In My Life

Chapter One: A Sound Invitation

Summary: In life, people come and go. But when you love someone, you are never really alone, even if the one you love is gone.

Alternative Summary: Some lessons are sweet, others are harder to swallow. The hardest are those lessons learned in life for they are the ones that never change, no matter how much you wish they would. Those regarding love and death are no exception.

A/N- The title comes from the Beatles song, "In My Life". It fits this fiction, although this is not a songfic.

08/16/05- Added section to chap 1

08/18/05- Minor editing - I'm a glutton for revising things.

Prologue

Night fell. The shadows crept from their hiding spots and grew bold with the sinking sun. Soon, they would rule the land. A young man stood motionless like a statue, the thought of an important decision weighed heavily on his mind. He was still a boy by many standards, but for his eyes that had seen too much bloodshed and his hands that held countless weapons, he could have been easily called an old man from his experiences. A seasoned warrior, although it was not the battles he cared to remember anymore, he was about to embark on a path that could lead him to odds with comrades he would rather have fight beside him. Evil, they called him, but that incarnate of evil was also his only hope of gaining strength and he needed strength. Still, he shivered at the thought of joining him, that snake of a human. Indecision plagued him even as he remembered those terrifying ruby eyes.

As he stared off into the darkness, he could feel the light breeze play with the dark strands of his hair. He knew that he would probably never be allowed to come back here unless he were to be caught in the future- a distinct possibility since he would officially become a missing nin the moment the Fifth heard about his desertion. It was true that Konoha was home, but what kind of home is void of family or friends? If such a place can still be called a home, it is a poor one indeed. And so Konoha was for a long time, a place that meant nothing to him until he was placed on his team with the world's biggest loudmouth and one of the obnoxious girls with the biggest "crush" on him. And as strange as it might sound in his own mind, he had befriended them, despite their flaws; their many flaws.

It could be said that Konoha felt like home again. There was now something to look forward to for the future like what he might be doing and the plans he could make. For the first time in years, Sasuke was looking toward the future and not to the past. He was effectively moving on, in his own slow, belated manner and perhaps he could have somehow adjusted to a normal person who smiled when he was happy and frowned when he was not. Anything other than that emotionless, expressionless thing that supposedly represented his face. And he probably would have achieved that simple but nonetheless, difficult task if his past didn't come barreling back in with the person he hated most.

Itachi

It had to be the singularly most disgusting name he could have scrawled in his mind.

Weasel (2). Yeah, that name is prefect for him. Absolutely.

With that one word that his "brother" was back, all of Sasuke's fragile dreams of having a semblance of happiness crumpled as with the possibility of just letting go. That past had come back to haunt him and this time, it seemed as if "brother dear" was targeting Naruto.

Now, he knew how it must look with him running around looking for someone he didn't really "care" about: It looked like either the Uchiha prodigy cracked finally and was actually a softie under all those thick layers of antisocial barriers. Or the alternative version which was far more entertaining in his view, that he was secretly in love with the blonde loudmouth who liked to challenge him at every corner. Yes, that was likely to happen.

The truth was that he wanted to challenge his brother ever since that accursed day Itachi allowed him to live. Little Sasuke was finally getting a shot at his beloved sibling and perhaps this time, he could pay him back for all the misery he caused him. But to say that it didn't matter that it was Naruto, one of his two teammates, who was being targeted by Itachi, would be calling Sasuke inhuman. He too had feelings, even though for the most, they were usually pride, revenge, hatred, distrust and all the lovely things that a complete family massacre could bring to a nine year old. But back to the point, he did care about that idiot. Not a lot, but he cared enough and he didn't want anyone to challenge his arch-rival except him. Naruto couldn't even be called his arch-rival if he went around challenging everyone he met on the street. There wouldn't be any meaning to the word anymore! And so, if he could show off his nifty lightning trick, defeat his brother and save the world at the same time, why not?

If only it could be so easily done. It was a shock to see his brother again, even though he had tried to prepare himself mentally for it. The same blank stare of those chilling red eyes. The special Sharingan that Itachi had activated with the murder of his best friend. Just looking at him made Sasuke's blood boil but deep down, he was scared stiff. This was the man who killed the entire Uchiha clan single-handedly and without even a scratch on him. But what was worse, was the reason he killed everyone for. Wanting to test himself, he said. It had to be one of the craziest answers Sasuke had ever heard, but because of that desire to see just how great he was, Itachi killed everyone. It made no sense.

And now, he was running. Running away from all the progress the last six months and the dreams he had built up in the interim. His thoughts shifted from maybe accepting his past to revenge once more. It was like trying to shut out the sunlight that had once illuminated his life and crawling back into the black hole of loneliness and hatred. His heart screamed in pain, having reawakened from its long slumber only to be forced asleep again. For once in the longest time, Sasuke had smiled. It was a hesitant and possibly the smallest in recorded history, but it was genuine and with feeling. Like a flower blossoming anew in the spring, he was now forcing himself to wilt for a self-imposed winter.

His path led to Orochimaru, one of the prime enemies of his homeland and he was going to the infamous villain for possibly the most selfish and ignoble reason possible: For power. It wasn't that he was power-hungry or anything. Well, maybe just a little; for what kind of person is wholly without the lust for absolute power? Sasuke's need for power stemmed from his disastrous defeat by his gifted brother. He was still able to defeat Sasuke soundly. After all that training with his genius teacher, Sasuke was still soundly defeated by his brother. It was almost as psychologically damaging as the torture his brother put him through with those dreaded eyes of his. After all these years, his brother was still better.

He locked the front door and placed the key in his right pocket, out of habit. It was not likely that he would need it again, but the feeling of the metal key in his pocket was familiar and somewhat comforting in its own small way. A small pang of guilt kept nagging at his mind as he thought of his teammates and what their reaction would be to his departure. Disbelief, shock, anger and denial perhaps. Anger from that idiot. Denial from the other one. The rest of the village could have the remainder emotions.

He softened at the thought of leaving his teammates, his friends. That was probably the part that was holding him back. If it weren't for them and his connections to them, he would have nothing holding him back. A part of him cursed them for making these bonds with him and not letting him fulfill his task, but another part blessed them for having done so. The loneliness was starting to get too much and even in his constant hate-driven mode, he was not too blind to feel slighted when others shied away from him, even though it was usually subtle. He envied those who had parents and friends to play with while he had none. And now that he had people who were important to him, was he really going to throw it all away for something that happened years ago?

He sighed deeply, looking around his surrounding once more before leaving the Uchiha estate. The last time he would see it, unless he sneaked back sometime later. The darken road beckoned, leading out of the protected area. It was the road to a different future and so he started walking down it, one step at a time.

To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. In his wildest dreams or nightmares, Sasuke never would have expected to see a pink-haired girl professing her love for him in the middle of a deserted road at midnight. If it was any other way, some might call it romantic. That is, if the person professing their emotions was not crying hysterically at the same time. Sasuke really wanted to brush her off. This, like the other previous times, only served to annoy him not set him thinking about dating or heaven forbid, marrying this girl. She was irrational, incompetent and very hard-of-hearing. When a person says, "You're annoying", it does not (under any circumstances) translate to "I think you're hot. Let's go out." And yet, he might as well be saying something like that to the bunch of air-headed girls who called themselves "Sasuke's fangirls." All of them- insane.

But the things she was saying...they were very disturbing as in, well if he admitted to himself, he would have to admit that he had also thought about settling down in the future; the far, very far future. Still, the fact that he had thought about it and the fact that girls matured earlier than boys would make sense that she thought about it too...wouldn't it? Gah! This was getting him nowhere. He was supposed to be leaving the village under cover of darkness, not try to reason with a lovesick teammate to let him go! Still, something about her words compelled him to linger, if just for a moment longer, to listen to her. He could always leave afterwards.

"I love you so much Sasuke! So please stay with me!" Sakura begged the silent Uchiha.

Sasuke grew annoyed with her and her pleadings. "How is it possible that you can say that you love me!" He finally demanded.

Sakura was taken aback by Sasuke's sudden outburst. Normally Sasuke barely spoke more than ten words at a time and rarely was there any emotion behind those few words. "I can't explain it. Sometimes, that's just how love is. But I do know that I love you so much that there is nothing I would not do for you."

"Even die?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

"Even die." Sakura replied earnestly, missing the hint of sarcasm in Sasuke's voice.

Sasuke shook his head in frustration, gesturing wildly, "This isn't love. It's an obsession, pure and simple." Sakura stared at him dumbfounded. "Men want my skills, women want my body." He muttered to himself in disgust. He turned to her, "It's the same with you." He said accusingly.

"No, that's not it." Sakura blurted out hastily before she really had time to process what he said. Maybe she was obsessed with him and only because of his looks. It is true that based solely on personality that Sasuke was not that appealing of a person…No! She didn't like him just because of his looks, she also—

"Then what is it? What is it that you want from me?" His irritation rose in his voice.

"I want to know what you're thinking."

"What I'm thinking?" He asked, completely confused.

"I want to know what you're thinking wh-while you're drinking tea. I want to know why you don't like sweets or natto(2). I want to know what goes inside your mind. I want to know you, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke snorted, what an absurd notion; getting to know someone. He turned around, shouldering his backpack and started to head out of the village.

He stopped when a heavy hand clamped onto his shoulder. "Wait just a second!" The kunoichi demanded. Sasuke sighed; she couldn't take a hint, could she? He didn't want to resort to force, but if he had to, so be it. "Why are you doing this? Will revenge really make everything better?" Looking at his face, she knew she hit a sensitive spot. "You were happy here, so why are you leaving everything behind for something that you know will end in disaster?" Sakura persisted. Sasuke remained silent.

Seeing his hesitation, she continued in a coaxing tone, "Forget about revenge. It won't make your parents come back. They would not want you to spend the rest of your days miserable and alone."

"They would want me to avenge their deaths." Sasuke rebutted, stubbornly. He shrugged off her hand and started to leave only to find the persistent girl in front of him, blocking his exit.

"Not if it meant betraying Konoha," she clamped both hands onto his shoulders, immobilizing him and stared meaningfully into his eyes, hoping to make him understand. "Do you know what that means? It means that there's a great chance you will never be let back into the place of your birth and that the name of Uchiha will be forever hated and scorned. And that fear and hatred will last because there will be no more Uchihas to prove themselves as loyal citizens." She paused, "Is that what you want?" He shook his head vigorously. He had not thought of the consequences of his actions, only to the part where he would gain that immense power and finish the oath he had made years ago to himself.

Unsure of what exactly she should do next, Sakura took a hold of his hand. A part of her was giddy to be holding hands with Sasuke, but she quelled down the triumphant and high-pitched squeal that threatened to spill out. Instead she tugged on his arm, wordlessly leading him home. When he didn't move, she turned and looked at him.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked, sounding tired as if he just fought a long and arduous battle.

"Home," She answered simply, still pulling him gently. He followed without complaint.

"Home?" The word sounded foreign in his mouth and in his mind.

"My home." She clarified.

"Your home?" Sakura thought she heard a slight tremor in his voice. Was he scared?

"I'm not letting you go back to that lonely place of yours." She glanced at him quickly and was surprised to see something akin to gratitude in his eyes. She turned her eyes forward, seeing something other than the cool-guy attitude on Sasuke was a bit unnerving, "Besides I'm sure I can convince my parents to let you stay in the living room." He nodded and continued to follow her.

"What about tomorrow?" He asked after a while.

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, we'll go see Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura trailed off. In truth she had not thought as far as the next day. All her mind was concentrated on was keeping Sasuke in Konoha and to prevent him from leaving. Beyond that, she wasn't so sure.

"And the Hokage." Sasuke added firmly. Sakura looked at him, questioningly. Did he really want to see the leader of the village less than 24 hours after he almost betrayed it?

"The Hokage too, then." She agreed, seeing his determined face. Although it was his idea, he looked more pale than usual at the thought of explaining his near abandonment to two of the strongest people they knew. "Don't worry, I'll explain everything," she squeezed his hand in reassurance. He cracked a small smile. She held onto his hand still, afraid that if she let go, he would disappear into the nightly shadows.

Suddenly he stopped, halting Sakura suddenly. "You'll continue helping me…won't you Sakura?"

She nodded in assent, knowing how hard it was for this proud person to ask for help. "It's a promise." He nodded to himself, and together they continued to walk slowly in the darkened streets toward a small lighted household.

Sasuke hesitated entering the small but cozy home. He almost felt like an intruder when he heard sudden rustles of clothes from within, a sure indication of anxious parents awaiting their child. Sakura waited for him inside, holding the door. Taking a deep breath, he stepped across the threshold and closed the door behind him, shutting out the cool night air. Perhaps this was the road he was meant to take instead.

(1) Itachi means "weasel." I didn't know that info until recently and it seems like an odd choice of a name, but who am I to judge?

(2) Fermented beans. It's mentioned that Sasuke doesn't care for these in the episode where Itachi first appears, episode 81. This should be it for footnotes, don't plan to do many.

A/N- Warning, there is character death ahead. As for pairings, it will be clear later on. Oh and no offense to any sasuxnaru fans that might have wandered in. I'm not quite sure exactly what age Sasuke was when the Uchiha massacre was, if anyone knows- tell me please? Review and criticize please.