The Pekes and The Pollicles.

Harry stuck his head around his door and spotted Sirius' suitcases propped up outside the next door along. "Sirius! My quarters are immense. How big are yours?"

Sirius ducked back out of his room, a little overwhelmed himself, "I need more furniture to fill it. Did you get your workshop?"

"Oh sweet Merlin, did I get a workshop. He even kitted it out with the basic stuff that I need."

"One job just isn't enough for you is it Harry?"

"Luna"

"Hello darling. You're here too? I think this is specifically a Staff tower. There are rooms marked for Ron and Neville; Remus and Talia are opposite. It's nice to all be together though. I wonder if we get our own common room too."

"We do."

"Talia. Hey there. How do you know that?"

"'Cause I just found it. One wall devoted to each house – ugh. Anyone want to help me redecorate? Remus is talking about getting started on the curriculum, but I want to check out the Professors that we don't know. Hey, is Hermione coming?"

"Yes, but not for a couple of days. She needs to wind up both a dig and a relationship, so she dug her heels in. Not that it'll matter, she's probably written the curriculum already."

There were general murmurs of agreement. The sound of something crashing to the ground echoed through from under the door opposite. There were no wards up, so whoever had that suite must still be moving in too.

"Anyone know who's in there?"

"Nope."

"No clue."

"We could just knock and say hello."

"Aw Talia, where's the fun in that?"

"Or we could just stand here guessing all day. George Bush? Kermit the Frog? The Royal Family? Am I close?"

Remus appeared from around the corner at that moment.

"What's got you going?"

"They want to guess who has those quarters but they are too chicken to knock on the door and say hello."

"Ah."

Remus walked up to the door and knocked firmly. After a few uncomfortable moments a small head poked around the door.

"Daddy said 'See who it is.', Papa said 'for Merlin's sake, we haven't even unpacked yet and don't accept sweets until I tell you that the person is safe'. Are you safe?"

Remus chuckled, "Probably not. Are your Daddy and Papa home? We are all teachers here too and wanted to come and say hello, but if they are too busy we can call back later."

"DADDY! It's teachers, they want to say hello."

A tall man with a narrow goatee appeared at the door and ushered the child back inside. He seemed to be in his late forties, much like Remus and Sirius.

"Remus Lupin and Sirius Black isn't it?"

Reuben smirked at their confusion.

"I was two years above you in school, I was in Hufflepuff. Do come in all of you. I'm afraid that we are in the process of unpacking, so it's all a bit of a mess at the moment but I'm sure we could rustle up some tea."

Reuben ushered the group to the lounge area and went off to fetch some tea and warn his husband.

Left to their own devices, the Marauders Mark II checked out the room. The room was the epitome of family living. Elegant furniture crumpled and marked by years of childish exploration, a huge breakfast table inlaid with the relief imprint of homework, surrounded by mismatched chairs that were designed to be comfortable to each individual. It looked like the first thing that they had done was to hang their children's artwork on the wall, before they had even unpacked the candles. There were dozens of boxes of books and one long wall was covered with a huge built in bookcase just begging to be filled. A huge stuffed snake had been placed in front of the hearth next to an almost as large badger, curled up together.

Talia seemed impressed, "This is promising."

"Daddy and Papa though? What's that about?" questioned Harry.

"I would imagine that it means that they are a gay couple. Do try not to put your foot in your mouth too quickly Harry."

"Quite right Remus, I apologise."

A black shape shot over the back of one of the sofas and grabbed the badger that Sirius was absently stroking.

"Mine."

"I'm very sorry Miss. He is such a lovely badger that I couldn't resist stroking him. I didn't know that he was yours."

The little girl, not much more than five, narrowed her deep brown eyes at him and frowned. Sirius tried again.

"What's your name? And what do you call the badger?"

The little girl continued to frown at him. A larger shape leaned over the sofa towards the pair. Harry gasped and shook his head as if to check his vision. A slow silky voice cut through Sirius' contemplation of the child like being stroked with a razor blade.

"Her name is Madigan and the badger is called Huffy. Madigan this is Sirius. That man on the other side of you is Remus, these two are Harry and Luna. I'm afraid I don't know the other lady."

"Severus! Uh, this is my wife Talia. Talia this is Severus Snape."

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Lupin."

"Oh, it's Talia, please. You all went to school together didn't you? You're the one who made him the Wolfsbane."

"Indeed. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage."

Wrapping his arms around his husband, Reuben smiled his way into the conversation.

"Well, no-one can know everyone. I am sure that we will all get to know each other fairly quickly, especially as there are no distractions for the moment. I imagine Dumbledore intended for us to be here earlier than necessary, so that we could become comfortable with each other before the kids get here. Sorry, I missed the introductions."

Severus straightened up into his husband's arms without even thinking about being embarrassed. A little preparation goes a long way, he was ready for this.

"Ru, this is Remus and his wife Talia, Sirius, Luna and Harry. Everyone, this is my husband Reuben."

He ignored the shocked looks without so much as a curled lip. Good Gods, how much time had he spent on school rivalry, how trifling it all seemed now. Reuben tightened his arms around Severus' waist in silent support. They still didn't know how Sirius would react to the offered cessation of hostilities. Severus had been fairly certain that Remus and Harry would accept the new state of affairs. Well, regardless, Severus was prepared and there was no way he was going to be goaded, he would not let his children see that side of him, it was dead and buried. Sirius was gaping.

"Husband? You mean you're married to this guy? Since when are you a homosexual?"

"I have, obviously, always been gay. It is simply that I chose not to share that information. Reuben and I got married three months after the war ended. We had been seeing each other, on and off, since school and then everything just seemed to come together all of a sudden."

"All of a Moldy-fart free, no Crucio today kind of sudden. Funny that."

Reuben's comment would have gotten a bigger laugh in a less tense room. He could feel Severus' back knotting up with tension already; he seemed to be keeping his cool though. Reuben decided to continue the "hostage tactics" by making "his" Severus more real to them. The more they knew right now, the more likely this was to not end in bloodshed.

"We have five children. Would you like to meet them? Russ, why don't you go and get the kids."

Severus extricated himself from the bear hug and went in search of Snapelets.

"Five? You have five children? How the Hell did that happen?"

Reuben kept his face calm, determined that Severus' decision to end this animosity would come to fruition.

"Sirius, please? We are all mature adults, I am sure we can have an amicable conversation without you cursing within hearing of my children."

"Sorry."

"To answer your question, it mostly happened in the normal way. We decided that we wanted to have children. We thought about adoption and surrogacy but the child would either belong to one or neither of us. We would never see ourselves and each other in such children. We realised that we wanted 'our' children; Russ came up with a potion that he thought might do the trick. Well, you know how good he is at Potions; it worked and 9 months later, our eldest Owen was born. We had one child a year for five years. I would have liked a few more but Madigan's birth was pretty horrific, they thought she was dead at one point. It ended with an emergency C-section, which is heavy duty muggle surgery. We haven't talked about any more since, just glad that our family is intact."

Everyone was staring at the man in shock. Severus Snape's husband! Merlin, this was odd. Snape was being friendly, not simply avoiding confrontation but being open and communicative and ... normal. It was deeply disturbing. One of the governing laws of the universe had come unstuck. Remus swallowed some tea to coat his dry throat before breaking the silence.

"That's terrible. I'm glad that everything was alright in the end. Will you be caring for the children then?"

"Hmm? Good Lord no. They go to school, they don't need either of us at home all day when they won't be. Besides, Russ has always done all of that. No, I'm the new Deputy Headmaster, I'll be running the Primary School."

Sirius groaned. Snape was married to the Deputy Head. Snape managed to not only live freely but also find love, have a family and apparently turn into a nice person. He still held all the bloody cards. Well, he could use the ceasefire to stir things up a bit, see how long it took Snape to crack and snap back to the greasy bastard we all love to hate.

"Well, that's a job you won't get maternity leave from."

Reuben raised an amused eyebrow.

"Not that I would need it. Russ gave birth to all of our children. I do believe Albus included a maternity package should we decide to use it though, so we are covered."

Severus came back in with all five of his children in tow and promptly introduced them to the Marauders. Severus and his children all had impeccable manners; the children were actually uncommonly charming. The Slytherin streak of something below the charm was evident, but the Gryffindors were too shocked to see it yet.

Severus slumped into the sofa that Reuben was leaning on and leant back into the spontaneous neck massage that caressed him. He sat with his eyes closed in bliss as he considered what he ought to say next. He was unaware of the sensations that seeing their interactions made. To them, this was normal, life with love – to the Marauders it was mainly something elusive that happened to other less worldly people. Remus and Talia smiled at each other, genuinely happy for the couple, they were obviously meant to be together and that was a strangely beautiful thing to see. Maybe you had to have felt it, to be able to recognise it. The others did recognise it though, it was just bizarre that Snape should be the content loved one amongst them.

Sirius ran out of runway and launched without lifting the undercarriage.

"So did you become a Hermaphrodite or something? I wish I could have seen that."

Snape stiffened a little but his husband's hands massaged away the tension as soon as it appeared. A brief swish of his hand had his children scuttling back to their rooms, they had a strict language barrier that he would not allow Sirius to corrupt.

"No Sirius, I did not become a Hermaphrodite. I drank a potion which allowed any cell to be fertilised for reproduction, a kind of genetic obliviate coupled with the strongest fertility brew known to man. We conceived during normal intercourse..."

"...see, that's what I don't get. Two men can't have 'normal' intercourse. Do you mean that he took you up the arse."

Snape gritted his teeth and refused to succumb.

"Yes Sirius, taking me up the arse is exactly what he did. What he does every night. Taking me up the arse gave us five children and gave me too many orgasms to possibly count. When did you last have a really good orgasm Sirius?"

Reuben jabbed him hard in the spine. Damn. Severus had to regain his lost ground, quickly.

"I apologise Sirius. It was impolite of me to mock your situation. Retaliation never works, does it? I'm not certain what it is that you are unsure about. Perhaps you could enlighten me?"

It was the silkiest, smoothest, most charmingly insincere apology that Hogwarts had ever heard. Sirius goggled as Snape out manouveured him in 'niceness'. Now he looked bad. He'd been rude to Snape and Snape bloody well apologised to him for doing the same.

Severus realised what he had just said and wished that the ground would swallow him up. "I take it up the arse" was not one of the top phrases he would had chosen to mend the rift between himself and these men. Thank the Gods he had ushered the kids out at the word 'hermaphrodite'. That would not have made for a pleasant family memory. That thought more than any helped Severus to understand why he needed to do this. He would not have old animosities damaging his family.

"Very well then. Why not get it all out now? Let's see. I am the 'mother' of five children. I've been a 'housewife' for years, raising our children. I did it deliberately. Oh yes, I'm the 'woman' in the relationship and don't forget that I blurted on about orgasms, so you could work slut in there somewhere, I am sure. I promise not to retaliate, let rip. Get it all out and then my children don't have to hear it some other time – because as barren an emotional wasteland as I obviously am, you might believe that the children have feelings."

Beyond the silence Remus could be heard trying to keep his laughter in check. He had just been running through the list of things that Sirius might say himself and it was a very near match. Somehow Severus made it sound funny though, something in the tone of voice that made it all sound like the nonsense it was. Sirius was nonplussed.

"Okay then. Subtlety didn't work. Ignoring the issue didn't work. I am unwilling to get involved in juvenile slanging matches again, so let's drag this rotten carcass out into the light. One – Remus, I apologise for any and all malignment of your character and will happily provide you and, if I am not mistaken, your wife, with the Wolfsbane potion that you need. Two – Harry, you needed someone who didn't see you as "the boy who lived", someone who would push you and challenge you. I admit that my tactics were not the best. I do not mistake you for your father. Three – Luna, I cannot remember us having any specific issues but if you harbour any long-seated grudge against me, do let me know what it is, so that we can deal with it. Sirius, I think we need a whole new set of points for you. One – I never forgave you because you never apologised. I can accept that you didn't mean to try and kill me, but will not forgive what is not regretted. Two – I didn't keep 'this' up, we both did. You started it on the train, I retaliated and we have carried on ever since. We are as equally capable of stopping and growing up as we are of continuing out of habit. Personally, it would bore me rigid, especially as I seem to have found new ways to shock you. Three – if you cannot put our past aside, a petty past for the most part, if you look at it, then I ask you not to involve my family. You cannot use my relationship, my actions in creating a family or my happiness within it against me – it is not something which I feel any shame about. Let's not carry this into another generation. Four – Voldemort is dead and I WAS a spy. Hopefully my actions in the war made this clear. Five – I have made a decision to ignore your taunts, jibes, insults and pranks. You will not draw me into anything, so it will only serve to taint your own reputation. I hope I have expressed myself clearly because I have absolutely no intention of repeating myself. Now, would anybody like some tea? We were just about to have lunch."

So the Snape-Chancy family sat down with the new Marauders to the best lunch they had had in many a year. Not apparated from the kitchens but tossed together by Severus Snape in his own kitchen. The children were delightful, sly and mischievous. The adults were tentative and polite. It was not an easy meal, but perhaps it was an important one. As Severus rose to clear plates, Sirius motioned him to sit back down and moved to collect the plates himself. Luna immediately rose to help him and soon everyone was busily cleaning up together, leaving Severus at the table laughing with his children. Sirius was proud of his gesture. He had only ever offered to clear away for women who had cooked and he hoped that the gesture was neither missed nor misinterpreted. There was no way he would dare to imply, now, that Severus was the 'woman', but in some ways he definitely deserved a feminine kind of recognition. Oh well, Severus didn't look offended. In fact he looked incredible. He looked healthy and... ...complete, interacting animatedly with his children, making them laugh. Sirius watched as Reuben casually slung a leg over Severus' chair and sat behind him, cradling him to his body and smiling through a kiss at his children. If anything Sirius felt jealous. Okay, so the feud would end. Leaning across Reuben, Sirius' lips were almost touching Severus' ear as he whispered.

"Severus, I am sorry. Truly sorry and I should have said that all those years ago. We shall have to earn each other's trust but I am willing. For now – Truce?"

Severus smiled and casually accepted Sirius' hand across his shoulder.

"Truce!", he agreed. As Sirius stepped away, Severus turned into his husband's embrace and kissed him passionately. An "Ew Daddy! Papa!" drew the attention of the others. Luna looked amused, Talia held back an "aw", Harry shook his head and laughed softly and Remus smiled warmly all the way up past his eyes. Sirius felt a little lost and confused, he couldn't reconcile this image with his memory and he wasn't sure why it made him feel so empty. The tension returned to the room as Auriga walked in waving a bottle of Firewhisky, right in the middle of the kiss.

"Severus Snape. Slytherins are not poofs."

Silence descended for a moment before Severus burst out laughing.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Aury (Orry) but this 'poof' is definitely a Slytherin or you could say that this Slytherin is definitely all poof."