Disclaimer - As much as one would like, a fan fiction can never be written by the owner of the subject of material. As such, I also do not own much more than Aya and Nekheny. The mention of the Spear of Destiny belongs to Marjorie, also known as Kodomo no Hikari upon this site. Harry Potter, taking away publishers and distribution companies, belongs to J.K. Rowling, who I hope is having a wonderful time with her new child. While not present yet, I shall state now that Yami no Matsuei belongs to Yoko Matsushita. Cardcaptors (Card Captor Sakura, US release) belongs to CLAMP. Yu Yu Hakusho, past publishing and animation companies, is the property of Mr Togashi. Lastly, this is a side-fiction to Chaos Chronicles: The Beginning of the End, written originally by Kodomo no Hikari, with recent co-authoress Dragon Ladysupreme. This disclaimer stands throughout the written piece, and not just in this chapter. Further disclaimers shall occur upon new elements which may or may not be occuring.

(Bows gracefully to her readers) I realize that the current disclaimer is a tad wordy, though hopefully covers everything. As mentioned above, this is a side-fic to Chaos Chronicles, which is a story arc focusing around a legend altered by a friend of mine. Along the way of the story's life, I had slowly submitted more input within the chapters. It went from a simple character and reviews, to helping the authoress with slipping in some flavor with another chapter. That grew into beta-reading and kicking her ass to update a little more, and soon ended up to aiding with the development of the story's newest chapters events. In the latest chapter, That Night, I was officially labelled as the co-authoress. It's a wonderful story, and hopefully this comes out right. Just replace the # with the proper slash, and the ! with a period.

http:www!fanfiction!net#s#1473612#1

Warning: This, instead of a work in third person, is a journal. It will hold crude mentionings of torture, murder, and genocide if you wish to call that. Sexual content is on minimal description, but is implied. Not suitable for the younger readers, hence the rating. It is not for the faint of heart, and in the character's personal view of events expressed via written word.
July 30th
Entry #1

It's been about a year since I started; A year since that day my family had continued their betrayal, and tried to finish me off; A year since I returned the gratitude they had shown me. They're eldest, yet adopted, daughter who just so happened to be what they hated the most. Over the previous 14 years, I had endured the tortures and animosity shamans held towards the demon-kind.

A war, which had been going on many centuries, between two kinds of beings. One, a type of human which embraced its own branch of magic. The other, a different race which prided itself in power. How it started, all the legends remain unclear, though the hatred now seems to be permanent within both bloods. Though I consider this to be much like how mafia family rivalries start; A misunderstanding, and misplacement of blame towards a single tragedy.

I wasn't allowed, but the books were available while I was recovering in the cold basement. Books on how one treated the other during the war. It had to be written by a shaman, with how they were constantly set as the good guys. Psh, as if there was such thing as a good guy, or hero, in these kind of battles and wars. Demons held a quick, yet brutal, style of killing the shamans since then. Though shamans mainly protected their way, something remained out of the books. Something I knew, and experienced even now, without realizing it. When coming across an infant demon-child, the shaman family would take in and adopt that child as if it were a blessing. Well, that's what the public were to believe. Once old enough to survive, talismans which burn the skin, and leave electric pulses of pain inside the body for hours, are used. When it's time that they head to school, charms and spells of glamour are used to hide the welts and gashes set in. Back in the beginning, a bale of hay was the child's bed. Now it was the thinnest of blankets and mats along the ground, as if that were a huge gift to the inhumane creature. Christmas is the time the child knows that they would receive the gift of not being punished as badly as the other days. That was when I thought my unknown knowledge to be fairy tales. Ones to keep the kids from misbehaving, instead of actual truth. Such terrible things they'd do, and I blamed myself for what I did, though not knowing what, and accepted such treatment.

What was worse is that he or she was never told of why, not knowing they are demon-blood, so thought they had been doing something wrong the whole time. How could I have misssed that part, and not connect it to my own situation?

I would know of the treatment, from the years I spent under those who I thought were my family. Not unique, but one of the many children taken from their family, due to a shaman killing the parents, and punished because I was alive. It was on my 15th birthday, as one of the other, stronger, spells started to shatter. The pain of every muscle being ripped out of my body to turn into it's true form. I was scared, thinkingI would die then right in that basement I called my room. Salty tears having covered the sweat of my fear-induced shaking. I felt different, almost freed, but still in pain, wanting to ask those whom I believed were my parents. It was a feeling one could never forget so easily. Still, words will never do it justice.

Oh, they offered to console me, and help the pain stop. I accepted it, thinking they'd actually do what parents normally did to make their children feel better; What they did when the girl I believed to be my younger sister when she scraped her knee, or got bad grades. It was the last straw. When they tried to use that knife with a killer's intent, I had enough of it. The strength I suddenly held, despite feeling so weak... It was amazing.

I wanted revenge. Do anything for it, just so they knew how I suffered. Blood boiling, for the first time that I was sick of accepting the fact that I could have done something wrong for all those scars upon my body.

I showed them.

Though injured myself, my own state of mind was torn enough to pass it off as a minor technicality. I knew that much on some level, however, treatments would be important. Though there was no way in the worlds that I would do so as these terrible people still breathed.. First I went for my dear father, who taught my sister the talismans to use on me if I got in her way. I watched, learned, but never practiced. I wasn't allowed to practice before, for obvious reasons. So I did, for the first time, on him. Using every little thing that he had taught in front of me, and those spells in those books I wasn't to touch. It was so strange, with how Mom and Sister's screams only made my grin grow wider. Pathetic, though, that he died before I got to try every spell. They allowed me rest after a while, having those previous years to practice. Then it was mother's turn, who I thought deserved the worse. Which meant, that her torture was to watch Sissy's death come about. Oh how my claws loved being coated with that heated liquid.

That was when I noticed a few of the new features. Claws, fangs, things that really weren't human. I still had one person left, and she'd give the answers I demanded. Each time I asked a question, and she refused to answer, or lied, I bit off my Sister's finger and spit it at Mom's feet. Sure, the scream was loud and ear-shattering, but this was well worth it. It took the longest of times, as the second day rolled by, but I learned a lot more about who I was.

Shinimori, that was their name, and I needed it to get around still. Aya was what I've had long before coming into their household. Well, not long, as I was still an infant when adopted, but remained the only part of my birth name left in tact. She told me of the spell to keep myself in the human form, and about demon limiters; I was already placed with one, which obviously broke from time and built up energy.

Finishing my passed out 'sister' off, it was time to deal with this woman's physical torture after so much mental strain. I used the cruelest of ideas. Skinning, and working on the autopsy before she actually died. Though passed out by the time I ripped open those ribs, her heart was still beating, though faintly, as I held it in my red-stained hand. This was what it felt like to get revenge, I thought then, but only realized moments after. It wasn't finished, and I'd never feel complete. They weren't the only ones, and I wasn't the only victim of this death sentence. It was time to finish my work, and make them feel a kind version of what they put on my own type of people. Though I never knew before that day that I was just like those kids in the book, it felt like they deserved their own vengeance.

So it took 2 more days before I was out. A new illusion spell up and limiter to keep myself looking like humans. To travel without stares, like the good soldier I was. Was I a soldier? I still asked myself when writing this entry, and have yet to come up with an answer.

I held my adopted parent's books, which held locations of shamanic settlements. Well, they were towns, a city or two, and a few villas. All around the world, to use upon my own purposes. So I started with the closest place in New York, and worked on from there. Killing off all of the shaman's I could. Who cared about gender or age? Sometimes, my bloody rage got to the point that I felt that the pets were tainted, and took them out of pity. Not as excruciating as the treatment I gave my 'family,' but they were in pain when dieing. Never did I use my human form, not wanting that exposed, but the true form which was hidden among the civilians remained Aya Shinimori. The demon which continued to slaughter those monsters who call themselves shamans, well... They ended up giving that side of me a name; Palin Deathholder. Who was I to argue such a name?

About a couple of months that I started, one of the biggest challenges came about. Most of the village was like the rest of the Shaman's I had come across. Though one family used all of their strength, damaging me long enough to have myself go in human form to a clinic for treatment, claiming I was attacked by some gang. It seemed like they had more than their lives to protect, and they honestly did. Powerful, to hide that which was greater. Such an amazing item, it called out to me and my blood thirst. One of the dying shaman's claimed a demon such as myself would never wield the important item. Something about houses, or something, which I didn't understand through the blood he started to choke on. Humph, out of spite I just picked it up and used the sharp end to end his life by piercing through that skull.

It rang through, and accepted the self-appointed quest I set out for myself. The power within it was something I embraced. This wasn't just some spear, but another part of me that I came to consider it not too long after. With us, the quest went even faster. Though now the word was coming out a lot more, and a few shamans dared to come after me instead, to protect their kind. Blood upon blood mixed on my hands. Though I'd appear normal, no one would see how stained I was in what they called sin.

Everything has a price. I accepted that.

Though this was a year ago, that everything started. I thought this item which I had bonded with had given all that it needed to. Till today, when the strangest thing came about. I was licking off the last of the red spicy liquid from the buffalo wings before this amazing tawny owl flew right down in front of me. What, I can't live off of blood, I needed something to eat! Though the owl wasn't any stranger than the purpose it seemed to seek me out for. Picking up the letter, the fowl took off once again, as I read to whom it was for.

To the Spear of Destiny's Caretaker
The 3rd table outside the Beorn's Pub
Barnsley, Yorkshire S71 2JQ
England

This alone caught my attention. Before then, I had not known what exactly my precious partner was called, but knew this had to be directed towards myself. What else would they be referring to? Unless a man suddenly was gifted with a spear to create one's destiny. By the gods, like I would believe that. Any ways, that owl knew who it was handing the letter to. Upon looking within the thick envelopes contents, an eyebrow raised. Well, they weren't shamans, and this seemed like a good way to catch a break. What better way than to learn something in the process?

Either way, finally having gotten this, I decided it was time to finally try and act like another person. Come up with precautions, and other problems. However, this is when I decided it was time to start the journal.

Over my quest for blood, I now realize how scarred, nicked and torn my soul is. Every place, every day, that I shed blood, my spirit's been chipped away. Slowly from the humanity that I developed, over believing what I was, it was disappearing. The only thing I was relating to was the more carnal of desires people held. It definitely explained why I couldn't help myself, and people I didn't know called me a pervert, or nymphomaniac. It's time to try and claim back which I was paying for in this conquest, and with the words sealed within these snake-covered bindings and protection, I gain a little which I was lost, or am allowed the illusion of such. Though I know I would never be the same, as if I would have actually liked that, it would at least help me connect once again. Maybe gain some people I could call friends. Though never having one, they looked like a nice thing to have. A little less paranoia stirring within me, and some actual...

Now what was that word... Come on, help me here. Oh, yes! Trust. I came across that as well in books and conversations. Though I still believe that trust is an impossibility, those still have been known to happen. And now, when I feel something more than what I had before, as if something big is to happen. The letter, and these dreams which I have trouble remembering. It's all connected, and heading to this Hogwarts was the best choice. I knew it, not only because of my tainted and biased instincts, but from the resonance that my partner, the Spear of Destiny, held.

So I will be using the money taken from these attacks over the year, and my own family's funds. Use that to start some account with the strange monetary system these Wizards will no doubt have, and prepare for school.

Wow... I'm actually heading to a school again. Never thought that could happen again. This will definitely be quite the experience. In the meantime, my friend, you will be my savior. Every time my crystallized heart believes it's time to pour out the events and thoughts within you, I shall fill these yellow pages. There is time, and no doubt I would end up finishing you up, and still not have quenched my need for some feeling of salvation in the written word. However, this is why I have been known to write small, and you are of a decent size with your own thin lines.

Adieu,
Aya.

August 6th
Entry #2

A week has passed. Yes, longer than most people when it comes to updating journals. I spent most of it heading to London to figure out this Diagon Alley, which was a new thing completely. Sure, getting to the city was one thing, but finding the place to come to and getting to this alley in itself was a new experience. It was, by all things, a tavern which most people had been going by as if it hadn't existed. By the appearance of the aura around the place, that was exactly the issue. Whatever the difference, they didn't see just what I had at the time. When having come in, a few people gave some wary stares, I noticed. The bald, or balding, man however seemed to greet me politely enough. So, considering I was obviously new, he had helped me access Diagon Alley.

Naturally, I wasn't pleased when he told me I needed to get a wand. My partner spear was enough for my needs, but a wand! Ayia, I couldn't complain just yet over something small. Wands, though seemingly meaningless, could be a very interesting experience. First thing was the bank, which was Gringotts according to that tavern owner. Never thought I'd see a goblin, much less a whole staff of them, after reading about the creatures in my 'parents'' books.

The air seemed so crisp and clean, despite the fact that England was naturally a muggy place with lots of rain. These creatures, no, beings, were very intelligent despite those folk tales. I had the money and funds that were with me converted, and stashed up in a new account. They, finding I was considered a newbie, explained the gold system and examples of how much things were. Prices, honestly, were very well balanced from what I had and how they changed it all.

The next stop, after asking a lady who owned an ice cream parlor, was Ollivander's. Okay, I was a bit tricky on wands. Ambidextrous, and someone that many of the wands didn't take a liking to. With the length of my hands, it came out to the higher numbers on wand lengths. I asked him, curious on the meanings, what the point of the wood types and cores were about. With the olive, well Russian-Olive to be more specific, it was apparently to represent those who were in pursuit of hidden knowledge, insight, inspiration, and ideal for spells of communication. I guess that made sense, though it seemed strange still. He seemed rather uncomfortable to discuss the purpose of the core, but said that it was key in it's choosing of me, as much as the wood type or length. Though what else which made it best, was the part that I felt granted my new possession a great protection. Even when around shamans, you learned the purpose of a Quartz, and it's strength. Though a clear quartz, it'd always be considered amethyst by the pale amount of purple within it's hue. With this, I knew that it had to do with helping focus using your third eye, the crown chakra. Providing strength, stability, and peace, this crystal was best in calming one's energy and balance all of your chakra. The more I learned, the more this item seemed to connect with me.

Okay, it was a bit pricey, but apparently best for me. I mean, like the Spear, it chose me. I guess this was considered the best of all things in which I had received. Robes, books, and other items had to be purchased. Some just to do some crash course to learn up on. I could understand a good amount, just by comparing it to what 'father' was teaching the girl I thought to be my sister. I know I can do this, and being around all these different people, I feel more confident in handling Hogwarts. Despite the growing feeling of something foreknowing, I am actually excited.

Now was the issue of getting a place to stay. Finding random guys to sleep with for a bed was my usual method, though know it seemed best that I try a more honest method. No one would hire a 16-year-old to work for a place to stay till this train I was supposed to head to, and using my galleons and such was another thing that I'd rather not do. Though quickly I was realizing that I had little to no choice.

With so much stuff, I went back to the tavern to at least rent 1 room out for the night, till I figured out what I was to do. He seemed kind, and understanding from years of similar situations occurring. So, instead of saying that their situations weren't similar enough, the room was accepted as I brought my current supplies up before leaving. Though the purchased wand was something I didn't want to leave. Needed it for getting back and forth.

The day was waning, I knew that, and also knew that I had time before having to head off to this train. There's always this one compulsion to finish as much as I could, instead of waiting till the last minute. What if what I required wasn't there tomorrow! According to this list, I required more supplies for potions, robes, a broom and a familiar. Why would I need a broom? Did they consider I was a wi- Oh yeah, that was what female magic-users were here. I liked Asia better, where everyone was called an onmyouji, without separating by the genders.

So yeah, I went out and saw how busy the robe shops were. Instead, I decided to head off towards this Magical Menagerie which held quite the assortment of pets. Though not as much of a range that I had hoped for, I remembered itching to try out a new method. It couldn't hurt, right? I mean, it was only for choosing an familiar. They were apparent in all branches of magic I learned, from the year of traveling with real-life experience. So if I was meant to get a familiar to help me along this, I'd be able to reach out for it's own energy. Not to take or alter, but to recognize and connect with on some level beyond the others. It took a little while of walking, trying to get a good hold on the energies around here, past blocking out the noise. After a while, however, I had been able to stop at this one beautiful creature.

Okay, I know what one would say. Only an owner would consider a creature 'beautiful' despite it's true appearance. Maybe that was true, but I couldn't help but want to take this gorgeous predator with me. A falcon was perfect, relating this predatory bird to Horus. I wanted to name her Nekheny, which was something I picked up on a computer, meaning Flacon. The Eye of Horus was based on protection, I think, which somehow made me wish to purchase this wondrous Merlin Flacon. Oh gods, how many of these connections was I going to run in to? Merlin, of all things they'd call a pigeon hawk, which was a falcon, had to have 'Merlin' in front.

Best suited for these areas. Though I doubt I'd need her for something so degrading as letter carrying, she'd be a wonderful companion. I could see it in those dark brown eyes that there was a great amount of intellect hidden from the world. Though of a black and whitish spotted underbelly and neck, I knew she'd be better with me, rather than stuck in cage. Despite the warnings of falcons being rather aggressive, I had purchased Nekheny, along with the proper hood, mask, and food. Though now she is out of the cage feasting on a small animal, some how I know to trust her to not run away. She'll come back, despite what was said. Something in my mind and chest said so.

It's been a long day today, I know that much, but now it's time to close you up. I'm going to be trying out these charms first, before heading off to bed. Tomorrow, just in case I decide not to write again for a little, I'd probably finish up my supply-shopping, and figure out more with what I'm doing. The train doesn't come till September 1st, according to the letter, and I'm planning on sending out this reply tomorrow, giving them my actual name. Doubt they'd appreciate having me on the roster as 'Spear of Destiny's Caretaker' despite the subtle ring to it all.

Oh right, I almost forgot. Actually, I did, but am starting to remember a little of it now that I'm about ready for a night-cap. The last couple of nights, I've been having similar reoccurring dreams. Something about a train, and demons much like myself. Sure, I've come across a few over the year, but nothing like this. A few in my travels were able to help me visit the place I was supposedly from. Though this was in Asia, tracking down a lead before heading on to South Korea where another village was. Makai... Damn, that air stunk, but I luckily survived. That was proof, apparently, that I was demon, as if there was a doubt. Okay, maybe a little.

Oops... Guess I got distracted again. It happens a lot, which Nekheny had picked up on pretty quickly. Either way, the dream. It was scattered on what I remember. The train, demons attacking, people fighting, darkness and light. Something big was going on, but I don't know if it was meaning something, or those jalapeno's that I had those nights. One thing I do remember clearly enough was me trying to hug the floor and send out energy into the train. Why, I don't know, and what for was a mystery either. Oh! Oh, oh... I also remember that there was a cute guy or two in my dream. Though what they look like for real, I can't recall, the fact that they were cute was enough to convince me.

Ah well, till next time.

Adieu,
Aya.

End Note: Congratulations, you have survived the first chapter. Each one will have a minimum of 2 entries, and not just for length. This will remain within the plot of Chaos Chronicles, and never go ahead of that fanfiction's development. I apologize for the lengthy introduction of notes before, and if the business manner held scared you. Normally, I'm not so 'frigid' or whatever one would wish to call it.

Edit: I fixed up the first entry, which required necessary edits. Hope it helps some areas be understood more.