They arrived at Sam's house after Jack went threw on some of his older, tighter jeans, a sweatshirt, and some sandals. As they pulled up to the house, Daniel turned to his friend. "So, how're we gonna get inside?"
Jack walked up the walk to the house. He began looking around the yard for something, much like MacGyver did in that TV show. Daniel followed "Samantha" up to the porch. "So, what? We're going to MacGyver a way into the house?"
He was silenced by a look from Jack. "Sorry."
"I thought we'd use the spare key." Jack said as he grabbed the back of his pants and bent down to pick up the key from under the mat.
"Why do you know where Sam keeps her spare key?" Daniel asked.
"Because she told me."
"Oh. Why didn't she tell me?"
"I don't know, Danny. Don't bother me with questions."
They turned the key in the lock and entered the house. "So, which way to Carter's bedroom?" Jack asked.
"Don't ask me. I don't know."
"Why not?"
"Why do you think I know?" Daniel retorted.
"Because she said that you visited her last week when she was sick."
"Oh." Daniel said, realizing that Jack hadn't meant anything dirty by his question. "She was on the couch."
"Ah."
"So, we look for it."
"Yep."
They spent the next few minutes looking through all the rooms in her house before they finally came upon her bedroom. "Found it!" Jack cried.
Daniel hurried over. "Okay. So, now what?"
Jack walked to the dresser with trepidation. He reached for the handle of the top drawer.
"You're really going to boldly go where no man has gone before, aren't you?" Daniel said, almost in awe.
"In a manner of speaking." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "We can do this. We're grown men, after all."
Daniel nodded, solemnly. But it was still weird to hear Sam's voice assert masculinity.
"Well, here goes nothing." Jack opened the drawer and inside were two piles of neatly folded panties and bras. He reached in and grabbed the first bra in the pile. "This one?"
Daniel looked at the pink lace. "Uh, I don't think so…it's a little…lacy for…work…"
Both men shuddered to think about the unknown love life of one Samantha Carter. So much for being men, they thought.
"Okay…what about this one?" He asked, pulling out a strapless bra.
"It's a little too…"
"Strapless?" Jack finished.
"Yeah."
They tore through the underwear drawer, sending the floor each discarded bra, panty and "Girdle?" Daniel asked.
"Ew." Jack said, shuddering.
They finally reached the "holy grail:" a plain white bra that would not attract any unwanted attention to Jack.
"So, now what?" Daniel asked, not really sure that he wanted to know the answer.
"Now, you help me get this stupid thing on."
"What?" Daniel asked, protesting his part in the proceedings.
"Daniel, I don't know how to fasten a bra any more than you do, well, from this perspective, anyway. I need your help!"
Daniel grimaced. "Okay. So, I just have to fasten it, right? You're going to make sure it's…adjusted properly?"
Jack winced. "Yeah. I'll…check to make sure it's…adjusted."
"So, plan of attack?"
"We, uh…move away from all windows and doors. Then, I close my eyes and take off the shirt. You stand behind me and catch the straps. Then, fasten me in."
"Okay." Daniel said, looking at his friend. It was so stupid that here he was, standing with a woman, trying to figure out how to put her bra on.
They tried for fifteen minutes to put the bra on. "Oh for cryin' out loud, it can't be this hard!" Jack insisted, his eyes firmly shut.
"Well, we aren't exactly old pros."
"Okay, fine. I'm looking. Right now, this body is mine, and…I really hope Carter sees it the same way."
The bra was fastened correctly in approximately another thirty seconds.
"I hope I never have to do that again." Daniel swore sincerely.
Jack almost snickered, but instead hopped into the walk-in closet where he changed into hip-hugging jeans and a floral t-shirt. When he walked out of the closet, Daniel had to hide an amused smile. It was so wrong to know that Jack had picked those clothes out himself.