Chapter 3

Aquatic Ruin Zone, Brazil: The Big Sweep

March 20, 2006: Dear Journal: What's up? It's Sonic again. I can't believe I'm saying this, but on my way to strip Eggman of a Chaos Emerald he found, all of a sudden Kazuya Mishima and Paul Phoenix jack him up like your normal school bullies! Suddenly I feel like laughing all over again because Dr. Eggman had Jun Kazama's moves, and he was executing every single one of them in his fight against Kazuya and Paul rather poorly. Now I'm just waiting for Dr. Eggman to perform either a Moon Scent, a Serpent Twist, a White Mountain, a Sparrow Trap, Cherry Blossom, Tooth Fairy, Rock Shooter, Mist Palm Thrust, Diving Sparrow, Spinning Nest, a Sweeping Sparrow, Back Flip Kick, Crescent Kick, or a Boomerang Sparrow so that another favorite fighter from the King of the Iron Fist Tournament can beat the daylights out of his Jun Kazama Walkers so that they ALL malfunction. I've seen Eggman get a little nauseous when he performs her Cartwheel Kicks with the walker. He always puts on his seatbelts. I can't wait to tell Tails and Knucklehead (BTW: that's the nickname I give Knuckles) the new moves Eggman's machine has learned. I also learned that Jun Kazama is either at Hong Kong (Spring Yard Zone) or Japan (Star Light Zone). And then Nina and Anna started fighting again. I HATE it when those two fight! What is WRONG with them? I wish Jun Kazama would come down here to South America right now and give Nina and Anna a Spinning Roundhouse, a Cartwheel Kick, and a Sweeping Sparrow all in one move! Sheesh! Can't the world's fastest hedgehog ever get a break?

"A NEW CHALLENGER ENTERS!" a nearby Tekken 2 arcade machine declared on the bottom of the game screen at the Aquatic Ruin Convention Center. Sonic was playing as Jun Kazama on Stage 6 (after seeing Dr. Eggman upgrade his failed machines that use Jun Kazama's fighting style, which should be copyright infringement), when suddenly, Knuckles inserted two quarters.

"I hope you're still thinking about that race that I challenged you to." Knuckles taunted. "Playing with Jun Kazama will get you nowhere." A few minutes later, Sonic made Knuckles eat those words when Sonic played a high-profile Jun Kazama game, one that Knuckles could NOT escape from using Michelle Chang. It was only a dream. Since its debut in 1992 in the Sega Genesis game Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (this game also marked Tails' debut), Aquatic Ruin has evolved into what is like the country of Brazil, built with a city and everything. Later that day, Sonic and Tails checked out the ruins. He also found that Dr. Robotnik had built a secret base. His plan for world domination was to make everyone remember the name Jun Kazama—but 99 of the time that never works. Half of Aquatic Ruin's inhabitants were still asleep, as it was in the middle of the night. He dreamt of playing at the arcade once again at the convention center. It looked like as if Dr. Robotnik, or Dr. Eggman, was up to no good, practicing with a robotic hedgehog near stone pillars, just like the Aquatic Ruin boss from the Genesis hit released in 1992.

"Lo siento de interrumpir,", the foreign-speaking secretary paused, "Pero suena como Dr. Eggman trata de destrozar nuestro pueblo con los ladrillos de piedra otra vez, señor." Sonic could not understand a word he said.

"Could you speak English for me?" Sonic asked.

"I feel it to interrupt," he replied, "but it sounds as Dr. Eggman tries to destroy our town with the bricks of stone again, sir."

"I thought that that was a Jun Kazama attack for sure!" Knuckles gasped. "It's nice to see Eggman's not thinking about that girl again."

"Espera un minuto. ¿Quién es junio Kazama?" the clerk asked Knuckles.

"Uhhh, Sonic," Knuckles paused, "I could not understand a word he was saying."

"Is everything all right?" Tails asked.

"Egg Breath has been spotted terrorizing the Aquatic Ruins with his illegal practicing again." Sonic replied.

"I thought I heard something about your long-lost friend from Japan." Tails said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah." Knuckles growled. "Get that clerk to speak proper English, OK?"

"Wait a minute. Who is June Kazama?" the clerk asked properly. He was scared that Knuckles tried to attack him. June Kazama is Jun's Engrish name, by the way. Everyone knows that is the WRONG way to pronounce it in the Tekken series.

"That's pronounced Jun Kazama, sir." Sonic corrected. "And that's Eggman's obsession that chased us around in that robot ship the other day, and was beaten numerous times by people we don't even know. I didn't know Eggman had deep feelings for women, personally."

"Are you playing with that girl's heart again, Sonic?" Knuckles replied. "You know that Amy is not going to like this…"

"Bah, who cares?" Sonic replied. "It's not like she's going to fly down here and try to make me propose to her in front of millions of people in Brazil. I have to find that woman and get the other part of that message!" He said that as if Jun Kazama had worshipped both the Spring Yard and Star Light Zones, located in the eastern part of Asia, basically Hong Kong (Spring Yard) and Japan (Star Light). Amy Rose, the pink hedgehog that is seen giving Sonic such a hard time, was nowhere to be found in THIS adventure. Then a scream was heard in the distance, almost sounding a bit like the girl that Sonic was looking for when she was KO'd in Tekken 2.

"I think that that was Jun Kazama!" Sonic replied. The Game Over sound from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 played when Eggman beat the fake hedgehog, and then fainted. The words exploded because the real thing flew down to Brazil, threw Eggman from the ship and performed a slew of attacks ranging from the Sparrow Trap to a Cloud Taste.

"Uhhh, Sonic…" a purple chameleon replied, "you might wanna see this for yourself. Jun Kazama's beating up Eggman."

"How do you know this, Espio?" Knuckles asked. "Aren't Vector and Charmy with you?"

"They're out on the beach." Espio replied. "Besides, I need to talk to both of you about something. It's Eggman's obsession with that girl that's beating him up."

"So, you like terrorizing animals and stealing Chaos Emeralds, huh?" Jun Kazama asked to Dr. Robotnik, angrily, whilst jacking him up.

"Whoa! WHOA!" Sonic shouted. "Now, calm down, Jun. You're going to faint."

"No, no, Ms. Kazama." Eggman chuckled. "No hard feelings—it's not what you think."

"I'm sorry, little fellow," Jun paused, quietly, "did that mean scientist try to hurt you?" The bird chirped loudly as possible. Jun grew more and more furious with Eggman as she turned around to face him.

"Calm down already!" Nina replied. "Can't you see Eggman's just trying to trick us?"

"I'm going to have to beat the answer out of him now." Jun replied. "This doesn't make any sense that he's been terrorizing this blue hedgehog and his friends, and all the animals since I was eighteen!" In a sign of Michelle Rodriguez-like behavior, the WWWC officer hit Dr. Eggman even harder than expected. Anna and Nina tried her hardest to calm Jun down, but to no avail.

"You were 18 in 1991?" Anna asked. Jun broke free of Nina's hold and proceeded to do two more cartwheel kicks on Eggman.

"And THAT'S for making Sonic's life a nightmare!" Jun growled, angrily, and then delivered one last back flip kick to Dr. Eggman. She was furious with him. If this were 1995, Dr. Eggman had better watch out when he crosses paths with Jun Kazama—because the first time he sees her would be his last.

"K.O.!" the announcer said. This time the Jun Kazama glitch like the last two chapters was fixed. Eggman let out a scream like the Jack robots from the Tekken series when he was defeated. He was dismantled rather quickly by Jun Kazama, Tekken style.

"I've been beaten up by Jun Kazama!" Eggman growled. "HEDGEHOG!"

"And she's off…" Espio sighed. That's when both Sonic and Eggman's dream ended, a dream for Sonic and a nightmare for Dr. Eggman. The result: Dr. Eggman was injured mercilessly by Jun Kazama (she broke his left arm!). Eggman fans may seem to notice that this brutal attack started by Jun Kazama just doesn't seem right. She didn't have to resort to beating Eggman mercilessly just to get him to stop being bad. At the end of the dream for Sonic, Jun Kazama was STILL nowhere to be found, so it would be up to Sonic to race around the other countries to find her. Eggman's dream about a nasty altercation with Jun Kazama told him to stop sleeping on the bed wrong. Sonic's dream about almost running into Jun Kazama at the last minute (well, not really) told him to never stop on his quest to find her, although the road may be hard to keep up on. Knuckles had the lead until Sonic sped up…and zoomed by. Sonic and Knuckles sped up by Eggman's base in Brazil where all those machines that help him understand Jun Kazama's moves a little better (ok, he's really obsessing over her now). There were literally no fights to discover. Everyone was in Las Vegas, as Sonic and Knuckles had to deal with this.

"So that's where he keeps his sick obsessions…" Knuckles growled to himself.

"What's up, Knuckles?" Sonic asked. "Did you find something?"

"Nothing." Knuckles retorted. "Just Eggman and his SICK Jun Kazama obsessions locked away at the Aquatic Ruin base. Why hasn't the WWWC cracked down on this mucking scientist yet?"

"Oh, look. The finish line's dead ahead." Sonic replied. Knuckles ran as fast as he could, but was no match for Sonic, who squashed him in seconds flat to win the third round. Just then, a memory came to him.

"Now, just remember," Jun paused, "you have to believe in yourself. Don't let anything stand in your way."

"Gotta nail Eggman." Sonic replied. "He must be stopped in Japan at all costs!"

"Eggman…" Sonic growled.

Eggman: Phew, what a crazy dream. I didn't know Jun Kazama hated me since 1991.

Me: Duh, that was your debut along with Sonic.

Sonic: If I see ONE more of Eggman's "Jun Kazama" contraptions, I'm gonna—

Knuckles: I've had it with his practical jokes too. When will this crazy author…

Sonic: Stop wasting time and get me to Jun already!

Me: I'm trying! You can't rush these things, you know.