Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Saiyuki in any way, shape, or form.
In The Margins
This is the story of my life. Well, to be more specific, this is the story of my lives…
Cho Hakkai sat in a dimly lit room, pen to paper. Every now and then he would glance up from where he was writing and watch Gojyo sleeping fitfully in the bed across the room. The days had been getting longer. Not literally of course… But the fights were getting harder the closer they got to Houtou Castle. It wasn't unusual for there to be little to no conflict among the four of them now; after all, none of them had the energy to spare for bickering. Not even Goku.
Not many people get a second chance at life. Especially people like me, people who have committed atrocities in the name of love. Was it love? I'm sure it was. I loved Kanan more than my own life. I think I proved that by trying to take my own life when she killed herself. All that I had done for her, the lives I had sacrificed, for nothing.
It wasn't a good kind of love, not in the end. It was self-destructive. I see that now not that I'll admit that to Gojyo.
Hakkai paused in writing to chuckle. A snore interrupted his thoughts and he looked up to see Gojyo shift in the bed, the covers twisted around him, feet bare to the cool night air.
Getting up from the sorry plank of wood on bricks that passed for a desk in this inn, he padded quietly over to the bed and gently straightened out the covers, tucking the other man in securely. Pausing for a moment to brush away a stray lock of hair that had slid forward across Gojyo's face, he smiled.
In times like these, when he was near the redhead or even just thinking about him, that he realized it was all worth it. Kanan, almost dying, becoming a demon. Had none of that happened, he would have never have met the perverted water sprite.
Settling back into the rickety chair as quietly as he could, he picked up the pen once more.
Life is funny. Sometimes it's one step forward, ten steps back. But it always seems to make sure you make it to where you're supposed to be, even if it doesn't feel like it at that time. When you're laying bleeding in the rain, having lost everything that made you feel alive. And then along comes a smart ass gambler who turns your world upside down and refuses to let you die.
A small sneeze broke the silence of the room. Hakkai lifted his head to stare into the red eyes of his lover.
"I didn't mean to wake you." He said softly.
Gojyo just lifted a shoulder in a small shrug. "You didn't. Can't sleep." He slipped out from under the covers and came over to stand at Hakkai's shoulder, surreptitiously trying to peek at what the brunet was writing.
Covering the paper with his hands, Hakkai snorted in disbelief. "For someone having trouble sleeping, you sure snore loud enough."
"I don't snore!"
"You do too! I bet Goku and Sanzo heard you down the hall!"
"You're just trying to get me to stop looking at whatever you're writing." Gojyo pouted, trying to tug the sheave of papers free from under Hakkai's arms.
"Very astute of you. Now go back to bed. I'll be done in a minute; it's late anyway." Hakkai tried to nudge the sulking kappa back to the bed with his foot while he protected the papers.
With a small sniff the redhead shuffled back to the bed and climbed under the covers. Pulling them up to just under his chin, he eyed Hakkai petulantly over them like a small child. "You better be almost done…"
"Yes yes… Give me five more minutes." Hakkai said as he turned back to writing. He gave Gojyo less than those five minutes before he fell asleep again.
Leaving one life behind, starting another; it was easier than I'd thought it would be. Between the accepting Goku, and the charming Gojyo, I barely had time to think about my past. And on those rainy days and nights when I did nothing but think Gojyo was always there. Sometimes I wish Sanzo wouldn't push Goku away like he does on those days. I, more than anyone, know what he's feeling. And he's going to end up like Cho Gonou if he isn't careful.
"He won't you know." A soft voice whispered in his ear, causing Hakkai's hand to jerk and smear ink in a line off the page and across the cheap wood.
"Gojyo!"
The redhead had once more gotten out of bed and was leaning over his shoulder. Hakkai realized that he must have been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't even heard or felt the other man sneak up behind him.
"Come to bed. You can finish your epic another night. I don't plan on letting either of us die any time soon, so you'll have plenty more tall tales to tell." Gojyo tugged the unresisting brunet from his seat, blew out the candle on the desk and led him to the bed.
Hakkai couldn't help but smile. It didn't matter that they were fighting an uphill battle, that they were probably throwing their lives away in a futile fight. They would have each other, and for now that was enough. He allowed Gojyo to pull him onto the lumpy mattress; the taller man spooned comfortably behind him as he pulled the threadbare blanket up to cover them.
"The past won't go away you know." Gojyo said softly as the room sank into darkness. "But the future isn't set in stone. This will be the story of our lives."
Hakkai said nothing, but fell asleep, and for once, wasn't plagued by nightmares of the past, or worries of the future.
The next morning he woke alone; but the space next to him was still warm. Gojyo had probably left early to get into the bathroom before Goku did. Sliding out of bed he made his way to the desk where he had left his papers from the night before. He was surprised to see what was scrawled at the bottom of rows of his neat writing.
We'll make our own futures. And kick the asses of anyone who tries to stop us. After all, this is the story of our lives right? Which means we don't plan on dying any time soon…
Make me some breakfast? Or join me in the shower? ;"-)
Hakkai started laughing. And it was a long time before he stopped.