Disclaimer: Jamie Redwall belongs to me.

-ShIvErInG sMiLe-: Thanks for the reviews (cheater).

Procrastinator-starting2moro: Thanks for the reviews- your pen name cracks me up.

Marvinlebt42: Steve, if we follow the logical timeline, is a year old in '76. Not exactly a barrel of laughs yet.

Hero the Priestess: Hehehehehe…. I just may do that….

Donkeykong27: High praise, that. Thanks!

Shoofly: You're a genius.

Cheeakee: I know the feeling, I do that all the time. Especially whilst reading Charminglyholly's stuff, that girl is a genius.

TwoTrack Mind: Hey look, another evening made! …I hope.

Mr. Prongs has had another one is his brill ideas.

Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Prongs is becoming too much like Mr. Padfoot.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Moony is just angry because Mr. Padfoot has made a small fortune off his last brill idea.

And if that's the case, Mr. Wormtail is in complete agreement with Mr. Moony, and recommends that Mr. Padfoot share.

It's my precious and you can't have it.

It's your what now?

He's making an allusion to a muggle novel. Padfoot, since when have you read Lord of the Rings?

Since I found out it annoys the hell out of my mother when I read muggle stories about magic. But we're getting off track- you were writing, Mr. Prongs?

Do we have any chalk?

A Notice From… The Deputy Headmaster's Office

The culprit who drew enchanted hopscotch squares in the Charms corridor WILL be found and punished severely. Those who are still affected by said enchantment are exempt from their studies until we find a way to make them stop hopping about.

- M. McGonagall

From the Diary of Lily Catherine Evans
October 5th, 1976
3:45 P.M.

I hate Potter and everything he stands for.

And thanks to him, now I hate hopscotch, too.

James Potter
8/10/76

Transfiguration Notes:
The Effects for Improper Self-Transfiguration on the Human Body

Lily Evans

Lily Potter

Lily Evans-Potter

James Evans (?)

Mrs. Potter

Mrs. James Potter

Mr. and Mrs. Potter

Lily and James Po-

Prongs, stop it.

Moony!

Do the words "take notes" mean anything to you, Padfoot?

I think Prongs will have another go at Miss Lily today.

What makes you say that?

Well, the fact that he's writing variations of her name all over his notes is a clue.

Mr. Wormtail wants to put 3 sickles on the "Kill Each Other in a Day" option if you'd be so kind, Mr. Padfoot.

But of course, Mr. Wormtail.

Hospital Wing: Patient Log

Name of Patient: Potter, James
Injuries: Welt on back of head, dislocated left shoulder
Cause of Injuries: Suspected spell damage

Potter's being scary again.

Scary how?

Scary like a stalker.

James isn't stalking you Lily.

Oh, he so is.

Even if he is, he isn't scary about it.

Says who?

Well, he hasn't started making dolls out of strands of your hair yet. That's good, right?

He asked me out again today.

What, to go to Hogsmeade?

Indeedy do.

What did you do?

I Stunned him, and he fell into a broom closet.

Was the closet door open?

It is now.

A Notice From… the Desk of Professor J.F. Vance, Arithmancy

Cause for Notice: Disciplinary action

Notes: Students Evans, Lily and Sheridan, Ambrosia were caught passing notes in class. Suitable punishment: essay. Furthermore, evidence has surfaced pinning Miss Evans as the culprit of the attack on Potter, James. Suitable punishment: Cleaning the trophy room sans magic.

From the Diary of Lily Catherine Evans
October 12th, 1976
7:38 PM

Why is it that when I'm stuck hopping scotch for hours at a time due to Potter and his idiot friends, he isn't punished, but when I have a teeny, tiny anger management issue I'm stuck cleaning the trophy room?

There is a severe lack of proper law and order in this school.

What do you think we should name our children?

What? Prongs, I understand I'm a very attractive guy, but-

Not yours and mine, you dolt, mine and Lily's!

Prongs. She slammed you forcefully into a closet the other day. A CLOSED, LOCKED closet.

I know, it was like the sexiest thing EVER.

You're mental.

Guilty as charged. Now, as for our children…

Now that is a truly frightening thought.

What, you don't want to be Uncle Padfoot?

Have you HEARD James' plan for disciplining his kids?

No.

I'm intrigued.

Fine. Right. So you buy a litter of puppies for your kids when they're small, and have done something good. That's positive reinforcement, which is good. I like that.

And?

And then when they do something wrong, you kill a puppy.

That's awful!

Hey, Prongs?

Yes?

If a puppy does something wrong, do you kill a child?

Hmm… never thought about that.

And this is why James Potter should never, ever procreate.

Amen.

How do you feel about "Harry"?

For god's sake, Prongs, give it a rest.

Watch Log of Argus Filch- 14 October

(12:00 PM) Sirius Black has not made any attempts to go into Hogsmeade, despite his being barred this trip for replacing all the 6th year girls in Hufflepuff's perfume with an aphrodisiac.

His obedience is disturbing, must look into it.

(12:35 PM) Black nowhere to be found, must assume he's in his dormitory.

I'll get the little blighter for something.

From the Diary of Lily Catherine Evans
October 14th, 1976
9:55 PM

Bought a lovely new quill in Scrivenshift's, can't wait to use it. I really should get over my nasty habit of chewing on them, it's rather disgusting.

Or so I'm told.

Jamie Redwall asked me out when I was in the Three Broomsticks. I almost said yes just because Potter was sitting like three feet away (he is SO stalking me, I don't care what Ambrosia says) but I figure that that isn't the way to emotional satisfaction, so I turned him down.

On a related note, I saw Sirius Black in the Three Broomsticks, too. I thought that he was stripped of Hogsmeade privileges because of the whole sex!perfume thing… I'll have to look into that.

The little pervert. I'll be you anything, my little non-existent friend, that it was Potter's idea.

And now I'm talking to an inanimate object as though it was a person.

I have strayed far from the path to emotional satisfaction.

SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!

Note: I am not taking bets regarding Lily and James from reviewers at the moment, because we know that James and Lily don't start dating until seventh year, so it wouldn't be fair.

The betting pool will open, however, when the timing is more appropriate.