Okay chapter no.2, only had 1 idea from a review, come on guys you can do better than that!
After leaving the extremely disturbing flat scene our view returns to the sky, well an aeroplane in the sky, well Cid's plane to be precise…
Cid took a long draw on his massive fag and finished it in one. The resulting cloud of smoke was observed by the Midgar fire station and all squads were sent out while half the city burnt down in their absence, but hey that's irony for you!
Life was going great for Cid, flying at top speed, 300 boxes of newly made cigarettes in the back, and a night club um, yes… that will do, to look forward to.
Just then the wind wrestled his latest cigarette out of his hands and forced the burning bit into his eye.
"HOLY SHIT!" Cid screamed, nearly rivalling Cloud, "IT FING BURNT MY EYE!" As always Cid's perception was unrivalled.
The plane went into a steep nosedive, nearly obliterated a little old lady(there always has to be a little old lady, how she was 3000 m up we'll never know) and crashed straight into Sephiroth's castle.
Meanwhile, in the slums…
"STOP IT!"
Guess who? That's right first time as well.
Cloud was being dragged along by Aeris, while Red was sniffing at his crotch.
"HEHE IT TICKLES, STOP IT" Cloud screamed, enraged.
"And he thinks I'm sick" Aeris sniggered.
Aeris let go, and sat down on one of the gigantic heaps of rubbish which seemed to have an impassable barrier surrounding it.
Cloud immediately thumped Red over the head, Red wagged his tail and started sniffing the ground until his mind caught up, and he collapsed in an unruly heap.
Cloud got up slowly and sat down with Aeris, the whole pile of metal immediately compacted and sank a few feet.
"SO IF WE HAVE TO BUY HIM A PRESENT, WHAT WILL WE GET!" Cloud asked.
"Well I could get him some of my flowers!" Aeris suggested brightly.
"UM, ARE YOU SURE THAT'S WISE?" Cloud said, uncomfortably.
"What do you mean?" Aeris asked, totally puzzled.
"IT'S JUST THAT YOUR FLOWERS ARE KNOWN TO HAVE SOME ER, VIAGRA LIKE QUALITIES." Cloud muttered.
"Oh that!" Aeris waved expansively "That's nothing to worry about!"
"AERIS THE LAST MAN YOU GAVE A FLOWER QUICKLY PUT ON TEN FEET AND HAS SINCE BEEN ABLE TO SATISFY A BLUE WHALE, AND THAT WAS JUST BY SNIFFING IT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" Cloud screamed.
"Okay maybe not a flower Mr. Grumpy" Aeris said lightly
Cloud swore her purpose in life was to annoy him.
Just then a sprightly Easter bunny skipped past. Cloud turned to a tirade of growling, Red had spotted it too. Reds normally sweetly confused expression had been dropped and his massive fangs were clearly visible beneath the tsunami of saliva.
The Easter bunny had seen it as well.
"Oh bugger!" It cried and sprinted towards the nearest tree, unfortunately this was three miles away.
Red shot passed like a red hairy torpedo (no more description or we'll go even further into the dodgy area).
The Easter bunny managed two and a half miles before Red caught it up and mauled it.
Cloud didn't move, the background carried occasional growls, cries for help, and downright grisly sounds.
"I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM SO WORKED UP" Cloud stared.
"It was probably the fluffy tail, he hates those" Aeris observed thoughtfully.
Meanwhile, in Sephiroth's slightly demolished castle…
Cid miraculously stepped out of the rubble, rubbing his left eye and cursing whenever he had the opportunity.
"Oh bugger" he whistled and lit another fag(where this came from was a mystery).
Sephiroth sidled through the wreckage.
"I d-d-d-demand to know w-what's going o-o-on" Sephiroth demanded (don't ask me alright!)
"Oh shut up Sephy boy!" Cid turned
Sephiroth was slightly put off, firstly because, before he had developed the stutter, everyone had either grovelled at his feet, or lay at them, disembowelled, a short time later, and secondly no-one had ever called him "Sephy boy" before.
Sephiroth quickly drew his twelve foot sword, staggered slightly, and as the French say castrated him (or is that English hmmmmm…).
Hey there we go chapter no.2, a bit shorter I know but I'm low on inspiration, look out for chapter 3 soon!