DOWN THE LOCAL…
A/N: Hey freaks! realises there's no one in room but self erm… how goes it? You may have noticed that this chapter took forever to put up, SORRY! I saved it halfway through making it… and surprise, surprise, it didn't save properly! Sorry bout that! This chapter mainly revolves around Cliff and Popuri, thanks for the idea…
Farmergrl 0319 (…Anna?) If anyone has an idea, please, put it in the reviews, and I'll try to fit it in somewhere!
Popuri entered the Inn crying. Everyone would have been extremely surprised to see this, as she was usually, well, in uncontrollable fits of laughter. Even more strangely, no one noticed her coming in (note the would have in the 1st sentence) because instead of sobbing out loud and crying the way she laughs, Popuri only sobbed softly and walked quietly to the bar.
No one noticed her; Mary was busy chatting up Basil (for the 6th time that week), Karen was busy in a sculling competition with Rick (whom had already blacked out 8 times), Ann was busy serving drinks and being annoyed at "Cliffie-wiffie" for leaving a speck of dust on her nice clean floors (this got Cliff severly depressed), and everyone else was just too drunk to note her existence.
Popuri just sat at the bar glumly next to Cliff. She took a sip of her beer, but, since she was new to alcohol, spat it right back onto Cliff.
"Oh my goddess, I'm so sorry!" she said, but, unfortunately for Cliff, this story defies all logical sense, meaning about half a bottle was spit out onto his face and chest (even though she'd just taken a tiny sip).
"Sorry!" she said again, this time spitting about 26 litres (that's about 104 times the amount the average mouth can hold) all over a less convenient spot on his pants.
She was about to say sorry again, when Cliff screamed "Oh, please goddess, do NOT say sorry until you've swallowed whatever's still in your mouth!"
She swallowed the tiny drop that was left in her mouth (it pissed Cliff off immensely when he realised that the story started making logical sense again AFTER the previous segment of the story) and was immediately drunk.
Hhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllooooooooooo, Cllliiiiiiiiiffieeeeee hhhhhhoooooonnnnnn, hooooooooowwwwwwwwww aaaarrrrrreeeeeeeee yoooooooouuuuuuuu dooooooooooooooiiinnn'?". "Oh crap, your drunk, aren't you?" he said unhappily. " A hic liiiiiiiiittllllleee hic", she slurred, before giggling quite loudly (which for her meant a sonic boom).
"Well, that just isn't fair! I'm always the one who's left out! Doug, give me 7 shots!" "You're the boss!" said Doug happily, knowing that now he could rob Cliff of all he had (even if it wasn't much) while he was in a drunken slumber.
While he waited for his drinks, Cliff remembered that now everything he was wearing was soaked with beer and Popuri's spit. He took off his shirt in an effort to not smell rummy (yes, I know he's soaked in beer, but still!)
Popuri also seemed to notice this "Heeeeeyyyy, Cliiiiiiiiiffiiiiiiiiiiiieee, yooooouuuuuuurrrr ssooooaaked toooooooo the booooooone, maaaan! Lleeeeeett meeeeeeee cllleeeeeeaaan thhhaaat uup fooooooorrrr yooooooouuu!
Popuri took off her corset (meaning all she was wearing on top was her conveniently revealing lingerie that Kai bought her) and started mopping his face, his chest, and then his pants… "Popuri?" Cliff squeaked. "Erm, Popuri, I think I'm dry enough now!" she stopped wacking her corset (extremely hard) on Cliff's pants, and started to sob.
"Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy, whyyyyyy wereeeee yyyyyyyooouuuuuuuu uuuuuuupppsssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttt bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb'ffffffooooooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee?" Cliff said, now just as drunk as Popuri after drinking all the shots in one go(strange how people's alcohol consumption levels vary so much, isn't it?).
"Oohhhhhhhhh, Kkkaaaaiiiiiiiii saaaaaiiiiidddd Iiii waas toooooo baaaaaaabyiiiish wheeeen heee fooooouuuuuund ouuuuuuut Iiiii diiiidn't knoooooow wherrrrrre baabiessss caaaaaammmmeee froooooooommmm, thhheeeeeeennnnnn heeeeeeeee… DUUUUUUUMPPPPEEED MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she cried. Cliff patted her shoulder and tried to console her.
(later)
Ann walked up to Cliff's bedroom, feeling sorry that she'd been in a bad mood before. She opened Cliff's door. And she screamed. Although they were still MOSTLY properly dressed (although Popuri had left her corset down stairs, and Doug was using it to wipe the tables with) she found them making out on his bed.
"Hhheeeeeey, baaaaaby, doooo you knooooww wheeeere babies cooooooomeeee frooooooooom? Coooooos Iii caaaaan shoooooow youuuuuuu tooooo…" was Cliff's drunken response to the look on Ann's face.
"YOU DRUNKEN SLUT!" Ann said, grabbing Popuri and literally throwing her down the stairs. "And you… get out of this Inn NOW!" she yelled at Cliff, who, sobering up just enough to know what was happening, staggered slowly out the door.
Ann sat down on the bed and cried softly. She knew that they hadn't exactly done more than kiss, but how was that even relevant? They'd broken her heart, and that was all that counted. But then she realised… they were never going out in the first place. Well, not officially. They had "done stuff together", but they hadn't actually dated each other. And they were drunk at the time… what if she'd just been imagining it? What if Cliff had liked Popuri all along? What if all this time she'd spent thinking they were together, they were just… friends?
Ann didn't sleep that night. She just cried softly on her bed until dawn broke.
A/N: Well, the ending was kinda sad, I guess. Now for the…
Thank yous:
Tikzch: Well, thanks a lot! You really are mean you know! Now, when you hit your head on the ground, I'm gonna get blamed for your murder… wait a minute, this could be good for my reputation… on second thoughts, thank you very, very much! (I was kidding, I bet you couldn't tell…) Oh yeah, and when I said that Mary's slutty behaviour would stop, what I MEANT was that it would merely be explained… heh,heh,heh…
PacificTwist: Thank you very much, another review is another reason to live for (as you've probably guessed, I don't have a particularly extreme, radical life…)
Greenfrie: Yup, that line was pretty entertaining, and I DO say so myself! (that wasn't even funny… wait a minute, that wasn't supposed to be funny anyway! Oh well…)
FarmerGrl0319: Ah yes, Anna (I think that's your name, I know because I've got psychic powers, wOOOOOOOO!) Thanks for the inspiration for this chapter! I love you for it (well not really… you know what I mean… I hope…)
Now, I better stop this A/N before there's more of it than there is actual story! Until tomorrow… I bid you adu (I have no fucking idea of how it's spelled… ah, I've effed at least once in this fanfic now. I feel at peace!)