A/N: Hi guys! Nothin to say. Enjoy!
Jack woke up in the morning around… woah, wait a minute… Jack checked his watch… it was 12:20 pm! And, conveniently, the song playing on the stereo (which no one could be fucked to turn off) was on the song "The Worst Hangover Ever" (and yes, this is by the Offspring).
Jack realised just how fitting the song was when he tried to stand up. He couldn't even get up, it felt like there was something holding to the ground…fuck.
Last time this happened, he thought he had de-flowered Popuri (not that that was a bad thing…) but when he looked down, he got a pleasant surprise.
All the girls of Mineral Town (yes, even Elli) were lying on top of him, wearing only their lingerie, which, for some eerie reason, had all been picked out by Kai.
He wasn't caring particularly about that at the moment. He was just extremely happy. But then he realised something… was someone missing?
"Elli…check, Popuri…check, Ann…check, Mary… check… oh, FUCK!" he yelled. The one girl he actually liked (not that he had any problem with the other 4 girls, quite the opposite…) was missing. He soon realised that he really shouldn't have yelled, because as soon as he yelled, he had a splitting head-ache. Not so much because of him yelling, but because…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he had awoken the girls of Mineral Town, and they did NOT look happy.
After a few extremely painful kicks in the face, he was left on the beach, wondering where the fuck Karen was, and whether she had anything to do with this. He looked up. And he instantly wished he hadn't.
There, next to Kai, was not Karen, but something probably worse. Her clothes. Jack panicked. He felt like crap. He couldn't believe it. He actually felt like crying, when… "ALL RIGHT, YOU LAZY ARSES, GET YOURSELF OFF THIS BEACH!" it was Harris. And he looked pissed off.
Everyone slowly started to wake up, wishing they hadn't. Everyone understandably had the hangovers from hell. Everyone except Karen. There she was, sitting happily on the beach, in her… clothes? Then… wait a minute… on closer inspection, they weren't Karen's clothes lying next to Kai, they were…
"JACK, ARE YOU A NUDIST OR SOMETHING! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NEVER WEARING ANYTHING!" Harris looked quite shocked.
"What the… NOT AGAIN! THIS STORY IS SO REPETITIVE!" Jack screamed as he jumped into the water to hide his shame. Karen was LHAO (Laughing Her Arse Off). "Huh?... you… YOU did this!" he yelled, looking at her, obviously horrified. "How did you guess?" she answered.
She thought for a little while, before another one of those devilish grins came across her face. "Hey Jack?" she said, innocently looking at him. He'd learnt to never trust her when she looked innocent. "Are you a fast runner?" "Oh no… oh no no no no no… KAREN, NO!" But it was to late. She'd already picked up his clothes, and started running.
He waded quickly out of the water, and started running after her. But she was extremely fast. She was already at Barley's old farm.
"WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOOD AT EVERYTHING?" "I guess it's an Aussie thing!" she yelled behind her. "… huh? Aussie? You mean like Austrian?" "No, Australian, fuck-head!" and with that, she turned the corner into the main town, while he was still trying to find out why the hell being Australian would make you a fast runner (in the end he concluded that Australians had to run from kangaroos or something on their way to work every day).
It was only after he had chased her around the whole town and she was heading for his farm, that he realised what she had done. She'd made him do a nudie run around the whole town. Well, nothing to lose now.
He was pretty worn out, but he was sure he could go that little bit faster… but as soon as he managed to get about a step closer to her, she accelerated to full speed. Dear goddess, he could swear she wasn't human. She cleared his whole fucking farm in 18 seconds!
It took him about half an hour! He finally got across his farm, practically having an asthma attack (and he didn't even have asthma!) he finally decided to go up the path to the mountain. He saw her waiting for him, looking kinda bored.
"Well, at least you answered my question. You're a terrible runner (and Jack had actually been a semi-pro athlete before he took over the farm!) Anyway, I wanted to ask you something. What do you think you did last night?"
"Well, obviously, let's just say I aint no virgin…" but he was stopped by Karen laughing. Popuri style. "Jack, you don't seriously think… this is just sad… I DARED them to do that… and it's not what you think by the way, your still as innocent as Popuri…" and then she smiled.
"Well, Jack, if you think your such a big player, I suppose you won't be needing these anymore", and with that, she threw his clothes off Mother's Hill.
A/N: Moral: Guys, just because a pile of nearly naked girls are lying on top of you, it don't mean you had sex!
ThANk YYYYYooooooouuuuuuuuuuSSSSSS:
PacificTwist: Thanks! Who knows, I may never finish this story, I may keep going forever… Ok, maybe not. But it's gonna last a long time, so you'll have to suffer it every day for who knows how long! Mua ha ha ha ha!
Signed,
Your wacky Aussie mate, Ella. (Oh yeah, BTW, we don't have roos hopping around everywhere, that is pure American or wherever-it-is-your-from-myth)