The song for this chapter is Angie by The Rolling Stones.
The next morning when Honey woke up, Happy was sitting by her bed. His dark eyes followed her movements as she stretched then sat up carefully, not wanting to damage the IV in her arm.
"Morning..." She mumbles as she lays back and looks over at him, smiling softly at the simple fact that he had come. He hated hospitals, she had learned it one night after a party when he had sat on the roof with her at TM and they had talked for what seemed like hours.
Happy softly grabs her hand, avoiding the IV wires as he leans forward. "Morning. The doc said she'll be in to unhook you in a few minutes."
Honey nods and sighs softly as she looks into his dark eyes. "I'm sorry." He doesn't respond as he looks down at the tattoo on her wrist. She bites her lip softly and murmurs, "Please don't hate me..."
He frowns, looking up at her as he brushes his fingertips over the pulse point on her wrist. "I don't hate you."
She relaxes a little then reaches over, grabbing his hand and lacing her fingers with his. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think about eating, I didn't even get hungry."
"You can't do this to yourself." He says quietly, his deep, raspy voice emotionless. A pang of guilt shot through her heart like an icy dagger.
"I know." She swallows hard, trying to sit up a little and sighing as Happy helps her, wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her up easily. "I promise, I'm going to try from now on."
"No more guys either?" He glances at the nearly faded bruises and she blushes softly, looking down. She cringes, the dagger twisting deeper as she realizes how her actions must have looked to everyone else.
"I can't promise that, but I will be more careful from now on." He nods slowly and they sit in familiar silence, his long, calloused fingers stroking her wrist as her own slimmer, softer fingers run across the back of his hand. "Hey, Happy?" She murmurs softly after a long moment of comfortable silence.
He glances up at her, humming softly. "Mhm?" She watches his tanned fingers move up her arm slowly, caressing her pale skin in an effort to comfort her; he knew she hated being in the hospital, especially if she had to get prodded with any needles.
"Thank you." It was simple but she knew he didn't need a long, drawn out speech. He wasn't that kind of man.
He stares into her eyes for a moment before nodding and leaning in, kissing her forehead gently just as Tara steps into the room. Honey smiles up at her, yawning quietly and running her fingers through her sleep tousled hair. "Morning, Tara. Are you here to set me free?"
Tara smiles and nods, casting a curious glance at the silent, tattooed man who had just stood up. "I sure am. Are you feeling better?"
Honey nods, poking the IV line with her nail and wrinkling her nose in distaste. "Much better. Unhook me?"
Tara shakes her head good naturedly as she steps over to remove the needle from Honey's arm. "For someone who is always talking about getting tattoos, you certainly hate needles."
"That's different though, tattoos are art. This," Honey gestures towards the needle as it comes out of her arm. "is modern medical technology and while I'm glad it helps so many people, I don't want to be one of them any longer than I have to."
Tara rolls her eyes as she tosses the needle into the disposal bin and tapes a cotton bandage over the spot where the IV had entered the young girl's vein. "You won't have to be one of them as long as you take care of yourself."
"I will." Honey murmurs, bending her arm experimentally and sighing in relief that she could move freely now.
Happy helps her stand up and hands her a stack of her folded clothes, making her glance at him in question. He shrugs, grumbling under his breath, "Thought you'd want clean clothes."
Honey smiles and kisses his stubbly cheek gently before walking slowly into the bathroom to change into the loose, faded jeans and her favorite Nirvana tshirt that had acrylic paint stains from art class.
-o-o-o-o-o-
"Whose are these?" Cherry lifts her hand up from the pile of laundry he had done the night before. Half Sack glances up from his phone, in the middle of texting Juice about Jax's instructions for this weekend, and his heart immediately begins to pound.
Dangling from Cherry's fingertips was a pair of Honey's lavender panties she had left behind after a quicky one night. 'I thought I gave those back to her...' Seeing the anger behind Cherry's hazel eyes, he clears his throat trying to decide the best course of action. "Uhm...an exgirlfriend's." He figured the truth was best since hiding shit had already cost him one girl. He and Cherry had done nothing but argue the past week, mostly over his cool attitude towards her and the fact that even though he was moving deeper into the club, he was a long way from being patched in.
"Why is it still in your laundry?" Her voice wasn't as angry this time so he took that as a good sign and reached out to grab the lacy material he had once admired on the very couch Cherry was sitting on now.
"I just hadn't gotten around to getting rid of them, I guess." He tucks the lacy panties into his pocket and sighs as he stands up, stretching tiredly. "I'm gonna go, some guys from other charters are riding in for the 4th of July and I gotta get some of the empty dorms ready and shit."
Cherry gazes up at him, her thin lips almost in a grimace as she murmurs, "Kip, we need to talk."
"I gotta get to work." He says, not letting her respond as he grabs his keys and walks out of his apartment, hoping she wouldn't follow.
-o-o-o-o-o-
After she had gotten dressed and signed her discharge papers, Honey and Happy rode to the clubhouse where most of the Sons were helping Gemma get ready for the barbecue she had planned for Friday. As Happy pulled into his parking space, Honey happened to glance up and see Half Sack walking into the clubhouse with his head down looking forlorn.
To her surprise, her chest didn't threaten to seize up when she saw him. She could still feel the pain lingering beneath the surface but she had come to some harsh realizations last night when she had woken up and laid awake for a few hours.
As she climbed off the back of Happy's bike, she gave him a soft, reassuring smile. "Go talk to the guys, Hap. Mom wants me to fix up some of the dorms."
"You sure you'll be okay?" His nearly black eyes search hers as he smoothes a few wavy locks of her hair away from her face, his brows furrowed in concern.
She nods, looking down as she takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. "I have to stop hiding because of my mistakes. I'll be fine."
He hesitates a moment but kisses her forehead gently before slinking off towards the garage where the guys were gathered. She bites her bottom lip, wringing her hands together slightly as she walks slowly towards the clubhouse knowing she was going to run into him.
When she stepped into the cool air of the clubhouse, she heard things being moved about and the soft scratching sound of the broom on the hardwood flooring. Peering around the doorway, she watches as he sweeps the floor slowly and listlessly, his reddish blonde hair a mess and his cheeks unshaven. 'He looks almost as bad as I do...
She accidentally lets out a soft gasp as he turns around and she sees the dark, puffy bags beneath his eyes. He swallows hard when he sees her, looking down at his boots as he clutches the broom in front of himself. "Sorry, Gemma told me to clean up..."
Honey nods, crossing her arms over her chest as she steps over to the bar to search through the cabinet of cleaning supplies. "I know...She told me to help since I left early yesterday."
He can't help but watch her as she crouches down and rummages through the bottles of cleaning solutions. Even through her baggy tshirt and loose fitting jeans, he could tell she had lost weight. He had noticed yesterday but the realization was only now sinking in. 'The bruises, the weight loss, the crying...all my fault. And for what? Cherry?' He held back his sigh, afraid Honey would hear and misinterpret it. Instead, he refocused his mind on sweeping up the dirt and dust that had accumulated on the floor as Honey began wiping down tables and the bar, humming quietly under her breath to keep herself company.
A few minutes of uncomfortable silence pass then Honey sighs softly and looks up at him, blowing a stray strand of hair away from her lips. "I'm gonna go start in the dorms..."
He bites his lip softly as he avoids looking at her, knowing any resolve he had made to stay away from her would break as soon as he saw the ghost of her sweet smile or sparkling emerald eyes. "Okay, you need any help?"
She shrugs, abandoning her cleaning sponge as she steps around the bar and smoothes the cotton shirt over her stomach where it had ridden up. "I don't know, but if I do I'll come get you."
He nods and she heads to the back, her heart pounding and her hands trembling slightly as she lets herself relax a bit. She was proud of herself for not doubling over and sobbing like she desperately wanted to. The black hole of pain was growing in her chest but she forced it down. 'If I want to show him I'm growing up a little, I can't be breaking down. Not to mention I promised Happy and Tara that I would try...'
Slowly she steps into the first dorm, seeing the dust and dirt that had gathered since its last cleaning and groaning softly, leaving the door open to air the room out a little as she began lifting boxes to sort through, perching on the edge of the bare mattress. She wasn't paying attention when she leaned over to grab one of the boxes and her foot accidentally knocked a stack of old car manuals over, sounding more like a herd of cattle than a stack of books falling.
Staring at the mess for a moment before sighing, she leaned down to pick them up just as Half Sack appeared in the doorway, face flushed and his eyes darting about wildly. "Are you okay?"
"Uh...yeah?" A soft blush colored her cheeks as she stood with some of the manuals gathered in her arms. "I was just being clumsy...are you okay?" She couldn't help but notice the blush on his cheeks as he avoided looked directly at her.
"I...uh...yeah. I just thought something had happened..." He crouched down and helped her restack the manuals, his cheeks still glowing red as she smiles slightly. He was worried about me...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." She replies softly before sitting on the edge of the bed and looking down at her hands clasped in her lap.
He nods, standing up and rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at the walls instead of her. "I uhm...are you..." There were so many things he wanted to say, wanted to do. He wanted to scream apologies until his voice was hoarse, tell her how kind and beautiful she is, how blind he was to not appreciate it. His arms itched to wrap around her and hold her close, listening to her heart beat and feeling her hair tickling his chest as they rested. "Are you hungry?"
Neither of them expected him to say that. Honey glances up at him for a moment, raising one eyebrow before shrugging slightly and mumbling, "I could eat..."
"I can make us some sandwiches if you wanted..." He's shocked when her head nods slowly and she stands up, gently brushing past him and giving him a slight whiff of vanilla.
"Alright. I'll finish sweeping while you do." His eyes follow her as she walks back out to the bar. When she disappears around the corner, he shakes himself out of the trance he had gotten lost in and heads to the kitchen to make a few sandwiches.
He returned minutes later to find Honey sitting on the couch, gazing blankly at the wall of mugshots with her legs tucked beneath her. "Honey?" He murmurs as he approaches her, a plate in each hand. She turns her eyes to him momentarily then blushes as she realizes she'd zoned out.
"Sorry..." She takes the plate he offers her and sets it in her lap, absentmindedly taking a bite of the sandwich. Almost immediately she frowns and he clears his throat nervously, his cheeks flushed.
"Chipotle chicken and lettuce...I remember you making them for your lunch, but if you want something different I can..." He trails off as her eyes begin to water as she looks up at him.
"You paid that much attention to me?" Her voice was small, as if she was afraid he was going to rebuff her. He frowns slightly as he nods, slowly and cautiously sitting beside her.
"I know I was a bad boyfriend and I have no excuses for it, but I loved spending time with you and watching you. You're different." He glances down at his own sandwich before daring a look up at Honey's face.
She was staring down at the sandwich in her hand with a soft, sad smile on her lips. "Kip?"
"Yeah?" He felt his heart flutter hearing her say his name.
"If Cherry hadn't come here...would you have actually made me your old lady?" Her voice had gone tiny again as she nibbled around the edges of her sandwich, keeping her eyes on her feet.
He sat up straight as he scratched his cheek, balancing his plate on his knee. "Honestly?"
"No, I want you to lie to me." The sarcasm was clear in her voice and he couldn't help but grin a little. 'Well, she's still spunky.'
"Honestly, I wanted nothing more than for you to be my old lady but I don't think you could handle it." She looked up into his eyes for the first time since they had sat down and he could tell she was offended. "Wait, wait, let me explain before you go off, please?"
Her cloudy green eyes closed slowly before she nodded, turning her head as she takes another bite of her sandwich. "Fine."
"You wanted out of SAMCRO before you met me. Could you honestly say that you'd be happy being an old lady? You're 16, and I knew that when we started this, but if I'm being honest," He sighs before looking away shamefully. "I was stupid. I didn't think about the consequences of what we were doing."
"What consequences?" Her voice was soft, almost comforting as he gazed out at the wall of mugshots.
"What if your dad had me exiled anyway when he found out? Full patch or not, all it takes is a unanimous vote and my ass is gone. We were riding on this fairytale that he was just gonna be fine with the idea that a grown man was fucking his only daughter behind his back as long as I was patched in." Half Sack sighs as he looks over at Honey only to find her staring at him with troubled eyes.
"You're right...I couldn't sleep a lot of nights withou you because I would have nightmares of you dying or them keeping you away from me." She sighs as she sets her empty plate aside and leans back, her shoulders slumping tiredly.
"You never mentioned that..." He mumbles, frowning as he brushes his fingertips against hers out of habit. She hesitates a moment before pulling away and shaking her head.
"Doesn't matter. It was only a few times." She mumbles and he sighs softly, looking down at his lap.
"Do you regret us?" He asked, afraid of what her answer might be. He kept his eyes on the faded denim of his jeans, his fingertips fiddling with the edge of his cut.
"That's a loaded question." She chuckles softly, discreetly brushing a few tears away from her eyelashes. "I don't regret us, but I regret how we went about it. It was my own fault though."
"How was it your fault?" He frowns, his interest piqued as he tries to understand more about her feelings.
"I confused sex with love." She shrugs simply, looking up at him with sad eyes that tugged at his heart. "I guess it's only natural considering I grew up around the club and the croweaters but I thought that if I fucked you, everything would be better. I was scared that night, Kip, and I let it control me."
"But that wasn't your fault, Honey. I should've said no, I knew you weren't completely ready." He sighs, feeling like more of an asshole than ever.
"You're 23 and you had a girl grinding and kissing on you, plus we were both stressed and tired. I don't blame you, Kip. I just think if I hadn't rushed into it then we would've lasted longer." She ran her fingers through her hair, her sleeves riding up to show the barely there bruises on her arms.
"Can I ask you something?" He asks softly, his eyes stuck on the finger shaped yellow bruises.
"Yes, but I reserve the right to refuse an answer." She murmurs, smoothing her hair back away from her face before looking up at him.
He bites his lip softly before running a finger over the bruises. "How did you get these?"
She tenses up immediately before forcing herself to relax. "A guy I hooked up with. He was rougher than I expected."
"You...hooked up with someone?" He tried to swallow past the icy blockage in his throat but found it difficult. 'I must be the biggest hypocrite in the world.'
"Yeah." For a second, her eyes turn nearly black as she looks up at him. "Almost like you hooked up with Cherry. Only difference is I only fucked him for one night, you still have your whore."
'I deserve that.' He sighs as he looks down and nods. "You're right, I don't get to be angry."
It was her turn to be surprised now. "Yeah...yeah, you don't." She frowns softly as she looks up at him.
"I was always afraid of hurting you or scaring you away." He revealed, his fingers still touching her bruises gently. "I didn't want you to think I was fucking you like I thought you were a whore or something."
Honey bites her lip softly as she watches him for a moment before speaking. "Kip, why couldn't you talk about all this when we were together?" She frowns at him as she props her head up on her hand.
"I don't know...I didn't want to...I thought that if I talked about it, it would break the fantasy." He admitted guiltily. "I just wanted to be with you for awhile before something ruined it. Should've known it would be me who ruined it." He laughed bitterly and humorlessly, standing up to toss their foam plates in the trash bag behind the bar.
She stayed silent for awhile before standing up and walking towards the bar, her face a carefully constructed mask. "Let's finish cleaning. I still have to clean around the bar."
He nods, grabbing the broom and heading over to the pile of dirt he had swept up before and not thrown away yet. Neither of them spoke for awhile, lost in their own thoughts about the revelations they had both shared.
The only sound in the room was the radio playing classic rock on the end of the bar. When they heard the announcement that the next two songs would be by The Rolling Stones, she reached to change the station at the same time he reached to turn it louder. They stared at each other with their hands outstretched, nearly touching, as the opening of Beast of Burden played.
"You don't like the Rolling Stones?" He asks, raising one eyebrow in curiosity and frowning when she shakes her head.
"Nope, I don't." She shrugs as she returns to organizing the bar shelves, leaving him to lean on his broom and watch her, the music playing softly in the background. "Rolling Stones and AC/DC, never could stand either of them."
"You don't like AC/DC?" His frown deepens as he sees the small teasing smile on her lips.
"Nope, I think Brian Johnsons' voice sounds like a cat getting raped." She shrugs, glancing at him innocently as she turns back to the bar.
"Blasphemy." He jokes, glad to see her smiling after their talk. "C'mon, there has to be a Stones song you like."
She shrugs, resting her elbows on the bar as she rests for a moment. "This one is alright, but a lot of them I don't like the sound."
As Beast of Burden comes to an end, another begins and he stands up, propping the broom up against the table. "Dance with me, Honey."
"Why?" She frowns slightly but stands up, watching him turn the volume up a little.
"Just trust me?" He pleads with his eyes, holding his hand out to her and nearly cheering when she slips her hand into his.
They sway together softly, his hands on her hips and hers clasped behind his neck as he softly sings along.
"Angie, you're beautiful
But ain't it time we say goodbyeAngie, I still love you
Remember all those nights we cried
All the dreams were held so close
Seemed to all go up in smoke..."
She didn't notice her eyes were watering until the first tear splashed down her cheek. Half Sack gently wiped the tear away before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers tenderly. She immediately pressed against him, the prospect that she was actually losing him seeming all too real in that moment. They kissed until the song ended, tears pouring from her eyes as they swayed softly together, holding each other closely.
Finally, when she pulled away for breath, she immediately stepped back. "I uh...I need to go." Before he could respond, she was gone and he was alone again in the clubhouse, surrounded by her soft vanilla scent.
As he turned to sit at the bar, more conflicted than ever, he heard a voice call out from the doorway. "Fucking teenagers now?"
o-o-o-o-o-o
Honey walked herself home, cursing herself for not getting the Xanax prescription filled earlier. It was pushing 7pm now and she knew the pharmacy would be closed by the time she got there. 'I need to calm down before I have another episode...' Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could still feel the warmth of his body against hers, the soft mintyness of his lips moving against hers.
Acting on autopilot, she climbed into her car when she got home and began driving without a clear destination in mind. What felt like hours went by before she found herself parked in front of a familiar blue, two story house. 'I promised Happy that I would try, but I never said I was going celibate.'
She could see the red Jeep that belonged to his parents parked in the driveway and she let put a soft sigh as she walked up to the door. 'His parents like me, it'll be fine.'
She knocks twice then blushes when the door opens to reveal his mother, a tall, curvy blonde woman with a caring, albeit slightly dopy smile. "Oh, Honey! It's been so long!" She wraps her arms around Honey, hugging her tightly and sloshing her glass of whiskey slightly, splashing it onto the porch step.
"Hi, Mrs. Lovely." Honey smiles, the womans' friendliness relaxing her a little as she glances into the house before pulling away from the embrace. "Is Justin around?"
"Mhm," The older woman takes a sip of the amber colored liquid in her glasses before pointing to the makeshift garage shed a few feet away from the house. "He's been in there all day,"
"Thanks." She smiles at the woman before hurrying toward the building. When she gets there, she steps inside quietly and sees Justin wiping his tools down and whistling softly to himself. "Hey."
He glances up and smirks slightly. "Hey. Back for more?" He turns, shutting the tool chest as he leans against it with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Maybe." She smirks at him, slowly walking towards him until she's rubbing against him, her tongue darting out to moisten her dry lips.
His smirk deepens as his hands slowly run down her back, over the swell of her ass, and then tighten around the back of her thighs and pull her up. She wraps her legs around his waist, feeling his hardness growing against her stomach, trailing open mouthed kisses down his neck as her fingers deftly unbutton his shirt, her hips rocking against him with a need she hadn't known she possessed.
"Damn, Honey..." He grunts softly as he turns, plopping her onto the workbench and undoing the button and zipper on her jeans. "You sober?"
She nods wordlessly, lifting her hips so he can pull her pants and panties off. His shirt soon joins them on the floor and as he reaches into the tool chest to grab a condom, she slips her hand between her thighs to toy with her moist clit. "Make sure the door is locked, your mom knows I'm out here."
He nods, his eyes never leaving her hand as he hurries over to the door and locks it, then turns the stereo on, rap music blaring on high volume as he returns to her, licking his lips as he watches her slim fingers move in and out of herself. "Fuck, Honey..."
"You gonna fuck me or are you just going to watch?" She murmurs breathily, her eyes half lidded with lust as she watches him rip the condom open with his teeth and roll it on.
"I'm gonna fuck you until you scream, Honey." He smirks as she pulls her hand away, spreading her legs wider for him as he presses the tip of his cock against her forcefully.
"Please do." She moans softly as he grinds against her, then shrieks quietly as he thrusts into her in one hard move. "Fuck, Justin!"
He smirks as his hand tangles in her hair, yanking her head back before his lips attach to her neck, leaving a huge red hickey as his hips pound against hers. She gasps and moans loudly, letting herself get lost in the pleasure as her nails leave scratches down his back and biceps. In her mind, he was no longer a blonde haired stoner, he was her reddish blonde, blue eyed prospect.
She's forced back into reality as he pulls out abruptly. "Dude, what the fuck?" She pants as she sits up, glaring at him as he steps back, a frown marring his sweat glistening face.
"Who the fuck is Kip?"
Sorry about the delay in the update, my dad has been in the hospital and I haven't had the time nor the motivation to write really, but I hope to update more frequently now. Thank you everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed and I hope you comtinue reading!