pulled her to him tightly, hugging her with all his strength. "I'm going to come home to you."
Ginny nodded at him, wiping her own tears. "I don't even know where you're going..."
"We're going back to Godric's Hollow," Harry said, looking off towards the village. "There's some stuff I need to finish up there."
Ginny knew not to press. "How long do you think you'll stay there?"
"As long as it takes," he said, then looked back at her. "But the sooner I can get home, the better."
She smiled through her tears at him. "Write me as much as possible," she said, even though she knew he probably wouldn't be able to.
"I'll try my hardest," he said, then lifted her face to his. He kissed her lightly, and she smiled at him. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," she said, trying not to cry anymore. "More than you could ever know."
"Time to go, mate," Ron called as he and Hermione emerged from the house. The Weasley family followed, waiting to say goodbye.
"Promise me you'll return," Ginny cried quietly, not letting go of his hand.
"I'll try, Ginny, I'll try so hard," he said, holding her hand equally as tight. "Wait for me."
"Until the day I die," her lip quivered as he stepped away, saying goodbye to the others.
Then he, Hermione, and Ron walked out of the garden, towards the end of the road. They turned to wave goodbye to everyone, and Harry blew her a kiss.
She blew one back and mouthed "I love you."
He smiled, looked at her longingly, and mouthed, "I love you too."
Then, with a pop, they were gone. Ginny stared at the spot where they had departed from for a long time, crying softly, until her mum wrapped her arms around her and brought her back inside.
Ginny sat at the table as her mum poured her a cup of tea, her mind elsewhere. All remnants of the reception were gone, but Ginny knew she would never be the same.
Charlie stood up after an hour and three cups of tea, kissing his family goodbye.
"Bye Gin," he said softly, kissing the top of her head. She barely noticed he was there. "You've grown up too fast," he said with a small smile, and for a second, she was sure he knew about the night before.
But he just looked at her and said, "It'll get better, Gin. Don't worry."
Then he closed the door behind him and set off the same the others had.
Fred and George stood next. "No big goodbyes from us," George said. "We've got a long day of work ahead of us."
And they left the same way everyone else had. Suddenly, Ginny realized what had just happened. It was as if she'd turned ten years old again. She was an only child, and she was pining after The-Boy-Who-Lived. Except this time, she wasn't a child. And he was pining too.
---
After her brothers had left, Ginny walked up the stairs quietly. She didn't offer any explanation to her mother, but her mum understood. With each step, she felt as though her body was getting heavier, as though she had been filled with lead. After she finally reached her bedroom, she collapsed onto her bed.
She could still smell Harry on the sheets.
Tears began to pour down her face as thoughts began to whir through her head. Did she make a mistake? No, but she loved Harry, it was right. But what if he didn't love her? No, he did, he told her he did! Yeah, but he could have lied. No, Harry wouldn't lie to her, he was always so honest to her. Plus, he's not the kind of guy who would do that just to get some action. But did she really know Harry? What if she only thought she knew him.
Ginny continued to miserably puzzle the night before, until she drifted off into a dreamless, heavy sleep.
---
When Ginny awoke, her room was pitch black. She looked at the clock by her beside table. 1:36 am. Her parents would still be asleep.
She got up and pulled on her fuzzy robe. Even with the robe on, it was cold out, and her skin was covered in goosebumps. Noiselessly, she drifted down the stairs, avoiding the third step down from her floor, the one that creaked. She floated through the kitchen and out the door, into the dark night.
The yard looked different late at night. Everything was dark and scary, it seemed strangely empty. Ginny walked to the bench in the middle of the garden. The very same bench she had sat next to Harry on before the wedding.
The bench was slightly damp from dew, but Ginny didn't care. The cool water actually felt good against her skin. It somehow reminded her that she was still human.
She sat on the bench for a long time, staring up at the starry night sky. Her mind had the urge to ramble again, but she fought it. She couldn't think anymore. Right then, in her peaceful state of mind, she needed to just... be.
It began to rain slightly an hour after she had first sat down, jerking her out of her relaxed trance. She looked around. In the rain, everything looked a lot less mysterious. There was the wet patch of grass they used as a makeshift Quidditch field, there was the garden they had de-gnomed once a week during the summer. There was the table George had chipped his tooth on and there was the spot where Ron had killed his first spider accidentally.
As Ginny looked around at her history, she began to think about her future. Would she always be sitting in the dark rain, hoping Harry would come around the corner?
Then and there, once again catching the raindrops on her eyelashes, Ginny made a promise to herself. It really was time to start living her own life. She was more than just Harry Potter's girl. No, she was Ginny Weasley. She was ready to join this war.
---
The next morning, Ginny woke early. She walked downstairs to find both her parents deep in conversation. The second she stepped into the room, however, they both stopped talking and looked up at her.
"Morning dear!" Her mum said far too cheerfully as she got up and walked to the stove. "Eggs?"
"Sure..." Ginny said suspiciously as she sat down at the table. "What's going on?"
Her dad looked at her, opened his mouth, then closed it.
"Don't lie to me," Ginny warned. "I'm not a little girl anymore."
Mr. Weasley sighed. "That's what we've been afraid of." Then he looked up at her and added, "Ready for the truth?"
Ginny took a deep breath, then responded with, "Ready and waiting."
Her dad put down his fork. "Okay. The Prime Minister has been kidnapped, and Kingsley was found outside of the office... dead."
Ginny gasped and covered her mouth, eyes wide.
"It appears that he put up quite a fight. He tried to send for back-up, but somehow the signal didn't go out."
"No," Ginny whispered.
Mr. Weasley rubbed his temples then continued. "The painting that usually carries news between the two Ministers has been destroyed, and the Prime Minister's office shows no evidence of a struggle. After Kingsley was down, it seemed to be an easy ride."
Ginny looked down at the eggs her mum had just set before her. They swarmed beneath her eyes as tears began to form. She fought them away and looked back up at her dad.
"Are we still going by the truth policy?" He nodded at her. "Okay. Is Hogwarts reopening?"
Mr. Weasley sighed and began to rub the inside corners of his eyes. "No."
This time, Ginny didn't gasp or let out any emotion whatsoever. She simply nodded.
"And what should I do all year?" she asked.
This time her mum answered. "You should stay at home with me. I could use some help around the house."
Ginny shook her head. "No. I'm not going to sit around and do chores with the Dark Lord rising. This year can't be wasted, I need to learn to defend myself and those around me." Her voice was strong and sure, as though she had thought a lot about this before now.
"Actually," Mr. Weasley spoke up, "I think I may have an idea. You could possibly train with Tonks."
"Tonks?" Ginny asked, surprised. "Doesn't she have other things to do?"
"She's – er-- been removed from the field..." Mr. Weasley said awkwardly.
"Why?" Ginny sounded genuinely concerned.
Mrs. Weasley giggled. "They say she's lovesick. Her work's been slipping lately and they say it's because her head's in the clouds." She giggled again before adding, "You two will be a good match."
"I'm not lovesick!" Ginny said, blushing. "I'm perfectly fine."
Her mum snorted and looked away.
"Lessons with Tonks sounds fun," Ginny said to her father, as she shot her mother dirty looks. "When should they start?"
"I can ask Tonks at work today. I'll tell you tonight," Mr. Weasley smiled, before adding, "You really are all grown up, aren't you?"
Ginny's mind guilty flashed to the night before, but she pushed the memory back into her brain. "I guess I am," she said with a small smile.
Mr. Weasley smiled as he stood from his chair, tousling her hair in a way he hadn't since she was a little girl. "Don't grow too fast," he said. "You're our last kid."
Ginny smiled. "I'll try not."
The words would be her curse.
---
That afternoon, Ginny decided to go for a run. She used to run nearly everyday in the summer, but after her third year, she sort of got too busy to make time to run. She loved to, though, because it let her mind wander and she couldn't be interrupted by anyone.
She pulled on a pair of shorts and an old T-shirt of Charlie's, then pulled on the old running shoes that hadn't been worn for a few years. They were a tight squeeze, but she knew they'd stretch out as she ran. She carefully tucked her wand into her shorts, making sure that it wouldn't fall out. Then she pulled her hair into a ponytail and headed out. She stretched first, her muscles feeling sore and unused after so long in rest.
The first few meters were always the worst. Her body ached and screamed at her to stop, but she knew she couldn't. As her muscles got used to the pain, she fell into a steady rhythm. Her feet pounded against the ground and she could feel her pulse, almost in rhythm. The wind beat against her face and she let her thoughts wander out of control. She ran down from the Burrow and towards the Muggle village, happy that no one else seemed to be out so she could be alone. As she ran steadily towards the village, her mind inevitably drifted back to Harry.
She knew that they had left Privet Drive the day of Harry's birthday, and had gone to take their apparation tests. From what she gathered, afterwards they had headed to Godric's Hollow. On the way there, though, they encountered their first Death Eater fight. Six of them had apparated before them about a mile away from Harry's parent's home, and they had fought them as well as they could. Ron had even killed one, though accidentally. He had ducked when the death curse was shot at him and it hit the Death Eater behind him, killing him instantly. It was the first death they would come across on this crazy journey.
After stunning all the Death Eaters and binding them with rope, a group of Aurors appeared to finish the duty. The trio had continued on towards Godric's Hollow uninterrupted. They reached Harry's parent's house early in the morning, and had stayed around that area for nearly a week, without being attacked by Death Eaters. Harry had wanted to stay longer, but Bill's wedding was taking place and they had to return home.
Ginny wasn't sure why no Death Eaters had attacked them while they stayed at Godric's Hollow. She also didn't know why they had stayed there for so long, it seemed dangerous, although she did sort of have an idea. She remembered Harry telling them about Horcruxes, which were a part of Voldemort's soul. He had said something about each of them being formed after a murder he commits. Harry must have thought that he would find a clue to a Horcrux at his parent's house, since that was such a large murder in Voldemort's life.
The thing was, Ginny didn't quite agree. Voldemort wouldn't have had time to make a Horcrux directly after murdering the Potters, because he didn't even get to finish the job. That's where Harry had come in.
Whatever the reason, though, Harry hadn't wanted to leave Godric's Hollow, and she knew that's where they probably were now. She didn't have any idea how long they would be staying there, but she was worried. Because if Harry was on some wild goose chase for these Horcruxes, and he was somewhere where they probably didn't have any, he might be there for a long time, only prolonging the time it takes to kill Voldemort.
Not to mention the time it takes to come back to Ginny.
Ginny had reached the Muggle village by now. Each person she saw reminded her of something new, something she had tried to repress, and as she ran more, she began to cry, her tears mixing in with her sweat.
The man with the long beard made her think of Dumbledore, the death that no one had expected. Harry had told them all that Snape had done it, something Ginny just didn't understand. She didn't think Dumbledore could have made a mistake so large, he couldn't have missed something so huge. Ginny didn't understand it, and she just didn't want to try anymore. It hurt too much.
A young boy ran past her, chasing after a little toad, and it made her smile, thinking of Neville. She hadn't seen Neville for quite some time, and she missed his quirkiness. He always could make her smile with his clumsiness. But then she thought of his parents, such a sad story. Tortured to insanity, not even capable of remembering their only son. And the thought of Neville, trying to hide this from everyone in his life, it just made her want to cry harder. Neville didn't deserve that, no one did.
A man was stopped in front of her, taking a picture of a building across the street, and as she passed him, she smiled again, thinking of Colin. Colin was always so foolish, and he never did too well in classes, but he was so innocent. He saw the good in everyone. Then Ginny closed her eyes, remembering the story in the Daily Prophet a few weeks back. Dennis Creevey was found dead in London, apparently he had been at the park practicing his Quidditch when he got caught in the crossfire during a fight between Death Eaters and Aurors. From what she had gathered, Colin had lost his spirit. She could tell by the picture in the Daily Prophet, for the old happy Colin was replaced with a sad, mundane Colin, frowning and looking away from the camera, his own missing from the spot it usually sat in his hands.
Ginny's eyes were still closed and she ran straight into a man with blond hair and a cruel face. The man glowered at Ginny as she apologize, then simply shook his head and walked off. Ginny was reminded strongly of Malfoy. She felt a hatred surge through her veins at the thought of Malfoy, and it made her want to scream, want to hit something. If Malfoy hadn't gotten those Death Eaters into the school, Dumbledore would still be around and everything wouldn't be so miserable. Harry wouldn't be gone, Hogwarts would be opening in the fall, and everything would be the way it was supposed to be. Malfoy was an asshole, a traitor, and a prat, and Ginny hated everything about him.
As Ginny turned to run back to the Burrow, she realized that all these people had one thing in common. Every single one of them had a horrible, destroyed life because of one person, and one person only. Voldemort had made Snape and Malfoy Death Eaters, Voldemort's followers had killed both the Longbottom's and Dennis Creevey, and it was he who had taken away the man she loved. Voldemort was just a horrible force, out to destroy other people's lives simply because he could.
With each step, she found a new feeling rushing through her body. Sheer anger and hate, all of it directed purely at Voldemort. If he were to appear before her on this road, she would have fought him without a doubt, and she could have won, because just then, she had more hate in her body directed towards him than she knew possible. She could have taken on that asshole.
Ginny ran the rest of the way with one thought keeping her going. Harry was out there, and he would kill Voldemort. It wouldn't change the way things were and it wouldn't bring back those who were dead, but it would prevent more people from joining the list of people dead, and it would save the next generation, so that they didn't need to know such an evil existed.
Ginny slowed to a jog as she got closer to the Burrow, trying to calm down. She didn't want to spend the rest of the day in a fury, so she took deep breaths and thought back to Harry. Somehow, thinking of Harry always made her feel better, no matter what was going on.
Her mum was outside in the garden, and she waved at Ginny. Ginny waved back, but her heart wasn't in it. She had noticed something new, something that made her heart hurt. All the plants in the garden were dying, because of this horrible cold front. They were summer plants, and the weather lately hadn't been summer weather. The sun had been hidden behind clouds for so long that Ginny had forgotten what it looked like outside if it wasn't gray.
The Muggles had blamed the cold on something called 'global warming', but Ginny wasn't buying it. They had blamed the fog last year on that, and she had found that just as ridiculous. She figured both weather patterns were related.
She walked to her mum and sat down on the grass next to her, stretching again.
"Mum, do you think this weather means that the dementor's are done breeding?" Ginny asked as she reached for her toes.
Her mum sighed. "Ginny, you know I don't like talking about this sort of stuff," she looked up, and seeing Ginny's pleading eyes, she gave in. "Yes, I do think it does."
"Do you think they'll be attacking soon?" Ginny quarried. Her voice shook, because the thought of dementor attacks scared her more than any other kind of attack. To be without a soul... she shivered.
Her mum looked uncomfortable, but she answered the question. "Yeah, I think they will. I'm sure we'll be hearing about it in the paper sometime soon."
"What if they attack here?"
Mrs. Weasley looked up, aghast. "Do you really think we'd be foolish enough to not have prepared for that? These wards will keep out all sorts of enemies, dementors included."
"But wards can be broken!" Ginny argued. "You know what happened at Hogwarts, that could happen here!"
"Hogwarts was attacked from the inside. Unless you, me, or your father is a Death Eater, I think we'll be okay," she said with an air of finality, so Ginny dropped it.
"I'm heading inside," she said coldly as she walked away.
She was sick of the way her mother refused to talk about this stuff! As if ignoring it would make it go away. She acted like Ginny was still just a baby and couldn't handle this, but Ginny could handle so much more than she gave her credit for. She just wanted to be treated like an adult for once.
It was harder these days, with her siblings all gone and her father busy at work. She only had her mum for company, and it was getting a bit old. They were arguing more than ever before, and there was so much tension within the house. Ginny wanted to get out, to escape from it all, but she knew she couldn't. She had to stay at home like a good little girl and obey her mother's rules.
She hoped it would get better when Tonks got there. Tonks was always good at clearing tension. Plus, her mum was actually right... Ginny was lovesick, as much as she tried to deny it, and Tonks could help her realize how dumb lovesick looks.
That night, Ginny went to bed with a heavy heart and a filled up head. She was sick of thinking, but with nothing else to do these days, she couldn't escape her thoughts. She dreaded a whole year of just sitting around over thinking everything, she was so sick of sitting around while the world collapsed. She wanted to go out and fight, to go out and do something to help win! But instead she was caught in her house with only her thoughts and her irritable mother.
It took a lot for Ginny to fall asleep that night, but when she eventually did, her body thanked her. It'd been an exhausting few days.
A/N: Sorry it took so long. I went away for a few weeks, but I'm home now. I'll try to update once a week, but the play keeps me busy. And after the play, I'm going to New York for a week or so. So you guys just have to deal.
My normal site seemed to understand this better, but you guys are having issues it seems so I'll just tell you. The beginning chapter was 2 different flashbacks, sort of a prologue thing. The story actually begins in chapter 2, but the first chapter is just a look at what's to come. The second flashback with Tonks is coming up pretty soon.
Read, reveiw. Whatever.