If Only
It's now currently 10:31 am, about five hours into Meredith's shift. Addison had greeted her husband with a peck on the cheek, giving him a sip of her own hot chocolate, and then remembering she had another for Meredith. She had happily said her hello earlier this morning as she has been doing all this week, not forgetting the extra cup of hot chocolate that she bought for Meredith. No matter how much she loves chocolate, Meredith still drank that one sip and tossed it. Meredith still didn't like the idea of taking this from her. I mean, what does Addison expect? Does she really think that Meredith and Derek are completely serious about this whole "friends" ordeal? I mean, Meredith is trying. Derek seems to be trying as well, but how long will this last. Eventually all this pent up emotion and desire will get the better of them and one will crack under it all. Addison may be trying to make amends but, come on!
"Maybe it's her little peace treaty," Christina says into Meredith's ear as she hands her a cup of coffee when she reaches the nurses station not a minute after the dumping of the "treaty"..
"I don't really care what it is, it's just...weird." Meredith replies sipping the coffee and then placing it down on the counter and looking over her charts.
"Maybe it's her way in saying, "hey, We work in the same building, we mine as well get used to it!" Christina says laughing a little. "You know?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Meredith trails off as she reads the charts. "By the way, why did you drink so much last night?"
"Do I ever need a reason?"
"Good point." Izzie walks by in a bit of a rush, Christina and Meredith greet her but she doesn't seem to notice. She's heading off in the direction of Danny's room.
"Speaking of drinking..."
" Danny?" Meredith asked indicating the reason for Izzie being so drunk.
"Poor Izzie, I warned her about falling for patients." It's George, surprisingly he looks at Meredith, but just briefly before taking some of the charts from the pile in front of Meredith. He is still a tiny bit shaken about Alex's outburst but what Alex had said was true. If only what happened hadn't happened.
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Meredith sat down at a table by herself. She told the others she needed sometime alone. What they didn't know was that she was thinking about Derek. She was thinking about what could have been and what could be. If only Addison wasn't in the picture. They are building a house...they are finally settling...dammit. Meredith feels like an angst ridden teenager. She is extremely upset about how her life is turning out, she feels like it sucks big time all the time. She wishes she could wipe her past and present clean, like writing in the wet beach sand. Nobody knows this and she'd like to keep it that way. All the while as she's thinking this, her elbow is resting on the table, hand raised a little and her fork poised in her hand. She's got this look on her face saying that she is in deep thought. Why does life always make you jump through hoops? And why am I constantly having to go through them? Is it some kind of test? And if so, what's this so called test, all about?
"Meredith!" A voice can be heard and Meredith snaps out of her trance, noticing that the voice came from the one person she rather not sit with.
"Hmm?" Meredith asks, acting like she isn't upset or bothered by her new company.
"May I sit with you? Derek is in the middle of a major surgery right now and I didn't want to sit alone." Addison says sitting down and opening the plastic container to her salad without a "yes" or "no" from Meredith.Make it stop...Meredith looks around for a moment, not believing that she probably will be having a civilized conversation with this McDreamy steeler any second now.
"Umm..."
"Thanks, so how are you?" Addison says taking a bite of salad.
"...I'm okay..I guess." Meredith is feeling uncomfortable and unfortunately it shows. Addison notices and tries to make it better.
"Have you been in any good surgery's today?"
"Uh..no, Bailey assigned me to a pile of charts..." nope not any better. Be better if you just leave.
"Ah Miranda...I'll see what I can do." Addison winks at Meredith and continues to eat. Meredith notices that she hasn't even touched her food and eats a mouthful. This is weird...
"Uh...What about you?"
"Me, not so much, actually I have this poor little eight month old girl we think she has Bacterial Meningitis. Meredith makes a face. Sorry for the poor little thing.
"Will she be okay?"
"I seriously don't know, right now she doesn't look to good. Her family are all here, her mother is beside herself."
"What's her name?" Meredith asks, fork in hand, her thoughts completely harbored by this awful news.
"Elizabeth."
"...What a beautiful name."
"I know..."
"You just have to meet this little girl." Addison smiles. Taken aback by her own actions, Meredith smiles back. What the hell is wrong with me? Addison's pager goes off. "Damn, emergency Spinal Tap!" Addison rises from the table, "say, you want to be my assistant?"
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Elizabeth is the cutest little girl you have ever seen. She has a tan complection, like she's been out in the sun, and very dark almost black hair.
"This is Dr. Grey she will be assisting me on this procedure." Addison informs Elizabeth's family. They all just nod to scared and upset for their little girl's life. Addison hands Meredith the needle. Meredith stands there as Addison lifts up the tiny girls robe. "Okay, just do what I told you." Meredith sticks the needle into the skin of the spine and pulls the handle back, cerebrospinal fluid filling the vile.
"Please take this for testing," Meredith says, handing the vile of spinal fluid to a nurse."
"Will she be okay?" It's Elizabeth's mother, she sitting right next to her daughter, her face stained with tears.
"We wont know until we get the results back." Meredith replies, feeling the concern as well.
"The results should be back in a few hours or so, we will let you know then." Addison informs placing a hand on the woman's shoulder. Meredith and Addison leave the room.
"Will she be okay?" Meredith couldn't help but get attached.
"She is very ill, there is a slim chance she'll make it..." Meredith's head sinks.
"Meredith!" Christina is running down the hall after her and Addison.
Meredith turns around, "what's the matter?" She asks stopping in the middle of the hall, Addison notices she is no longer walking and stops a short distance away.
"Burke is operating on this guy who swallowed a quarter collection, lets go watch." Christina says, looking from Meredith to Addison.
"Go ahead Dr. Grey, I'll page you when I get the results back" Addison says turning and walking down the hall. Meredith follows Christina.
"What was that all about? I saw you sitting with her at lunch...man, how do you swallow 20 quarters?" Christina asks leaning forward as she watches Burke down below.
"I helped her with a Spinal Tap...and she didn't want to sit alone..."
"McDreamy was in surgery I take it?"
"Yeah...wow, quarters, those seem to big to go down someone's throat."
"That guy was stupid." Alex says leaning forward and looking at the two girls from the corner of his eye. Burke looks up for a moment and glares at Alex..
"You should really watch what you say." Meredith says leaning back against the chair and folding her arms.
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The results of the little girl named Elizabeth are back and are positive. She has to under go a lot of treatment to get through this. Unfortunately she is so ill she isn't even conscious anymore. Alisa, Elizabeth's mother, was ushered out of the room by her husband, said she needed proper rest and some food in her stomach. Meredith has now taken her place at Elizabeth's bedside. Meredith is just looking at her. This poor little girl...what did she do to deserve this? Meredith wonders, studying the girls face. Meredith thinks back to a little boy maybe three years older then Elizabeth, he must be her brother. He was holding his sister's hand and singing a song, she thinks it was called Somewhere out there. Wasn't that from the fival movie?.She knew that even though his sister wasn't awake, he thought she could hear him.
"I know you probably don't understand me but, you have to be strong, for your family and your broth's sake. They need you..." Meredith whispers Touching the little girls tiny fingers. She is very ill...I hope she can beat this.
"Hey," Derek's voice filters through the room, very softly.
"How long have you been standing there?" Meredith asks, a little above a whisper."
"Not long, how is she?" He asks walking closer to Meredith
"No change..."
"Addison told me you did the Spinal Tap..."
"Yeah..." Meredith says, feeling uncomfortable again. She gets this look on her face and Derek looks at her concerned.
"What's wrong?" His eyes lock on hers.
"It's...it's just, she hasn't even gotten the chance to be a person yet...she still brand new, she's so little and this had to happen to her..." Meredith looks down at Elizabeth's tiny hands. "Why Derek?"
"I wish I knew..."
"I just don't understand it...Why so many hoops? Why do we always have to go through all these hoops? What's the purpose?" Meredith's emotions start to get the better of her and she gets up from the chair.. Derek walks over to her. She looks like she could use a hug, some comfort. He knows she's not just talking about this little girl. Meredith looks up at him, a single tear lingering in her eye. Her head lowers and she leans forward into him. He raps his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. If only things were different...
Chapter two is done. Please tell me what you think so I'll know if I should continue. By the way, I based the little girl from my own Experience, even used my name...yep..