SORRY! But its so hard to think of something to write about. My god, its torture.
Ok so review replies take forever to write and to skim past for you until you get to the actual chapter. And I find myself having strange Pollyanna moments and saying 'glad' a lot. Besides, let's be realistic I don't update all that fast and if any of you can remember what you wrote in your reviews, wow. Just wow.
So this is the main points of my review replies, just as a general thing.
1. Thank you for reviewing, seriously, you make me feel guilty and I'm sorry I don't update sooner but I will try, as its holidays (and Christmas! Yay!) It can be like my New Year's Resolution. That's good, actually, I was trying to come up with a resolution for this year.
2. Yes, I copy from the Princess Diaries. The style anyway. I love those books, but they're kind of going downhill a bit. Everything does though, I guess. The second movie wasn't really worth the $10 either. Sorry to everyone I just offended. And the list idea came out of 'All-American Girl'. So I don't have a claim to that either.
3. Ok, I got only one review saying this (I think) but they said that Lily sounds more like an American than an English…person. (Do I say Englishwoman or what? What do I say here? Resident of England? I'm sure I'm missing something really obvious somewhere, sorry). I've heard that mentioned for other stories, and I kinda just wanted to say that I think that Americanisation is so big these days, and I haven't ever been to England but judging by the English TV shows, and the American TV shows, and literature and stuff, I think it's all kind of pretty much the same. I met some girls from England once, and they talked like I did (but with this awesome accent), but the same words and stuff. Lily (in my stories) talks just like I do (maybe with the exaggerated ditz), and I'm Australian, so that's closer to English than American, right? Thanks to the person who reviewed though, I think its an interesting thing to think about, how much difference there actually is between the languages. Although there is like masses of American slang I hear and it's just like 'What?' But anyway, sorry to anyone who thinks it's too Americanised.
4.Wow, everyone thinks she should get revenge, so I have to think of something now. Next chapter, I swear. I had like a rush of thought when I went to bed tonight and it was like finally. I suck at revenge, personally I spend so much time thinking about what I'm going to do and by the time I decide, the moment has passed.
5. I know how fast it is going, oh my god, and I'm going to try and space the diary entries out across more days to make it more realistic. Although is it just me, or do things happen in spurts? Like nothing will happen for months then all of a sudden it's like a chain reaction and everything happens at once. And then nothing happens again, and you hated the drama but you wish it would start again so you have something to think about?
I'm really sorry if this is turning into like a philosophy assignment or something. I'm sorry. Try to read between the rambling crap of what I'm saying and get the general message. Congrats for getting this far though.
6. Of course I watched the footy grand final, or I know I watched one and there were like a million. (This is real football, by the way, rugby, not American football, and not soccer(for the English people). In the one I did watch, I was going for the Roosters, coz of the whole Bulldogs group rape thingy.
7. Again, thank you to everyone who's contributed to my ego, especially the ones who've stayed with me for ages, and I'm gonna cop out like people at award shows do and say you know who you are, coz I will forget someone.
8. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, but especially the Northern Hemisphere because I don't know how you could survive a cold Christmas.
Chapter 10
In The Most Perfect Spot for Philosophising Ever, the Shower, (Yes, The Water is Turned Off, Yes I'm Wearing Clothes, Yes It's The Only Place I Could Find Where People Are Unlikely To Unlock The Door, and Yes it's Inspirational When Spider-Free), Late, Thursday, September 15th, 1977
Dear Diary,
Got thrown out of three classes (not my fault) for flicking bits of paper at people which coincidently hit the teachers (not on purpose), and then not owning up when they asked who did it (maybe my fault), flicking paper at whoever told them it was me (probably my fault) and slamming the door (on purpose, and my fault). In conclusion, I had a lot of time to think today.
And I have come up with:
Lily's Theorem:
Let Lily 'a'
Let James 'b'
Let Love 'c'
c ≠a b
I am so over the whole love thing. I thought I got butterflies in my stomach once but I discovered the next day that I actually had a stomach virus. I blame romance movies. And books. They stick these ideas in your head of what it's supposed to be like, and it's just not. Not for me anyway. How am I supposed to become independent when the Beatles are screaming that all I need is love? My god, and they said Hitler used propaganda. You can't turn around without being confronted by 'YOU MUST BE IN LOVE' in neon lights.
Thus, as is demonstrated in the formula above, it would appear that a2 b2 would equal c2, although on closer inspection it is not so. Social conditioning has made me feel that I love James.
Evolution and the need for the continuation of the race programmed me to want to reproduce with the best genes available (At Hogwarts, in 1977, these genes belong to James Potter), to ensure the greatest chance of the survival of my offspring and the continuation of my genes.
This was, as I said, pre-programmed into my brain, obviously, so I have only the monkeys to blame for that.
HOWEVER, popular culture is being held fully responsible for making me feel that I need to justify my evolutionary need to mate with James, with feelings like Love. This applies to James also, as Caroline is very good at Quidditch and ensures that his Quidditch-talent genes will live on . I mean, come on, he can't actually be in love with her. Trust me. I've read enough brainwashing books about love to know who can and cannot be fallen in love with.
So now, I am in this situation which has reduced me to paper ball flicking for entertainment. Somebody is to blame, and I have to say that I'm not really leaning towards the monkeys here. Monkeys are SO CUTE, by the way. Just in case, you know, when people in the future read this, monkeys have died out. They are SO CUTE. Except the whole banana thing is a bit weird. Maybe taste buds are just a human thing? Do you think monkeys eat pumpkins? I mean, they're not all that different to bananas. Same side of the colour wheel and all.
Anyway, this love junk. I need to realise that I don't actually love James, I just feel the instinctive need to reproduce masked by the unrealistic romantic expectations that the Beatles have brought upon me (I know, and you thought they could do no wrong).
Thus the obvious solution is to find and appropriate mating substitute, on which to bestow my affections, so my heart will get up to speed with my head and realise that I don't "love" James potter, anymore then I love indoor heating, as an instinct for survival. I can't believe I didn't see it before (Although I can believe that it's not butter, I've tasted it. Possibly they should aim their marketing towards monkeys.)
Suitable Boyfriends
Requirements:
Primitive Qualities (for the instinctive thing)
Alpha Male (See above)
Spider-Killers (Does it really need an explanation?)
Good-looking (I never pretended that I wasn't shallow- blame society for this also)
Sexy (Obviously has to ooze reproduction)
NOTE: Do not actually intend to reproduce, just planning for the future and to get James Potter out of my head
Likes Pumpkin (If he ever offered me some of his pumpkin everything would be ruined)
Basic Hygiene Knowledge (Must follow, not just be aware of facts)
Good Kisser (Just for fun)
My Age
Ok, so I figure that I'll observe the boys here over the next few days, and chose the winner. Like a competition, for a boyfriend. This cannot fail.
Night, World
Love,
Lily
The Lunch Table, Friday, September 16th, 1977
Dear Diary,
I have got the BEST pretend studying set-up here. I can see each candidate and look like I'm studying for my Astronomy test. Which I totally did already (sort of).
Ok, so basically I took all the boys in my year, crossed off any that had girlfriends, and James, and the other Marauders because I doubt they'd go for me after whole James thing.
So then I chose the best 5, which are:
Kurt Heathcliff: Ravenclaw
Very Musical, might write songs for me, seems a bit out of it sometimes, but mostly down to earth about everything. In my astronomy class, once wrote a song about the stars. Pretty Good.
Adron Trethaline: Hufflepuff
Coaches the First and Second Year kids in Quidditch, esp. Muggle-Borns. Not about to become a model but athletic. Pretty good at Quiditch, although I wouldn't know who to go for in Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor.
Jourdian Walker: Ravenclaw
Very smart, gets the best marks in written work. Good-looking, but tendency to be snobbish. Never know whether he likes you and is interested in what you are saying or is just being polite.
Laedin Peterson: Gryffindor
Ordinary guy. Pretty good-looking, sense of humour, issue and emotional baggage free. Nice friends, although they tend to like making perverted jokes when in groups. Gets on with James but doubt James would stop him from dating me. Likes Quidditch and boy stuff but doesn't obsess over it.
Talano Taylor: Gryffindor
Con: I'm not too sure about the name, maybe I can make a nickname. Tal or something. Had a total of three conversations with him throughout years at Hogwarts, all related to borrowing stationary. Sexy shoulders.
I'm not really sure which one I'm leaning towards, at the moment.
I'll think about it.
Love,
Lily
(Sorry, realised that I can't say love to a book or to the strangers reading the book anymore than I can to James)
In Between Classes, The Broom Cupboard, Friday, September 16th, 1977
Dear Diary,
Ignore the boys above. Maquisha was talking about the hot boys from Beauxbatons. And then, it came to me.
The perfect relationship is the long distance relationship.
I would have a boyfriend, but I would never actually have to communicate with them. Where is the downside?
I should be a romantic advisor. I would make millions.
Lily
...
hey, hope you liked it!
Merry Christmas and please review, I promise I'll try and update soon.