A/N: Sorry for being such an arse. And not a small, baby's arse, but a whopping huge brickie's arse. I've left you like 2 whole days without a chapter. Anyway, enjoy!
Karen lay on her bed. Why the fuck hadn't farmer boy told her who he was? "He said he didn't know until then, dumbass!" her conscience told her.
"It wasn't his fault, it's your fault as always! His only crime was being a man, that's why he was such a jerk at the beach before, your only punishing him because your scared, your scared of loving someone… well fuck you! I'm not being anyone's conscience if they can't even love… I'm outta here!" and that was how Karen came to be so ruthless, so uncontrollable, she longed for punishment.
Her heart yearned for mending, but she decided she wouldn't give in to that urge. Her name was Karen, her game was rioting. That's how she decided it was gonna be. Especially since she had no conscience (it was on holiday in Australia, wondering why the fuck it was 120 degrees Fahrenheit in winter).
Jack saw a flash of white as something reared the corner and headed towards the farm. At first he tought it was a giant white dove, but found out it was something far more beautiful… and dangerous.
Karen rode towards him on the horse she'd "borrowed" from Barley's ranch. It was beautiful, just like her. A white untameable beast, Barley had actually left it outside with a sign saying "STEAL ME" in big black letters hanging on its neck. Karen didn't know why, maybe because they were so alike, maybe because they wanted the same thing, but for some reason, the horse had been perfectly obedient around her.
She seemed to enjoy the attention of the local bad girl, and she loved doing anything rebellious it seemed. She cantered happily down the road, feeling great. No one had taken her out for a ride since… ever? Stupid fucking Barley, too old to simply hop onto a horse's back. But now she had Karen, she knew they could do whatever they pleased. Karen had given her a name, too. Epona (Zelda, anyone?) was the name she'd given her, and she liked it.
(ANYWAY!) Jack saw it come towards him. It was extremely fast, as fast as Karen… it WAS Karen!... but, wait a minute, was she… riding a horse? She was! It was a great beautiful mare, glorious and perfect, just like Karen.
It seemed to also have the same confident arrogance that Karen had (Wait a minute… fuck, I'm off track again!) as they came closer, he saw Karen was wearing the bikini of evil. But he didn't see them for long, as they zoomed past. Then he suddenly realised… they'd nabbed his basket… which was FULL OF PINAPPLES!
"OI!" Jack yelled, running after them as fast as he could. "TRY AND CATCH ME NOW, BITCH!" Karen yelled behind her, waving goodbye. She took the top half of her bikini off, and started twirling it in the air. "Jack just stared in amazement as the horse bucked upwards in glee, Karen laughing all the while, and cantered off into the distance.
The whole town was worried, as Karen had stolen all of their "Sentimentally valuable possessions" (in other words, loads of crap). "She stole my TUTU!" Rick cried out, before being quickly set on fire by an imaginary ciggy lighter by Mary (which for some reason worked, because I said it did) because Karen had stolen her real one (and they only get imported to Mineral Town once a year). This has got to stop! Someone yelled, and everyone just scratched their arses and said stuff like "Yeah, s'pose so". "Let's kill her!" "Yeah!" everyone agreed, and the crowd started to chant, "Kill her! Kill her, Kill, her!"
Jack woke up. He had had a pretty damn weird dream. "Wait a minute," he thought, "why did Mary have a cigarette lighter?" "Because she smokes, dumbass" said a voice from behind him.
A/N: Well, in my opinion, that was, how you say, one fucked up piece of shit. BTW, I don't actually know that much about horses, but the sick little leprechaun in my brain does, so, yeah…
FANK OOS:
Farmergrl0319: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!... I DON'T THINK IT'S BEEN THAT COLD OVER HERE SINCE, LIKE… 1259 B.C!
Tikzch: Yeah, your fanfic is cool, keep going!... Oh yeah, and I forgot to say in my review, isn't Karen supposed to be the oldest girl in MT?
PacificTwist: That's great! This chapter's pretty fucked up though…
Keep RnRing… if you can be screwed…