Polska- Muahahaha! After many months of ignoring this story, I've decided to update! Here is chapter six of "Know Your Stars: Smashers Style!" All right, as for D.K, let's just say that he can talk even though he can't. Okay? Good. Also, if anyone could tell me whom I missed to torture, please say so in your review, because I really have no idea who I missed. : D Thank you.
"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.
Camera shows Donkey Kong sitting on a chair.
"Donkey Kong…he's really an old hobo in disguise…" the announcer continued.
"No I'm not…I'm not a hobo. Hobos are old and smelly and I am certainly not a hobo!" Donkey Kong said stiffly.
"Donkey Kong…he likes to wear dresses in his spare time…" the announcer said, ignoring Donkey Kong's words.
"That was one time! And it was a dare!" D.K said, making an attempt to defend himself.
"Sure. That's what you want us to think."
"Aurgh!"
"Donkey Kong…he's a girl…" the announcer announced.
"That is preposterous! I am not a female! Are you insane?" D.K replied angrily, his voice rising gradually.
"Uh huh."
"I'm not!"
"Donkey Kong…he uses his big mouth to tell lies…"
Donkey Kong yelled and stood up, picking up the chair, and advancing towards the camera.
"What are you doing you overgrown ape?" the announcer himself was shocked.
Donkey Kong didn't answer and just tossed the chair at the camera. He stalked off, muttering angrily to himself about biscuits.
"Now you know…Donkey Kong. The female overgrown hobo ape with a bad temper…" the announcer said, as if nothing happened.
-
"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars..." the announcer said.
Camera shows Pichu sitting on a chair.
"Pichu…he likes to eat dog biscuits in his free time…" the announcer began.
Pichu made a noise that sounded like a cross between an angry cat and a growling hamster.
"Pichu…his brain is the size of a peanut…" the announcer tried.
Pichu made the noise again. The announcer began to become really annoyed.
"Pichu…he's too stupid to understand a word that I'm saying…" he said.
Pichu shook his head and hopped off the chair, letting out the weird noise as he marched out of the room.
"Now you know…Pichu…the – ah forget it." The announcer sounded genuinely frustrated this time. "They don't pay me enough for this job," he muttered.
-
Camera shows Young Link sitting in a chair. But there was no signature "Know your stars…"
"Hello!" Young Link called as he twiddled his thumbs.
No answer.
"Anybody there!" he tried again.
Still no answer.
"Why am I here!" he called, sounding a bit irritated.
Surprise! No answer.
"If nobody's here, can I have a pickle?" Young Link called, greedily eyeing a jar of pickles across the room.
And…no answer.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said to himself and stood up off the chair until…
"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"
Young Link muttered angrily and sat back down.
"Young Link…his greatest ambition is too become a pickle…" the announcer started off.
Young Link looked surprised.
"Yeah! How did you know?" he replied happily.
The announcer was silent.
"Uh, Young Link…he secretly uses scented strawberry shampoo…" the announcer said smugly.
"So? Is there a problem with that?" Young Link answered, staring wildly around for the cause of the voice.
The announcer was silent once more. This was NOT turning out like he had planned.
"Young Link…he lives under a rock…" the announcer continued.
Young Link flushed.
"And what if I do?" he challenged.
The announcer was sincerely shocked. Young Link was the least bit fun to torment!
Young Link drummed his fingers on the arms of the chair. But it seemed like the announcer was gone.
"Well if you're gone, I'm gonna get my pickles and leave…" the miniature Link announced and hopped of the chair. He hurried towards the other side of the room, looked around, and selfishly snatched the jar of brightly colored pickles and ran out of the room.
"Now you know…Young Link…the insane weirdo…" the announcer finished awkwardly.
-
As Doctor Mario entered the building, the announcer was muttering to himself. The doctor took a seat on the black chair that stood in the empty room and immediately spotlights began shining on him, and the announcer stopped muttering.
"Know your stars, know yours stars, know your stars, know your stars…" the announcer said, sighing.
Camera shows Doctor Mario sitting on a chair.
"Doctor Mario…he cloned Mario…" the announcer began hopefully.
Doctor Mario immediately became outraged.
"Never! I am his half-brother!" the doctor exclaimed.
The announcer then got his spark back at the sound of the doctor's frustrated tone.
"Doctor Mario…" the announcer said confidently. "He picks his nose in public…"
Doctor Mario looked outraged.
"Absolutely NOT! I would never do anything like that! Why, that sounds positively inhuman!" the doctor rambled and continued to jabber on about improper manners and how only buffaloes (don't ask) are that despicable.
"That's what you want us to think."
"…only buffaloes pick their noses in public!"
"Doctor Mario…he's not really a doctor…" the announcer continued.
Doctor Mario was REALLY steamed.
"How dare you! I am indeed a doctor and one of the finest there is!" Doctor Mario boasted.
"Sure you are…"
"I am indeed!"
"Mmm hmm."
Doctor Mario growled and slumped down, crossing his arms over his chest.
"And now you know…Doctor Mario…the cloned doctor impersonator nose-picker…" the announcer concluded gleefully.
Doctor Mario looked livid.
"How dare you question my doctor-is-ness…I am complete one hundred percent doctor and certainly not an impersonator! Nor am I a nose-picker! I am not a buffalo…you…you…buffalo! I'll have you arrested! I am not a clone of Mario! I am his half-brother! And don't you dare call me ill-mannered! I have very good manners…you ill-mannered…creature, you!" the doctor continued on with his ramblings for a good forty-five minutes.
"Are you done yet?" the announcer was beginning to grow tiresome of Doctor Mario's endless talks.
"Never!" Doctor Mario yelled and cackled evilly before continuing on with his endless ramblings.
Polska- …
I'm weird. Anyways, please review! And before any of you say that I copied another person's Know Your Stars: Smashers Style type thing, well you're wrong. That one that that one person is updating frequently is quite funny, and I actually published mine first, so don't you dare accuse me of such things.
Anyways, now that you've read…-shifty eyes-…please review!