Hey, everyone! I'm okay! I didn't die on ya or anything! I've just been really swamped with homework, so I haven't had much of a chance to get my story updated, let alone type the chapters out! Here's chapter three!
Disclaimer: I do not own Jello® brand gelatin dessert. If I did, I would be sooooo rich. But I don't. So screw it. I don't own Danny Phantom or any of its characters, and I don't own A Series of Unfortunate Events or any of the "Unfortunate Events" that take place in it. (And I thankfully DON'T own the Box Ghost, or the "Where's the Beef?" fad of the eighties. Oh, the things one can learn from "I Love the Eighties" and VH1….)
I'm sure you've noticed something about first impressions, and this is that they are usually wrong. For example, you might pick up a book or movie and think that you will not like it, but when you become older, you may love it. When Sam was younger, she despised vegetables, but now she prefers to be a vegetarian. In the case of Count Vlad, however, the Fentons' first impressions – that he was a vile, sinister man – turned out to be correct. Every morning, the children found a note on the kitchen counter, listing various odd jobs that were to be done – usually very laborious tasks, a phrase which here means "They were excruciatingly tough." After this, it was up to the children to hunt for food in Vlad's massive cellar, using a reaching tool Tucker had invented to reach the high shelves.
The next morning, however, the children found the usual note along with a twenty dollar bill. "'Orphans,'" Danny read aloud, "'My theater troupe is coming over for dinner tonight. You are to prepare dinner for all eight of us.'" "But none of us now how to cook," Sam protested. "The last thing I made was a cake in that oven Tucker made." "And that turned out to be a disaster," Danny said, smiling. "It tasted even worse," Tucker signed, and his siblings nodded in agreement. These small memories, no matter how long ago they had taken place, always made the children feel better, even on the most miserable of days.
"Perhaps Justice Manson has a cookbook we could borrow," Tucker signed, leading his siblings towards the front door.
"Thank you very much for allowing us to use your cookbook," Sam said. "Don't mention it," the judge said, dismissing the reply with a small wave. "But it strikes me as odd as to why Vlad wants you to make dinner for him, his friends, and you." "He gives us a lot of responsibility," Sam said, although she wished she could say "Count Vlad is forcing us to do this, and he really belongs in jail for child abuse," as Sam flipped the pages of the cookbook. She stopped briefly, flipped back a page, and read the recipe on the page. "I've got one," she said, and her siblings crowded around to see what she had found.
"Here," she said, pointing to the page. "Puttanesca. The only things we need are noodles, anchovies, garlic, olives, and tomatoes." "Sounds delicious," Tucker signed. "I just hope Vlad thinks so," Danny said grimly. "Maybe if we serve something delicious, he'd be a little kinder to us."
After shopping for ingredients (and Jello for dessert), the children proceeded to cook the dinner. Sam chopped the tomatoes, anchovies, olives, and garlic and mixed them together to make the sauce, while Danny heated the underside of the pan with his ghost energy, and Tucker mixed and tested the Jello for consistency and boiled the noodles with Danny's help. Because Danny's spectral beam was so intense, it quickly cooked the sauce to a simmer, and softened the noodles to Al Dente, a culinary phrase which here means "Medium firm, and the way Sugary Snicket prefers her Raimen Noodles." The Fentons had just finished pouring the Jello into an eye-shaped mold (to please the villains who would be eating it) when Vlad entered the kitchen to check up on them.
"We've finished, Count Vlad," Sam said in a slightly meek voice. Vlad gave each orphan an evil, penetrating glare, then said "Good." He stalked off towards the dining room, followed by several strange-looking people (And ghosts; Danny could tell because his ghost sense had gone off) that looked as if they'd be very unpleasant to meet in a dark alley at night. There was a ghost with flaming green hair, toting several dangerous-looking weapons. There was a man that had hooks instead of hands, and a fat ghost that was wearing overalls and a skullcap, and looked very stupid. There were two ghosts who, on closer inspection, actually were two very much alive women with white powder all over their faces, and several more that were so unpleasant that I cannot describe them without having to abandon this story and hide underneath my end table. The over-alled ghost stopped in front of Sam, glaring at her.
"You are quite pretty," he said in an annoying, nasally voice. "I'd be careful if I were you, for I AM THE BOX GHOST!" The ghost laughed a laugh that was undoubtedly suppose to be evil, causing Danny to become annoyed, Sam to become confused, and Tucker to become vexed, a fancy term for "Confused and annoyed."
A sudden strict pounding sound came from the dining room, as if someone were pounding the dining room table in rhythm. The children sighed and gathered the two pots of sauce and noodles and started to serve Vlad and his crew. The villainous crowd stared at the food each child ladled onto their plate. Then, they stared at Vlad, who calmly asked "Where's the beef?"
"OH, I LOVE THAT COMMERCIAL!" the Box Ghost yelled. Vlad glared at him.
"Uh, you didn't specify that you wanted to have roast beef for dinner," Danny said, " so we made Puttanesca instead. It's an Italian dish." "I KNOW what it is," Vlad said, annoyed, "And I also know what it is not." He jumped onto the table and started to walk on it as if it were the red carpet. The other villains stood up, as if bracing themselves for something. "I graciously took you orphans into my home," Vlad said, anger rising in his voice, "I gave you clothing, room and board, and food, and this is the thanks that I get!" At this point, Vlad suddenly and swiftly proceeded to kick the plates of food off the table, making quite a mess and unintentionally (or intentionally, I couldn't tell from the evidence witnesses gave me) hitting Danny in the face with noodles and sauce.
"Okay, that's it," Tucker signed, "You are WAY out of line!" "What are you doing?" Vlad asked. "Is that supposed to be karate?"
If you know anything about the fine art that is sign language, then you know that it is simply a way to communicate if one cannot speak normally, and is in no way used for fighting. Count Vlad, however, either didn't know this or didn't care, because he assumed a karate-like stance and swiftly struck Tucker across the face, knocking him over. Sam and Danny knelt beside their brother and helped him up, then walked up to their bedroom, ignoring the terrible laughter of the villains downstairs.
The orphans' room was quite small and dark, with only one small bed and no windows. The sight of this depressing room only seemed to remind the children of their desperate situation and was enough to make Tucker start crying, not so much from his face, which still stung like fire, but from how miserable their lives were as of late.
"This is not fair," Tucker signed. "Why do we have to have such terrible luck?" "The world isn't always fair, Tuck," Danny said. "No wait. Scratch that. It's never fair. How is it fair that kids at school always teased Sam for being herself? How is it fair that you can't speak?" Danny walked over to the bed and phased his hand through it. "How is it fair that I'm the only person alive who can do this?" He phased his had back through the bed. "It's not. I know that you're sad because our parents are….. are…."
"Dead," Sam said bitterly, nearly choking on the word. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Yeah, what Sam said," Danny said. "I know it's hard. We're sad, too." Tears welled in his eyes as well. "We've got to be diligent. We just have to cope right now. I'm sure things will get better soon."
"I wouldn't bet on it," Sam said, her voice laden with sobs, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but Sam's words turned out to be correct. The Fentons, however, could not yet know the falseness of these words.
Suddenly, their solitude was broken by loud, boisterous laughter. "That sounds like Count Vlad," Danny said. "Tucker, can you listen in on the conversation and tell us what they're talking about?" Tucker nodded, crept as close to the door as he could, and listened carefully.
"So, does everyone understand the plan?" Vlad said. "Yes, boss," several voices said. "Wait!" the Box Ghost yelled. "I don't understand the idea!"
Several troupe members sighed. Vlad sighed, too, and explained his plan. "Tomorrow," he said, "at eight-thirty, I will cast the orphans in a play. They will perform in it, with Samantha cast as my bride. I will cast that ridiculous judge as herself. Because a legal guardian can permit a child of Samantha's age to marry, and because the marriage laws in this community say that the only things she need to do are sign a piece of paper and say "I do" while in the prescience of a judge, Samantha Fenton – and the Fenton fortune, respectively – will both be mine." "But what purpose will the female serve after the fortune is yours?" the Box Ghost asked. There was a pause, and Tucker was certain that Vlad was smiling evilly.
"None," Vlad said evilly. "Her siblings will have mysteriously drowned at Briny Beach, whereas Samantha – well, that's a secret, now, isn't it?" The villains laughed cruelly and Tucker slid away from the door, a look of absolute horror on his face.
"Sam," Tucker signed quickly, "We are in grave danger. The Count is planning to steal a fortune that we're supposed to inherit."
"We have a fortune?" Danny said. "Mom and dad never mentioned that." "I didn't know about it either," Tucker signed, "But in order to get it, he plans to cast all of us in a play and marry you on stage, but it's not going to be a pretend wedding. You'll really be his wife." Sam blushed. "But I'm fourteen. I can't get married yet," she said, turning away in embarrassment. "I don't plan on getting hitched until I'm at least twenty."
"Not if Vlad can help it," Tucker signed. "He's going to marry you tomorrow night if we don't do something quick. Besides, I overheard them saying that you can get married if your legal guardian says you may. Vlad is our legal guardian."
Danny and Sam gasped in horror.
"But that's not even the half of it," Tucker signed. "If Vlad succeeds, you'll be left in a very unfortunate predicament. He even said he'd do something very, very bad to you."
"But what is it that he plans to do?" Sam asked, horrified.
"He didn't say what was to become of you, Sam," Tucker signed, fear shining in his eyes. "But he plans to drown Danny and I."
"Oh no," Sam said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," a familiar and sinister voice said behind the children. The Fentons whirled to see Vlad standing in the doorway, closing the door behind him. The orphans heard the faint click of the deadbolt as Vlad locked the door. What Sam had said about their situation getting worse was true, and it was happening right in front of them. The children could only gaze up at Vlad in fear, knowing that things were about to get much, much worse.
SOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO…… Whaddaya think? And now, a brief, meaningless song about the cliffhanger of the story:
Oh, cliffhanger! Hanging from a cliff…..
And that's why it's called cliffhanger!
Well, review, review, review! I'll give you a fresh-baked digital muffin:D