Chapter 59
Lt. Colonel Frank Burns rubbed his hands together with a grin and a beady look in his eye after he pulled the jeep into his old camp, the 4077th. He relished in the task of inspecting the camp as he had a few old scores to settle with Hawkeye Pierce. He also intended to get Margret back in his arms even if it was for just one night. He found the camp was in the same old dialect state as before and certainly was not up to snuff for an inspection. He gathered his pen and notebook and started to scribble down notes immediately. He then climbed out of the jeep and made his way to Colonel Potter's office as he was drunk on power.
Inside the Colonel's office String, Dom, Caitlin and Sam were given insignia to wear and name badges for the uniforms. They were going over their cover as they needed to keep Airwolf safe from Frank's prying eyes. The two women would be nurses, Dom to be a Colonel with the medical chopper units and String was to be a Captain and a pilot for the medical chopper. He would be the brother of Major John Hawke and there to assist in fixing the damaged chopper the Major flew in prior.
Sherman stated, "Everyone pitched in extra pins to help make this possible. Those captains bars are from Hunnicutt and Pierce, String."
"I'll make sure to thank them." he assured.
Sherman informed, "Major Houlihann secured some pins from the other nurses for Cait and Sam to wear. Now, you two just blend in with the nurses and don't stick out. Frank won't even see you two."
Caitlin assured, "We can blend in."
Dom had pinned the Colonel insignia that Potter had given him to his collar. He stated, "Just don't say anything to Frank, Sam. Just avoid him and stay low. Don't go to Airwolf until he's gone."
"I got it." she assured her great uncle.
Radar then walked into the office, "Sirs! He's here." He warned just moments before the crazy doctor walked into the office.
Frank strutted in bloating, "Colonel Potter!" He then found the others standing in the office and he assumed they could be new doctors and nurses. He asked, "New doctors! Is Pierce finally gone?"
Sherman turned sharply on his heels and addressed the annoying man. "No! I'm afraid to inform you, much to your dismay, that Captain Pierce is not gone. These two men are from Army Aviation. There is a down chopper here and injured pilot, Major John Hawke." He then stated, "The two ladies are new nurses." He stated, "You two Lieutenants are dismissed."
Caitlin and Sam both saluted and figured the Colonel was giving them an exist. They walked out of the room and then lingered in Radar's office to listen through the door crack.
Radar asked, "Am I dismissed, Sir?"
"You are dismissed, son." Sherman gave a nod.
Radar then walked out the office and found the two hanging near the door. He kept his voice low, "You can hear through the door." He gently nudged the door so they could hear.
"Major Hawke is in camp?" Frank asked a bit worried.
Colonel Potter nodded, "He's recovering and this here Captain is his brother, Stringfellow Hawke."
Dom whispered to String, "Your father hit him once. He went down like a sack of potatoes."
"I can imagine." he whispered back.
Frank looked at Dom, "Colonel Santini. Any relation to Major Santini?"
He lied, "He's my son."
"He is?" he winced.
Dom nodded and assured, "Dom junior told me all about you, Colonel."
"He did?" he winced again. He then defended, "Whatever he said, it was a lie." He figured Major Sanitni would not have anything good to say about him.
"Are you actually accusing my son of being a liar?" Dom challenged.
Frank stated, "I'm here to inspect the camp." He figured he better change the subject. "You are not part of the inspection, Colonel. You and Captain Hawke just stay out of my way."
String cocked an eyebrow, "Well…Damn…you are a real peach."
"You will address me with respect, Captain." He motioned towards his pin, "I'm a Colonel." he sounded much like a child.
Potter stated, "You are a Lieutenant Colonel and I'm a full bird Colonel and so is Dom." He got in his face, "You want to start pulling rank now?"
Frank backed down, "Well…now…we can be civil about this."
Potter huffed, "You do your inspection. It better be a fair inspection. Then you leave and you leave my officers alone. Understand?"
"I understand." he replied meek. He had no intention of being fair or of leaving the officers of the camp alone. "I place my things in the VIP tent."
"Colonel Santini is already in the VIP tent." Potter told him. "There is only one extra cot and that's in the swamp."
Dom offered, "I will clear out of the VIP tent and take the cot in the swamp."
"You don't have to do that, Dom." Potter assured.
He informed, "I would rather not subject the doctors to the inspector." He didn't want to subject Hawkeye for he knew Frank was a vindictive man.
"It's your call." he agreed.
"Come on, String. Help me clear out my stuff." He motioned for String to follow and led the man out the office and into the clerk's office.
The pair found Radar, Caitlin and Sam eavesdropping.
Caitlin stated, "Boy that Burns guy is a piece of work."
Dom agreed, "Frank is something else."
Sam asked, "Is he sane?"
"Nope," Dom shook his head. "Just stay away from him, Sam. And be very careful what you say. If Burns finds Airwolf and your engine…." he shook his head, "It would be bad."
She admitted, "I wish I had that security team to sick on him…The A Team."
Caitlin grinned, "Me too."
Radar asked, "What's the A Team?"
Dom stated, "They would be all be in diapers now. Don't worry, Colonel Potter can handle Frank. Just lay low for a while."
String stated, "Come on, Dom. Let's get you moved to the Swamp. You are safer there with the loony doctors than with Napoleon there." he motioned towards the office.
"Let's go." he agreed.
String stated as they walked out the door, "What happened that made my dad clock him?"
"Come on, I'll tell ya the story." he led them out of the tent.
Meanwhile
Margaret Houlihann had stepped into the swamp looking for some kind of support when she spied Frank arrive in the jeep. She wanted to avoid him for the next forty-eight hours. She feared how she would react to seeing him again. She wasn't sure if she would hit him, break down and cry or sleep with him again. She sounded desperate as she pleaded with Hawkeye and Charles.
"He's here! What do I do? I can't let him see me." she cried desperate.
Hawkeye wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her close and keep her safe from the lunatic that just arrived the 4077th once more. But he knew that act might scare Margaret even more. He placed his hands on her shoulders instead and spoke in an even and calm voice. "It will alright, Margaret. We will keep him so busy with that inspection he won't have time to harass you."
"That I can deal with Hawkeye. If he harassed me then I could file a formal complaint. What if he wants me back? Things are not so good with me and Donald and Frank will take advantage of that." she told him.
Charles stood up from his cot and stepped closer to assure her as well. "Margaret, I can assure you that he will not think twice of trying to take advantage of you. You must remember we have an advantage at our disposal. We have Major Hawke, his adult son, an older version of Major Santini and two undercover nurses who are aware of his antics and equally have a reason to keep him occupied."
She proclaimed, "And I would be the perfect thing to keep him occupied for them. They need to keep him away from that chopper hidden outside of the camp. In their point of view, I would be perfect. I'm the ex."
"Margaret," Hawkeye stated firmly, "I'm not going to let Frank Burns hurt you."
Her eyes softened as she looked upon him. Sometimes she wondered why she couldn't bring herself to admit her feelings for the man. She adored him and yet at the same time he drove her crazy. He was a mix of the perfect soul mate and the complete opposite of what she wanted in a man all rolled up into one. She wanted a soul mate, an officer and a gentlemen. She wanted a man with a great sense of humor, who was neat and clean and perfect in every way. Hawkeye had her heart but her mind simply could not accept the untidiness, lack of respect for the military and the uniform. She grew up in the military. It was all she knew and part of who she was. She could not see herself as a civilian, married to a doctor from Maine who absolutely hated serving his country though she could agree with his assessment of war and the human toll it took.
Before she could answer the door of the swamp opened and in walked Dom with String behind him along with Caitlin and Sam carrying some things for the move.
Dom greeted, "I gave Frank the VIP tent. So, I will be taking the extra cot here with you doctors."
Hawkeye grinned at Dom and stated, "I think I'm in love." It was music to his ears as he feared Frank staying in the same tent again.
Sam noticed the adoring expression on Margaret's face. Margaret then shook herself out of her thought and gathered herself. She took a deep breath, "Yes…that does sound like a good idea. Frank would be happier in the VIP tent and that can help the camp pass this inspection."
Curiously Sam asked, "You know Colonel Burns pretty well, Major?"
Margaret nodded, "We were close at one point. Before I met my husband, Donald."
She cocked her head, "You are married?"
"I am." she proclaimed.
Sam's lack of a filter once again got the best of her as she replied, "I thought you and Hawkeye were an item."
Hawkeye looked on amused as Margaret turned sharply and asked, "Why did you think that, Sam?" she sounded rather irritated.
"The banter you two have and how you were looking at him just now…the body language, I thought you two had a thing going." she explained.
Dom soothed his niece amused, "Don't feel bad, Sam. We pilots that they had a thing going too."
Sam defended, "Look at the body language. They are always close together even when they are arguing. You can't fake that. These two are in love with each other." she proclaimed.
Margaret looked Sam dead in the eye and stated, "How dare you make assumptions about my personal life." She fully expected Sam to back down and apologize for the remark. Instead, she doubled down.
She assessed, "For you to bite my head off like that I would then say I'm over the mark. What's that old saying? You get flack when you are over the target." She grinned at her. "Damn, you are in love with him! That's a good thing. Hawkeye is a way better choice that Frank. Go for it!" she gave a thumbs up.
She gasped, "I'm married!"
She waved her hand, "Dump him. You don't love him." she proclaimed. "You're in love with him." she pointed to Hawkeye.
Charles came to Margaret's defense, "Have you no shame, child?" He chastised. "One does not get involved into a married woman's love life."
Sam proudly proclaimed, "My generation has no shame and we do not give a shit!"
Dom intervened, "In Sam's time the divorce rate is 50% and there are families living out of wedlock. They don't see marriage as a big deal. To Sam it's just a piece of paper and not a life long commitment. Her generation doesn't value marriage like we do."
Sam asked Margaret rather bluntly, "Do you love your husband and are you happy with him?"
She glared at her, "That's none of your business."
"I'm just saying that you have a choice here. You can either stay with Mr. Boring or go with Hawkeye. If it was me, I would go for Hawkeye." She then asked, "Is that a still in the tent?" she noticed the brass contraption.
String nodded, "It is."
She looked to Hawkeye, "You make you own booze."
"Got to have something to take the edge off." he declared.
"Are you and alcoholic? Because that can be a life long issue." she stated concerned for him. "I mean I really like you and you're an amazing man but that can be a deal breaker. It kills your liver and destroys your life."
Margaret had to agree, "The drinking is an issue." She looked expectantly to Hawkeye.
Charles declared, "The stuff that Pierce consumes does not qualify as booze. It's more like paint remover." he scowled.
He admitted, "Alright…I could cut back."
Sam suggested, "Stop drinking whatever that is," she pointed to the still, "clean up a bit and she's all yours." she motioned towards Margaret.
"Are you always like this?" he asked a bit annoyed.
String agreed, "She wants me and Caitlin to get married and she even went as far as to start to plan the wedding herself without telling us."
Margaret had to admit, "That is officer material there." She looked to Sam, "Maybe your generation needs more stable, long term, marriages."
"The reason my generation doesn't want to get married is because we watched our parents and grandparents get destroyed in divorces." she informed. "I'm one of the lucky ones who still has both parents together. A lot of families are split between two households. One week with mom and the other with dad. Add to that stepparents and stepsiblings. They get batted back and forth between two houses." She shifted her weight, "If you are not happy with your husband and you don't have kids, just leave him because eventually that marriage will end anyways. What does your husband do?"
"He's an officer in the Army." she proclaimed.
Sam asked, "Did you marry him because he has a uniform? A lot of women do that."
"No," she became defensive. "He was funny, sweet and kind. Frank is a married man and he was having an affair with me when I met Donald, broke up with Frank for Donald and that drove Frank over the edge. He's going to try to get me back." she explained.
She gave a nod and puckered in thought. "Frank hates Hawkeye, right?"
"Yes," she confirmed.
She mentioned, "If you go for Hawkeye that would really piss Frank off. Might break him completely."
Charles admitted, "She could have a point there. That would be a genius tactical move to get rid of Colonel Burns forever."
Hawkeye asked, "What are you saying, Charles?"
He suggested, "You and Margaret pretend to be in a relationship and that will drive Colonel Burns into such jealously that he will be too focused on losing Margaret to Pierce then to bother the camp."
A gleam twinkled in Margaret's eyes, "That would drive Frank crazy, wouldn't it?"
Sam added, "And you can be with a man you love. Kill two birds with one stone."
Caitlin spoke to Sam, "You got that shit from the internet, didn't you?"
"Of course." she agreed.