I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the lady who lives at number 3 on my street. She gave me free maltesers...mmm…I'd like to not dedicate it to my little sister who ate my maltesers and had to give me some more.

During Advanced History Of Magic, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Dear Diary,

There are many steps to the perfect apology. I am up to boosting my self confidence. I will proceed to write out 'I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven.' Ok, that's once.

I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. 'I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven. I am an amazing, beautiful person who truly feels sorry and deserves to be forgiven.

Ok, so bored. Time for new mantra.

No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows. No rain, no rainbows.

So need a new mantra.

You know what, 54 times is pretty good. Who really needs 100? And what is so special about 100 anyway? I, personally, like 54. 54 is the new 100.

Ok, all psyched up. Going to apologise to James. I have a practice conversation all worked out.

Me: Hi James!

James: Oh, hey Lils, what's up?

Me: Actually I just wanted to apologise for what I said.

James: No, I should be the one to apologise, seeing as how I embarrassed you, especially that time in Charms when you really needed my help and were currently unaware that I was mad at you.

Me: I call that The Thing You Did.

James: Well, I'm really, really sorry and I should take you shopping to make up for it.

Me: I couldn't let you.

James: I insist. I'll buy you anything you want from Hogsmeade.

Me: Thanks James!

James: Anything for you Lily.

See? It all works out.

Nat would like to point out that Lily is being phenomenally unrealistic.

Nat, It's my diary, MINE, meaning I write in it.

Lily, have you read that conversation? James isn't going to magically forgive you, ok?

Of course he will.

No, he won't. He's really hurt. He even started dating another girl.

Hello, that's a good thing.

Will you stop living in denial? Please?

I AM NOT IN DENIAL!

Personally, I think you should listen to some of Sirius's ideas.

Are you crazy? Did you hear those ideas?

Yes.

I am not going to offer to shower with James!

I think you should.

NAT!
Well, he loves you, you love him…it's only natural Lily.

Nat, stop it. Just stop it.

Apologise properly.

NO!

Wait, I am apologising properly.

Yeah, right. Here he comes. And if you plan to use the previously mentioned conversation, how tall are you exactly?

Yes, I am, and why?

Just so we have the measurements to tell the guy who makes your coffin.

Hate you.

Apologise.

Later On During History Of Magic, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Dear Diary,

My god, what is wrong with that boy? He didn't even let me get around to apologising! He came to borrow a quill off Nat! NAT! What about me, hmm? I was in such a state of complete and utter shock that I didn't even say "hi." I couldn't even say hi! That's it, I'm going over there. He has to talk to me.

Lily

In The Girl's Bathroom, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Dear Diary,

I couldn't do it! I'm such a wimp. What about Gryffindor bravery? Coz you know, I'd really like to see some of that come into effect right about now.

He was just there, laughing with his friends, and he was so happy, and I just couldn't do it. Sirius asked me why I was standing there, and I just said "no reason" and left.

And then, James said something, which was apparently really funny, because they all laughed at it, and I could just hear James and Caroline laughing about whatever it was, and it was so bad.

And now I'm sitting on this toilet, crying, and the page is covered with tear stains, and I don't even know why it affected me so much.

It was just James.

I need something to distract me. I have to stop crying. Why can't I stop? The tears just keep coming and coming, and coming…

I'm going to read through this entire diary.

And maybe I'll laugh and feel better

Lily

Still In The Girl's Bathroom, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Dear Diary,

I read this, the whole thing. And you won't believe what I realised. Every single entry is about James. It's all about James. I hate his girlfriend for no real reason. It's obvious.

I'm in love with James Potter.

I'm in love with James Potter, who has a girlfriend, has forgotten about me, and makes jokes about me to his friends.

Crap.

Lily

Honestly, Just Guess Where I Am, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Going To Die Young

10. I'm left-handed. Everyone knows left-handers die younger then right handers.

9. Dehydration, because I refuse to drink pumpkin juice, and that's all this is around here!!!

8. I get sunburnt so easily, and will therefore die of skin cancer.

7. There's a spider web over there. The spider who owns it could come down at any time and bite me.

6. Stress, because everyone expects me to get amazing grades because I'm Head Girl. I would like to note that so far this year the Head Girl does nothing but trying to run away from the Head Boy, and vice versa.

5. Those bloody brooms everyone insists on flying. If they ever manage to get me one I'll fall to my death. I just know it.

4. Karma. I have faked sick to get out of many things, (flying lessons) and the rles of karma will strike back with a deadly disease.

3. Anthony Perkins. He is a complete perve, meaning all the girls have to cover themselves up all the time. I will die from overheating.

2. My sister Petunia.

1. I am heartbroken. I don't think I will ever be able to bring myself to eat or drink enough. I will just waste away, knowing the boy I love loves another girl, one who I can never measure up to, and I could have prevented it, if only I had realised my feelings sooner.

Right Back Where I Was, On The Toilet In The Girls Bathroom Near The History Of Magic Classroom, Tuesday, September 13th, 1977

Dear Diary,

I just went outside and James and Caroline were practically EATING each other RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!

And then McGonagall came along and took 10 point of each of them for PDA's.

And then I had the most embarrassing moment of my life.

It's worse then that time when Sirius wanted to borrow a quill, and I told him there was one in my bag, and he found a box of tampons in there, and he and James started chucking to each other and teasing me, in front of the whole common room.

But this time, Professor McGonagall looked over at me, and said. 'Miss Evans, did you want something?'

Then James and Caroline turned and looked at me with looks of shock on their faces. And I was looking back at them with a look of horror on my face.

And when I remembered I had red puffy eyes, and mascara/tear stains, I'm positive my look of horror got worse.

I mean, I'd seen James kiss Caroline before, But I never cared, because I didn't know I was in love with him.

We were all frozen, I was staring at James, and he was staring at me, Caroline was staring at both of us, and McGonagall was waiting for something to happen.

People say windows are the eyes to the soul, and I don't know if it's just me, but I can't tell how people are feeling by looking into their eyes. Because I was looking straight into James's eyes and I don't know any more then I did before.

Then Sirius came out of nowhere, and said something, I don't know what, but it distracted everyone, and I ran back to this bathroom and locked myself in. Someone called out after me but I ignored them.

I'm locked in here now, and I'm never going out there again.

Even if the spider who owns the spider web appears.

Lily

*************

There. I updated so ha, ali.

review, all of you. thanks, bye.

and sorry to everyone who asked, but it's going to be all diary entries and I'm not going to put anyone else's diaries in, they just make comments in Lily's when they feel like it.

ok

BastsCleopatra: Of course exclamation points make the world go round! How could anyone ever think otherwise?

JerseyGirl03: So confused about the diploma thing.

Willow23: for the hay thing, the answer's one, right? Thanks for all you said.

CrazyStarz: Your name's mentioned in this chap too. ok? offend, offend, offend, I get it, I updated, happy?

Paruety Redal: If you're up to this bit in the chapter (the end) you know what happened next.

Ruth3: yeah, I've read those books, and I got the diary idea from her, and the top 10 lists from another of her books, but I think it's ok coz everyone copies everyone else when they start writing.

GlitzyDancingShoes: I'm not sure that it would be an entirely successful marriage…lol…

Chocolate Taco: lists aren't helpful! They scare you when you see how long they are, and how much hell you have to go through to get all the stuff on the list done. I know, my birthday's going to suck!

Star19: Aww, thank you so much.

Bronach Saorla: Thanks, I'm sure if I kept a diary all my friends would steal it…sigh…

Guard_Girl: No one I know has ever had the falling or naked dreams…I think they're made up by psychiatrists so we all think we're not normal and make appointments and give them heaps of money…sorry, just another one of my conspiracy theories…

faithenter the matrix: Thanks, the lists are so fun to write…
Mayumi-8805: Wow, you've really read all of them? that's a lot off reading, thanks, really J
yeen: Thanks, I hope you like this chapter too…
Quack Quack 88: Of course Lily likes James, everyone likes James!
Day-Dreaming Rhiannon: Thanks, that's really cool of you.
Pretty_Penguin: Thanks, and of course you want to be on a pretty list, who wouldn't?
Katie: I was reading it, yes, but I can't put James's diary in, because then everyone would know what he was thinking, and everyone's only supposed to know what Lily knows. Sorry.
meredythe: I go to school at Radford. It's in Belconnen, private school, blah, blah, blah.
marauder marion: Only 10 mins? my parents call me for at least 30 before I come. The it's 'Victoria, would you like to heat up your dinner in the microwave.'. Um, no, mum, it's been half an hour. I'm bloody hungry. I'll eat it cold. Thanks.
Chibi-Cola: Aw, thanks, I love getting on people's fave lists, it's so cool. I'm glad I made you laugh.
Faith456: Thanks so much, the lists are so fun.
Laura: Yes, I know Sirius's advice is freaky, and I know that's so Sirius, and Sirius is very cool.
crafty cat: Thanks, so many people have said they like the lists, it's very cool.
Mary-Kate: Nuh-uh. Sorry.
Lolly O'Neill: Thanks, but Lily's finally stopped being in denial! Yay! Now maybe this story can actually go somewhere.
Melu Black: Thanks, I'm so happy you liked it.
Sazinous: I still think 'Rissa' is a bit weird…sorry…
Tribal Leader: Thanks so much…
electra*27: Oh, I'm happy sam. So happy…
sirius: Oh, I'm sorry to make you wait, I hate waiting, but you're gonna have to wait some more because I have Year 9 camp on Wednesday so I'll be gone for 10 days…in the middle of the bush…without a computer, or pen, or paper…
Pittsy: thanks, I hope I can manage to keep this one interesting as it keeps going…I hope.