This chapter is dedicated to Mariel with inspiration drawn from her awesome story What's Needed. You are my favorite Canadian, eh!

Chapter 11 - It Just Was

Walking into the waiting room and seeing Danny, Vivian and Martin, she suddenly felt very weary. For a moment, they all just stared at her, noting the blood on her smock and on her hands. Finally, Vivian came to her and said, "Come sit down Samantha. You look exhausted. Do you want something to drink? How about some hot coffee?"

Shaking her head no, she replied, "No thanks. I just need to sit for a while." They all sat in respectful silence for few minutes until Samantha saw the blood on her hands and shuddered. Danny jumped up and brought back wet towels from the restroom and asked as he wiped her hands, "How is he?"

Samantha saw a flash of how Jack looked when she left him…..machines beeping, tubes everywhere, blood everywhere, four sets of hands working on his many wounds, so battered and pale. Her lip trembled as she tried to gather courage and she answered with a false, matter-of-fact tone.

"It is touch and go right now. They just about had all the major cuts sewn up and got the bullet out of his shoulder. His vitals are okay. They were going to tape his ribs and wire his jaw, then send him up for CAT scans and a MRI. Depending on what they find there, they will either go into surgery or take him to his room.

Stunned at her report, the three agents tried to fathom what Samantha had witnessed. She was pale and her face was etched with concern. Martin squeezed her shoulder and said, "Sit right here for a minute. I'll be right back" and hurried down the hall.

While Martin was gone, Danny tried to reassure Samantha that Jack was tough and in good hands. He would be just fine and be back to work soon….not to worry. Samantha shook her head and admitted, "God. I hope so Danny. But you should see him. They tried to beat him to death." Her voice cracked with pain.

Martin returned with coffee for everyone and some snack food for Samantha. She shook her head no, but he insisted, "Look. We know you aren't going to leave his side anytime soon; at least until you know he is out of the woods. You aren't going to do him any good if you pass out from hunger, wear, and tear. So at least eat a little something…please?"

Martin's kindness brought a small smile to Samantha's face as she fondly teased him that she liked Zingers more than Ding Dongs, but Ruffles were her favorite chips. He smiled warmly at her banter and said with a tinge of sadness, "Well, I guess I should have paid more attention to what you really wanted."

Julie came out of the trauma room and said, "Samantha, he is coming around and we are about ready to move him. Are you up to making sure he stays calm for us?" Samantha rose immediately and told the team to go home and get some rest. They finally left after she promised she would call with updates.

-xxxx-

When he came to, his first reaction was to jump up. But when he tried to move, he felt lethargic and couldn't feel his limbs. Fighting the feeling of panic, he tried to make sense of what was happening and listened intently for Samantha, but heard nothing but strange voices.

He felt movement around him and hands on his body, but still nothing from Samantha. She had been there hadn't she? Why did she leave? I really need her here with me. As his mind raced to make sense of the situation, his breathing became labored and he felt pressure on his chest. He heard someone say, "Stay with us, Mr. Malone. Just relax. Everything is going to be fine."

Fine my ass. I'm dying here and I need Sam! He tried to call her, but his jaw was clamped shut. With his anxiety mounting, he struggled to stay calm and was just about to lose it when he heard, "Hey handsome. Good to see you're awake again. You've been out for quite a while."

Samantha felt his body relax immediately when she stroked his hair and he heard her voice. He responded to her touch with a soft grunt as he turned his head toward the sound of her voice.

The influence she had at that moment to soothe him moved her deeply and she felt a confident calm wash over her. It seemed at that very moment she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she and Jack would never be apart again.

The trust and depth of their connection was not fathomable and could not be explained. She recalled a conversation she had had with her friend Mariel as she tried to explain her feelings for Jack. After listening for hours, Mariel had finally stopped her and simply said, "It can't be explained with words…it just was…it just is."

Holding his hand, she said, "Jack, the nurses are going to take you to a different location for some tests and then get you settled into a room. I can't go with you, but I'll be waiting for you when you're finished."

Then, softer and more intimately, she said, "I'm not leaving until I see those beautiful brown eyes again, okay?" He moaned his response and gave her hand a feeble squeeze. Samantha could have sworn he tried to smile.

She watched as several nurses wheeled him out, tending to the array of tubes, pouches and monitors. She felt so tired and scared. While she stood there trying to make sense of it all, Julie walked up and said, "You know, not just anyone could have done what you did for him today. Most people fighting for basic survival like he is don't respond like he did. I don't know where you fit in his life, but he trusts you completely."

Her smile was warm and sincere. "Come on Samantha. Let's go the nurses' station and see which room they are prepping for Mr. Malone. Then, you go down to the cafeteria and dine on some of our fine cuisine. I'll have them put a cot in his room. You try and get some rest, because it will take them an hour or so to run the tests. Assuming those results are fine, he will be out for a long time when he gets to his room. I have a feeling you aren't leaving till he wakes up."

Samantha found out Jack would be in room 405, then followed Julie's advice and ate a hot meal. She called Vivian to relay the latest, with Vivian promising to contact Danny and Martin. Jack wasn't in his room yet and the rickety little cot looked inviting – she was exhausted emotionally and physically. Checking her watch, she thought she would lie down for a short while and rest her eyes.

As she lay there in the silence, she found herself turning to a Higher Power again for the second time in a short time as she quietly implored, "Please let his tests be clear. I know I'm not the best of Your creations, but I know You are out there. Jack is a good man and we both need You to help pull us through this."

She drifted off to sleep.

tbc