Chapter 54

Stringfellow Hawke decided to check on Airwolf early in the morning to ensure the chopper was secure. Much to his dismay he found Sergeant Rizzo snooping about the helicopter. He called, "Find anything interesting."

Rizzo had pulled back the netting and was peering inside Airwolf through the glass. He noted, "The doors are locked."

"I know." he replied not amused. He walked up to the man and gave a displeased look.

Rizzo mentioned, "You can store it in the motor pool. Be safer than out here."

String crossed his arms and shifted his weight as he gave a stern look to the man.

He held up a hand, "I wouldn't open it. I know it's top secret."

String growled, "Get out of here."

"Just saying." He then quickly walked away wishing he could have had time to pick the lock and take a good look inside the advanced helicopter.

String fixed the netting rather miffed. He already caught the Sergeant cheating at cards and now he caught the man sneaking around Airwolf. Upon fixing the disturbed camouflage he spied Sam coming to the chopper next.

Sam arrived, "Morning! How did you sleep last night, Uncle String?"

He confessed, "Dom sent me to the Swamp for a reason. I now what the reason is."

"And?" she asked.

"Those three doctors are insane. They drive each other crazy." he told her. "Half the tent is a mess. Winchester is a snob and Pierce is a little nuts. Hunnicutt is okay. He has a wife a kid. He was showing me pictures of his daughter last night." He asked, "How did you and Cait do in the nurses' tent?"

"I got to hear all about Pierce and how he's the camp flirt. How jealous they are of Klinger's outfits. How Major Houlihann scares the nurses half to death, how cute Radar is and all about the pilots that fly wounded in an out of camp. Apparently, Grandpa Hawke and Great Uncle Dom are a catch." she reported. "Oh, and Major 'Hot Lips' Houlihann has the hots for you, String."

"I could have a good day not knowing all that." he confessed. "Make sure you lock up when you are done. I caught Rizzo trying to see inside this morning." He handed her the door key. "Be careful." he requested.

"I will," she assured and took the key.

String gave a nod, "See you this afternoon." He paused and asked, "How was breakfast?"

She shrugged, "Not bad. Had eggs, toast, bacon…"

"Any problems?" he wondered. "With Winchester?"

"He tried to get information on Bell Aviation out of me." she told him. "What happened to Bell anyways?"

"They went belly up back in 1960. Lockheed gobbled it up." he informed.

"Oh," she nodded and puckered, "Maybe I should tell him to buy stock."

He asked, "Why?"

"That way he would go broke." she mentioned.

He stated, "Millennials." He then walked away leaving Sam along with the bird.

Few Hours Later

The company clerk made his way just out of camp to gather Sam for lunch. He approached the side of the chopper upon seeing the door was slid open. When he got close enough to see inside he shut his eyes tight, covered his them with his hand and called, "Lieutenant!"

Sam was sitting inside with her laptop at the engineer's station. She looked out and found the young man with his hand covering his eyes as he stood outside the door. She closed the laptop for she figured that technology was the one thing she didn't want anyone to see. "It's okay, Radar. You can open your eyes."

"I can?" he asked still keeping his eyes closed tight.

"You can." she assured him with a slight giggle.

"Oh'…" he slowly opened his eyes and could see inside the forbidden top secret helicopter. He tired to not look as he stated, "I come to tell you it's lunch time, Lieutenant."

Sam found his innocents rather charming. She grinned, "I'll be there soon."

He still tried to look away, "Okay then."

She offered, "You want to see inside?"

He asked, "Am I allowed? Will I get in trouble if I do?"

"You won't get in trouble." she soothed him.

He stood nervous, "But it's top secret."

"That's what they tell us when they don't want us asking questions." She stated. "You can come inside. I'm inviting you."

"But the Colonel…" he hesitated.

"He doesn't own it. My family owns it." she stated.

"Your family owns it?" he cocked open an eye. He came closer to the door and peered inside. "Oh' wow!"

She waved him, "Come on in. I'll give you a tour."

Radar stepped inside the futuristic chopper unsure what he would find. He found it was full of gadgets, buttons, toggles and gauges. He looked to the cockpit and the pilot's chairs. "Oh…wow!" he gasped wide-eyed.

Sam motioned, "Have a seat."

He gulped, "Am I allowed? I don't know how to fly."

She laughed, "It's off! We're noting going to fly." She slid down in the pilot's seat and watched Radar's amazement.

He sat down in the co-pilot's seat and looked around. It was overwhelming for him at first. "So many buttons and switches." His hand grasped the yolk. It wasn't the stick that he saw in the MASH choppers. It was molded to fit his hand and had a trigger attached. "Is this a trigger?" he wondered.

"It is!" she nodded. "Airwolf's not armed but it can be. There are no operational weapons systems."

"Oh' wow!" he repeated wide-eyed. "Guns on a chopper." he gulped.

She observed how he looked over the controls after removing his hands as he was afraid something would go off. She reached behind the seat and grabbed the helmet. She handed it to him, "Put this on." She then powered up a battery.

Radar removed his glasses and then put the helmet on. It was completely dark, "Am I supposed to see something?"

She threw another switch and the inside of the helmet lit up. He could see outside and had what appeared to be weapons sight before him. "Oh' wow!" he gasped again.

"It's called a 'head's up' display." she told him. "It's how the pilot's fly."

He turned his head and looked about. "This is neat." He then took the helmet off as Sam powered it down again. He handed it back to her. "Thanks for letting me see inside. I wasn't sure what was in it."

She asked, "Is it what you thought it would be?"

"I didn't think about what it would be like." he confessed.

She stood up and motioned, "I'll show you the engineer's station." She then sat down at the station and powered up the display.

Radar followed and before his eyes the bright blue screens came to life. He remarked, "Looks like a television screen but much smaller…and is blue."

"It basically is a television screen but made much smaller." She informed. "Navigation, weapons systems, radar, jamming, communications…"

"You have radar in the chopper?" he asked.

She nodded, "We have radar and can jam radar to look invisible."

"Oh' wow!" he gasped. "How did you get such a big antenna in such a small space?"

She replied with a laugh, "We made it a lot smaller." She then powered down the displays and went to a compartment. She dug through and retrieved a MRE. She grinned, "Captain Pierce otta hate this one."

"What's in that bag?" he wondered.

"A ration." she cheered. "Menu 3, chicken with noodles."

Radar stated, "That sounds pretty good to me."

She shook her head, "It's not. Come on!" She led him out of the chopper and slid the door closed. She locked the door and placed the key in her pocket. She then put the netting back to conceal with Radar's help. Soon the pair were walking back into camp.

Caitlin emerged from the recovery ward with a few nurses. She spied Sam walking back into camp carrying the ration. She walked over, "Sam! How did it go?" she wondered if they were any closer to going home.

"Still got a ton of work." she sighed. She asked, "What were you doing in there?"

"I volunteered to help out with the patients." she explained. "Something to keep busy."

"I see." she nodded.

Radar remained tightlipped for he feared he could get Sam in trouble for she let him see inside Airwolf.

Caitlin asked, "What's with the MRE?"

"I'm giving it to Captain Pierce." she grinned.

"He complains about the food here and this is not that bad." Caitlin reminded her. "What are you giving him?"

"Chicken and noodles." she grinned amused.

"That one is awful." she recalled.

"I know!" Sam gave a mischievous look. "I'm going to tell him it's how great it is and get him to try it."

"You are so mean." Caitlin laughed.

She nodded, "I can be."

They soon entered the mess tent and went to the line. Once again Hawkeye Pierce was in line waiting for his food and complaining about how bad it would taste. Today's menu was Spam, mashed potatoes and canned corn.

Sam walked up to him and held the MRE before him. "I got you something, Captain Pierce."

He looked at the bag, "Meal Ready to Eat. Menu 3. Chicken with noodles." He then puckered in thought as he grasped the bag. "What is this?"

"A high tech ration for the secret chopper program." she kidded.

"Huh," he looked the bag over. "This looks different."

BJ looked at the bag, "That does look different. Chicken and noodles sound way better than more Spam."

Hawkeye asked, "What's in this?"

Sam handed him a slip of paper, "Here."

He took the paper, "Menu 3 contents: chicken, egg noodles, vegetables in sauce." He started to grin, "Listen to this Beege: applesauce with raspberry puree, crackers, peanut butter, apple jelly…"

BJ injected, "It comes with snacks!"

Hawkeye continued, "Skittles…whatever those are…tropical punch beverage powder, powdered hot sauce…" he debated what that would be. "Maybe something like chili powder?" he continued, "hot beverage bag, accessory packet A." He then placed the bag on his tray and left the line to go open the ration for it sounded much better than more Spam.

BJ asked, "Aren't you gonna eat?"

He nodded, "I'm eating this. Chicken with noodles in sauce with vegetables." He sat down with his bag and wondered how to get it open.

Caitlin suggested, "You might want to help him with that, Sam."

"It has instructions." she countered for Sam liked spam. She noticed, "Oh' good, bread. I can make a spam sandwich."

BJ left the line to go see what was in the bag with Hawkeye. In short time the doctors managed to open the bag and dumped out the contents. It was quiet the adventure for the pair as they never seen a ration like it before. The two worked to organize all the smaller packages. BJ found the heater, "What's this? Flameless ration heater." He read the instructions, "Tear off the top, add the main and then fill water to line, set against a rock or something." He ripped the top of the bag off and Hawkeye handed him the pouch.

"This is the chicken with noodles." Hawkeye stated.

BJ placed in the bag and added water from a small glass. He then stood up and quickly gathered a rock from just outside the tent as the heater started to steam. "Oooh, that's getting hot." He placed it up as instructed upon coming back inside.

Hawkeye stated, "Let's see what else we got." He found the cracker package and opened it.

BJ stated, "These are some thick crackers."

"And big." he noted.

"Let's put the peanut butter and apple jelly on the crackers." BJ figured.

Hawkeye looked at the plastic baggie, "Hot beverage bag? Do we put water in it?"

"I guess." BJ agreed.

As the doctors worked the ration, String made his way into the mess tent with Margaret Houlihann right on his heels. She had been attempting to strike up a conversation with the handsome pilot much to String's dismay.

"I always found aviation so fascinating, Captain." she told him.

He gave a nod and then spied the two doctors with an open MRE bag while trying to set up the ration like a dinner. He cocked his head, "Where did that come from?" He then looked to Sam who stood gathering her food. He marched over to Sam, "Did you do that?" he motioned towards the doctors.

"After all this time and all the screw ups that I have done; you really had to even ask?" she rebutted.

"Why did you do that?" he wondered.

She explained, "It's menu number 3. My least favorite."

String watched on as the doctors removed the main entrée from the heater and wiped it down. They opened it and then dug in to try the food.

BJ stated, "This ain't half bad. Way better than our rations."

Hawkeye closed his eyes as if he had gone to heaven, "This is way better than anything Igor cooks."

BJ tried a cracker, "Little different but if you add enough peanut butter you cover up that after test."

Hawkeye took a bit, "They are not stale." He sat amazed, "The cracker are not stale. Little funky after taste but we can cover that up."

Sam watched in absolute shock as the doctors seemed to actually enjoy the MRE.

Caitlin stood beside her and mentioned, "That plan seemed to have backfired. They like it!"

BJ ripped open the candy. He tried a piece, "Hawkeye…try these. It's sour candy."

He tried one and admitted, "Not too bad. Better than the tropical chocolate."

Sam came to the table with Caitlin. She looked on at the two doctors as if they were the strangest sight she ever saw.

Hawkeye looked upon his savior from Spam hell and stated, "This is great! Anything you want Lieutenant…Just ask."

BJ wondered, "Got any more of these top secret rations?"

Hawkeye figured, "They must save the good stuff for the top secret projects."

Sam nodded, "We do have a few more."

Hawkeye asked, "What are they? More like this!"

Caitlin recalled, "We brought Chili with beans, beef stew, Mexican rice and beans, chicken burrito and breakfast sausage patty."

"How much?" Hawkeye asked. "I'll buy them all."

"Um…" she looked to Sam. "I don't think they are for sale."

"Trade." he offered.

"Um…" she looked for String as he was busy trying to lose the head nurse in the line. He leaped behind and placed a man between to two and he pretended to have gone back for a coffee cup.

Major Houlihann emerged from the line next. She went to the doctor's table as she got nowhere with String. She saw the mess before her. "What are you two doing?" she gasped.

Hawkeye grinned, "I'm eating chicken with noodles."

"Where did you get that?" she demanded to know.

He motioned towards Sam, "From our top secret friends."

BJ stated, "This must be what they give spies. Way better than what we get."

Sam winced, "You like it. That stuff is awful."

Hawkeye told her, "If this is what you spies consider bad then I want what you normally get."

"We're test pilots. Not spies." she rebutted.

Colonel Potter and Dom were next into the mess tent. Dom held am old style ration in his hand to let Sam try. He went to the table where the doctors were enjoying the MRE. He figured Sam had given it to the pair.

"I got ya something, Sam." he held the ration for her. It was a small wax coated box. He grinned at the two doctor, "How you like the new ration?"

Hawkeye stated, "This is way better than Spam, Colonel."

BJ added, "Not perfect but at least it's something different."

Hawkeye paused, "You said this is new? They are replacing the old rations with these plastic bagged rations?"

Dom told him, "In time." He came up with an excuse, "Those are in development right now. Be years before we get them into enlisted hands."

BJ stated, "I would say these are ready now."

He smiled, "I'm glade you Captains got to taste test them." He then started towards the line.

Sam followed Dom and asked, "How comes they like those so much? They are awful."

"When you eat spam and powdered eggs all the time, Sam. That's MRE is a real treat for the men." he explained.

"I never thought of that." she confessed.

He asked, "How did you did you do on the lady?"

"I need to do more diagnostics. I'm at lost at what went wrong." she informed.

"Just keep us up to date. We will keep the camp busy so you can work." he told her.

Sam didn't get more food but followed him through the line. She asked, "How come you didn't marry Jan Baker? She's really likes you."

"We just drifted apart." he informed.

"That's a shame." she told him. "You two would be cute together."

"So were Pierce and Houlihann." Dom stated, "They never got together but boy…spark would fly with those two in the room."

"Really?" she asked. She looked back at Margaret who seemed love stuck for String.

"I always thought they would have made a good couple." Dom confessed. "Plus, if we could get them together…maybe that will give String a break from Hot Lips."

Sam agreed, "Poor Uncle String. Aunt Cait is not happy about how she flirts with him."

"They call her 'Hot Lips' for a reason." he reminded her.