Bastet and The Bastards,

"Dr. Granger. Dr. Granger. There's someone here to see you."

"Tell the bastard Ambassador that he can pick up his illegal, unearned commission from the Egyptian ministry AFTER I have finished cataloguing the finds and their significance. I will be damned if his greed interferes with my research. Use those exact words and make sure he knows that he cannot have ANY artefacts that I consider to be relevant to proving that the ancient Egyptian Gods were Animagi. He can only have irrelevant artefacts. If he doesn't like it then he can come and take it up with the Director-General of The Cairo Wizarding Museum. Make sure to firecall Ms. Skeeter about his interference too, get a quick quotes quill going on him, that should slow his glib gibberish for a second or two."

"Um, well…"

"Oh for Merlin's sake man, have you not gotten the hang of dealing with the slippery devil yet? Just take a professional stance and tell him that you are repeating a message from me, then repeat it. He won't fry you for being the messenger, he considers me too much of a nemesis to his greed to bother getting pissed at you."

"I believe your assistant was trying to indicate that I am not your anticipated visitor."

Hermione looked up from her microscope and allowed her eyes to widen slightly as she took in the sight before her. There stood a tall skinny bearded man, in bright green combat shorts, matching short-sleeved shirt and Jesus-sandals.

"Professor Dumbledore?"

She carefully secured her research and walked towards her former Headmaster, rubbing dust from her hands onto her slacks as she neared him. She held out a hand but quickly found herself pulled into a warm embrace. Upon release, she stood back and appraised the man before her.

"You have a plan."

"Is it that obvious?"

"We're not due another Dark Lord for at least forty years, you haven't visited me or any of my exhibitions or lectures since the end of the war…"

She smirked as Dumbledore visibly flinched at her words.

"which isn't like you. Therefore, you must have been busy. You are now here and I have been unable to contact Ron or Harry for the past day or so, which means that they are up to something and your presence indicates that it has something to do with you. Having been busy, you must have been busy at something and that something must be something interesting to both Ron and Harry, which outside of Quidditch, women and alcohol is fairly difficult to achieve these days."

She paused, thinking carefully.

"You rebuilt Hogwarts! Well, I'll tell you right now, I won't be beholden to that damned ghost, the Goblin rebellion is not the be and bloody end all of magical history and I won't give up my research and I will spend ALL my holidays in the field, not wiping the noses of the kids whose parents don't want them home."

Hermione began to pack away artefacts that had already been analysed, labelling each one with the destination of the museum or "Academic Property of the Granger Bastet Expedition"

"Are you always this direct Miss Granger?"

"Dr. Granger. I have a PhD in muggle history, a PhD in magical history and a PhD in Magically Assisted Archeology. I earned Doctor and yes, I am always this direct. I find it saves time. Is that a problem?"

"No no, not at all. You would be interested in a position at Hogwarts then?"

"Obviously I would, otherwise I would not have set out conditions. Is Binns still there?"

"Sadly Professor Binns moved on when Hogwarts was destroyed. I came to offer you the position of Head of History."

"Head? How so?"

"We have expanded the school somewhat. It is larger than before and incorporates several new buildings. There will be many more students…"

"Primary?"

"Dr. Granger, do you have much contact with Shaman Lovegood these days?"

Hermione burst out laughing and set aside her staple gun.

"We meet at the retreat each year."

Seeing the Headmaster's quizzical look, she expounded further.

"Harry owns an island in the Bahamas. Every summer, those of us that can make it travel out there for a couple of weeks and chill out together. I assure you that my suppositions are borne out of logic not lunar cycles. I assume Luna was ready for you when you arrived, was she already packed?"

"Yes, indeed she was."

"Not surprising, she usually books her plane ticket two months before we decide what date to go to the island. I hope she's in place of Trelawny and not as well as."

"Sybil will be returning to Hogwarts as well…"

Hermione snorted.

"Hmm. You would wouldn't you."

"Professor Trelawny was responsible for the prophecy…"

"And completely unaware of it. How on earth do teach that which you are unconscious of? It's like expecting a sleepwalker to teach relaxation. Well, never mind, when do you want me?"

"As soon as humanly possible. When does your dig finish?"

"Already done. I'm separating which artefacts I want to work on and which can go to the museum. It should take me a few more days to wind up the dig. I also have a personal matter to take care of and then I can be with you. Is that too soon?"

"Not at all. In fact you will be arriving slightly later than the other Professors, who are currently on their way to Hogwarts."

"Right. Well, I can't help that. I'll see you at Hogwarts in a few days time."

"Perhaps we could take tea together?"

"I wouldn't advise tea at this time of day Headmaster. I am afraid that I have much to do if I am to arrive at Hogwarts within a reasonable amount of time. I also have to castrate a bastard."

"Excuse me?"

"Figuratively, not literally. I am involved with someone who has lied to me about his identity. I believe he sought me out in order to get information about the artefacts for his father."

She sighed at Dumbledore's amused and interested expression.

"I got involved with the son of the current British Ambassador. He's told his father all about artefacts that I would prefer he never know about. His sole ambition is to line his ballroom with unusual magical l'objet d'art. I have a plan of my own, but I don't want to jinx it by inviting your estimation of my Slytherin-ness."